The Sufficiency of Scriptures in the discipline making of the church and home

The National Center for Family Integrated Churches welcomes Vote Bacam with the message the sufficiency of Scripture in the disciple making ministry at the church and the home. Listen. In this last session, we have an opportunity to again turn our focus to the sufficiency of scripture. And in this session we're looking at the scriptures and the sufficiency of scripture as it pertains to the discipling ministry of the church and the discipling ministry of the home, and how that discipling ministry works together in a sort of synergistic way. And if you're like me, you know, the term synergy is just something that you probably usually don't like to use. And as a staunch, fire breathing Calvinist, I can't stand the word synergy most of the time. But when it comes to the relationship between the home and the church and this process of discipleship, there is a synergy and it's important for us to grasp that and to understand that. And as we talk about this ministry of discipleship. If you were in the session that I did earlier and we talked about youth ministry, but one of the points one of my problems with youth ministry is that first and foremost, it has no basis whatsoever in the Word of God. It is biblically indefensible. You cannot go to the scriptures and make any coherent argument for systematically age graded ministries. You can't do it. You can't do it. And that's that's my biggest problem with it. And when you start to talk about that and people try to defend age segregation in the church, and these ministries that sort of look like the school system in many ways, that come from the philosophy of individuals like G. Stanley Hall, philosophies of individuals who are committed, committed Darwinian evolutionists who believe in the recapitulation theory, and because of all of that, they believe that you have to divide people up by ages, not because of anything other than Darwinian evolutionary philosophy. That's where age graded school systems come from, and that's where age graded Sunday schools come from, and that's where age graded youth ministries, children's ministries, so on, and so forth come from. And people will often ask this question, well, come on, it's just an hour a week. What harm can it do? It's just an hour a week. Really, what if you have a problem with pornography on the internet just an hour a week? Well, are you saying that Sunday school is the equivalent? Not my point. Here's my point. You can't argue that something is harmless solely on the basis that it happens only an hour a week. That argument is as weak as well watered. You cannot argue that just because it only happens for a limited period of time that that means it's okay. Because if it is philosophically and theologically diametrically opposed to the biblical worldview, I don't care if it's half an hour a week, it's a problem. And let me clear up a myth. There's a myth that family integrated churches hate Sunday school. Family integrated churches think so day school is of the devil. Folks. There are family integrated churches that have Sunday School. They're not age graded. But nobody says that because you have a class that meets for an hour before church that you're of the devil. If you want to have a class that meets for an hour before church, or for an hour after church, or on Thursday or on Wednesday or Tuesday or whatever day you want to have a class for people to get together and sit down and study something that's wonderful. But where where, pray tell, do you find any justification for breaking it up according to ages and grades? I tell you where. Darwinian evolutionary Marxist ideology. That's where. And nowhere else, nowhere else. So we as we talk about this process, let's just get the straw man. Let's just bury the straw man. Okay, this is not about arguing as to whether or not someone can have a class that meets before church or that meets after church. That's not the point. Let's bury another straw man, shall we. A straw man that says, you know, those family integrated church folks, they believe that the church doesn't have any authority as it relates to discipleship, that the authority rests only in the home, and that the church doesn't have any authority, and that a pastor doesn't have any authority to do any teaching or any ministry, or any discipleship or any counseling with anyone if they're part of a father's household. That's a straw man. People, because in case you realize it or not, right now and throughout this entire weekend, your family has been taught. Amen. We didn't just say, fathers, come in here and listen and then go and dispense the information to your wife and children. We teach it everybody, everybody. And that's what we do. We teach everybody. Amen. That's a straw man, it's a complete straw man. But what does it look like when we're doing discipleship and respecting those God given institutions. What does the synergy between those institutions look like? Well, I'm glad you asked. Open your bibles with me. The Book of Titus, the Book of Titus. We're gonna look at Titus chapter one and Titus chapter two, and we're going to start at the end and then go back to the beginning. Don't ask me why, just trust me. We'll start at the end. We'll go back to the beginning and you'll understand why. You'll understand why in just a moment. So we'll start actually in Titus chapter two. We'll look here in Titus chapter two, let's look at the first part of this and Titus chapter two. Before I do this, let me give you these three things. I'll give you these three things, and then I'll pull them out of the text for you and shure you where these things come from. Three things that God has given us. It's sort of like a three legged stool. I like to talk about it, like a three legged stool. It's a three legged discipleship stool. God has given us these three gifts, and through these three gifts, He has provided for us a wonderful mechanism and opportunity to be disciples. Those three are these number one, and I'm just giving it to you in this order because it's the order that we'll look at these things in. I'm not saying that this one is superior. First for I'm giving you these three because they're the order that will encounter them in the text. Number one, he gives us godly mature men and women in the church, godly mature men and women in the church. And by the way, all of those words are important. Godly mature men and women in the church. All those words are important. I'll explain why all those words are important. Okay, that's number one. He gives us godly mature man and women in the church. Secondly, he gives us godly manly elders. All those words are important too. He gives us godly manly elders. Thirdly, he gives us godly biblically functioning homes. Those are the three. And we'll look at all three of these, and Titus chapter one and Titus chapter two, and how the three of them work together as this three legged stool. And you need all three. By the way, you need all three. They are important. It's imperative that we have all three. Why because God says so. We need godly mature men and women in the church. We need godly manly elders, and we need godly biblically functioning homes. We desperately need these. If any of these is taken away, then there is great difficulty. Is it possible to do discipleship if one of these is missing, Yes, it's possible, but it's greatly hindered if any one of these three is missing. Look at me if you will, and Titus chapter two. But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be they stop there and good down in verse three. Older women likewise are to be. Why is that important? Here's what you need to understand, we're not just talking about people who, by virtue of their age, qualify for what's being lined out here in Titus chapter two. Just being older is not enough, Just being gray headed is not enough. He is speaking here about the character of godly men and godly women who have walked with God over time. So what we're talking about is this sanctification process as it matures, this sanctification process as it bears fruit over time in the life of a man or a woman. We are not talking about a person who merely is old, and by virtue of being old, they qualify as a tightest two man or a tightest two women. Nothing could be further from the truth. There are two types of older people. Who aren't sinning like they used to. Okay, there's one older person who doesn't sin like they used to because they've been born again. God has absolutely transformed their lives. He is working in them to will and to do his good pleasure. They are not who they used to be, by the glory of Almighty God. That's one type of older person. Here's the other type of older person. They don't do it anymore because they got too old. You can't say amen, you ought to say ouch. All right, they don't do it anymore because they got too old. Are they more godly? No, they're not more godly, they're just tired. They just can't get out there like they used to. So what we're talking about here is not people who qualify as tightest two men or tightest two women merely by virtue of gray hair or merely by virtue of age. We're talking about a character that is formed as the Gospel transforms a life, takes an individual from darkness to light, and then in a process of sanctification, makes them more and more like Jesus every day because they've been walking with God. So we're talking about godly mature men and women, and all of those are important. We're talking about godly men and women. We're talking about mature men and women. We're talking about men and women because God's very clear about men and women here and about the relationship of discipleship being very gender specific. And we're talking about in the church. We've heard about this already. We all listen to the charge on a number of instances on yesterday and on last night about how desperately we need the church. We've heard that charge. You hear that charge here again. This as an that was given to the church. This is about the church. This is about the structure of the church. This is about the ministry of the church. This is about discipleship in the church. These are about godly older, mature men and women in the church. If we are divorcing ourselves from the church, we are divorcing ourselves from the mechanism and the blessing that God has given us for our own discipleship and sanctification. We need the church and we need godly mature men and women in the church. One of one of the problems that I have with many of the movements are day and we've heard several times over the course of this weekend about the emerging church movement and other types of church movements. But one of the problems that I have with many of these movements, these burgeoning movements, is this is that they are monolithic as it relates to age, and basically it's just glorified youth group. It's young people. We're a church targeting twenty somethings. No, no, you're not a church. If you're just targeting twenty somethings, I don't know what you are. You can call yourself something else, but if you're just targeting twenty somethings, don't call yourself a church. The church is multi generational in nature. Amen, we desperately need godly mature many women. Well, what does that look like? You guys ask all the right questions. Older men are to be here's the first one. Sober minded. Older men are to be sober minded. Older men are to be dignified. I like that. It's nothing like an undignified older man. I mean, an undignified younger man is not too pretty, but an undignified older man that just didn't work. Older men are to be dignified. They're to be sober minded that have had their head about them, they have their wits about them, and they are to be dignified. Why because they work really hard to be dignified. What's happening here is not Paul saying here's what I want you to work real hard to get the older men to do. No, he is giving us the identifying marks of older men who belong to Jesus Christ and who are sanctified by the power of His spirit over time. One of the marks of a man who has walked with God over time, is that he will be sober minded and he will be dignified. It's one of the evidences that he actually belongs to God. Self controlled. Older men ought to be self controlled? In fact, is this not one of the great differences between the older man and the younger man? Self control? The difference between the older man and the younger man give me summed up by a conversation that happened between two men as they sat in a red light. Here at the red light, and the older man is actually driving. The older man is a car collector. The older man has a sports car. You pick the sports car, but it's an older sports car, but it will still flat out run. He sits there and the younger man is sitting next to him in this sports car that the older man is driving far too slowly for the younger man's taste. The younger man's sitting there going why have all this under the hood if you won't budget? And all of a sudden, another car comes up besides their car, another sports car rivs its engine looks solver, gives him the look, the universal symbol for less race. It goes something like this light turns green of the car peel out. The older man just gradually rolls off the light. The younger man sits, they're knowing we could have taken him. The older man says, I know, so why do I need to self control? Difference between the older man and the younger man is you say to the younger man, I double dog dare you, and he'll try it. You say to the older, mature, self controlled man, I double dog dare you, and he says, even if I could, I wouldn't want to self control, which, by the way, is not really self control at all, because remember, we are talking about the Gospel taking root and taking hold in a man's life. We're talking about a man being genuinely converted. We're talking about a man over time being conformed to the very image of Jesus Christ. So what happens here really only looks like self control, when ultimately what it is is a yielding to the control of the spirit of the Living God. Sound in faith, sound in faith. One of the marks of a man who's been walking with God over time is that he ought to be sound in faith. If there is anything that burdens me, it is this idea in our culture, in the modern American Christianity, we will not tolerate biblical theological and spiritual maturity in men. Let me say that again, in modern American Christianity will not tolerate biblical, spiritual theological maturity in men. We just can't have it. Nothing above mediocrity. Oh what do you mean. I mean, we're at this conference and we I mean, of course, we're all about this. We want men to be mature, we want men to grow up. Listen, I can prove it to you in most of our churches. If you have a young man who's sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years old, and this young man is reading church history, and he's reading theology. He knows his Bible, he's studying his Bible. He has a passion for the Word of God, has a passion for the things of God, and a passion for the people of God. You know what happens in the average American church. They look at that sixteen seventeen, eighteen year old young man and they say, God must be calling you to preach. Really why? Because you love the Bible, you love theology, you love church history. You're passionate about the things of God. Now what we ought to say is, well that just means you're a Christian, right, No, not in a modern American church. And you know this is true in the modern American church. If a young man gets that serious about the things of God, immediately the mediocrity of manhood and the modern American church says, you need to get away from the rest of us, because we will not tolerate your passion. You've got to go get a seminary degree, You've got to go become a pastor. You've got to put reverend in front of your name so that I no longer feel guilty about my own mediocre pursuits. And because of that, modern American Christianity is the only place in our culture where we will tolerate this cognitive dissonance between a man who will say I've been walking with God thirty forty to fifty years and I know nothing because anywhere else, I don't care what you name the field. Name the field. We're in our culture. I'm talking about just anybody just lost pagans named the field. I don't care if it's brick laying, I don't care if it's truck driving, whatever it is. If there's a man on the job who says I've been doing this for twenty years, thirty years, forty years, and another young man comes to the job and says, hey, I've heard you been doing this thirty years, forty years. I know if there's anybody who can show me the ropes. You can show me the ropes. And we'd all say yeah, of course, if he's been doing it that long, you ought to be able to come to me. He ought to be able to show you the ropes. Well, what if the young man comes to the older man who's been doing this for thirty forty fifty years and says, brother, you've been laying bricks for forty years and I've just started. Can I just come alongside you and watch you so that I can learn how to be a bricklayer, because I'm sure you're a master at it. Now. Oh, I ain't no master bricklayer. I don't know nothing about no bricks. See we laugh. But how about this, You've been walking with God twenty thirty forty years, sir. Can I come alongside you as a younger man and you mentor me in doctrine, theology, Bible and church history. What's the response? I ain't no preacher. It's the only place in America where we accept something so ludicrous, where a man can say, I've been walking with God thirty forty years and I proudly declare I know nothing. I'm ignorant, I'm a babe in Christ, a forty year old baby, and I'm not ashamed of it. Nowhere else is that acceptable. Only in the church. Only in the church. But the text says, one of the evidences of a man that belongs to God, who has been walking with God over time, is that he is sound in faith. He sound. We're called to contend earnestly for the faith that was once overall handed down to the Saints, and yet we proudly proclaim that because we don't have ordination papers, we're unwilling and unable to do it. If nothing else, just having read through the Bible for forty years ought to make you somewhat of an expert amen something. But understand, this is a gift that God is giving. It's a disciple making gift that God is gives. Look at the next part, sound in faith in love. You look at that, and here's what's ironic. Sound in faith and sound in love are older men again. Modern American church are older men the ones to whom we would look as examples of what it means to be a loving Christian, it's almost laughable. No, no older Christian men or not. Jane has the examples of loving Christ they ought to be. When we look at the Phesians chapter five, wives be subject to your own husbands as unto the Lord. But what does it say to husbands, husbands, love your wives as Christ love the church. Folks. If there's a man who is in Christ, who is born again, who has been walking with God for twenty thirty forty fifty years and walking with his wife twenty thirty forty fifty years, and his number one job description is to love her the way Christ love the church. He ought to be the example of love for everyone in the church. But is he No, No older man in our churches are to out love everybody, sound in love. But that's not what we expect, that's not what we anticipate. And in steadfastness, there's the picture. There's the picture of the older man, the godly mature man in the church that God has given as a gift to his bride. The church over time begins to mature, begins to take root by walking with God and being sanctified. That's what he looks like. Older women, likewise, are to be what reverent in behavior, just like an undignified older man is a travesty. An irreverent older woman is a travesty. Amen, somebody, it's just nothing like an irreverent older woman. An older woman ought to be rich, she's nothing else. You ought to be reverent? Well, I don't know what do you mean? What is an older woman who's not reverent? What does an older woman who's irreverent look like? Well, we don't have time to go into all that, but can I just tell you one thing. Here's one tip off of an irreverent older woman. You hear her long before you see her. I'm gonna leave that one right there. Reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slanderers. Isn't it amazing? Women are known more for their words than men. Women I believe have a greater ability than men to both heal and to harm with the tongue. And one of the evidences that a woman has been walking with God over time and being sanctified is that she is not a slanderer. Her tongue is not venomous, She does not speak words that tear others down or slave too much wine. Older women are not slaves too much wine controlled by outward influences like that. They are to teach what is good. This is the equivalent of the sound in faith for the older man. In other words, instead of slander and an older woman who's been walking with God, instead of having a quick tongue and a sharp tongue that is slanderous towards others. What she's characterized by as a result of her sanctification in Christ is that when she opens her mouth, pearls of biblical wisdom fall out. When a godly, mature woman speaks, it is the word of God that flows forth. When a woman has been walking with God over time, being sanctified by Him over time, her words are a source not only of blessing and healing, but they are a source of truth. As she has hidden the word of God in her heart that she might not sin against Him, and out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Because this woman is sound in the faith. When she speaks forth, she is not speaking forth the words of Oprah Winfrey, doctor phil or doctor Spock, but the words of doctor Jesus. Why is this important? She teaches what is good? And so he's gonna answer the question why is this so important? And so train the young women. Just stop there. I know, we know this, we're familiar with this, but just stop there for a moment, Just for a moment. I want us to go through a little exercise here instead of going forward with this. Stop right there. There's a statement that comes after this, but we're gonna put We're gonna put a parentheses here and go to the end of the statement, and so train the younger women. And then go down to the end. And it says at the end of verse five that the word of God may not be reviled. Now stop there. If you and I had never read this before, and we were to say, older women are to be sound in the faith, or older women are to teach what is good so that they may train the younger women, and you stop, and there's a parenthetical statement there. Whatever training these older women are going to give younger women. The purpose of it is that the word of God would not be blaspheming, the word of God would not be defiled. What sorts of things would we put in that parenthesis? Older women on teach younger women. You know, theology, Bible, apologetics, whatever. There's so many things that we would put in that parenthesis if we're saying our goal is that the word of God would not be defiled. But that's not what God puts in that parenthesis. What does he put there? And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind, submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. There you have it. So what's the undercurrent flowing here with the relationship of the older woman and the younger woman. Here's the undercurrent. It's the home. Do you notice it just goes straight to the home. So God says, I've given you this in the church. And one of the reasons that I've given you this in the church godly mature men and women, is so that in the case of older women, they open their mouths and pearls of biblical wisdom come out. And as a result of the pearls of biblical wisdom coming out of the mouths of older women, younger women are better are equipped to do in their homes what God has called younger women to do. Here's what's sad. We take Titus chapter two. And by the way, notice this, Titus chapter two does not say an older woman should teach the younger women in the church. No, it says older women. Titus two is not a model for women's Bible study. Let me say that again. Titus two is not a model for women's Bible study. Even if the women's Bible study is studying issues like loving your husband and your children and being sensible, pure, and a worker at home. Not a model for that. Why Because women's Bible study is an older woman singular, standing before a group of younger women plural and instructing them in a pastoral manner, as we'd say down south. That ain't in the book. That's not what this text teaches. This text teaches what older women plural are to teach younger women plural, and the context of it is relational, not formal instruction. So do not run the Titus chapter two for an excuse for your women's Bible study group. Will you have a teacher teaching a bunch of other women. You can't. That's not what this text teaches. It's not here. Okay, it's not here. Did I say that a woman can't teach another woman something that comes out of the scriptures. Folks, nothing could be further from the truth. When an older, godly, mature woman opens her mouth, scripture is what comes out. How is a godly woman supposed to train a younger woman in the area of loving her husband and her children without the word of God being the source. If the word of God is not the source, then the woman is the source, and that's a problem. But this is relational, This is not formal instruction. So note here the first leg of the stool godly mature men and women in the church, and God using godly mature men and women in the church for the benefit of the younger. By the way, this is one of my biggest problems with the whole age segregated ministry model. How does the tightest two relational ministry happen if the senior adults are over there in that building and the youth are over there in that building. In fact, while we're meddling, how does this ministry happen if we have our traditional service at eight o'clock and our contemporary service at eleven o'clock, and the older women and older men go to the traditional service at eight and the younger women and younger men who desperately need ministry from them go to the contemporary service at eleven while we pretend that we're one church instead of two, lying to everybody who will take five seconds to acknowledge what we're doing. Got that one out of my system, all right. So here's the picture. This is what God has given us, godly mature men and women. This is the first leg. It is a relational discipling entity. Godly mature men and women are a gift that God has given to his church. They are these jewels that God has been shaping over time, and they are of great benefit to us. Let me ask you a question. If you're a young couple and you're a young family, have you spent as much time trying to find a godly older couple as you have trying to find vision form or vote blocking resources. Here's what I see. What I see where I go, it's people who are just so grateful for everything. Vision for m is doing so grateful for what you know. All of the speakers who are here there is doing so grateful. You've been a lifeline for our family. You know that's wonderful. But here's what I want to know. Number one, do you have a church? And number two are you seeking out godly mature men and women not just to write books that you can read, but who will be in your life? Or have you so isolated yourself that our materials are all you have. If you have, that's a problem. If you have that's a problem, well you just don't know. There's just no churches like that in my area. Let me just again, I'm going to tell you this because I love you, I really do. I love you. I love you, so just hear me on this. Here's what I can't wrap my mind. People who, on the one hand, read the Puritans and say, oh, thank God for men and women who would get in a ship and cross the Atlantic for months at a time so that they could come here and worship God in freedom. But you won't move to the next county. God help us. We idolize people who face death to cross the sea, But we stick our thumb in our mouth and cry rather than move across town or to the next county, because spiritual fellowship is just that important to us. Instead, I'm just going home church for a while. We need God's people, we need gods people desperately, and we sit here as fruit and the heritage of individuals who gave up everything, and we're willing to go anywhere enough already with sulking because of what we can't find, or because of what we're unwilling to start. While we're on the subject, it amazes me that on the one hand, we will say we do not need the school system. We're free from the school system. That bondage is gone. We educate our children in our home and we can do it, and we can do a good enough job. Who needs all that certification in this and that and the other? Great Amen, hallelujah, Praise the Lord. You got a church? No, ain't no churches in our area. Once you go start one. I don't have any certification from a seminary. I get whiplash, people, I get whiplash. On the one hand, this staunch rejection of the whole idea of the start of a cage. But when it's time to stand up and lead, I'm sorry, sir, but I don't have any papers. He gives us, godly mature men and women. I got two more to go. We're gonna make it, though. You just gotta listen faster. Than you. Ben, here's the second one that he gives us. He gives us godly manly elders, godly manly elders. Here's what's interesting. You look there, and then the next verse is likewise, urge the younger men to be self controled. And that's it. There's no list. There's no list. People, there's no list. The women got their list, the men there's no list. And the men are sitting there going I was robbed. I got no list, and the women are saying, yeah, I was robbed, I got no list. Men are walking around going, hey, I'm looking for a proper thirty one woman and tightest two women. And women are walking around going I'm looking for ladies. Can I give you a list? Okay? Can I can? I? Can I give you? Let me give you a list. Here's a list. You're looking for a tightus one. Man, and go wait a minute, time out, whoa wait a minute, because I know my Bible Titus one, those are requirements for elders, uh huh. And then the requirements for every man. Well, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no, those are requirements for elders. Listen there's no list for young men in Tightest chapter two because the list was already given in Titus chapter one. Hey, hey, I understand, but that's a list for elders. Okay, let me explain this to you. Why the list in Titus chapter one is the list for young men? Three reasons. I'll give you my weakest one. First number one, because there's no list in chapter two. And if that was my only reason, I wouldn't even bother to bring it, because it'd be a weak reason. However, that's not my only reason. Okay, there's no list in chapter two. Here, here's my second reason. Elders are commanded in one Peter chapter three, our chapter five to be examples to the flock. Right, be examples to the flock. Now, try to follow me on this. If there's one set of requirements over here for elders that look nothing like the requirements over here for regular men, how's that guy an example for this guy? If they have different lists. The answer he can't be. The Only way the elder can be an example to the flock is if his list is the exact same list that every man ought to be striving for. So that's my second argument. Here's my third argument. There is not one thing in the list of qualifications for elders that any one of us is willing to give up on for our own sons. Not one thing. Don't believe me. Let's go through it. That is chapter one. This is why I left you verse five in crete, so that you might put what remained into order and appoint elders in every town. As I declared to you, men who've been to seminary, I'm sorry there were no seminaries. Men who've been Christians for thirty forty years, I'm sorry there hadn't been Christians for that long. Verse six. If anyone is above, reproach the husband and one wife his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. Many translations say has faithful children to better translation of the word here the word that we have for faith and believe, same word translated here. The argument is not that all of the man's children have to be converted. If that was the case, every time a new child was born into an elder's home, he'd be disqualified. It's that he has faithful children. Why why are we looking here? By the way, I want you to notice where we start. We start with the elder's home, with his marriage and with his household. Now, which one of us is willing to say, a husband and one wife. Noa not my son, faithful children who are not open to the charge of debauchery and insubordination. Knew I want some wild, out of control grandkids, Thank you very much. Next part of the list goes to his character. We move from his household to his character verse seven. For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick tempered, or a drunkard, or violent or greedy for gain. Anybody willing to give up on any one of those? For your sons? Okay, now we get the opposite. Here are the affirmative ones, but hospitable, a lover of good, self controlled, upright, holy and discipline. Is there anything on that list that any one of us would be willing to say is not of the utmost importance for the young men that we are raising in our homes? Not one. Oh yeah, but I know you're about to get to the one now, because this one here that's about the teaching type stuff, and he's not gonna. Really you think this one doesn't apply, Go to verse nine. Look at verse nine. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught. Anybody wanting to raise a heretic? No, you want your sons to hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught? Do you not? So that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine? Anybody willing to say, no, my son doesn't need to be able to give instruction in sound doctrine? Are you serious? Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. How do you do that if you're not capable of instructing in sound doctrine? Every one of us wants our son to grow up and instruct his household in sound doctrine. And lastly, to refute those who contradict. Jude makes it clear that that's the responsibility of every believer to contend earnestly for the faith. Peter makes it clear that all of us are to set apart Christ as Lord and our hearts, always being ready to give an answer for anyone who asks us the reason for the hope that is in us. In other words, even on the teaching aspect of the elder's responsibility. He is to be a model because everything he's called to do from the pulpit, he is first called to do from his home. Young ladies, hear me, start begging God for a tightest one man. Father's mothers, hear me, start speaking to your daughters about the beauty of the tightest one man. Start challenging your sons. By the way, there are a lot of people who thought that my latest book, What He Must Be If he wants to marry my daughter, was all about courtship. Newsflash, It's all about biblical manhood applied Biblical manhood. This is what we're looking for. For the longest time, we had no idea when it came to a young woman for our sons. You know, go to Proverbs thirty one son, go to Titus two. Son. When it came to a young man for our daughters, we had nothing. Just find you a godly man. We had nothing, But the Bible couldn't be clearer. Right here in Titus chapter one, we have a picture of godly manhood. By the way, here's the next half of my argument I talked about earlier in my message on feminism, my position on male headship in the church and in the home, male leadership in the home, folks, This passage right here is one of the reasons I argue vehemently against female pastors. This is a man in Titus chapter one, not only a man, but he's a man's man, manly pastors. Here's what we've done. We have so transformed our understanding of the pastor that now the pastor is this sort of intellectual nerd who spends all of his time in his office, who has all of these academic credentials, who is in touch with his feminine side. Who is this loving, soft, tender speaker of the word. We don't even like the word preaching anymore. He gives talks and messages. No wonder, we're willing to have women step up and be pastors. We feminize the position. The office of pastor is the offer of office of a shepherd. And if you think shepherds weren't manly, you've never met one. A shepherd is a bad dude, don't think so. How about you go fight a wolf with a stick. The office of the there is in office for a man's man, a real man who is an example of what manhood is. You know why many men don't want to go to church because we've so feminized the position of pastor that a man's man looks in the church and says, I'm not following him. I wouldn't follow him out of a burning building. I let my wife and kids go follow him, because he seems like the type of guy who'd be real good with women and children, but I'm not going to follow him. Notice here, also, but we're not talking about he's got to be a man who's you know, spits and chews and scratches and public and all that. That's not what we're talking about here, but godly biblical manliness like Christ. It's the picture of Jesus who walked around with bare feet and calloused hands. It's the picture of Jesus who turned over tables in the temple, who picked up a whip and chased people out. Listen, if Jesus looked like the pictures that we paint of him, with the perfect hair and the perfect skin, who could be a hand model and a hair model all wrapped up in one, Trust me, people would not have been running out of the temple but laughing at that man. You want to know my Jesus. You go to the other end of the book where he shows up with fire in his eyes and with a sword on his thigh. That's my Jesus. He's all man, he's a protector, he's a warrior. He conquered sin, he conquered death, he conquered the grave. That's Jesus. Here's the last part of the pictures. My time has gone. Look at verse ten. Notice in Titus chapter two we have godly mature men and women. What's the focus there? The focus there is on truth of the word and impact in everyday life. In the home. Now we have godly, manly elders. Where do we start with their qualifications? What they are doing in their homes, because they're modeling what all of us ought to be doing in our homes. Now, in case we didn't get the theme of the home, look with me beginning in verse ten. For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. They must be silent since they are upsetting whole Sunday school departments by teaching. For I'm sorry, they must be silence since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. One of the reasons the text says that elders are the whole, firmly to the faithful word and give instruction in sound doctrine, and refute those who contradict is because of this fierce protection of the smallest teaching unit in the church, the home, third leg of the stool. Now let me paint the whole picture for you. Child is born. Some of you have seen me walking around here with little with little Mike, our a little almost four month old. In our other you know, little baby Judah fifteen months, and little Asher who's almost three, full Elijah Elijah's five, and then big old Tray he's sixteen, and Lady Jasmine. I won't say how old she is, because you don't say how old ladies are, even when they're nineteen. You just don't say how old they are. But here's the picture, you know, in our hotel room, we sit there and we're rocking a little baby Mike. We're not at home. We don't have all our stuff, and we're trying to do family worship and make it here on time and all the rest of this stuff and it's just pectic and everything else. And so we're trying to do all this and I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, as I'm sitting here, and we've got baby Michael going back and forth and all this sort of stuff's happening, and sit here, here's this child three and a half months old, has no idea what's going on, none whatsoever. But in a few months he'll be like his older brother who's now fifteen months old. We can't say a whole lot, but he knows that when it's prayer time he does this. And then when we finish up and singing the doxology, no, no, no, just would just jump on in. Okay, and his older brothers and his older brothers and his sisters, who get it. Now, Here's what's happening. He's being engulfed in a culture he won't even know anything else. He's being saturated and bathed in the Word of God, and he has no idea. It's all he knows. All of a sudden, as he's been saturated and bathed in the Word of God, he comes to this place called the church. And as he comes to this place called the church, there are other men and women there older more mature than their father and mother, who speak the same words, and who did the same thing with their kids, and who will speak truth into my kids' lives, even when that means, boy, I'm gonna spank you and then take you to your daddy so we can spank you again. Bless God for people like that in the church. Amen, And then they are elders. It's godly, manly men who thunder the gospel from the pulpit with passion and no fear, and all of a sudden, I hear it from leg one of the stool at home, and I'm saturated in it. I hear it from leg two of the stool. It's godly, mature men and women who've been walking it out for a long time, and it looks good on them. And I hear it from leg three of the stool as it's thundered from the pulpit, and all three legs of the stool are communicating the same thing into the life of that child. Is that not glorious? It may not mean as much to those of you who grow up grew up with it as it does to those like me who did not. First time I ever heard the gospel was my freshman year in college. Those of you who know me know I was raised by a single teenage Buddhist mother and drug infested, gang infested in south central Los Angeles, California. I know legs of the stool, none no legs of the stool. And I look at my children and sometimes there's this holy envy, Oh God, what that I had had an opportunity to grow up in a household like that. That's the three legged school. You know what some of us do. Some of us start taking away legs. Some of us don't align ourselves to the church, so there is no godly manly elder, or we align ourselves to a church where there's an elder. The godly manly part not so much. Some of us align ourselves to a church, but we don't pursue relationships with the older. And there are some of you in this room who are older, and you set it on cruise control, and your attitude is I paid my dues, I've raised my kids. I'm gonna worry about my family, my grand get shame on. You give your life to the bride of Christ till you die, give your life to God's church. You don't want of the things I pray for. I pray that when I die that there will be boys. If God should give me another forty years, and if I die at a ripe old age of eighty, that there would be boys who say to their father, would you take me to Pastor of Ody's funeral? Because he was my friend. He was eighty years old, but he took an interest in me even though I was just a boy and he was my pastor. He did not send me off to children's church. It was my pastor, and he was my friend all day. I was eighty years old and he's dead, and I just want to say goodbye to my friend. But there are so many of us to a certain point in our lives where we're done with God's people, and that's they're part of our age group or part of our immediate family. There are young families all around you who are desperate for godly older men and women to pour into their lives. Oh yeah, brother, but you don't understand. I didn't have all that. I didn't do it all right, newsflash, we'll take that. I love it when an older man will sit down with me and all he's got to say is, don't do that. I did that. I know what that ends up in. Don't do that. Uh, I got the scars. I'll show you. Don't do that. Thank God for that. Amen. That's a lie from the pit. When you think because you didn't have a pristine upbringing, or because you weren't the perfect parent, that you've got nothing to give to another family. No, you know what you got to give. Here's what you've got. Older man, look into the life of that younger man and say, listen, I know your career is incredibly important to you now, but that two year old is going to be twenty next week, and you get one shot and one shot only. And when you're laying on your deathbed, you will not sit there and regret the days that you didn't get up earlier to go to work. What you'll regret is the days that you sacrifice your family on the altar of your career. I did that. Don't do that. If you're an older man and that's all you've got to give, that is priceless, give it away. If you're an older woman and all you've got to give is listen, sweetheart, I know that this submission thing is difficult for you, but let me help you with something right now, you're waiting for your husband to be worthy of your submission. He never will be, or is he the object of your submission. Your submission is to Christ. You have a gospel based submission. You submit to your husband as unto Christ because of the picture of the Gospel that your relationship is living out before a lost, hurting and dying world. If you spend your life waiting for your husband to be worthy of your submission, you'll never submit to him. Your heart will be hardened toward him, you will be a poor witness to the Gospel, and your marriage will be as shambles when your children are gone. I know because I did it the wrong way. If you're an older woman and that's all you've got to give away, give it away. If you're a family. Under the sound of my voice, I do not mean to make light of your circumstance if you're in a place where it's hard to find Christian fellowship. But I do mean to open your eyes and call you to at least explore the possibility of getting on your own ship and traveling across your own Atlantic to a place where you can plant your life and your family's life in the midst of this three leggage stool, because it's that important. Yeah, but I got a lot of land and there's no crime. You know what, You'll get that in heaven more than enough land and absolutely no crime. But newsflash, people need the gospel, right. I don't know what God's calling you to do with this, but we've heard so many things of the course of this weekend. My prayer for you is that you get from this two things. Number One, all we did was walk through this book. That's it. That's all we did. Titus chapter one, Titus chapter two, not the latest studies and surveys about discipleship and all this sort of stuff. T is Chapter one, Titus chapter two. It's sufficient, people, It's sufficient. It really is. But here's the second thing. If we really believe that it's sufficient, let us give our lives to what it says. And if it says you need all three legs those stools, you know that stool, you get all three legs. But what do we do if listen, I can answer your question, you do whatever it takes. Yeah, But what if whatever it takes, yeah, But what if yeah, whatever it takes to be in the midst of godly mature men and women, godly manly elders, both of whom will spur you on as you strive to be a godly, biblically functioning home, raising children who are now benefiting from that Fulllord picture and being blessed by God at every turn because of it. Let's pray, Father, you have been more than good to us. You have given us your son, the God Man, Jesus Christ. You have saved us, redeemed us, rescued us, and poured out upon us and in us your Holy Spirit. And as if that weren't enough, you have given us your Church. You have given us godly Christian homes, godly manly elders, godly mature men and women who bear the marks of salvation and sanctification over time as they've walked with you, all to spur us on toward loving good deeds. May we seek to live in the midst of this truth, and to do so above all else, whatever the cost. Thank you for a room filled with people who desire to be these kinds of homes for their children, for a room filled with pastors who desire to preach and bring forth these kinds of communities, And for the privilege of standing before young men and young women who, in many instances are right now being completely enveloped and are resting on this three legged stool and don't even know enough to be grateful yet, Would you use this for your glory, for your honor, and for your namesake. This we pray because we believe it's in accordance with the will and the nature and the authority of Jesus, who is the Christ, and all God's people said on. There for more messages, articles and videos on the subject of conforming the church and the family to the Word of God, and for more information about the National Center for Family Integrated Churches, where you can search our online network to find family integrated churches in your area. Log onto our website and c FicT Archi