The Permanence View of Marriage

Well, as we continue in the Sermon on the Mount, come to Chapter five, verse thirty one, Verses thirty one and thirty two. We looked on last week at this issue of adultery, the question of adultery, and if you remember, as we examine the issue of adultery, we recognize the same pattern that Jesus continues throughout these six antitheses. After he's given us the sort of key to understanding the law of God in light of the Kingdom, he gives us these six antitheses so we can see what that looks like and how it works itself out. We saw as it related to murder, then we saw as it related to adultery, this pattern that Jesus said, you've heard this, but I say this. In other words, he's speaking to two groups of individuals. On the one hand, he's speaking to those individuals who are without the law, of course, those individuals who are disobedient to the law, of course, calling them to God's law which is perfect, which is timeless, which is applicable, although it is insufficient to say. But he is also speaking to those individuals who are keeping the law and who believe that it is their keeping of the law. In and of itself that justifies them before God. And he says, it is as wrong to keep the law, believing that that will justify you as it is wrong to not keep the law. Therefore, this statement, again and again and again, you've heard it said. But I say to you, well, here we continue with the seventh commandment. This commandment related to adultery. And we learned on last week that not only do we see adultery there in or the seventh Commandment. Rather, when we look at adultery, we also see the tenth commandment coveting your neighbor's wife, and we also see a violation of the first commandment, because ultimately this is an act of idolatry. The second or the third antithesis is inexorably linked to the second. Jesus is actually continuing his discussion of the issue of adultery with this antithesis, just like he was on the last, but he brings into it a completely different issue, and that is the issue of divorce and remarriage. He's a statement I want to start with from a book, Divorce and Remarriage A Permanent View. Listen to this statement by the authors Divorce and Wrongful Marriage are forgivable sins. We want to start here at the heart of our faith in Christ. When Jesus died, he did not fail to atone for the misdeeds of his people in this critical area. Even the person who has acted as wrongly as possible in this matter may be fully forgiven and may have a fulfilled life of service to God after repentance. Also, God mercifully blesses many second marriages that begin sinfully. This is a mystery for which we can all be extremely grateful. I think it's important that we start right there. Oftentimes we talk about divorce within the context of the church almost like we do leprosy, you know, as though divorced people need to you know, walk around, you know, holding out their hand and saying unclean, unclean. That's actually not the case, especially when you understand it in the context of what Jesus is teaching here in the Sermon on the Mount. The goal here for Christ was not to condemn individuals who had experienced divorce and or remarriage. His goal was to make a statement about marriage itself, in spite of the way it's often viewed culturally. Let me say also that as we look at this issue. We're looking at it from a permanence view. I'll explain more about the permanent's view as we go along, but just know that the overwhelming majority of people in modern American Christian circles do not hold to the permanent's view that we hold. Here's our test It was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immrality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew five thirty one and thirty two. There's the statement, the shortest of all these antitheses. It's very concise and to the point. You've heard it said referring to what referring to the Old Testament law. But here's what's interesting. Before we've kind of referred to the sixth the sixth Commandment, you've heard it said you shall not murder. Then we refer to the seventh Commandment. You've heard it said you shall not commit adultery. Here we sort of go indirectly, and we're not in the ten Commandments. We're actually in the case law. So Jesus is actually referring here to the case law, not necessarily directly to the commandments. This is related to the seventh commandment, you shall not commit adultery. But Jesus here makes a direct link to the case law in Deuteronomy chapter twenty four. What is he referring to. I'm glad you asked here. It is Deuteronomy chapter twenty four, verses one through four. When a man takes a wife and marries her. If then she finds no favor in his eyes, because he has found some indecency in her, and that's the critical phrase there, indecency in her. A lot of disagreement about what that meant, even in Jesus day. And he writes her a certificate, certificate of divorce, and puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house. And if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away. May not take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance. That's the case law in Deuteronomy twenty four to which Jesus is referring when he makes his statement here in Matthew chapter fives. And it's parallels that we shall also look at, also his statement in Matthew chapter nineteen, which we shall also look yah momentarily. But this is the case law in question. Remember, the case law in Leviticus and in Deuteronomy is basically an outworking of God's moral law. There are also issues there of God's ceremonial law, but it's an outworking of those laws. How do we apply the law of God to these particular situations? And this is case law applying the law of God to the particular situation of the worse and remarriage. Now, there are two schools of thought during Jesus's day. Now this is more important for us when we get to Matthew chapter nineteen, because he's being questioned directly by the Pharisees. But there are two schools of thought. There is the school of Shamai and the school of Hellal. Shamai and his followers interpreted the expression some indecency in her to refer to gross indecency, though not necessarily adultery. So this was the more conservative school of thought. They believe that the woman had to be guilty of some gross indecency, some gross immorality in order for Deuteronomy chapter twenty four to be applied. Heilleal was a little more, shall we say, generous in his interpretation of Deuteronomy twenty four. He extended the meaning of some kind of indecency beyond sin, to all kinds of real or imagined offenses, including an improperly cooked meal. Well, well, I guess you could say that was a bit of a broader interpretation of the case law there. So these are the schools of thought that predominate in Jesus' day, the Shamai school in the Hillel school. Again, this will come into play more directly when we look at the parallel in Matthew nineteen on this issue, because there he's being questioned directly by the Pharisees. Remember these principles of the bear in mind We've talked about these already. But as we go through these antitheses and the Sermon on the Mount, Remember, if we're going to understand what Jesus is teaching and the Sermon on the Mount, the Law of God is perfect, timeless, and relevant, yet insufficient for our salvation. That's the first principle that we hold on to as we interpret every one of these antitheses. Secondly, Jesus is our key to interpreting the Old Testament in light of the Kingdom. He's our key to interpreting the Old Testament in light of the Kingdom. Remember, we were asking ourselves, what do we do with these Old Testament laws? How do we apply these Old Testament laws? How do we obey these Old Testament laws? Again, not in order that we might be justified, but in order that we might walk in the righteousness to which we have been called. How do we do that? How do we interpret that? There's difficulty there? Here in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gives us the key to understanding and interpreting the Law of God and light of the Kingdom. Finally, our righteousness must exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees that principle as well here in the Sermon on the Mount, our righteousness must exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees. And we'll say this again because it bears mentioning. Again, we hear that word Pharisee, and our automatic knee jerk reaction is these are rotten, stinky, nasty people. They're just they're hypocrites, They're everything realized to the original hearers. When they hear Jesus say, your righteousness must exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees, they hear him saying, your righteousness must exceed the righteousness of the most righteous people you or any of your friends. No, because the Pharisees were understood to be the most righteous lawkeepers in all of Israel, period bar none. By the way, it doesn't make sense otherwise, does it. If the Pharisees are these just sort of rotten, nasty people, and Jesus says, your righteousness needs to exceed the righteousness of those rotten, nasty people that we all know are not righteous, what sense does that make? It makes no sense at all if we look at Phariseeism through our contemporary lenses. Only when we look at Phariseeism through the lens of the original hearers, do we understand the magnitude and significance of the statement that Jesus just made. He basically says, think about the most righteous people you can imagine, and the righteousness to what you are being called in this Sermon on the Mount must exceed their righteousness. But Jesus, they have six hundred and thirteen laws that they strive to keep every day. I know they do. Your righteousness must exceed theirs, Jesus. They've got a law for everything I know they do. But your righteousness must exceed theirs. Jesus, they have laws to protect them from laws I know. But your righteousness, if you're going to be a kingdom citizen, must exceed theirs. And through these antitheses, Jesus goes on to make it clear that what he's calling us to is not a lifestyle that says they have six hundred and thirteen laws, will have six hundred and fourteen laws. Now he's talking about the righteousness of the inner man that only comes as a result of being a citizen of the kingdom. So major divorce and remarriage camps here are the major views. One the permanent's view, no divorce, no remarriage under any circumstances. No divorce, no remarriage under any circumstances. Second, the semi permanent's view allows for divorce but doesn't allow for remarriage, allows for divorce but doesn't allow for remarriage. And then there is the permissive view, allows for divorce and allows for remarriage. These are the three basic views. Okay, there are nuances within each of these views, but these are the three basic views. When it comes to the issue of divorce and remarriage within the church. Either one of these views, the permanent's view, the semi permanent view, or the permissive view. No divorce, no remarriage allowed. Semi permanence, you may divorce, but you may not remarry. Permissive view, you may divorce and you may remarry. By the way, if you think this is sort of clear cut, look at this list of individuals. On the permissive side, you have guys like John MacArthur, John Frame, Andreas, Costa Murger, d A. Carson. How about on the permanent's view, well, Dwhite, Pentecost, James Montgomery, Boyce, Abel Isaacson, John Piper. This is so again, can we stand here and argue that there are certain people who just don't handle the scripture as well, and therefore they have this view. There's other people who just no, no, not at all, not at all. So we're not arguing that we have a corner on the market here. We're not arguing that, you know, we break fellowship with individuals who don't hold to the Permanent's view. That's not our position at all. In fact, you know, we use Andres Costenberger's book, God, Marriage and Family for our course on Biblical manhood, womanhood marriage. We love Costenberger's book. It is wonderful, even though he holds a different view on the issue of divorce and remarriage than we do. It's not a deal breaker. Doesn't mean that we can't have fellowship with him. It's not a deal breaker. Doesn't mean that people can't be members of this church. There are members of this church who have experienced divorce and remarriage. Okay, So our position is not our way or the high way, our way, or you're not right with God. It's not our position. Our understanding of the Permanent's view. Will share with you how it's derived and why it's the position to which we hold. But we don't argue that everybody else is hot in the weeds. Okay, but we have to have a position here. Permissive views one clause comissive view. This is within thults who say you can have divorce and remarriage. There are those individuals who say, yes, you can have divorce and remarriage in the case of adultery. Only in the case of adultery, only, not in the case of abandonment, and not for anything else. It's two clause view. You may divorce and remarry in the case of adultery and in the case of abandonment of a believing spouse by an unbelieving spouse. Okay, abandonment of a believing spouse by an unbelieving spouse. They find that, for example, in First Corinthians, chapter seven. Okay, So they argue that you can divorce and remarry if the reason for the divorce was the abandonment of a believing spouse by an unbelieving spouse. Finally, the liberal view divorce and remarriage for adultry, for abandonment, and for just about anything else as well. Okay, And here's what people often argue. They often argue that you know you permanence views, guys, your permanence view guys have difficulty from a pastoral perspective, because I mean, it's difficult to have a position that says you don't allow for divorce and remarriage under any circumstances. I mean, you're gonna have people who you know are in bad situations and you're gonna say no, they can't get divorced. You're gonna have people who are divorced because they were in bad situations and you're gonna say no, you can't get remarried. But here's what I want you to understand. There's difficulty regardless of what your position is. Most of the church, and i'm speaking conservatives here, especially those who are conservative reform kind of in our camp. Most of those people who have a one clause or two cost position, they still have difficulty here because they say you can only divorce and only remarry for adultery that must be the cause of it, or only when a believing spouse is abandoned by an unbelieving spouse. They still have difficulties. And there's still people who they have to look in the eye and say no, you may not divorce. And there are still people who may have to look into the eye in the eye and say no, you may not remarry. Can I give you a few examples abandonment by a believer. If you're a two cross person, you cannot authorize a divorce. If the abandonment was by a believer, that's not what description teaches. Even if you hold that position, that's abuse to cost people who disagree with us. There's a person who's in an abusive marriage. That is not biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. Neglect, he's neglecting me. That's not biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. Incompatibility not biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. Fiscal irresponsibility. He spent all of our money where broke. We have nothing. Every time he gets his hands on our money, he's off to the track and he loses it all. That's not a biblical grounds for divorce, even if you don't hold to our position. Idolatry not biblical grounds for divorce. Blasphemy not biblical grounds for divorce. Lying in deceit not biblical grounds for divorce. And again I'm talking about people who hold to the one clause or the two clause position. Not just permanent folks. These are the difficulties that they run into. Refusing to have children not biblical grounds for divorce. Drunkenness or drug use not biblical grounds for divorce. Length the incarceration, husband or wife goes to jail, it's got a twenty year, fifty years sentence. I'm gonna get divorced so that they can be free to go and marry again. Small problem. That's not biblical grounds for divorce. And again I'm not talking about just our view, of course, it wouldn't be in our view. I'm talking about even if you're a two clause person. If you're seriously a two clause person and you believe only adultery and only abandonment of a believer by an unbeliever, none of these would be circumstances under which you would allow a person to divorce and or remarried. Finally, unbelief in prior marriage. For example, when this happened, I was an unbeliever. That's not biblical grounds for remarriage. Yet. Yes, I experienced divorce before, but I was an unbeliever when that happened. Now I'm in Christ, all things have passed away, All things are new not a small problem. Being an unbeliever is not a biblical grounds for divorce. Therefore, it's not biblical grounds to allow for remarriage. A lot of people have difficulty with that one, But let me explain it to you this way. Imagine if you will, that here today there's a couple, and the couple is here, and the couple is having tremendous difficulty. God's been really working on them. They come today, they're unbelievers, and they get saved. They come to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ right here today, radically saved, completely and utterly transformed. How many of you think that what we're supposed to do at that point is say, well, actually your marriage is null and void, your children are all illegitimate because you were unbelievers when you got married. Of course, we're not going to say that, why because we recognize the legitimacy of marriages, even of unconverted men and women. Therefore, the fact that someone was unconverted when they experienced a divorce is not biblical grounds for remarriage only. And again, this is not our position. This is the two class position. And my point here is those individuals are saying our position causes undue difficulty because you're gonna have so much trouble with people who are in difficult situations that you're not going to allow to divorce or people who got out of difficult situations by divorce that you're not going to allow to remarry. And I'm saying, even if we take their position the two class position aligned for divorce and remarriage only for adult and only for the abandonment of a believer by an unbeliever, all of these issues are difficulties for them and probably a thousand other circumstances that we could come up with. The only difference between the permanent's view and the permissive view as it relates to difficulty in working it out in the church is that we have two more difficulties that they don't fixing it. Thousands of possible difficulties over this issue. The only difference between the permanent's view and the permissive view is that we just have two more difficulties adultery an abandonment of an unbeliever. And for those who hold to the one clause position, who'd argue that first grindings chapter seven, And though it says a believer's not bound if an unbeliever leaves them doesn't give permission for remarriage for those individuals. We've only added one difficulty for our position, and that's adultery. My spouse committed adultery. You mean to tell me that it's more difficult to look someone in the eye and say, your spouse committed adultery. But we still got to hang in there and work through this than it is to look at someone who says, my spouse just got a hundred year sentence and is offering me a divorce so I can continue with my life. You mean to tell me it's less difficult to look that person in the eye and say, sorry, it's not biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. Now, it's difficult. It's difficult regardless of the position that you hold. But it's still a point because we don't hold one position or another because of potential pastoral difficulties. Permanent's view here the principals. Number one, the one flesh union created in marriage is permanent until death. The one flesh union created in marriage is permanent until death. Number two, Initiating a divorce is never lawful. Initiating a divorce is never lawful. Number three. Remarriage after a divorce is an active adultery if a former spouse is living. Remarriage after a divorce is an active adultery if a former spouse is living. These are the three points that mean, these are the three principles, and we'll look at these one of the time. Let's look at the first one. The one flesh union created in marriage is permanent until death. Now I think about this. Usually we go to Matthe United and look for the exception clause. But before you get to the exception clause, here's what happens. And pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking is it lawful? By the way, why are they coming up to him testing him? Because in the Sermon on the Mount, this is his third antithesis. So in Matthew chapter five, Jesus preaches his coming out sermon, and in his coming out sermon he addresses the issue of divorce and remarriage. So now the Pharisees are questioning him about a number of things that he's preached on, and he preached on this issue of divorce and remarriage. So they press him and they questioned him. But remember the first point the one flesh union created in marriage is permanent until death. It's unbreakable. Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? Is there any circumstance under which it's lawful for a man to divorce his wife? He answered, have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made the male and female and said that therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, Let not man separate. Here's what I want you to understand. We usually go here and we look for the exception clause except for sexual immorality. Now this is an exception clause. When we keep reading, we're gonna look at the next part of this passage. But here's what I want you to get, and this is what we often miss. Jesus only gives the exception clause after he's asked another question. This question is asked and answered, and there is no exception clause in it. Is it lawful for any cause for a man to divorce his wife. Jesus says, no, not under any circumstance. No, unequivocal. No, they two are one flesh. You can undo that. It's like trying to separate a man from his heart. You can't do it. No, The question is asked and answered, there is no exception. Now I know, I know, and we'll belave me. And if you keep reading, there's the exception clause. Yes, but it's after another question. Don't miss this point. They ask him a question, he answers the question. He's finished answering the question, they ask him another question, and we get an exception clause. Okay, and we're gonna deal with the issue of the exception clause at a moment. Mark Chapter ten, verse nine. What therefore, God has joined together, Let not man separate. God joins individuals together in marriage. Man cannot unjoin what God has joined. Okay. The one flesh union created in marriage is permanent until death. By the way, that's why in our vows, what do we say? And here, if I weren't a permanent view God, I'd have to find a way to change wedding vows. Because the wedding vows are permanent view vowels for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, for better or worse. Let me ask you something is adult, thy, better or worse. It's worse, and it's covered in the marriage vow forsaking all others until when until my partner doesn't do this, No, until we are parted by death. That's the marriage vow. Folks, here's what's interesting. Antithesis that Jesus addresses and the sermon on the Mount is vows oaths. Isn't that interesting? Right after this he goes to the issue of oaths and vows and breaking oaths and breaking vows. We enter into marriage through oaths and vowels, and the oaths and vowels that we take are permanence oaths and vows, we say, only separated by death, forsaking all others, forever and ever, until one of us is no longer alive. Next, initiating a divorce is never lawful. Initiating a divorce is never lawful. But when he continues, they said to him, why then, remember this is the next question. Okay, Jesus, They asked him a question. He answered it. They go, okay, fine, you've got a problem with the case. Law. Why then, did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? He said to them, because of your hardness of hearts, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. Now here's what's interesting. He says, you're reading the case law wrong. They say, why did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce? Did Moses command Israel to give certificates of divorce? No, he says, when a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes, And because he found no favorite or inefficiency in her and writes her certificate, did he just make a command? The case law in Deuterimy Chapter twenty four is not about writing certificates of divorce. It's about remarriage. Moses assume us the issue of the certificates, because that's something that was already happening in Israel. He's not writing about the certificate of divorce. He's writing about the issue of remarriage. He's saying, you've sent your life away. The marriage that she entered into was adulteress. She gets out of that one, you can't marry her again. Moses is making a statement of our remarriage, not making the statement about divorce in Deuteronomy, chapter twenty four. That's not what the case law is covering. It's not covering the issue of divorce. It's covering the issue of remarriage. He's addressing the divorces that are now rampant among the people, and he's actually putting restrictions on the practice. Pharisees say, why did Moses command us to give up? But Jesus says, no, no, no, no. Moses didn't not commands you to give her certificate of divorce because of the hardness of your hearts. He allowed that stuff to continue. But he addressed the issue of remarriage. And I say to you, whoever the divorces his wife, then there's the exception clause causes her to commit adultery. By the way, that's what Moses says, you caused her to commit adultery. Moses is not saying that it's lawful for you to divorce your wife. The Bible has never said that it's lawful for you to divorce your wife. Not one place in all of the Bible Old Testament, New Testament does it say that it's lawful for you to divorce your wife. One sevent ten through eleven to the married. I give this charge, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. Those are the only and the husband should not divorce his wife. Don't get divorced. What the Bible teaches. Don't get divorced. It is never lawful to pursue a divorce Verse nfteen seven twelve through fifteen to the rest, I say I, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. Don't get divorced. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. Don't get divorced for the unbelieving. The husband has made holy because of the wife, and the unbelieving wife has made holy because of her husband. Otherwise her children would be unclean. But as it is, they are holy, but if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called us to peace. It is never lawful to pursue a divorce. Never so, this one flesh union creating marriage is permanent until death, and initiating a divorce is never lawful. Thirdly, remarriage after a divorce is an act of adultery if a former spouse is living in the Romans Chapter seven, verses two through three. And I want you to notice too, and none of these phrases, and none of these passages do we have anything resembling an exception clause only a matthew. Do we have these exception clauses. That's important to hold on to. Romans Chapter seven, verses two and three. For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adultress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive, but if her husband dies, she is free from the law. And if she marries another man, and she is not an adulteress only death. If there is remarriage under any circumstance while the previous spouse spouses alive, it is an act of adultery. And notice that he always says it's an act of adultery because some people believe that it's perpetual adultery. Forever. We'll get to that momentarily, Mark ten, ten through twelve. And in the house, the disciples asked him again about this matter, and he said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. Notice no exception clause. Everyone who does this commits that, no exception. Whoever does this commits that, no exception. Luke sixteen. The other pairent l Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. And he who marries a woman and divorced from her husband commits adultery. Again everyone, and then our passage today, it was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate a divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, there's the accepting clause, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Here's what I want you to see from the Matthew five passage. I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, then there's excepting clause except on the grounds of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. What's this a statement about. If you're not divorcing her on those grounds, she made herself commit adultery. In other words, if she's committed this act, she's made herself an adultress. You haven't made her an adulteress. But if you divorce her for some other reason, you've made her an adulteress when she goes and remarries. Whoever marries an divorced woman. Notice there's no exception clause here. Whoever marries a divorced woman. He doesn't say, unless her divorce was a lawful one. You notice that Jesus doesn't say that there's no exception clause for the marriage to a divorced woman none. Whoever marries a divorced woman for any reason, under any circumstance, Again, as long as her previous fouse is still alive, it is an act of adultery. There is no exception clause on this one, which again raises questions about the exception clause on the first one. Let's look at the exception clause number one. It's found only in Matthew's Gospel Matthew chapter five and Matthew Chapter nineteen. Everywhere else the statement about divorce and remarriage is unequivocal. There are no exceptions. Only here in Matthew chapter five and in Matthew chapter nineteen. Do you have this clause except for the cause of sexual limorality. Most difficult passage on divorce and remarriage to interpret. There are seven different interpretations offered by commentators and scholars on the issue of the exception clause and what the exception clause refers to. By the way, five out of those seven don't allow for remarriage. Matthew used the term sexual imorality or pernia instead of the word for Adulphrey mor Kia. This is very important. Those people who believe that divorce and remarriage is lawful, they argue that it's lawful in the case of adultery, but that's not the word that Matthew uses. That's why all the interpreters say sexual immorality, unchastity, fornication. Because the word that he uses is not the word for adultery, It's not the same term. Why doesn't he use the same term anyone who divorces his wife unless it's for the cause of adultery causes her to commit adultery. Doesn't it make sense if adultery is the cause that would allow you to divorce and remarry, that he would use the word for adultery and not the broader term pornia parnia is associated with Jewish betrothal law, not consummated marriage. The term that he uses there is a term used to refer to breaking a betrothal, not to breaking a consummated marriage. Now you and I know nothing of this because we know nothing of betrothal. We even if we use the word betrothal, we use the word to refer to people who are actually engaged to be married. But let's say break off the engagement, it's no big deal. In Jewish culture, first century Jewish culture, the betrothal was actually a covenant. It was a legal binding document, and in order for you to get out of the betrothal and not follow through with the marriage, you actually had to go before the authorities and demonstrate that there is proper reason for you not to follow through with your marriage contract. By the way, what would those reasons be. Those reasons would be things like, we're too closely related, we just found that out. She's guilty of adultery, she's guilty of, you know, fornications, she's guilty of. It would be the Vidicans eighteen stuff, sexual immorality. So this word pornia that he chooses to use here is a word directly related to the issue of breaking a betrothal. Now here's what's interesting. Matthew's the only one who has the exception clause. He's the only one who uses pornia as a reason that someone can put away a wife. He's also the gospel writer who wrote to a Jewish audience who would have known about the pornia clause. And he's the only one who mentions the fact that Joseph was going to put Mary away for what pornia. Joseph would have to have gotten a legal document in order to divorce Mary during their betrothal period because she was found to be with child. Matthew's the only one who mentions that speaking to his Jewish audience, and he's the only one who mentions the exception clause. Nobody else mentions it. Nobody else mentions it. I mean, if it's the crucial key to unlocking why a person could be allowed to divorce and remarry, don't you think that Mark would have mentioned it, that Luke would have mentioned it, that Paul would have mentioned it either in one Corinthian seven or in Romans chapter seven. But there is no mention of it anywhere else in the New Testament where divorce and remarriage is spoken of, not once, and even in the places where Matthew uses it, it's only in the first half of the statement and not the second. Again, the one flesh union created in marriage is permanent until death. Initiating a divorce is never lawful. Remarriage after a divorce is an act of adultery if a former spouse is living. We did this with the other passages, stood with this one. Think about divorce and remarriage in the context of the Biblical purposes for marriage, procreation, sanctification, illustration. Remember those are the three purposes that God gave us marriage. Think about divorce and remarriage from the standpoint of procreation. Well Malachi chapter two, where God says he hates divorce. He connects it directly to the issue of procreation. You've been faithless with the wife of your youth, and what was God? What was God seeking? He was seeking godly offspring, procreation. God hates divorce for, among other things, interfering with the procreative purpose of marriage. Second sanctification fresh Mintieus chapter seven. We see that God gives us marriage for the purpose of sanctification, specifically, that the desires that we have for physical intimacy can be fulfilled within the context of a God ordained covenant marriage. The problem with divorce and remarriage is that it inevitably violates the sanctification purpose for marriage itself, because doing so is an act of adultery and finally, illustration. Marriage is an illustration of the relationship between Christ and his church. Divorce and remarriage is a perversion of the picture of the relationship between Jesus and his bride, whom he died for and would never ever, ever divorce under any circumstance. It is unthinkable that Christ would divorce the bride for whom he died. Our marriages are living, breathing illustrations of the relationship with between Christ and his church, it is unthinkable that in that context God would allow for divorce. Remember this also, Jesus says, your righteousness must exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees. Okay, to Sales School, you can divorce with anything. She cooks the meal wrong. But look at this one. SHAMAI and his followers interpret you'd only twenty four to refer to gross indecency, though not necessarily adultery. So here's basically what Jesus is saying. If we buy the exception clause not being not referring to the betrothal period but referring to actual marriage itself, Jesus says, your righteousness must exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees. But what about in the issue of divorce and remarriage. Well, the Pharisees say, you can divorce and remarry for gross immorality, But I say to you the same thing. Huh Yeah. If we interpret the exception clause as meaning that divorce and remarriage are allowable in circumstances of adultery, then basically Jesus has just said. You've heard it said, But I say to you exactly what the pharisees say, I've just told you that your righteousness has to exceed their righteousness. But on this one they're right. You don't have to do any better than they do. Makes no sense whatsoever in the context of a sermon on the Mount. Pastoral implications Number one, we will always encourage you to stay married. Your elders here will always encourage you to stay married. In fact, when people come talking about the possibility of leaving their marriage, and they want to come and give all the reasons why, you just might as well keep them to yourself, because there's nothing you could say that would bring us to a place where we would encourage you to get a divorce. Nothing, nothing. We will always encourage you to stay married, to keep your vows. Secondly, we will always walk with you through difficult marriage situations with a view toward repentance and reconciliation. Always with a view toward repentance and reconciliation. Here's the other thing. Just think about this for a moment. We hold to the exception clause and we say that God allows for divorce and remarriage in the case of adultery. Now there are two people in the church, two couples in the church. Couple number one comes and says, there's been adultery in our marriage. Pastor, we need you to walk with us. We need you to pray with us. We need you to help us as we go through the healing process and as God restores our marriage after this devastating experience of divorce. Other couple comes and says, hey, there's been divorce. We're checking out because we found a loophole in Matthew chapter five and Matthew chapter nineteen. We're done. You mean to tell me that we believe those two things are equally righteous because of a loophole there was adultery. Says it right there. I can check out. Because of that, I'm gone, and I'm completely righteous in being gone, because the loophole is right there in the text. You can't get there from here, folks, You can't get that from here. No, the picture we will always call you to paint is the picture of reconciliation, the picture of repentance. We will not perform wedding ceremonies for those seeking the second marriage while the first scouse is living. We're just we can't do it. We can't do it. Go be reconciled. That's our only counsel. Go be reconciled. Well, I don't want to be reconciled. Well, okay, but go be reconciled. But I don't feel like being reconciled. Go be reconciled, sir, Go love your wife. No, I'm not gonna go love my wife. I've divorced my wife. So what the Bible commands you to love your wife? Go love your wife because you've been commanded to. Well, I don't even get She's not my wife anymore. I've divorced her. Well, fine, love your neighbor as yourself. Go over because she's your neighbor. She's not my neighbor anymore. I divorced her. She lives in a whole nother state. Okay, we'll find. The Bible says that by this all men will know that you're my disciples, that you have loved one for another. Go love her because she's your sister in Christ. Well, I don't even think she's saying. Fine, the Bible says, love your enemies. Whichever reason you need, go love her. Go love her. She's already married to somebody else. Then spend the rest of your life keeping your vow to her even though she's gone and done that, and carry with you for the rest of your days if necessary, the testimony of having kept your vow even though she left you and went and married another honor Christ. With that, well, it's easy for you to say, I'm forty years old, been married for twenty years, you know nothing about being alone, you know what. There's truth in that. But I would hope two things. Number One, that we would not endeavor to say that only those who have experienced certain sins have the moral authority to speak to them. Or two, Pastors can't call people to hard things unless they've experienced the exact same hard things. Is that a hard thing? Yes, it is a hard thing. Is it fair? No way, no, how, But it is a beautiful illustration over the relationship that Christ has with his bride, and that's what we're called to. Does this mean that we ask people to stay in a situation and be beaten and brutalized and have their money spent recklessly in all? No, not at all, not at all. We believe part of our pastoral responsibility in the midst of a situation like that would be to protect a person who was being abused. But we still couldn't advise them to get a divorce because those are not biblical grounds. And that's whether we had a permanent view or not. We will fight for every marriage no matter what. Well, here's what this does not mean. This does not mean that divorce and remarried people are committing new acts of adultery with every instance of marital intimacy. This does not mean that the Bible clearly says that to do this, the act of divorcing and then the act of remarrying is an act of adultery. What we don't see in any of those passages is that every act of intimacy thereafter is another fresh, new guilt ladened act of adultery. No, it's not what the Bible teaches, it's not what we teach. This does not mean that divorced and remarried people are guilty of perpetual polygamy or polyandry. Does not mean that polygamy a man with multiple wives, polyandry a woman with multiple husbands. Interesting in John chapter four, woman, where is your husband? Well, I don't have a husband, you've said, Well, because you currently have five husbands, because you've been divorced and remarried and you're still married to all of it. No, Jesus says you have had five husbands. He does not say she's guilty of polyandry, of multiple continual marriages. He doesn't say that. This does not mean that divorce and remarried people should divorce their current spouse and return to their previous one. Some people teach this, your divorce and your marriage was an active adultery. Well, you need to get divorced. No. No, you don't recommit a sin in order to demonstrate your repentance for the first time you did it. Amen, Now you know most important thing. Divorced and remarried people can do. Grab a hold of the permanent view and don't let go confess your sin for what happened before. But look your spouse in the eye and say, I know my previous track record. It says to you that I'll leave you if you don't live up to what I consider. You're into the bargain. But I don't believe that it was wrong when I did it before. It would be wrong if I did it now. I will not, under any circumstances do that again. It is unpermissible. I do not believe in it. Homicide, maybe divorce never. And again, I really believe oftentimes divorced and remarry people when they hear a message like this, if they don't persist and they don't press through, all you leave with is just sort of guilt and condemnation, and you know all these other sorts of things. We miss the point. If divorced and remarry people try to hold on desperately to their righteousness in spite of what happened to them previously, what they're saying to their current spouse is, under the right situations, i'd leave you too. I was completely just in what I did, and if you put me in the same situation, I'm out of here. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. Don't say that to your current spiles. Say to them it was sinful when it happened before. I am broken over and crushed over my sin. And because I recognized that it was wrong and that it was sin hear me what I say to you. Never, under any circumstances will I violate my oath and my vow to you. I meant what I said when I said till death do us part. Finally, this does not mean that divorced and remarried people are second class citizens in the Kingdom of God. They are not. And this is one thing that saddens me about the way people view our position on the issue of divorce and remarriage. Oh well, then you think the world and remarried people or second class citizens. Absolutely not, because here's the other thing. Remember, between us and a two class person who believes it's okay for adultery and it's okay for abandonment of a believing spots by a unelieving spalas, the only difference between us is two circumstances. Out of the thousands of possible circumstances, there are two under which there's different and you ening me, those two make us evil. People who think that all divorced people are second class citizens. Come on, now, come on, that's not the case. Let me say this to you. We end where we began divorce and remarriage. It's not a sin that Jesus forgot to pay for on the cross Amen, it's not. It's not the end of the world for the individual who's experienced it. Hear this also, Just because it's not the end of the world for the individual who's experienced it, doesn't mean that we can have this attitude well since it's forgivable, and I'm really unhappy, but you go ahead and do it, and then I'll be for m M. Don't you mess with God like that? Don't you dare mess with God like that because you know better. You mean, you're gonna sit there and know that it's sin and presume upon the grace of God and do it just because you know it. It's like one of your kids coming in your face saying, hey, you know what. I know that you're against me having the keys to the car right now, but I also know that you are my father and you have to forgive me so because I want the car real bad right now, even though you've said no, I'm getting ready to go out here and get it. You just sit here and when I get back, we'll make this all right. Don't you dare presume upon God's grace like that? When it comes to marriage, we're in it to win it. Amen. Those of you who know me, you know that just about every place I go when I talk about this issue of marriage and divorce and remarriage, I always say this phrase that my kids get sick of hearing. And I'm so happy that they get sick of hearing it. That means I'm almost saying it enough. I tell my wife all the time. If you leave me, I'm going with you. It's not an option. People. Here's the other thing that you need to understand. Marriage is not difficult because of the person you happen to be married too. Let me let you in on a little secret. You're the problem. I can't say a man. You want to say, Ops, you're the problem. Yeah, well you don't know my spouse, so you're the problem. You are, Well, yeah they have problems too, Yeah they do, but that's irrelevance. You're the problem. And if you leave this marriage and go and get into another one, guess what you take with you, You who happened to be the problem. There's not some green pasture out there called a marriage beyond difficulty and without conflict. If you could be a fly on the wall in every home in this church, you would discover things in every home represented in this church that, at one moment or another, apart from the grace of God, could lead to Splitsville. And if you've never gotten that frustrated in marriage, you're not doing it right. That's what happens when two broken, sinful creatures come together and say, I do there's a synergy there, and we multiply our brokenness and multiply our sinfulness. But here's the good news, there's also a synergy wherein we multiply our ability to overcome by the grace of God that abides within us. Now. Instead of one broken sinful individual who's walking out this Christian life with the power that raised Christ from the dead and me, there is another broken sinful individual with the power that raised Christ from the dead in them as well. And God has made the two into one. And He's given us the unbelievable privilege of representing before a lost and hurting and dying world, this relationship between Jesus Christ and his Church, and it is awesome in the true sense of the word. We are absolutely not up to the job, but praise God, he is able. And here's what I want you to see. Am I most like Christ when my bride is meeting all of my needs and satisfying all of my desires and I am really not having to do much sacrificing or enduring at all? Or am I more like Christ on the hard days when I'm having to dig deep. Those are the days when I realize how utterly dependent I am on the power of Christ to do and be what He's called me to do and be, Especially when I realize that the overwhelming majority of the times what I'm having difficulty with my own failures bearing fruit. Amen, somebody, hang in there by the power of Christ. Hang in there. After all, I believe every last one of us, when it comes to our children, are a lot more prone to sit down and talk to them about the permanent view when we talk to them about their marriage. None of us sits there and goes hey, but then work out you can always just go do it again. It's not our attitude, nor should it be. Those of us who have experienced the pain of divorce and remarriage embrace the grace of God and his forgiveness and the wholeness that he brings. Those of us who have not experienced the pain of divorce and remarriage. Don't think so highly of yourself just because you haven't followed through on what you've wanted on a number of occasions. We are no better. We've just been spared, and it's the grace of God that has spared us.