The importance of Biblically Preparing for Marriage

His wife, Bridgid, have been married since nineteen eighty nine. They have six children, all of whom we are delighted to have with us. And they are Jasmine, Trey, Elijah, Asher, Judah, and Micah. And we are you adopted another seven? And what is the new one's name? Praise the Lord. We are delighted. As a matter of fact, one of the subjects Vote is going to be speaking on is the subject of adoption. So we are glad to have all seven of the tribe of Balcom here. The Bacams are committed home educators. I'm sure everyone here knows that. And we are humble that he would agree to come to our small congregation and spend the next few days with us. Brother Vote, would you please come and preach the word of God to us? Wonderful? What do you want? Okay? Okay, While they're fixing that, let me just say that I am indeed grateful for the opportunity to be here. If I I will say I I took a gamble in in preparing to come. As you know, we're on our way to vacation, so we leave from here going to vacation, and I thought, you know, we're having the conference for a couple of days. It's gonna be during the day. I doubt if anybody would be wearing a suit. So I come today and I see you on the monitor and you have your suit on, and and uh and and I don't and I won't accept the Lord's day. So if that offends anybody, I'm not sorry. Uh No, I do not mean it at all as a disrespect. I just I took a gamble and I couldn't bring everything, and uh so we'll be more casual during the day. We're working on all right, we're trying to get things plugged up here. We'll fine, we'll get started in this first session. I shouldn't work, yeah, right, if it doesn't work, okay, Yeah, we're good. Excellent, Thank you, Thank you, Joe. My assignment is to address the issue of the importance of biblically preparing for marriage. Why is it important that we prepare biblically for marriage? Is most people would assume. Here's the assumption in our culture about marriage. Marriage is not something you prepare for. Marriage is something that you happen upon If if you look at the moon these in our culture, read books in our culture, and I don't mean, just now, you can go back quite a ways and see the trend start to change in our culture over one hundred years ago, from marriage being something that we thought about soberly, something that we went into for very specific and biblical reasons, to this sort of romantic idea of something that we happen upon. And so as a result, there's been a shift. And again it's not something that happened in recent days. It's not something that happened in the fifties. This is over one hundred years old. There is a shift, and that shift is to the idea of Cupid hitting you with your arrow, you falling in love, finding the one one why, and then getting married and that love carrying you through to the end. And so that phrase and they lived happily ever at or that fairy tale idea. This is the concept that we have as it relates to marriage. So because of that, when most people think about marriage, Christian or non Christian, what they think about is that moment where God again Christian people, here's our Christian people think about it. That moment where God, not Cupid, because we don't believe in that pagan myth of cupid, but where God hits you with the lightning bolt instead of Cupid hitting you with the lightning boat, so that you know somewhere down in your gut that this is the one. It's the same concept. We've just changed the players, but it's the exact same concept. And so we do not think about marriage as something that you would prepare for. In fact, in our day and age, it is actually offensive to think about marriage as something that you prepare for, because that's unromantic. And everybody knows that marriage is all about romance. That is, until you've been married for longer than a week. All the married people in the house said amen, okay. And so what this has done is a number of things, not the least of which it's caused much turmoil within marriages. For example, if we believe that marriages, that Christian marriages are about God supernaturally hitting you in the lightning bolt and letting you know that this is that one that He has for you, and then you're getting married to that one that He has for you. By the way, if let's just backtrack for a moment, Okay, there's some ideas that we have to sort of connect here. The difference between the right one and the wrong one. And this is a theological construct as well. You see, because of the ideas of romanticism, Marrying the right one means that for the next forty fifty years every day you wake up with a smile. Being married to the right one means just marital bliss constantly. Being married to the right one means you may occasionally have a hiccup where you say something perhaps not quite as kindly as you should have, but you know within seconds there is reconciliation because it's the right one. That's the picture that we have of marriage, and we just sort of hum along smoothly. Well, marriage does it work like that? So if I have that construct, when I find the right one, that's what my marriage is going to be like. Then I get married in the real world, and within a week those things that I thought were just so adorable I now find annoying. That person with whom I thought I would never disagree. I'm now perhaps in a knockdown, drag out what's my immediate thought based on that construct? It must be the wrong one. Why Because the romantic notion of marriage makes no room for the difficulties that must follow when two sinful, selfish, egocentric narcissistic people enter into a covenant relationship with one another. And so, because it makes no room for that, it has only one explanation for that, and that one explanation is this must be the wrong one. And so in our culture, what do you then do? Well, if this is the wrong one. I'm talking again. I'm talking about Christian people. We're not talking about people out there who don't know God, don't claim to know God. I'm talking about people who say that they're born again, blood washed followers of the Lord Jesus Christ. Their response then is something like this, Well, I'm unhappy. I am in a marriage that makes me unhappy. Of course, God's design and intent for me was to be with the one where I would be fulfilled and happy. He has let me know that this is not that one. I did a bad thing, married the wrong person. I need to get a divorce so that I can then go out and find the one that God intended me to be with. That's Christian people. And I'm not telling you what I've heard. I'm telling you what I've experienced as a pastor. I'm not telling you what somebody told me. I'm telling you what has made my jaw drop. I'm telling you what I've seen with my own eyes. I'm telling you what I've pleaded against, argued against, railed against personally in one on one meetings where I sit down and ask men to do you have any idea how much of the Bible God would have to change for what you just said to be accurate. I'm talking about meetings where statements like that are responded to with you know what, don't talk to me about what the Bible says. I've prayed about it, and this is what God's telling me to do, all from this faulty construct. So why is it important that we prepare biblically for marriage? We give you this statement and then we'll unpack it in the time that we have remaining. It is important to prepare biblically for marriage because marriage was designed by and for God, and therefore He will vindicate marriage from all perversion, misrepresentation, and abuse for the sake of His name and his glory. Say that again, it is important to be prepared biblically for marriage because marriage was designed by and for God, and therefore He will vindicate marriage from all perversion, misrepresentation, and abuse for the sake of His name and glory. Let me give it to you one more time because some of you haven't written it down yet, and you need too, because this is all we're talking about in this session, and really, really, when it comes down to it, it's all we're talking about all weekend. Okay, it is important to prepare biblically for marriage because marriage was designed by and for God. Therefore, He will vindicate marriage from all perversion, misrepresentation, and abuse for His name and his glory. Say so, let's look at that and unpack it. First, marriage is designed by God. Marriage is designed by God. That seems like a simple statement. It seems like a no brainer. It seems like something that just ought to be assumed. Unfortunately, it's not. Marriage was not man's idea. That's very important to note. Marriage was not man's idea. It did not originate with man. It did not come from man. It was not invented by man. Man is not the architect of marriage. God is the architect of marriage. God is the architect of marriage. Therefore, Man does not have the right or the authority to tinker with the design of marriage. Kay, follow that marriage was not man's idea. Secondly, God is actually the architect of marriage. Therefore man does not have the right or the authority, or you could add the wherewithal to tinker with the design of marriage. I I'm not the architect of marriage, and unless I understand it from God's perspective, I I don't need to go messing with it. Amen, A, it's just I. If you I, it's it's like going into y. Well, anyway, we'll talk about that momentarily. Just l let's look at this marriage before the fall, Genesis chapter two, verse eighteen. Then God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. Very important not to rush path that phrase. Okay, there's been a pattern in creation for six days. Let there be. Then there was, it was good. Let there be, Then there was, it was good. Let there be, then there was it was good. Let there be, then there was it was good. Let there be, then there was it was very good. Then all of a sudden we come to Genesis chapter two and verse eighteen. It's the first time that God says something is not good. That's important. That's very important. It's the first time God says something is not good. Now we need to understand this contextually, within the context of the overarching teaching of the Bible about marriage. When the Bible says here, when God says it is not good that the man should be alone, notice a couple of things. Notice Grammatically, he doesn't say it's not good for any man to be alone. He's talking specifically about Adam. I want you to know that this statement does not mean that every man is supposed to be married. How do I know this well? I know this number one because in one Corinthians, chapter seven, Paul talks about this supernatural, spiritual gift from God, a singleness. By the way, Jesus also speaks about it in Matthew chapter nineteen. It is a supernatural gift from God for certain individuals. They are few and far between. But it is a supernatural gift from God for certain individuals to be single. It's a calling from God to his praise and to his glory. So not every individual is called to be married. Not every individual is supposed to be married. There are some people, there are very few of them who have this gift of singleness. Now let me put a footnote here. I don't have time for this excursion, but we have to take it. Okay, here's what has happened in modern days. In modern days, as we push adulthood further and further back, as we see our children getting married later and later and later. Outside of the church, people are just being more honest about that. I'm selfish and I don't trust anybody inside the church. We're not being honest about it. And one of the ways we're not being honest about it is we're saying we're giving pious reasons. And so there is this idea that people are called to singleness for right now. That's not a biblical concept. If you had this calling and this gift, according to First Greetings chapter seven, and according to Matthew chapter nineteen, is a calling for life. It is not an excuse to put off marriage while you go do other things. In many instances, that is quite frankly tempting the Lord your God. I can't say amen, y'all say ouch okay. And so you have people, for example, whose sons or daughters are ready to be married, but they're not ready for their sons their daughters to be married. There's other things that they want them to do, and so they say no, no, no, right now, you need to go and serve the Lord because you know, according to first Freethey, Chapter seven, singleness is a great gift that you can use for ministry. So right now, you use that for ministry and push that on, pitch marriage on it into the future, so that you can use your singleness for ministry. Well, I agree that every individual who single ought to be using that to the glory in honor of God for ministry. But to tank that and intentionally extend your singleness is an abuse of the text. It's also a perversion of marriage. Because here's ultimately what we're saying to our children, specifically to our sons. Listen, son, here's what I want you to do. I want you to go, and I want you to live, and I want you to do all those important I want you to serve God with everything that you have. And then one day later on in your life, I want you to come up to a young woman, look her in the eye and say, I have sucked all the joy and meaning out of life. Now I'm ready to marry you and die. That's what we're communicating people, that's what we're communicating. You need to go do ministry now, because you certainly can't do ministry when you're married. You need to go do important things for God now, because being married is certainly not an important thing for God. You need to go and fulfill yourself and reach your dreams now, because certainly marriage cannot be a part of that. And then one day after you have profaned marriage for the sake of all the self gratifying things, then you go and give it your all. Wake up, people, wake up. I know this is Florida, but it's barely Florida. So I'm gonna go ahead and say this, okay, and you'll understand it because we're close enough to Alabama that dog won't hunt all right. But that's what Christian families are communicating to their children, that there are so many more important, vital things for you to do. Put marriage off as long as you possibly can, because it will be a hindrance to your enjoyment, to your service to God, and to your ability to have meaningful existence. And then, after communicating that for twenty twenty five thirty years, we think people ought to be able to get into marriage and give it everything they God. It's not good for the man to be alone. I'll explain this in a few moments. But what's being referred to here is not the idea of lifeliness, but the idea of a loneness as it relates to the image of God, as it relates to the purposes for which God gave us marriage. And we'll explain that momentarily. I'll make him a helper fit for him. Now, out of the ground, the Lord God formed a wife so that he wouldn't be That's what you would expect to be next, right, but it's not. Now out of the ground, the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. Why this parentheses. It's not good for the man to be alone. I'm going to make him a helper suitable for him. Okay, make him a helper suitable for him. Name the animals. Okay, wait a minute, what just happened. Well, there are a couple of possibilities. Let me give them to you. Number one, Marriage is God's idea, not However, God does give man the idea. God does give man the idea. And this is one way. Adam named the animals. Okay, fine, Adam goes about naming animals. Now, these animals don't have the problem that he has. He's naming these animals, and he sees he cats and she cats. He dogs and she dogs. He primates and she primates. Everybody's got somebody stepped Adam. There's a concept that he's introduced to, the concept of being alone and of that not being a good thing. Think about it. Adam is created by the hand of God. He has no concept of want or need whatsoever. God introduces a yearning. There's another thing that we see here though, in the naming of the animal. By the way, again, another prince is here. My formal training and much of my work and teaching everything else in the area of apologetics. And so I just can't help it. I really can't. I'm just apologetics just all the time. So I read it passes like that immediately in the back of my head. You know, there's that guy on the college campus that I've talked to a thousand times. She goes, you know, you believe that God created the earth, you believe granting the world six days? Well, yeah, I do. Well, that's not possible a lot because Adam couldn't have named all the anamals in the world and one twenty for our day. I'll talk to that guy lots and to it. I just have to respond, Okay, let me just help you really quick, all right, because that's really not an important question. But I can answer that question for you, and I'm not even gonna answer it with well, it could have been longer than twenty for our day, because I don't believe it was longer than twenty for our day. I really don't. I believe it was twenty for our day. I believe he named all the animals, but I believe he named categories of animals. He didn't have to name millions of animals because there weren't millions of animals all he would need. For example, he doesn't have to name lion and tiger and house cat. There's one representative cat with all the genetic makeup that could eventually derive or from which you could eventually derive every kind of cat. He didn't have to name the dog and the wolf and the fox. No one representative canine from which you could get because of the genetic material present in that one representative of canine, all the different types of canines. By the way, if you have a problem with that idea, then you also have a problem with the flood. Here's why. Who went on the boat shim Ham, Jayfath, Noah and their wives. How do we get all the different ethnicities of people from just shim Ham and Jafyth. Same way we got all the different types of dogs and cats from representative dogs and cats. So you got a problem with that, You got a problem with ethnicity. By the way, this is not just in the Bible. We recognize from genetic studies that all human beings were derived from a pair of human beings and share common genetics and DNA in order to prove that. So Adam was not naming every conceivable animal. He's naming categories of animals. Why is that important here? Why it's important because when he names his wife the first time, he does not name her Eve. He gives her a categorical name, because that's the kind of naming that he was doing. Now, why is this important? Because it proves male headship in marriage before the fall. When you say that again, this little naming exercise that is then carried over to Eve proves male head headship before the fall. So male headship is not a product of the fall. Male headship is part of the original creation order. That's important. Okay, that's important. He goes on. The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the heavens, into every piast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So there's that first argument. Adam didn't know anything about needing. A corresponding part. He names the animals, and derived directly from naming the animals. Is this idea that has not found one for him? So the Lord God caused the deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. So here's what we've learned so far. Number one, we've learned that the woman was made for the man. That points to male headship. It's not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. The woman was made for the man, thus male headship. Secondly, the woman was made after the man. He's there first. She's made after him, thus male headship. Thirdly, we've already seen now that the woman is made from the man, which points the male headship ward that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made him to a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, this is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Eshah, because she was taken out of h He gave her a categorical name. This is at last bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. He is now pointing back to his naming exercise earlier. She's one of me, which points to the equality of the man and the woman, and yet again points the male headship. So in the Bible before the Fall, we have male headship and complete equality, not egalitarianism. There is a difference. Egalitarianism you get no head you have complete equality, and yet male headship. Okay, the woman's made for the man, she's made after the man, she's made from the man, she's brought to the man, and she's named by the man. All of these point the male headship in the creation order. This is incredibly important. Remember we're talking about marriage being designed for God. Marriage is designed to give glory and honor to God. Marriage is designed to give glory and honor to God. And marriage is designed for God honoring purposes. Let me give you the three basic ones. The three basic ones number one pro creation, number two illustration, and number three sanctification. Procreation illustration, sanctification. These are the three basic purposes, the three overarching purposes for marriage. And again, remember why is it important for us to prepare biblically Because marriage is designed by God. It's designed for God, and God will vindicate it because it's designed by Him and for Him, so we have to understand its purposes. Let me briefly explain these three purposes. Number one procreation. We talk about procreation, we're not just talking about having children, and this is incredibly important. It's God's first command demand be fruitful and multiply. And it's almost not fair to say it that way because the command to be fruitful and multiply was not a command in the sense of, you know, we think about command. We think about you know, a marine sergeant, you know, under machine gun fire looking at a man saying go take that machine gun, nest. It's an order, you know, like a command that you usually we think about commands and being commanded to do things that we don't necessarily want to do. Amen this command be fruitful and multiply was not a command that God was giving to Adam against Adam's wills and desires. It is as though God says to him, now you have all you need. Go be fruitful, go multiply. It's permission. It's not, hey, you know, Adam, I know that you really don't want to do this, but just suck it up and go. It's not what's being said there when he says be fruitful and multiply, not at all. That is why I love the way the esv renders someone twenty seven. You know not, children are a blessing from the Lord, and blessed does a man whose quiver is filled with them? But it captures the Hebrew beautifully. But it says, and blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them, not the man who just wakes up one day and goes, well, how there's a lot of arrows in my quiver. No warrior does that. No warrior goes out to battle. Hey, man, how many arrows you got in your quiver? Really not sure? Man just kind of picked it up and I'm going to fight. No a warrior goes out to battle, how many you got? You know? All I could stuff in mind was, you know, and if I had room for one more out to put one more in there. Why because I'm going out to battle and I want to receive as many arrows as I can in order to go out to the battle. That's the idea. That's the idea presented in scripture. It involves bearing and training children. We see this, for example in if He's in sixty four and again some of these I'm just for the sake of time, I'm trying to lay foundation here. We're going to talk more depth about some of these passages. So I'm just gonna give you some of them. Okay, involves bearing and training children. That's important. It involves bearing and training children. Procreation is not just about having kids. It is connected to the dominion mandate. It's same verse. The go and exercise dominion part is right there with the be fruitful and multiplied. It's connected to one another. And so understand this. You need to go and subdue the earth. You need to go and exercise dominion over the earth. You need to go and make of the earth everything that you can make it with everything that I've given you, And be fruitful and multiplies. Part of that which assumes that when your children are born to you, will you will communicate to them the dominion mandate. Otherwise they won't know why they're here. Do you follow that? So it's not just bearing, it's training with a kingdom purpose and mindset the next generation. And it's spreading the image of God throughout the earth. That's the goal that the amagul day, that the image of God would be spread or brought throughout the earth. So when we talk about procreation, that's what we mean. Why is this important again the apologist Okay, just let him out one more time for just a second here, Because one of the arguments against homosexual marriage, for example, is that homosexual marriage and negates the possibility of procreation. Well, the homosexual crowd has sort of gotten slick and they've said, well, then do you believe that two people who are beyond childbearing years, whose spouses have died, shouldn't get married because they can no longer procreate? Procreation is not just about having children, it's about bearing, raising, training them to the glory and honor of God. So there are two answers to that question when it comes to homosexual marriage. Number One, procreation is a purpose for marriage categorically categorically, so we mean as a category people who get married are from our su sexes because categorically it's for the purpose of procreation. Secondly, procreation is about more than having children. It is about modeling for them through your marriage, raising and training them to go out and subdue the earth as they've been called to. I can be married to my life for forty years, my life dies. Another woman who's married to her husband for forty years, her husband dies. We get married, we can no longer have children, but we are still in the process of raising, training, and discipling children and grandchildren and great grandchildren to the glory of God, to the ends of the earth. Do you follow that? That's extremely important for the homosexual marriage debate, which is the debate on the horizon when it comes to marriage right now in our culture. And we got to be able to say more than just well, you know, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, and you know that one's not working anymore, not that it ever did at first. Okay, but we've got to be a little more sophisticated than that. Okay, we need to understand why this is a problem. Secondly, illustration a physical model of a spiritual relationship. We see that in Ephesians chapter five. It was read earlier this picture in Ephesians chapter five of the relationship between Christ and his church. But also remember I said, I explained more about that phrase. It's not good for the man to be alone. God creates man in his image, and the image of who the triune God, Father, son, and Holy Spirit Adam by himself is limited. But when man has issued from him wife, who has issued from them children, and that comprises the biblical nuclear family, we have an earthly representation of the triunity of God in the form of husband, wife, and child. Our God exists and has existed, will continue to exist throughout all eternity, his Father, Son, the Holy Spirit, and perfect unity. And that picture is carried forth in the human family, which is why the male in the human family, who is the head of the household is given the title father, which I want to just make us weaken. Thank thees Man, Amen, just the idea that God would call us by that title. Thirdly, sanctification sanctification. Now, when I talk about sanctification, talking about active sanctification and passive sanctification. So remember the purposes of marriage. God gives us marriage for procreation. God gives us marriage for illustration, we illustrate the image of God and the relationship between Christs and the Church. But he gives us marriage for sanctification at iification like avoiding sexual immorality and enjoying God honoring sexual relationships. We see that in One Corinthians chapter seven. Again, I romantic culture didn't like to hear that, but that's one of the purposes for which God gave us marriage. Britaran and I got married the summer between my sophomore and junior year in college. And I remember, now, non Christian people had no problem with us getting married while we were still in college, because they're like, y'all are Christians, You're weird, y'all do weird stuff? Makes sense. Christian people were up in arms that we were getting married while we were still in college because evidently we hadn't read over in second Hesitations where it says thou shalt not marry until after graduation, okay, And so here we were we were generating to get married. And now I mean that was pressure. There was pressure from Christian people for us to not get married until after graduation. Nobody could point to anything in the scriptures, you know, And I'm just going, man, when we finds a wife, he finds a good thing. I found my good thing. I'm not gonna let it get away. We got it, you know. And the one thing that just got all over people, they didn't have an answer for it, but they really didn't like it was, you know, I'm just say listen, the wisest man in the Bible, the strongest man in the Bible, and the most godly man in the Bible all fell the sexual sin. I am not wiser than Solomon, I am not stronger than Samson. I am not more godly than David. I'm getting married. And their only response to that was, well, that's just not very romantic, really, So you'd rather me tempt the Lord, my God for the sake of romance, I think not. That's one of the active sanctification roles in marriage. God has given us some natural desires. They are wonderful desires, they are beautiful, God honoring desires, but they can be abused. And marriage is a context. The fire in the fireplaced analogy. Put fire in the fireplace, it'll warm the room. You let it outside of the fireplace, it'll burn down the whole house. Amen. Sex is like that washing with the water of the word. Ephesians five twenty six. It's interesting that when you look at the man loving his wife as Christ loved the church, the picture there is clearly expressed as one of sanctifying her speaking the truth and love. Why, according to the Fijians chapter four, do we speak the truth and love that we might be built up in every aspect into Him who is the head. By the way, no mistake that that's connected to the household codes that we find in chapter five. This is the active sanctification that we see. There's also passive sanctification, and so we see actively that there are things that we do in marriage that work toward our sanctification and the sanctification of our spouse. But passively, passively marriage sanctifies us as we learn to live with another imperfect sinner. Amen. Hallelujah, Praise the Lord. It's a sanctifying word. You don't get your way, you don't get to live for you anymore. There are things in you that need to be chiseled off, and marriage is the most pop you know. Listen, there are a lot of things out there in the world that God uses to sort of chisel s. You know, sinful habits off of you, sinful desire, sinful taste, you know, the little things. And and it's like, you know, Michelangelo, y e with a piece of marble. You know there are other things in your life though, where God needs a jackhammer. Amen. Your job is like Michelangelo. Your marriage it's like a jackhammer, right. Amen. People ask me where'd you grow up? Well, I grew up some in Los Angeles, but mostly when I got married. All that it'll grow you up like nothing else in the world will. It'll sanctify you like nothing else in the world will. Kay. And that's one of the Biblical purposes. Here's the great irony. Listen to this. Let's go back to where we were earlier. The romantic view of marriage gets in the marriage and marriage is difficult, and it immediately says this must be the wrong one. The Biblical view of marriage. One of the purposes of marriage is sanctification. I get in marriage, and those difficulties are chiseling away at me, conforming me to the image of Christ. If I try to get away from that, Here's what I'm saying to God, God, you are using my marriage to break me and to conform me to the image of Christ. And because of the difficulties that I'm experiencing, I'm looking more and more like Jesus every day. You make it. Stop now, and I mean it. Do you catch that perspective? Is everything, isn't it? These hardships, I'm making me look more and more like the one who died for his bride. You stop that right now. I don't want to look that much like him. I don't want him to lay down his life for me, but I don't want to do that as I represent him in this marriage surreal culture war. Listen to this from John Calvin. Moses now relates that marriage was divinely instituted, which is especially useful to be known for since Adam did not take a wife to himself at his own will, but received her as offered and appropriated to him by God. The sanctity of marriage, hence more clearly appears because we recognize God as its author. The more Satan has endeavored to dishonor marriage, the more should we vindicate it from all reproach and abuse, that it may receive its due reverence. Amen. After the fall. Now what happens. Roles are reversed, the offenders accursed, and a redeemer is promised. This is what happens after the fall. But what you need to know is this marriage is created. Remember back to our statement, why is it important for us to prepare biblically for marriage? Marriage is created by and for God, and therefore He will vindicate marriage from all perversions, misrepresentations, and abuses for his glory and his name's sake. Which means if I enter into marriage with ideas that are perversions, misrepresentations, and abuses of marriage, God will vindicate marriage against me. So I had better know what marriage is. I had better know why marriage was designed. I had better know what my role is in marriage, otherwise I end up working against God and God will resist me. Do you see that? So what does it look like? Well, God comes to the man and to the woman. He finds that they have sinned, that they have fallen. When he begins to lay down these curses, first the serpent. The lord God said to the serpent, and here's what I want you to see. I want you to see these areas where marriage is being perverted and where it's being vindicated. By God, the Lord God said in the serpent, because you have done this curse to you above all life, thought, and above all beasts of the field. On your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life. Output enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He shall bruise your head, you shall bruise his heel. This is the proto Yuangelion, the first proclamation of the Gospel, The serpent and the seed. The serpent gets this, by the way, the serpent understands this clearly he and he immediately responds as though he understands this. That's chapter three. Where do you get the first murder? Chapter four? What is the first murder? Well, the first murder is the seed of the serpent, Cain killing the seed of the woman. Able why because God declared war and the serpent believed him and acted upon it. Now I'm not the one saying that Cain is seated the serpent. John says that one John three twelve, we should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother's righteous who was of the evil one, which is, by the way, why in the next chapter, in Genesis chapter five, we are introduced to Seth, who was born in the likeness of his father Adam, in order to let us know seed to the woman restored? Is it the ultimate seed of the woman? No, not the ultimate seed to the woman. But we get ten generations from Seth down to Noah. Why is that important? So that we know that when Noah gets on that boat with sham Ham, Jafeth and their wives, that we have a direct descendant representing that seed of the woman who has survived the flood. We are then introduced to Abraham. Abraham promised in Genesis chapter twelve to be the father of many nations, so we have the idea of the promised seed. He goes on his own. There's Ishmael, promise seed. Nope, Ishmael's gotta go. Not a seed. Thus seed Isaac. Isaac has twins, which one's promise seed the older, No, the older will serve the younger. It's Jacob. Then we go on to these twelve tribes. At the end of Genesis, we come to the Book of Exodus, and in Exodus chapter one, here's what we read, beginning of verse fifteen. Then the king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shifra and the other Puah. When you serve as midwife to the Hebrew women, and see them on the verse tool if it is a son, you shall kill him, but if it is a daughter, she shall live. What is that? It's the war between the serpent and the seed. Jeremiah, chapter thirty two. When God tells Israel that I am bringing the Chaldeans in in order to lay waste to this place, and you're going into captivity. Why is it we're beginning of verse thirty four. They set up their abominations in the house that is called by my name to defile it. They built the high places of Bale and the valley of the son of Hinem to offer up their sons and daughters to Mola. Though I did not command them, nor did it enter into my mind that they should do this abomination to cause Juda descind what are they doing? What are they doing? They are offering up the seed of the woman to a foreign God who promises them prosperity in exchange. Then we get to the new Testament. By the way in the New Testament, where do we begin. We begin with the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham, in order to do what Let you know that the promise that was made in Genesis chapter three and verse fifteen came to fruition, and the person of Jesus Christ, he is the promised seed who will crush the serpent's head. But then what happens immediately after? Then, Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all the region who were two years old and under, according to the time that he had ascertained from the wise men. Kill the seed of the woman. Kill the seed of the woman. By the way it hadn't stopped. We have a picture, for example, at the end of the Bible Revelation twelve three and four, another sign appeared in heaven. Behold a great red dragon with seven heads and ten horns, and on his head seven diadems. His tail swept down a third of the stars of heaven and cast them to the earth. And the dragons stood before the woman who was about to give birth, so that when she bore her child, he might devour it. From the beginning of the Bible to the end, there is this picture of enmity between the serpent and his seed and the woman and her seed. But then you ask, once Christ is born, doesn't the war cease. No. Here's why. Every child that comes from the womb bears the image of God and potentially potentially is a co heir with Christ upon hearing and receiving the Gospel. So the serpent still wants to destroy the seed of the woman because with every child who is born, he sees the image of God and potentially potentially of her dean son and daughter. Soon wants them destroyed. What does that look like in our culture today? Abortion? Murder, You murder somebody, You're basically killing God, an effigy, orphans, child abandonment, starvation. You know, the overwhelming majority of the victims of starvation in this world of children, homosexuality. Think about it. Talk about a coup a'ta I hate the seed of the woman. I want to destroy the seed of the woman. That's great, Let's do it through abortion. Let's take it one step further. Let's cause people to embrace relationships that negate even the possibility of child bearing, intentional childlessness, which is the next best thing. Let's get people who can have children to get married and mutilate their own bodies so that they cannot bring forth seed. Fatherlessness. Again, these are perversions of marriage. God makes marriage for his purposes, his glory, his honor. And then here's what we do. So what will God do? He will vindicate marriage. Secondly, the woman, the woman, he said, I will surely multiply your pain and child bearing and pain you shall bring forth children. Your desires should be for your husband, and he shall rule over. You're careful there. Your desires should be for your husband. Doesn't mean that that eve is going to just pine over. Adam, oh adam. No. Same phrase is used in chapter four. King sat is crouching at your at your door. It's desires for you. You must rule over it. This desire is usurpatient. This desire is usurpatient. What does that look like? Looks like feminism, looks like radical egalitarianism, and again intentional childlessness and abortion, but looks like something else. It looks like statism. You know what statism is. Statism is basically the state, saying we will reorder the fabric of society, and the state will replace the man at the head of households. It's a perversion of Matria. Finally, the Adamy said, because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree which I commanded you, you shall not eat of it. Cursed is the ground because of you and pain. You shall eat of it all the days of your life. Thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face. You shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken. For you are dust, and to dust you shall return. What does this look like? Sloth? Sloth Men who don't want to work, Men who are thirty thirty five years old and will not go out and get a job because they can't find a perfect one. By the way, what's the perfect one? The perfect one is something that they love so much that it doesn't feel like work. There's another word for that, sloth, sloth. It's a new idea. You gotta go out and find the perfect thing that will fulfill you. Go out and find what you love and do it, then it won't seem like work. No, go find something to do and love it because God gave you the privilege of doing it. Looks like a leadership vacuum. Looks like passivity, and men, by the way, talk about a perfect storm. Women who because of the fall rail against the headship of their husbands and men who because of the fall are passive looks like delayed marriage and extended childhood looks like absenteeism, and again statism. Now, these are things that from the Fall have reinterpreted and redefined marriage in ways that are complete perversions of the God ordained purpose for marriage. If we aren't aware of this, if we aren't speaking to this, if we aren't shaping the way our children think about this and the way we think about this, what do we automatically do? We automatically drift toward marriages that don't look like this God honoring relationship, but they instead look like the self gratifying relationships that are the exact opposite of what God intended the covenant of marriage to be. And God will vindicate marriage better He do it through you than against you. I don't know about you. I don't know about you. I'd rather you do it through me than against me. And even when he does it through me, he's got to do it in spite of me. Know this, and when we know this, it will forever, I believe eradicate this idea that we need to just sit by passively and wait for that magic stroke, whether it be from Cupid or whether you redefine the characters and say that it's from God, absolutely not. We need to be thinking about this from a biblical perspective and the way that it's designed to honor God, and ask ourselves how we can join God in the vindication of marriage as opposed to being part of that against which marriage needs to be vindicated. Let's pray, Father, thank you for your goodness, for your goodness expressed in your clarity. That you have not left us to wander aimlessly trying to figure things out. But you have made yourself absolutely clear. And though we fall woefully short, we recognize that sanctification is one of the purposes for which you gave us marriage. So as we fall short, you use it to sanctify us and conform us to the very image of Christ, so that even our shortcomings bring glory and honor to you as you reshape us through them. Help us to grasp these realities, help us to embrace these truths, and help us to raise a generation of young men and young women who are so immersed in them that they recognize the fraudulent portrait that the culture has painted, and instead seek earnestly after the true covenant of marriage that brings glory and honor to you, our King, our Master, our savior, and friend. This we pray in Christ's name and for his glory. Amen. Amen,