The Centrality of the Home in the evangelism and discipleship of the next

Well, good evening. It is good to be here with me this evening. If I'd had an opportunity and I was ready to come, be able to come and get right in line with the steam and do what I always try to do, which is preach what I'm asked to preach. But they didn't ask me to preach anything. They just asked me to come. So you get what I've been shipping on and what I've been living with. I hope that's alright you just if you'll allow me. I I I see my former pastor, doctor John Morgan, and his lovely wife sitting up here in the front row. And you need to know that one of the greatest periods of ministry in my life was the time that I spent as a teaching pastor at Saved My church in Houston, and much of what I am today is because of my time there. You know, there are two sides of my life. That's this one side where uh, cultural apologetics is what I live and breathe and teach and preach. And there's the other side where I'm Bridget's husband and Jasmine and Tray and Elijah's father. And by the way, we have another baby who will be here any day now. And so God's God continues to be good to us. And there is a place where these two parts of my life merge. I wanna share something with you tonight that has been sobering to me. The place where these two things merge is is here. And I I'm not real big on statistics, but I I just need to share a few things with you to paint a picture, and and I wanna do the best that I can to let you know where these things come from. Those of you who know me know that I'm it it. It just pains me to ever have any notes when I preach. I just can't do it. I just can't have any notes. But I had to have some things here so I can tell you exactly where this information comes from, where you can go and find it. What is this that we are losing a generation and we're losing that generation rapidly. For instance, depending on where you look, we're losing somewhere between seventy five and eighty eight percent of our young people by the end of their freshman year in college, somewhere between seventy five and eighty eight percent. For that loan number, you can look at Glenn Schultz's work on Kingdom Education for that high number, the two thousand and two Southern Baptist Council, and the family. So these are not things that just just made up. They're just grabbed out of the air. That's what's been happening over the last few decades. We're losing somewhere between seventy five and eighty eight percent of our young people by the end of their freshman year in college. There are a lot of you in here, and you're upset about the whole Emerging Church movement. You're upset about Brian McLaren and some of the theology that he is espousing. I don't like much of the theology that's coming out of the Emerging Church movement. But can I tell you what the impetus is behind the emerging Church movement? Twenty somethings are gone. The Emerging Church movement is saying, what do we do to recapture this age group. By the way, if you look around, you'll see that we have a generation gap in the SBC. Amen like, there is a tremendous generation gap among Southern Baptists, and it's time that we got honest about it. And part of it is because of what I'm telling you. Hold on, no, I'm not finished painting the picture in our culture. In America, for the first time, our birth rate is below replacement rate. Replacement rate is two point one children per family. We're at one point nine. Now, we're not as bad as much of the industrialized world. For example, in France, I think they're around one point five children per family. In Italy there's somewhere around one point one children per family. Now, in case you don't understand what that means, what that means is we're not having enough children for our culture to continue to survive. Our culture is dying one generation at a time. Now, let me put skin on that for you. France, they have a birthrate about one point five. However, there are North African Muslims and Arab Muslims who have immigrated into France, and we saw some unrest because of those folks. Their birth rate is about six children per family, which means in two generations France will be a Muslim nation by sheer numbers alone. Why because they want prosperity more than they want children, and it's the same for us. Now, let me put these two pieces of statistical information together at two children per family Southern Baptists, because we're no better than the rest of the culture of this our attitude toward children is a boy for me and a girl for you, and praise the Lord will finally through. Amen. It's an unwritten rule that you can only have two kids. However, there is one exception to the unwritten rule where you can have a third child, and that is if your first two children were the same sex, you get to try one more time for the other. That's the unwritten rule. We despise children in our culture. We despise children in the Southern Baptist convention. You don't believe me, Find a woman with six or seven kids and follow her into a Southern Maptist church and watch the way we mock her. Watch the way people who don't even know her come up to her and say, haven't you guys figured out how that happens yet? Then let me put these two statistics together. We lose seventy five Let's take the most optimistic number. We're losing seventy five percent by the end of their freshman year in college. We average two children per family. That means it currently takes two Christian families in this generation to get one Christian into the next. Make it even more playing. There's sixteen million Southern Baptists on paper by these numbers. Next generation four million, third generation, one million, fourth generation two hundred and fifty thousand more than numbers, now, aren't they. Oh, that's okay, we'll just replenish those numbers through evangelism. Interesting, in order to replenish those numbers through evangelism alone, what we would have to do is reach three lost people for every one Christian. Currently we only reach one lost person for every forty three Southern Baptists. Now, let me make it plain and bring it home. Chianity in America is dying, one generation at a time, one home at a time. Christianity is dying. Among the Jewish community, the same thing is happening. Two scholars, Anthony Gordon and Richard Horowitz, have done a study on what's happening in the Jewish community. And listen to what they say. The research targeted three key quantifiable elements of Jewish survival. Intermarriage rates, it's believers marrying other believers instead of non believers so that they lose the faith, birth rates, and levels of Jewish education When all these factors are tabulated and correlated, a troubling picture emerges of the future of American Jewry. Skyrocketing intermarriage rates, declining birth rates, and inadequate Jewish education continue to decimate the American Jewish people. We're right behind them. There was a front page article in the Wall Street Journal, yes, about Zoroastrians and India. Now, what does Zoroastrians in India have to do with anything? I'll tell you. Here's what they were saying in the article. Foot page article on the Wall Street Journal. Because of low birth rates and because people are getting married later and having fewer children than ever before, the Zoroastrian religion is about to be wiped off the face of the planet simply because they're not having kids and retaining the kids that they have. Are you smelling one of Steven Air? What has been our answer? Here's been our answer. Our answer has been to divorce ourselves from the issue and hire youth pastors to make it better. They can't say amen, you have to say ouch. That's been our answer. By the way, having read and his book Raising the Bar makes this up. Over the last thirty years, we have seen the largest increase in the number of professional youth ministers, youth ministry degrees being handed out, and parachurch organizations designed to reach youth, and we have seen the greatest decline in youth baptisms ever. Let me make this statement and then i'll back it up while you open your bibles. Through Ephesians chapter six, let me make this statement. Our current approach to youth ministry. Number one is unbiblical. Number two is antithetical to what the Biblical model is for the evangelization and discipleship of young people. And number three it doesn't work. Let me recap number one. Our current approach is unbiblical. I'm gonna show you that number two, our current approach is actually empathetical to the biblical model. It's one thing for something to not be found in the scripture, it's another thing for something to actually work against what is clearly found in the scripture. And number three, which shouldn't be surprising at all, it doesn't work. Or do I need to say it again? Seventy five to eighty eight percent is our current failure rate. Ephesians chapter six, Verses one through four. I want to show you from the scripture the centrality of the home in the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation, the centrality of the home in the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation. God has a plan for multigenerational faithfulness. That plan is the family. Unfortunately, many of the things that we currently involve ourselves in actually work against God's plan of the family. And so currently what we're doing is we're actually this is Let me give you for example, when I say that what we're doing is unbiblical, let me give you what we say is the goal of many of our youth ministries. What we say is this, The youth ministry at SO and so Baptist Church exists to evangelize teenagers, to disciple them, and to equip them to go and evangelize other teenagers. Two problems with that. Number one nine pounds out of ten we never mentioned parents, and number two not your job. Whose job is it to evangelize my children the church? No, it's mine? Whose job is it to disciple my children the church? No, it's mine, Which means that at best, any youth ministry that's going to exist at all had better have a mission statement that says we exist to equip and assist parents as they do what God called them to do and not the church. It's one thing for me to make that statement, but I don't want you too to take my word for it. If Esian chapter six, verses one through fourth, oh, they messed with me on my time, all right, if Theesis chapter six, verses one through fourth. But trust me, you needed to know all of that. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment of the promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, the centrality of the home, in the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation, the centrality of the home. That please know, there's a difference, because what's happening now is people are looking at the data and a lot of our youth ministry programs are now moving toward ministry or youth and their families. And so we were saying, the kids are ours and it's our job to evangelize them, our job to disciple them, and our job to mobilize them. Now we say it's still our job, but we want parents to help us. That's still the wrong answer. Well, your brother, but you don't understand that these families out there, they're not doing it. It's isn't that interesting? For thirty years, here's what we've been telling them. We're framed professionals. Please don't try this at home. You don't understand your kids. Your kids don't like you, trust me. Just drop them off now, and now we're mad because they're doing what we've taught them to do for thirty years. All right, I'm gonna get to this text. It come on. Three things demonstrate the centrality of the home in this process of evangelizing and discipling in the next generation. First, the context of that first verse, children obady of parents in the Lord. For this is right now. In order to understand the context of that verse, you gotta back up to the paragraph before it. You back up to the paragraph before it, and you start with husbands love your wives is Christ also love the Church. But the problem with that is you get there, you gotta back up a paragraph before that one to see the context of this section. Why is the subject to your own husbands as to the Lord? The problem with that is that it is the beginning of the section, but it's got no verb. I know what you're saying. You got a verb right there, be subject, and that's the verb. It ought to be italicized in your Bible. The reason it's italicized is because it's borrowed from verse twenty one. In the Greek, there's no verb there in verse twenty two, so it's borrowed from verse twenty one. Problem with starting with verse twenty one. If you start with verse twenty one, you start at the end of a paragraph, and you can't do that. So in order to understand the context of Ephesians chapter six, verse one, you gotta go all the way back to Ephesians chapter five and verse fifteen. Trust me, we're going somewhere. When you back up to Ephesians chapter five and verse fifteen, here's what you get. You get three contrasts, and then you get three commands, and then you get three contexts. All right, three contrasts. Let's look at them beginning verse fifteen. Therefore, be careful how you walk now, as unwise man, but it's wise making the most of your time, because the days are evil. That's contrast number one, contrast number two next verse, So then, do not be foolish, but understand with who of the Lord is. That's the second contrast. Don't be foolish understanding the Lord's will. Third contrast, do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the spirit. On the third contrast, you get three commands. Those three commands are connected to the third contrast. Look at what he says beginning of verse nineteen. How do you know if somebody's living in spirit for life? Verse nineteen one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord. If you show me a worshipful person, I'll show you a person who's more than likely being controlled by the spirit of God. Show me a person who's not a worshipful person, and I'll show you somebody who more than likely is not being controlled and it's not yielding to the spirit of God. Don't you can't tell me that somebody is spirit filled and they're not worshipful. The two just don't go together fair enough. Live In the next verse, here's the next command, verse twenty, always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ, to God, even the Father. So you're a worshipful person. Secondly, you're prayerfully thankful, preferctly thankful. Show me somebody who's preyerfully thankful, and I'll show you somebody who's probably being controlled by the spirit of God. Show me somebody who is neither prayerful, nor thank you nor thankful, and I'll show you somebody who's not spirit filled. Fair Enough, those were easy Verse twenty one. Get to one another in the fear of Christ. Show me somebody who submits to proper biblical authority in their life, and I'll show you somebody who is spirit filled. Show me somebody who does not submit to proper biblical authority in their life, and I'll show you somebody who's not spirit filled. Now go to chapter six and verse one and look at it in context. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. In other words, three contrasts, three commands. On the third command, you get three contexts. Context number one, wives and husbands, Context number two, children and parents, Context number three, servants and masters. And here's what he's saying in verse one, show me a child who is not submissive to their parents authority. And I'll show you a child who's not yielded to the spirit of God, which means, if we want to lead children toward being spirit filled, wetlead him for the youth, pastor we lead them toward mom and dad, because the measure of their yielding to the spirit of God is whether or not when their parents say something, they do what they're told when they're told, and with a respectful latitude. That's what obedience is. So number one, we see the centrality of the home in the context here he says, you want to take the spiritual temperature of a young person, You take the spiritual temperature of a young person by whether or not they are submissive to the authority of their parents. That's the authority in their life. That's the spiritual authority in their life. The spiritual authority in my child's life is me. The spiritual authority in your child's life is you, which means anything that the church does had better not rob spiritual authority from mom and dad. I don't write the mail life, just deliver it. Secondly, the centrality in the home in his use of the fifth commandment, look at what he says there the next verse, honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. Now, as Americans, we're rugged individualists. So the first thing we want to do with this verse is we want to say, that's talking to the individual. Child. Child, you obey me, you'll have a long, prosperous life. No, no, understand the significance of the fifth commandment. First of all, the fifth commandment is the first of the horizontal commandments. There's ten commandments, first four vertical, last six horizontal. Number one on the hip parade of the horizontal commandments, the mande man commandments Number one is honor your father and your mother, which means there is nothing that the Church can teach a child that is more important than honoring their father and their mother. Now, not only do we see it because of the position, Secondly we see it because of a promise. That's the first one with a promise. Oh that's huge. Do you know what? The first fourth commandment's hard command at number one? I'm god, you don't get another one? Lord? Can we get a promise with that one? No promise? Just do it? Command at number two, don't even make nothing to look like me. Okay, God, can we get a promise with that one? Uh uh, just do it. Command at number three, don't even mess with my name. Okay, God, that's kind of serious right there. You gotta give us a promise on that one. Command at number four, don't even mess with my day. Now, wait a minute. Now, you know I want my boy to be a baseball player. Most of the teams. You know, you have to go and you have to play on Sunday sometime. And God, I'm sure you don't mess with my day. Get a promise with that one, Lord, no promise. Commandment number five, honor your father and your mother, and get a promise with that one. God, you better believe you can. On that one, I give you a promise. Do you see the importance of the fifth Commandment? It's huge. Its order screams about its importance. The fact that it's the first one with a promise screams of its importance. Now listen to this. The first commandment was The fifth Commandment was not for the individual child. It was for the community of faith. Here's what the fifth Commandment is about. Remember, we get him in Deuteronomy five and Deuteroni chapter six. What does he teach us? He teaches us how to disciple our children in our homes. He teaches us, listen Israel, Hero Israel, the Lord, our God. The Lord is won. You shall love the Lord, your God, blow your heart, all your soul, and all your mic these lords was I'm commanding you today's It'll be on your hearts, and you shall teach them diligently through your sons, when you lie down, when you rise up, and when you walk along the way. Disciple your children. Can I give it to somebody else to do. No, it is your job as parents. Listen to me. You're clapping, but almost every one of you has a youth ministry in your church that is operating unbiblically. Don't clap if you're not gonna change it. And I'm not talking about including more parents than what we do. I'm talking about changing the entire paradigm. Why. Because here's the purpose of the fifth Commandment. God says you are my people, but you're about to go into a pagan land where they worship pagan gods. If you want to continue to be My people, here's what you must do. Number one, you must have a boatload of kids. That's what it means to multiply greatly. By the way, when he sends them into the Promised Land, what does he say to them in Deuteronomy that they're going to multiply greatly so that when he sends them into the Promised Land they won't disappear as God's people when he sends them into exile. And Jeremiah twenty nine, what does he say, multiply greatly you want to avoid disappearing in the midst of a pagan culture, outbreed them. Let me tell you something. There's some of us in the room who need to repent because of our attitude towards children, and because of what we've said to people communicating our attitude and not the biblical attitude toward children. Some of us need to get on our faces before a holy God because we have mocked being fruitful. I've heard pastors from pulpit, from the pulpit talk about their children like they despise the number of children that God has given them. I heard a pastor from the pulpit talk about their third child being named mine. Yeah, any meaning in mining because we ain't having no more that is a mockery before Almighty God. Children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the room is a reward. Our attitude from here is why a lot of people out there aren't having enough kids. Starts with us and it all goes back to prosperity. Purist nations in the world see children as a blessing. The ricius nation in the world we talk about children in terms of how many we can afford. God help us. We're dying one generation at a time because we refuse to receive the gift that God wants to bring through the womb our attitudes. God says, you wanna continue to be my people, you do two things. Number one, you gladly receive these blessings that I give you call children. And number two, you disciple them in your homes so that they don't look like the culture around them. The minute you stop receiving the gift of God through the world, and the minute you stop discipling them in your home, they begin to look like the culture and the community of God begins to vanish before your eyes. Two Christians in this generation, two Christian families in this generation. To get one generation into the next, I believe that's a plague on us. It's amazing. We always talk about how we want more souls in the kingdom. If we were honest, here's what we'd say. We want more souls in the kingdom as long as we don't have to birth and raise them and feed them. Finally, in case you don't understand what he said by the context of this passage, and in case you don't understand what he said by him pointing to the fifth Commandment, how about a plain, black and white, straightforward word verse four. And fathers and fathers and fathers. Everybody's trying to figure out how to make men excited about church again. Everybody's figuring out how do we challenge our men, how do we get our men involved. God's got an answer, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Then get clearer than that, folks. The context of this passage says the home is central and the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation. The fact that he points to the fifth Commandment screams that the home is central and the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation. And then in case we didn't get those two hints, he says it in black and white, Fathers, Disciple, your children, fathers. If we believe this, then why is it that we've done everything in our power not to allow that to happen. We don't expect that from our men, and I hear you, we go back to this whole thing. I understand that, but they're just not equipped. They just don't know. Here's what's interesting. If the people in your church are not tithing, if you don't start a ministry to tithe for them, do you? No, you simply teach them and expect them to do what the Bible says is their job. If it works for tithing, why don't we think it'll work for the discipleship with the next generation. So what do we do with this? I'm not telling you ought to go fire or use pastor storm. It's not what I'm saying here, But we have to completely revamp our philosophies. In the last couple of minutes that I have left, let me give you a few things that we must do, because currently all of our evangelistic efforts amount to know more than filling up a bucket with a hole in the bottom, we are not growing. I want you to hear that today. And by the way, this is why you out there, you're going, yeah, a sixteen million, we're not gonna go how many course that we won't go down to four million in just one generation. No, listen to me. Our churches will continue to be filled. But here's what we do know. Number one, we know because of Tom Rader's research that was published in the spring edition of the Southern Baptist Theological Journal. According to their research, if their estimations are correct, somewhere around half of all Southern Baptists members are unregenerated. By the way, according to the Neomiah Institute, the Barner Research Group, and the National Study of Youth and Religion, less than ten percent of professing Christian teenagers operate from a biblical worldview. Less than five percent are theologically born again. By that, I mean they say they're born again and they trust Christ the Savior and Lord of their life. But they're wrong on the deity of Christ. They're wrong on substitutionary atonement, They're wrong on just about every important theological issue related to salvation. Only five percent of them theologically have the information that they need to be saved, so our churches will continue to look big, but the overwhelming majority of the people inside will not be Christ followers. So what do we do? Number one, I beseech you, if you don't have a biblical view of children, get on your face before Almighty God and repent. And if you have been mocking children from your pulpit, and if you like one pastor, one pastor that I talked to recently, said, brother, when you said that, here's what I thought. The first thought that came to my mind was last week I talked to my people and I told them that we thought my life was pregnant. And when I said that, I told them that after we found out that she was, and I said, we had a close call. He said, I don't need to go get on my face right now, because I communicated to my people that children are a curse and a scourge and not a blessing. Do not make a mockery of children. You encourage people to welcome children into their homes. You throw a banquet. When that woman walks into your church with six or seven kids behind it, You honor her and let everybody see you do it. Because if one woman like her we have no future. Secondly, if you have a youth ministry in your church and you have a mission statement, you line it up against what we looked at tonight in scripture, and if it's wrong on its biblical and theological merit, you crumble lit it up, put it in the trash, and start over. Because it will not change until we change our entire mentality about what it means to disciple the next generation. As long as you think it's your idea or it's your responsibility, as long as you think that our job in discipling the next generation means hiring some guy who's twenty five years old, got spiked hair, and has never raised the teenager himself. Lord help us. Our entire mentality has to change. Thirdly, and this is the toughest one to talk about. We have to adopt a biblical view of church leadership. I'll tell you something. There's two skills required of a pastor, and only two skill. There are a lot of character qualities that are required, but only two skills. Number one, he must be able to teach. Number two, he must manage his household well. Our churches are filled with biblically disqualified pastors Titus Chapter one makes it clear if you do not have faithful children, and if your children are accused of rebellion or dissipation, you are disqualified biblically. And you hear that, and I know we hear that, and we go, oh, brother, that's harsh. Nobody's perfect. Listen to me, the same passage says, and here's what boggles my mind, same passage, same paragraphs. Must not be addicted to wine. That says he must not be a drunkard, he must not drink in excess. We say he can't drink at all. Listen to me, I'm not a drinker. I'm not promoting drinking. I've never had a drink. What I want you to hear tonight, not drinking is easy for me, and it's easy for most of you because most of you never drank. And you stick your chest out and pop your collar because you don't drink. It means nothing to you. Unless you've been an alcoholic. It is not hard for you to do. Discipling your family is a different story. And it amazes me that in the same paragraph we take one of those requirements and raise it and the other one and lower it. You want to know why our families are in turmoil because most of you, when you got hired at the church that you're at right now, they never even met your family. They heard you preach and voted on you when the Bible says, if you're not discipling your children in an exemplary fashion, you're not worthy of being called a pastor. From the top down, we are wrong on the family, and we are losing the culture war, one family at a time, and we have gotten so pathetic that now there's a euphemism in our culture called the pinquet. Why don't we use that term as a euphemism because pastors kids who live like they were raised by the devil has almost become the norm. If the church is a corporation, that's completely acceptable, because all you have to do is stand at the top of a machine and make sure that people go in one side of it and out the other, and that there's more of them going through the machine next year than this year. But if the church is a family of families, and if God is serious about families being expected and equipped to disciple their children, then the people who stand at the helm had better be exemplary husbands and exemplary follows, and until we believe that will continue to lose the culture war, one family at a time. Listen to this from Richard Baxter and the Reformed pastor. If you are ungodly and teach not your families the fear of God, nor contradict the sins of the company you are in, nor turn the stream of their vain talking, nor deal with them plainly about their salvation, they will take it as if you've preached to them that such things are needless, and that they may boldly do so. As well as you missed in the pulpit fogging the pew. We will never be able to tell our children to raise and disciple a house full of warriors for Christ if we don't begin to do it from the top.