Part 4 Love And Marriage The Better Half

With me. It's bowed a word of prayer as we bow before the Lord, would you just allow the spirit of God to remind you of how good God's been to you just today. You woke up this morning. You didn't have to all over this world. There are people who didn't. You ought to be grateful for that. You woke up this morning clothed in your right mind. You've had food to eat, transportation to get here, or enough health and strength to walk here at the freedom to come here, the freedom to worship. God's been good to you. Just today. God's been good to you. No matter how difficult your circumstances may be. God has been good to you, and you ought to thank Him for that. Father. Were grateful for this opportunity to come together and set our minds attention and hearts affection on you, and to praise you for who you are and for what you've done. Grateful for this opportunity to rejoice and to come together as the redeemed of the Lord and say so, and even gather perhaps with those in our midst who don't yet know you, who could hear as your people proclaim your goodness, and we pray that before they leave here they would understand how great is our God. This is our prayer and the earnest desire of our very souls. And we ask it because we believe that it's in accordance with the will and the nature and the authority of Jesus, who is the Christ. And all God's people said, amen, and amen and amen. How many of you have been here for all four parts of this journey? All right, well, we're coming in for a landing, and this is the most turbulent part of the ride. If you'll open your bibles back up to Ephesians chapter five, we'll continue to look at this passage of career. Sure, continue to dissect this past the scripture that we've been in for. This will be our third week, and on last week, if you'll remember, my goal was to talk to you as though I were talking to my fifteen year old daughter, and as though I were telling my fifteen year old daughter, as I have many times, here's what the scripture says. It's the baseline, and you don't go below the baseline. This is what he must be. This week, I want to talk to you as though I were talking about twelve year old son, and I want to tell you men. This is the baseline, this is what the scripture says she must be. And we're gonna talk about one thing, really and one thing only. And I want to just get it right out here, right in the beginning, because I ain't scared. She must be submissive, period. She must be submissive several different areas, several different dimensions, but the bottom line is she must be submissive. We don't like that word. I'm really not worried about whether or not you like it. I told you before. I don't write the mail, I just deliver it. I'm not worried about whether or not you like it. I'm worried about whether or not it's in the text. And if it's in the text and we don't like it, then we have two choices. We can either say, God, I know that you know enough to put the Earth exactly where it needed to be, far enough from the Sun so that we don't fry, but close enough so that we don't freeze. I appreciate that, God. I appreciate that you gave the Earth enough mass so the gravity would keep us here, but not too much so that it wouldn't crush us. Thank you very much, God, God. I know that you know how to make the seasons come exactly when they're supposed to come, and you keep this thing balanced just like it's supposed to be. I appreciate all of that. I appreciate that every cell in my body was designed to work properly so that I could live and breathe and move and have my being. However, on this submission thing, you're crazy. That's choice number one. Choice number two, God, when there's a disagreement between you and my culture, let God be true in every man a liar. That's choice number two. The unfortunate reality we are so wed to this godless culture that we rarely make choice number two. I want you to hear this tonight, ladies. The feminist movement has sold you a bill of goods. A bunch of unhappy, miserable women have told you that this whole submission thing is a croc and that marriage in and of itself is by its very nature oppressive to women. They tell you that because I ain't got no man, I want you to understand what the scripture says, because part of the reason is we've built up a caricature of what it is over here. You know, we have no idea what this biblical concept is, that it somehow is equal to oppression. But I want you to see this biblically, and I want you to see it in the context of the big picture that we've been talking about over the last several weeks together, and it'll make sense for you. You'll understand why we did it in this order. Look beginning at verse twenty two. Again if Asians chapter five, verse twenty two, sling at twenty two through twenty four. Now, before we look at this, here's what I want you to do. We'll do a little scientific experiment. We looked at the part for the men and that goes from twenty five on down to let's say thirty two. Show me scientifically in your Bible, how much space that covers? Can you show me? Look at it in your bible. Mine is to be right there. That's right there. What you got? Let me see what you got? How much space did it cover in your Bible? That right there? Okay, Now, let's look at verses twenty two to twenty four and talks to women, say how much space that covers? And ain't right? Let's read it. Wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also as the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body. But as the Church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. If you didn't like that, turn with me to the right. Look at Colossians three and verse eighteen. Maybe you like that one better Colossians eight. Wives be subject to your husbands as fitting in the Lord. Don't like that one either, Turn to the right. Look at first Peter chapter three. Maybe this will feel better, First Peter, chapter three. Let's get there, look at those first six verses. This is for all those of you who say, yeah, that's great, I'll submit to him if he's whatever, First Peter, chapter three. In the same way, you wives be submissions to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be one without a word by the behavior of their wives as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external breaking the hair, wearing gold jewelry, and putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious on the side of God. For in this way, in former times, the holy women also who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves being submissive to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. And you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. Amen, Hallelujah, Praise the Lord. It's not only in there, it's all over the place in there. But what does it mean, glad you asked? First of all, the word comes to us as a military term, the Greek term hupo tasso. It's a military term that means to voluntarily rank oneself beneath another. It is about order, not about value. First thing I want you to understand is that it is about order, not about value. God's not saying men are more important than women. Therefore men are going to be a head in this relationship and women are going to submit to the men. It's not what he's saying. It is about order. I told you a couple of weeks ago. Anything with two heads as a monster. Amen. It is about in the military, anybody here military? Amen, Praise the Lord. In the military. You have a sergeant who's been in the military for let's say ten years, and you have a snot nosed lieutenant who's been there for ten months, who he thinks more valuable to the military the sergeant. But here's the deal. When that lieutenant, who is an officer who's only been there a short while, tells the sergeant what to do, what is the sergeant's response. Salute and execute. That is his response. Why because if he doesn't follow the chain of command, everything breaks down. It has nothing to do with value, It has everything to do with order. We have different functions and we have different roles. So the first thing you need to understand is the Bible is not saying anything here about the value of women. This is about order. First Corinthians, chapter eleven, Paul says, the head of every man is Christ. The head of the woman is the man. The head of Christ is God. What's interesting about that is if this is a matter of value and not just order, then that means the father is more valuable than the son. And nothing could be further from the truth. This is not a matter of value, it's a matter of order. Secondly, submission is voluntary. The word literally means to voluntarily rank oneself beneath another. By the way, that's why I say to you men, she must be submissive. You marry a woman who is not submissive. There's nothing you can do to make her submissive. Nothing you can do if she is not submissive to you as the head of the relationship, well you're gonna do arm wrestler for it. There is absolutely nothing that you can do. And so it's something that she must be because you can't make that happen. Okay, I want you to look at something real quick. Here's the importance of that order. Look back with me. In Genesis chapter three, if you remember in the Fall, what happens is the serpent comes to Eve, tempts Eve, she eats the fruit, and then gives the fruit to her husband. God comes and catches up with it. Adam, where are you? Adam was hiding because he was scared. Why are you scared? But I was naked? Who told you was naked? You've been naked a long time. Didn't know you was naked? If that tree didn't you passed the bug didn't he got it? Was that woman that you gave me. I want you to understand something here I want you to understand what happened in the fall. What happened in the fall was about order. In Romans, chapter five and verse twelve, Paul says, through one man, sin enter the world and death through sin. Notice he didn't say through one couple. The New Testament talks about sin coming into the world through Atom and Adam alone. Why because he had headship. You know. The problem with the fall was a problem of order. Here's the order before the fall. God creates man, and he gives the man the woman, and the man and the woman are to have authority and dominion over the beasts God, man, woman everything that they have dominion over. What happens in the fall. The beast deceives the woman, thus exercising dominion over her. The woman tempts the man, thus exercising dominion over him, and the man eats in order that he might be like God. They flip the order upside down. That's the fall. It's about order. By the way. In chapter three, look at what God says verse sixteen to the woman. He said, I will greatly multiply your pain and childbirth. And childbirth, yahn, thank you for that. In pain you will bring forth children your desire would be for your husband, and he will rule over you. Then to Adam, he said, because you listen to the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree which I commanded you, saying you shall not eat, not literally because she spoke and you heard what she said, but because you did not exercise your headship. That was your problem. This is about order, it's not about value. You must understand that. But she must be submissive. She must be submissive in what context and to whom I'm glad you asked. First of all, she must be submissive to the Lord. Look at the text with me again, if you will. Something very interesting happens in verse twenty two. Verse twenty two, it says, wise, be subject to your own husbands. However, that term be subject ought to be in italics in your Bible. The reason that ought to be in italics in your Bible is because that verb I told you who Potasso is not there in verse twenty two. It's not there the Greek verb that I just told you is not there in verse twenty two. Well, why you make it up? I didn't make it up. They got to be subject right there too. They just put in their iology well, why they make it up. They didn't make it up. They borrowed it from verse twenty one. Verse twenty one says, and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Now here's the problem. The smallest breakdown of scripture, The smallest division of scripture is not the verse. The Bible wasn't written with chapters and verses. The smallest division of scripture is the paragraph. Now the problem is, Verse twenty two is the beginning of a paragraph. But at the beginning of the paragraph you don't have a verb, so they borrow the verb from verse twenty one. Small problem. Verse twenty one is the end of a paragraph. So if you want to understand the context of verse twenty two, you gotta go all the way back to verse fifteen. So that's why we're gonna start in order for you to get this picture and hopefully will revolutionize your understanding of what we're talking about here today. When you go back to verse fifteen, you will find three sets of three. First you will have three contrasts, then you will have three commands, and then you will have three contexts, and then you will understand verse twenty two. Trust me, let's go verse fifteen. Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. Contrast number one, don't be unwise, but be wise verse seventeen. So then, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. That's contrast number two. Don't be foolish, but understand God's will. Contrast number three, verse eighteen. Do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the spirit. That's contrast number three. Now, under the umbrella of contrast number three, you get three commands. How am I to be filled with the spirit? That said legitimate question, isn't it? He says, don't be drunk with wine. By the way, he was talking about the people who were going through the temple of Dionysius getting drunk in order to get in touch with this sort of spiritual realm. He says, you don't do that. You yield yourself to the spirit of God. Literally, what being filled with the spirit is is yielding to the spirit of God. You yield yourself to the spirit of God, not to something else that will control you. The legitimate question after that is how do I do that well, he tells you. After three contrasts, you get three commands. You want to be filled with the spirit. Here you go. Look at the next three verses. Speaking to the one to know what psalms, hymns, the spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord sounds like what we just did. Show me a person who's a worshiper, and I'll show you a person who's probably yielding to the spirit of God. Show me a person who's not a worshipper. I'll show you a person who's probably not yielding to the spirit of God. Command number two, always giving thanks for all things in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, even to God the Father. Be prayerfully thankful number one. Be a worshiper. Number two, Be prayerfully thankful. Now we get the verse twenty one, and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Submit to profer biblical authority. After the three commands, we get three context Context number one, wives to husbands, Context number two, children to parents, Context number three, servants to masters. If you understand that, then here's what you understand the Bible to be saying. If you want to know if somebody is actually submitting to the Lord Jesus Christ, look into their life and ask this question, are they submitting to the proper authority that God has placed in their life? In other words, show me a woman who's not submissive, and I'll show you one who's probably not walking with God. If you can't say amen, you want to say ouch. By the way, here's a question that I get a lot. I get a lot of you. You didn't the menner? Right there? He goes, yeah, man, I agree with that right there? Who but pleasure. Here's a problem. I got this girl friend. She don't submit to me. She's not supposed to. The text says wives submit to your husband's not girlfriends submit to your boyfriends. Listen to me. If you find a young woman who is willing to submit to you you and she's not married to you, then you found a young woman who is not properly operating under biblical authority. Let me make this plain beginning at chapter six and verse one, look at what it says, children, obey your parents and the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth submitting the proper authority. First of all, she's not to submit to you if you are her boyfriend. Biblically, the Bible doesn't acknowledge the position of boyfriend or girlfriend. That is an unbiblical relationship. The idea is you're just gonna kick it with somebody because you like them and they look good to you. You know, that's a completely unbiblical concept. Biblically, you kick it by yourself until you find somebody who meets the biblical qualifications to be married. Once you meet somebody who meets the biblical qualifications to be married, here's what you do. Ladies. By the way, before you get married, what's the biblical authority that you should be submitting to? Chapter six, Verses one and two your father. So men, she must be submissive to her father. Oh, I hear you, because I get this all the time, because we're Americans. We always want to go to the exception and then try to make a rule. And so I say she should be submissive to her father, and then y'all want to go to like the worst case scenario. What if her father tells her. I don't want you to ever breathe again. Help you If your first response when I say that is to say, well, I don't have a godly father, or what if this? What if that? If your first response is to look for loopholes, you don't get it. Biblical submission doesn't look for loopholes. Biblical submission is just mission. Let me give you an example. I told you we were a homeschool family. I didn't tell you we're a radical homeschool family. Here's the deal. When I sat down with my insurance man for the last time, here's my goal. My goal is not you know, I want my wife to be rich when I die. I want to be worth more dead than alive. I don't want to give her any reason to even do are thinking about killing me? Okay? But I sat down with him and I said this. I want enough insurance so that my wife will never even have to contemplate allowing the government to educate our children. That's how committed we are to not allowing the government schools to get their hands on our kids. I cannot tell you how opposed I am to that concept. I cannot tell you how odious that concept is to me. Now, if you work in the government school, God bless you, praise God that you're a missionary in that place. You ain't getting my kids though. All right, But here's the deal. Here's the deal. Every year, although I spies them and I wouldn't dare give them my kids, every year, I got to write him a big fat check, and I gotta walk over to the district building headquarters and hand them my check. Why because I don't want to get a government an extra thirty six cents for that stamp. And so I walk over there and I give them that check and I don't say a word. I don't blast them, I don't say nasty things about him. I don't write graffiti on the walls. I do it because that's what submission requires. Even when you disagree with someone, you follow me. Well, my father's not a Christian, I don't care. He's your father. You honor him, you respect him. Men, you run into a woman who is not submissive to parental authority, You have just run into a woman who will not be submissive in marriage, because the first thing she's gonna look for is an opportunity to say that you're not quite doing what you're supposed to be doing. Therefore, she's not gonna render what the Bible says she's to render. Trust me on this one. Let me give you another scenario. People ask me about this all the time. Young men and young women and they're so in love, and you know, it's college time, and he's offered college over here, and she's supposed to be going to college over there, and she wants to go over college where he is, and the parents are saying, no, we want you to college over here. And then she's trying to manipulate the parents so that she can get to college where he is because she loves him so much. Who do you submit to in that? Your mother and your father. Here's the deal. When you establish your family, what you are going to desire is the biblical model of children who are in submission to you as parents. Right. But if the foundation upon which your marriage is built is you being disobedient and lacking submission to your parents, you're just like the sergeant who disrespects the lieutenant but expects the private to obey him. You may as well take a hammer and go knock down your own house brick by brick if that's how you're gonna behave. It's not about value, it is about order. This is about biblical headship because remember, what we're modeling is the relationship between Christ and his church. And in Philippians chapter two, he says, let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ. Jesus, what mind the mind of one who left heaven? In order to be submissive? Submissive to what point? To the point of death on the cross? To that point, she must be submissive to Christ. She must be submissive to the authority that God has placed over her. If she's not submissive to Christ, keep stepping. If she's not submissive to the authority that God has placed over her, specifically her father, her father's absent, then her mother and whatever other figure has come into our life and older brothers or whoever has come into her life to be that spiritual covering in her life, she must be. She absolutely must be, because that's a character issue. By the way, remember what we did going back to verse fifteen. If being filled with the spirit means that we properly submit to the authority placed over us, then you show me a woman who is not submissive to her parents, and I'll show you one who's not filled with the spirit of God. God you follow that. Thirdly, she must be submissive to the biblical picture of marriage. She's gotta be submissive to the Biblical picture of marriage. It amazes me how many times women in our culture and women, I promise you, you've been sold to bill of goods. And here's the lie that you've been sold. You've been sold this lie that says you can have it all. Not you cannot have it all. You can't when you understand biblically what is required to be a wife and especially to be a mother. Newsflash, you can't have it all. I'm here to tell you, right here and right now, you cannot have it all. Now did I say you can't have a job. I didn't say that. Don't you go lying on me telling people that I said that to you. I didn't say that to you. I got my own house to run. I can't be trying to run yours. That's between you and your husband. What I said is, you can't have it all, and what you have to be submissive to is the Biblical picture of marriage. The Biblical picture of marriage gives you priorities. Turn with me to the right and look at Titus chapter two. You know, we always talk about Titus two women. It amazes me how much we talk about Titus two women, not even looking at what this text has to say. I want to get disciple by a Titus two women. Can I show you what the Bible says? The tightust two women are supposed to teach a younger woman Titus chapter two, beginning at verse three. Older women likewise are to be referent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, not malicious gossips, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved too much wine, teaching what is good so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the Word of God will not be dishonored. If you're submissive to the Biblical model of marriage, your home is your priority. Amen, lights here's a question you need to ask, man, is this woman you're pursuing is her priority her home or is that something down the line that maybe someday she might want to give a little space too in her life. Biblically, it's to be your priority now. In case you go line on me again, he said, we just supposed to be barefoot and pregnant, and we're not supposed to ever have anything. Manutes, But that is not what I said. I said your home is to be your priority. Let me show you a picture of a bad woman. I don't mean bad, like bad, she was a bad girl. I mean like bad, like this girl is bad. Right here, Proverbs thirty one. Turn with me to Proverbs thirty with this girl's bad. I'm serious Proverbs thirty one, beginning at verse ten. Again, I'm not talking about what you can't do. I'm talking about what your priority is. And I say unequivocally that your priority must be your home. Period. It has to be Biblically, the Bible makes it clear that that's to be your priority. Look at Proverbs chapter thirty one. That doesn't mean that you have to have this lowly empty life. Beginning of verse ten. An excellent wife who can find for her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the day of his life. She looks for wool and flax, works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships. She brings food from afar. She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it. This girl is in real estate, y'all. From her earnings, she plants a vineyard. Now she's in investments. She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She works it out who she senses that her gain is good. Her lamp does not go out at night. She's diligent. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hands to the poor. She stretches out her hands to the needy. She's merciful. She is not afraid of the snow for her household. For all her household, her clothes and scarlet. She takes care of her home before anything else. She makes coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine, linen and purple. Her husband by the way, that means the girl can dress too. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them. She supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks, well, excuse me to all the ways of her household. There's a priority of home again, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her. Her husband also and praises her, saying, many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them. All. Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord shall I'll be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. That is not a lowly caricature of a woman. That is a woman who is industrious. That is a woman who is intelligent. That is a woman who works hard. That is a woman who prioritizes her home above all else. Two types of children. One of them is like me. When I was a kid, I was a latchkey child. I used to come home from school and my mother was not home, and I would have a little key and I would get into the door. Neighbors would check on me to make sure I was there. They would check to make sure I started my homework. Sometimes I wouldn't see my mother in till later on in the evening. But I don't resent my mother for that, because she was a single teenage mother who got pregnant with me when she was seventeen years old, and by the time she was eighteen, had been abandoned to raise me by herself. My mother struggled all of her life to provide for me, and she did the best she could with what she had. I do not resent my mother at all for me having to come home from school by myself, for other people having to watch me and take care of me. But you know what, I meet people who resent their parents all the time. And here's usually the difference in the story. Their mother was working like a slave, not because she was a single teenage mother who had to, but because she wanted more stuff, and she thought stuff was more important than her children, and so she sacrificed her children on the altar of prosperity. And instead of giving herself to her children, she gave nice things to her children, somehow, thinking that number one, she could pay somebody ten dollars an hour and they would give her children what God designed her to give them, and secondly, somehow thinking that giving her children toys that got bigger as they got older would make up for the fact that she chose to sacrifice them on the alter of prosperity. Those people are the ones who have problems with their mothers minded what she had to do. But there's a lot of women out there who have bought the lie, and oftentimes it's too late before they turn around and realize that they don't have the relationship with their children that they could have because basically they abandoned them in order to pursue something that they thought was more fulfilling and more important and more rewarding. There is nothing more honorable in this world. There is nothing more important in this world. There is nothing more praiseworthy in this world than a woman who will devote herself to her home and to her family and to her children. I cannot begin to put into words the level of respect that I have for my wife. My wife is a cum Lautie College graduate who laid it down for me and my children. People come up to my wife all the time, and oftentimes they have the audacity to ask her if she regrets not using her education I back up. She looks them in the eye and tries not to work her neck while she says to them, I am raising and training three warriors for the cause of Christ. Got another one on the way. There is nothing in this world that is more important than that, more rewarding than that, and more valuable than that. And when I put my head on my pillow at night, I have no regrets about the contribution that I am making to my home more importantly than that. When they leave, I will not have to wonder whether or not they despise me, because I sacrifice them in order to pursue something else. And oh, by the way, God wants me to do something beyond that. He'll give me time after they're gone. And then I move back so I can hear the people go, see, well, quit, I was just kidding. Here's what's ironic. If a woman lays down her life in order to bring coffee to a man in an office, we say, you go girl. Same woman, instead of going to an office and land on her life to serve some man that is not her husband and some corporation that is not her family, lays down her life in order to serve the most important corporation that the world has ever seen the family, and we say, oh, isn't that a tragedy. God help you if you think like that. And man, if you find a woman who thinks like that, keep searching, because she is not submissive to the biblical picture of what family is all about. We are not about corporate mergers. We're not about trying to find people who look good enough to make us, you know, this sort of award winning couple when we walk down the street. We're not trying to find people whose degrees happen to be compatible so that we can maximize our earnings. What we are trying to do is find people who meet the biblical qualifications so that we can establish biblical families that believe in those two priorities that God has given us for marriage. One pro creation, not just having children, although we are to have a bunch of them, but raising them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord so that we can loose them on the world for the cause of Christ. And secondly, this idea of illustration, this idea that our marriage would be a living, breathing example and picture of the relationship between Christ and his Church. That's what we're looking for. It's built on biblical love, an act of the will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object. It's made up of men who meet the biblical qualifications. They must be able to lead in love, to lead in the word, to lead in righteousness, to lead in selflessness, and to lead in intimacy. And it's based on women who meet the biblical qualifications for being godly wives. They must be submissive first and foremost, they must be submissive to the Lord Jesus Christ. Secondly, they must be submissive to the authority that God has over them right now. And thirdly, they must be submissive to the biblical portrait of marriage. When we have this, then we'll have the kind of marriages that will cause the world to stop and take notice and eventually come to us and say, can you help us because we would give anything to have what you have. My wife and I have had millionaires in our home asking us to help them rescue their marriages. Millionaires sitting at our table saying we've got everything and we would give it all away to have what you two have. Why because they bought a lie, don't you do that? Marriage must be what God designed it to be. He must be what God requires him to be. She must be what God requires her to be. And quite frankly, it doesn't really concern me if the culture appreciates this, because newsflash, the culture is terrible at marriage. If the culture was out there, you know, setting records and staying married and being happy, and maybe I'd listen to their criticism, Well, I just don't like that whole submission thing. And I think, yeah, uh huh, in the words of that famous theologian doctor Phil, how's that working for you? But the one who created marriage is the one who determines how it works, and if we want it to thrive, we must do it on his terms. Would you buy with me as we buye before the Lord, I'm gonna pray for you first of all, if there are women here, and you'd say, boy, I need you just in a special way to pray for me, because that just doesn't fit what I've been told. It doesn't fit what I've been pursuing, It didn't fit what I was after. But I know it's what the text says, and I need God to do a work in me. If that's you, would you would you just just show me your hand tonight. Just just show me your hand tonight. That's you. You want this time? I pray? Okay, thank you. And there's some men in the room tonight, some of you ill talked to you last week. A couple of you came up to me last week and said, you know what, I'm not that guy. Boy. I want to be that guy, but I'm not that guy. See if your hand fucking pray for you in that regard tonight, Guys. Yeah, there are others of you here and you're wrestling with something more significant. There's some of you here who are in very serious relationships with people that you've invested years in that looked nothing like what the Bible does. Man, and you know exactly what you need to do, but you don't have the will to do it. That's you. I'm not going to ask you to raise your hand. I just want to say tonight that I want to pray for you. Especially there's others in here tonight and you're hearing this and perhaps what it's done for you. It's amazing how the Bible does this. Is it's begun to paint a picture of who Christ is and what Christ has done for us, because remember, one of the purposes of marriage is to do that, to paint a portrait of this Christ who left glory in order to experience humiliation before he experienced his exaltation, die for us on the cross, and then you grasp this renewed vision for marriage, You've also grasped a renewed vision for a relationship with God through his son Jesus Christ. I want to pray for you specifically as well. You may want to kneel where you are or grab somebody's hand or whatever, but I just want to pray for you, Father. I lift up those people under the sound of my voice who have desperately needed to hear these truths, who have bought the incredible lies that our culture has bombarded us with and have been looking for something that is actually antithetical to what you have in store for us. I pray for that young man who's been trying to be everything but what the Bible calls him to be, and for the first time has a renewed vision and a renewed passion for walking with you and becoming that. I pray for that young woman who in this room tonight saw her rebellion in a completely different light, and didn't understand that rebelling against her parents in order to pursue some young man was actually undermining any relationship that she would ever have with that young man. I pray for those who need to know who Christ is tonight I need to walk with him. Pray for those in the room who are married and neither marriage is strengthened or even restored. For those who are on their way down the aisle in a very short while, and for those who perhaps see no prospects on the horizon and desperately need to learn to depend on You. For all of us, I pray that we would become godly men and women who exemplify lives that are completely and radically sold out to the Lord Jesus Christ and filled with the hope that only he can bring. This is our prayer, and we ask it in that name that is above every name, the name of Jesus