Ephesus Family Conference, 3

If you have your bibles with you, let's open them again to Ephesians. In this time, let's go to Ephesians chapter five. Ephesians Chapter five, twenty two. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband as the head of the wife. Even as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, and is himself it's savior. Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Verse twenty five. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the Church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the Church, because we are members of His body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the Church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Amen. So he had these. Clear admonitions here in this passage, and I want us to look at these in turn, but remembering what it's all about. Remembering it's all about Christ's headship over his body, about unity and Christ's body and the glory that the body gives. To its head. So with those in mind, let's look at these in turn, starting with verse twenty two. Let's look at womanhood in context verses twenty two to twenty four, and look at the keywords there. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Notice that the focus here is on Christ's relationship with his bride, the Church. We'll find that in the second half of this too, that when the admonition comes to husbands, the focus is on Christ's relationship with his bride the Church. You know, submission is always given in the context of human agency. Oftentimes, you know, we talk about submission and we think about, well, I'm submissive to the Lord. Yeah, you're submissive to the Lord. But the only way that you express submission to the Lord is by your submission to human agency, because God calls you to submit to human agencies. The parent child relationship is about submission, and it's about submission to the Lord if he's in six one through four. The husband wife relationship, it's about submission and it's about submission to the Lord. Church members submitting to church leaders Hebrews thirteen seventeen. That is about submission to the Lord. Submission to the Lord as manifested through submission to church leaders, citizens, submission to. Their government Romans thirteen one, Peter two. This is an active submission to the Lord, manifested by submission to and through human agency. And so understand that submission to human agency is an expression and an extension of our submission to the Lord. That's how we submit to the Lord. A couple of things about a couple of things about a wife submission to her husband. It's not optional, by the way, this is a command. This is an imperative. Wives submit to your husband's as to the Lord, which means that a wife submission to her husband is only a picture of her submission to Christ. A wife's submission to her husband is only a picture of her submission to Christ. Show me a woman who has a problem with submission to her husband. I'll show you a woman who has a problem or their submission to Christ. Secondly, a wife's submission is not an expression of value, but one of order and unity. It's not an expression of value, but it's an expression of order and unity. Anything with two heads as a. Monster, Amen, we need to kill it or capture it and make people pay to come see it. Right, But anything with two heads as a monster, this is not This is not about value. This is about order and unity. To use another military example, you know what's more valuable a sergeant who's been there for ten years or a lieutenant who's been there for ten days. You don't have to be scared to answer. A sergeant who's been there ten years much more valuable than a lieutenant who's been there for ten days. Right, But when the lieutenant gives an order, is the sergeant. Salute and execute? Why? Because It's not about value, it's about order, and if he does not respect that order, then the other order will not be respected. Amen. You know it's interesting. I have women who come to me speaking a lot of homeschool conferences. My homeschool dad and I speak a lot of homeschool conferences, and I have women come up and talk about, you know, their children and having problems with this and problems with dad and whenever it's on, you know, obedience of their children. I always ask, how are you doing when your submission to your husband? They're like, well, no, I'm talking about like my you know, my children. You know, yeah, I know. How are you doing when your submission to your husband? Why? I shall see how that's relevant. I can't see how it's not. Do you really think that God can give you a specific command and specific order within the context of your home? You violate that in the presence of your children and then expect them to uphold it better than you do as their model. Again, if you can't say amen, you want to say ouch? Right, same thing when husbands are talking to me about this, you know, and their wife and her submission, that how you doing when your submission to the church and to the leaders there. I still see how that has anything to do with it. Yeah, it does. It. Does you want your children and your wife to be submissive within the context of your home? Are you submissive to the leadership that God has placed over you? Amen? Lights do you see this? This is an important issue. Thirdly, a wife submission to her husband is not a statement about all women and all men. I've had this conversation on number of occasions. You know, a young man is you know, interested in a young woman, and you know he's worried about this whole thing or submission, or they're having a disagreement and she's you know, not submitting to him on some particular issue, you know, about something. There's something that she wants to do versus something that he wants to do, and you know, he feels like she should submit, and I'm like, why should she submit to you? Well, I mean because you know I'm the man, and I'm yeah, you're the man, but you're not her husband. The Bible cause wives to submit to their husbands. Why my boyfriend, Yeah, that's not a biblical category. And then the question will often come, well, then, well, then how do I know she's going to be miss it when we get married. Is she submitted to her father because that's the authority to what she's called to submit Now. If she's not submitting to the authority to what she's called to submit now, then you know she's not going to submit to the authority that she's called to submit to then, because she has a submission problem. Yeah, but her father is not exactly a godly man. Oh so her sin against God and the refusal to submit is acceptable because she only has to submit. To people who are worthy. Well, what happens when she realizes you're not worthy? Because you're not. The Bible doesn't call us to submit to those who are worthy. It calls us to submit to those who are in position. You submit to the office, You submit to the office. You salute the rank, not the man, because the order of the entire institution is dependent upon it. Amen. And so this is not a statement about all women and all men. This is a statement about husbands and wives, statement about the marriage relationship. If you want to know about a woman's submission, if she's not married, then just ask herself, how is she doing in submitting to the authority that's in her life now? If she's not if she's. Not submitting to the man who gave her life and food and shelter. What makes you think that you're so fine that she gonna submit to you? Right? Because again, to talk about what we talked about earlier, there's going to be a shift, right because right now she's all starry eyed, and she may submit at first because of Beatles theology. Right, all we need is love, you know? But then I told you Beatles theology gives a way to Tina Turner Theology's love got to do with it? Right? And then that gives way to Jenny Jackson theology. What have you done for me lately? Right? So I mean you get through all of that. If there's a submission problem, it will show up. Okay, it will show up. But again, there's a character issue here. There's a sanctification issue here. Okay, a wife submission to her husband. Fourthly, is an expression of her faith in God as she gives herself to the one whom he called to love, protect, serve, and nurture her. Do you trust God? It's a faith issue. I don't want to submit to this man because I don't trust him. You don't submit to him because you trust him. You submit to him because you trust God? Do you trust God? This is a faith issue. This is a faith issue. And for those of you who are not married, if you are worried about whether or not you can trust this man to submit to him, you can finish that one. Amen, you can you can finish that one. Fifthly, a wife's submission is is not conditional first Peter three, one through four or one through seven. Wives, it's not it's not conditional, first Peter three. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husband, so that even even if some do not obey the word, and I submit to my husband, why because he's. It not obeying a word. Really, I think there's. A Bible verse about that. I su meant to my husband. Why, well, because he's just not being godly right now. He's not being wise right now, he's not being likewise. Wise, be subject to your own husband, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair they're putting on a gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear. But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands. As Sarah submit obeyed Abraham calling him Lord, and you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything. That is frightening. It's a faith issue. It's a faith issue. Well. There are often arguments made. Against this idea, and not just from you know, feminism out there, but there's an argument made from feminism in here, evangelical feminism as it is often called. And there are three main arguments that evangelical feminists make against the idea of a woman's submission to her husband. They are the oneness in Christ argument, the mutual submission argument, and the reversal of the curse argument to steal with those in turn. First, the oneess in Christ argument, the one is in Christ argument. Go to the relations three twenty eight. Right, there's neither June nor Greek. There's neither slave nor free, there's neither male nor female. For you are all one in Christ, Jesus so the idea of a woman submitting to her husband is an outdated idea because we are all one in Christ. Small problem. The guy who wrote Galatians is the guy who wrote Ephesians. So either he's schizophrenic or we got another theology happening here. Right talked about Beatles' theology and Tina turned theology. Janet Jackson theology is also Princess Bride theology. Princess Bride theology. Is this you keep on using that verse. I do not think it means what you think it means as curious, and I talked about this on yesterday. This is. This has nothing to do with the wife's submission to her husband. Absolutely nothing to do with a wife submission to her husband. This has to do with our standing before Christ. Amen. And remember I said, her submission has nothing to do with value or standing. It has everything to do with order. Then there's the mutual submission argument. The mutual submission argument says it in verse twenty one. It says submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. So you got to back up to verse twenty one in order to understand the command to the woman in verse twenty two. Three problems with that one. The Greek word that's used here with potassa, this word means to submit, and it's not mutual. It is a military term. It's a military term. There is no mutual submission in the military. It goes one way up the chain of command, not down. Amen, there is no mutual submission in military. Secondly, there is no mutual submission in any other household codes. Colossians three, Titus two, and First Peter three all contain the household codes about submission. In the household codes, there's always three people. There's parents and children, there's husbands and wives, and there's servants and masters. In the household codes in this passage. In Ephesians and Colossius three, Titus two, and First Peter three, you find those, and in none of those do you find a mutual submission clause. You only find it in verse twenty one. And then there is the immediate context of verse twenty one. Verse twenty one is the end of a paragraph, not the beginning. The paragraph begins in verse fifteen. For the sake of time, we won't be able to go over all of this, but just know that in Ephesians Chapter five, verses fifteen through twenty one, you have three triplets. First of all, you have three commands right on the or at three contrasts. Right, don't be unfoolish, but be wise, you know, don't be drunk with wine, be filled with You've. Got three contrasts. On the third contrast, you have three commands, the third the third one right, don't be drunk of wine, be filled with the spirit. How are you filled with the spirit? By being prayerfully, thankful, by being worshipful, and then by submitting to one another. That's an expression of being filled with the spirit. After the third command, you have three contexts. First, wives to husband, second six one through four, children to parents, Third, servants to masters six five through nine. So Verse twenty one is not an umbrella for twenty two to twenty four. It's an umbrella for five twenty two all the way to six'. Nine and it is not mutual. Submission there is no mutual submission between children and, parents there is no mutual submission between servants and. Masters and there is no mutual submission between husbands and. Wives wives are called to submit to. Husbands husbands are never called to submit to. Wives, HEY i don't write the, MAIL i just deliver. It, okay before you get all, upset you need to understand that there's some other things that husbands are called to. Do, Heymen AND i don't just say wives submit to. Husbands husbands just be subdmitted, to not what The bible. Teach in, fact here's WHAT i want you to do in Your. BIBLE i want you to look at the paragraph talking to wives and just with your, fingers show me. How big it. Is, okay show me how big it. Is Now i'm going to the part for the husband and show me how big that is compared to to put a. Aha so for you get all, offended, right here's another. Thing there's a drama here that's being played. Out this is about the relationship Between christ and his, church right. Right in this drama that's being played, out, ladies you play the part of the bride who is rescued and. Ransom we play the one who died on a. Cross so just unupset. Yourself, okay all, right for the sake of, time let's move to the. Other, no, no, no, no we. Can't there's some things we have to cover. Here there's the final. One there's the reverse of the curse argument the reverse of the curse. Argument the idea here is That genesis three sixteen to the, woman he, SAID i will surely multiply your pain and child. Bearing in, pain you shall bring forth. Children your design shall be for your, husband and he shall rule over. You and the argument is. That that that's the only reason that you have male headship is because of the. Curse but when we come to faith In, christ the curse is. Reversed two problems with that. Problem number, one male headship exists before the. Curse the woman was made after the man male. Headship the woman was made from the man male. Headship the woman was made for the man male. Headship the woman was brought to the man male. Headship the woman was named by the man twice male. Headship all of this before the. Fall, well the second naming was after the, fall but the first naming was before the. Fall all of this male. Headship here's the second. Problem did you notice there In genesis chapter three and verse sixteen that is talking about the curse, Right and the argument from the evangelical feminists is the curse has been, reversed therefore no more headship work is still. Laborious there are still thorns and, thistles and we work by the sweat of our. Brow. Amen you don't have unsaved farmers who sweat and toil and saved farmers. Who don't sweat and don't have. Thorns. Amen the other thing, is if you go to the maternity, ward you don't find the Non christian women over here writhing in pain and the believers over. Here going what are they crying? About? Right? Amen so this whole argument, that, well that's just part of the, curse and that's been reversed. Again labor in both senses of the word proves. Otherwise so that's not the. Case are there? Limits this is the question are there? Limits AND i get? This and usually people don't ask are their? Limits usually if they want to ask are their, limits they'll come and they'll say something just. Ridiculous, Okay so are you saying that if my husband tells me to go out and buy a gun and rob a bank and kill fifteen people and then kill myself and jump off a, bridge THAT i should just do? It i'm, exaggerating but only, Slightly. Okay and when the question is asked like, that here's what people are. After they just want me to say that at some point there's a, no and then they, go, fine that MEANS i don't have to follow him on. That, no, no, no, no, no. You submit to your. Husband are there? Limits? Yes number, ONE a wife is not bound to submit to a request that would command Where god. Forbids no one can command What god, forbids nor can anyone forbid What god. Commands that's different THAN i disagree with. THIS i disagree with. That nor can we then get creative with you know What god commands or Where god. Forbids now it's stuff that's clear in. Scripture but, no no one can do That Acts chapter, four verses nineteen and. Twenty But peter And john answered, them whether it is right in the sight Of god to listen to you rather Than, god you must, judge for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and. Heard but even, this they said in, submission they couldn't obey this particular. Command but they respectfully declined based on a higher. Authority there was not arrogance or an unsimpsed attitude. Here so, yeah there are, limits and those limits are. Clear all, Right let's get to the other passage description husbands and their wives let's go To birse twenty. Five, first there's three motivations. Here, one we love our wives because they're part Of christ's. Body, husbands love your wives As christ love The, church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify, her having cleansed her by the washing of water. With the. Word notice something, here so that he might present The church to himself in splendor without spot or, wrinkler any such thing that she may be holy and without. Blemish. Hmm remember what it's all, About christ's headship over his. Body, husbands of your wife Is christ's other, church and give themselves up for her that he might sanctify, her to be sanctified as to be what set, apart set apart as. His christ's headship over his. Body and then having clingsed to her by the washing of water with the, word so that he might present the church to. Himself what's? That that's unity In christ's? Body and then lastly present her to himself in splendor without spot or, wrinkler and such thing that she might be holy and without. Blemish what's that the glory that the body gives to its. Head this has everything to do With. Christ everything to do With. CHRIST a husband's love for his wife grows out of his love For. Christ think about it this. Way this is a sanctifying kind of. Love and the WAY i like to put it is this that a husband who loves his wife rightly is a husband who loves this wife with this thought in. Mind my goal is that she would be more Like christ as a result of having married me than she would have been had she. Not that's a picture of a husband loving his wife As christ loved The. Church she belongs To, jesus and my desire more than anything else is that she would be conformed to the image Of. Christ my desire more than anything else is that my love for, her my marriage to, her would be a tool in the hands Of god That he might use. To make her more Like. Christ more Like christ as a result of being married to me than she would have been had she. Not now, again let's take this back to what we talked about in the earlier. SESSION a woman who's willing to marry an unbelieving. Man if, this if this is what a husband's influence is supposed to be on his, wife what are you saying if you're willing to consider a man who's not even a. Believer, secondly because she's my. Body she's my. Body not only is she a member of his, body but she's a member of my body in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own. Body she who loves his wife loves, himself. For no one ever hated his own, flesh but nourishes and cherishes, it just As christ does The, church because we are members of his. Body so this first motivation is because she's a member Of christ's. Body the second motivation is because she's a member of my. Body, now what's the way this? Works? Again as A, christian my greatest desire Is, Christ, Amen my greatest satisfaction Is. Christ my greatest love Is. Christ as a, Husband god entrusts me with this, woman with this child Of, his this precious creature who submits herself to me and my love and my. Care and because of who she, IS i love her in such a way that my love will impact her so that she's more Like christ as a result of having been married to me than she would have been had she. Not and here's the. Beauty this is the WAY i see the. Picture and so there is this offering being offered up to The. Lord out of an act of, Worship, lord here she. Is you gave her to, Me and as a result of you giving her to, me my love. Has had a sanctifying. Influence and she's more Like. Christ and as an act of worship to, you here's this woman who is more Like christ as a result of being married to. Me and he looks and he, says, enjoy because guess what. If christ is my, everything If christ is my all and, all If he is my greatest joy and my greatest, love then when my wife becomes more like, him it actually increases my ability and desire to love her. More and there is a. Cycle she's conformed to the image Of, christ TO i love more than, anything and my capacity to love her increases more because of her conformity To, christ and in my capacity increasing in loving her, more she is more conformed to the image Of, christ which increases my passage to love her. More because she's more Like. Christ she not just, mind she's. Me and there's a reciprocal beauty here in that my wife's great desire is to see me conform to the image Of. Christ and guess what makes it easier for her to submit to? Me if she gladly submits To, christ And i'm being conformed to the image Of, christ then it becomes less of a burden for her to submit to, me to the degree THAT i become more Like. Look At. God this is what's wrong with this pitching the tent horizontal view of. Marriage, Right two, broken, sinful selfish people are going to get together and make promises to meet each other's needs and to be. Everything, no first of, all you can't do. That second of, all if you, did if my wife became everything THAT i want and need AND i became fully satisfied in, her the result would be idolatry BECAUSE i am not created or designed to be fully satisfied in anyone other Than. God If i'm looking for that from my, wife it's. Idolatry it's. Idolatry so the reality of our marriage has to be vertical before it can be. Horizontal or to go back to. That building, thing we got to dig the deep foundation before we can build a. Skyscraper, Right and that deep foundation is that verse relationship With. God so motivation number one is this idea of her being a member of his. Body, second this idea of her being a member of my. Body and then there's a third, one. This idea of our. Testimony, therefore a man should leave his mother and father and hold fast to his, wife and the two should become one. Flesh this mystery is, profound And i'm saying that it refers To christ in The. Church, ultimately my marriage is more About christ and The church than it is about me And. Bridger believing that changes? Things, amen believing that changes? Things how does it change? Things i'm glad you asked. One it changes things in that it changes my expectations and my. Hopes, right. The current cultural milieu and our approach to marriage is so incredibly, idolatrous and all it can do is. Disappoint all it can do is. Disappoint not to mention the fact that in today's, CULTURE i, mean we love weddings but not. Marriage you, Know i'm, right we love weddings but not. MARRIAGE i, mean, Anyway, okay my time is almost. Gone so there are implications here WHEN i look at marriage this. Way if it's About christ and The, church. What is? Adultery adultery would be like union With christ without? Redemption, right being one with someone other than the? Bride being one was up the text, says Like, christ who loved his church and gave himself for, Her christ died for his. Bride is he going to unite himself then with someone else who's? Not? No adultery breaks this. Picture. Abuse Did christ redeem only to? Destroy absolutely not, polygamy? Polygamy how many brides Does christ have? One he has one, bride The, church his one bride for whom he laid down his. Life abstinence a married couple abstaining from. Sex. Again paul talks about this clearly In First corinthians, Right First corinthians. Seven don't do that unless it's for a specific purpose and a mutually agreed upon, purpose and a limited amount of time for the specific purpose of, prayer and it's a fast. Essentially but other than, that we don't deprive one. Another we don't do. That it's like the church being isolated from its. Savior no intimacy Between christ and his. Bride the church absolutely not. Homosexuality christ turned on. Himself The church turned on. Herself it's unthinkable Divorce christ of benditing his. Bride, no, no, no, no. No that's why when we get. Together if you ever listen to another, REASON i told YOU i don't have to get people to bring their. Vowels, ah, man don't bring me your. VOWELS i got some vowels for. You it's. Serious they're not all, flowery. Right our love, was and you know your. Love your love won't get you to the end of the. Aisle after you finished SAYING i do, Okay uh, no you better have something else besides. That you're talking about some serious, stuff, sickness, hell. Worse and better right till you. Die it's in there till you. Die we get, married what do we. Say we look at each other and we, Say i'm in this TILL i die or you die to one of us. Dies serious, stuff, man. That's. Grave but why do we say those kinds of things because of the, Picture because, listen none of, us none of us have what it takes to do, that to endure. That none of us. Does in, fact if it was just better and not, worse let's be, honest most of, us it just won't be better. Enough if it was just health and not, sickness it wouldn't be helpfulness, enough, Right. It just wouldn't Be But, god. But, god wouldn't we understand that this is more about the truth to which it points than it is about. Us it changes, Things it has tremendous, implications and it gives us some amazing, tools changes our, perspective and no longer is it just this sort of you, know horizontal agreement between two broken. People but it is merely a. Horizontal expression of a vertical reality that is far more significant than anything will ever. Experience so we've dug deep here, today not to the, bedrock but headed in that. DIRECTION i hope that as a result of our time that we've spent here, today you go away differently than we often do when we go away from marriage. Conferences oftentimes we go away from marriage conferences and we got a big list of. Things, man here's fifteen Things i'm not doing. THAT i need to. Do, well first of, all there's way more than fifteen things that you're not doing that you need to. Do but, SECONDLY i hope you understand that as opposed to doing that, today what we've looked at is a number of things that perhaps you haven't been believing that you need to. Believe, that perhaps you haven't been trusting that you need to. Trust because here's the. Thing IF i give you a list of fifteen, things that you're not. Doing it's way smaller than the actual, list and you can master. Those but if you master those fifteen things but you're not believing the right, things you'll be right back where you. Started but if you believe the right things and trust the right, things then it doesn't matter how long your list. Is you've got indicatives for every necessary. Imperative god is. Able god is. Able let's, Pray, father we thank you for this day that you've given, us for this time that you've given. Us thank you for every marriage that is represented, here and for that marriage to which every marriage. Points thank you For christ his love for. His, bride for the redemption that is ours because of that, love and for the meaning that marriage has as it points to that. Love grant by your grace that we might walk in these, truths and that we might do so the glory and honor Our, Lord savior And Master Jesus. Christ. Amen