Biblical Masculinity

I've probably told you this before, but I remember distinctly this day in my neighborhood as a boy growing up, there was this big field in the middle of the project where I used to live. In this big field, we used to play football. The boys gathered together when we played football in this big field. It was almost perfect the field. Again, looking back on it now as a grown man, it might not be quite as big as I thought it was then, but it seemed like this field was at least, you know, seventy eighty yards long, twenty thirty yards wide, this big courtyard type deal. It was perfect, perfect for playing football, except for a couple of things. It was surrounded by sidewalks, so in order to be knocked out of bounds, you'd be knocked onto the sidewalk, and that could be. A little inconvenient. And the other thing was. That there were these sprinklers that ran down the middle of the field, so it was watered by these sprinklers that ran down the middle of the field. So other than the sidelines and the middle of the field, it was perfect for playing football. And I remember one day in particular where we played, where these two young men came to play with us, and I don't remember their names, but I remember they were brothers, and I remember they were from ann Arbor, Michigan. I remember that because I remember distinctly, you know, thinking that they said Antarctica, you know, and I was like, man, there's people in Antarctica. That's awesome, you know. I remember that. And I also remember that after the game that day, everybody went to their apartment, and we were intrigued by them. I was intrigued by them. All of us were intrigued by them. The most intriguing thing about these two boys was the fact that their father lived with them. I did not have a friend growing up whose father lived with them. I didn't know what that looked like for someone's father to live with them. I wanted to see that with my own eyes. I wanted an explanation, Why does your father live with you? I could not comprehend that. I couldn't and I didn't understand until much later, you know, being grown and married. What an impact that had on me. Not necessarily that meeting, but the fact that I grew up under such circumstances that meeting boys whose father lived with them. Had meet awestruck. I didn't understand that until I had to figure out how to be a man and a husband and the father. I didn't get that. It wasn't a total loss because, as I've told you before, you know, when I got a little older again, my mother, single teenage mother raising me and drug infested, gang infested south central Los Angeles, California. When I got old enough for her to realize that I needed someone to grab a hold of the reins of my life, and that she is a woman, wasn't going to be able to do it to the degree that. I needed it. She was wise enough and committed enough to ship me out and we left. And that's when I lived for that year with my uncle, who was the retired drill instructor in the Marine Corps, who, yeah, turned my life around. One year with a man in the house. It was unbelievable the impact that it had on me. I was a different person in that one year of having a man in the house. God designed us in such a way. God designed the family in such a way that there are roles that we play that bring about the greatest benefit to our children and to the next generation. Now, the difficulty with that is that we live in a culture that has all but completely negated those roles, and so it becomes very difficult for us. It's hard for young men to understand what it means to be a man. How do you define manhood? How do you exercise your manhood? We don't know that with the large numbers of young men who are growing up without fathers in their homes, and the even larger number who are growing up with passive fathers who may as well not be in their homes, we don't know. Most young men in our culture learn manhood from the television, and they go to extremes because of that. And so on the one hand, we have Archie Bunker. You know, those of you older in the room, don't act like you don't know who Archie Bunker was. Okay, this you know this, This this insensitive, you know, overbearing, just. Peach of a man, Archie Bunker. And then you go to the other extreme, where you have the passivity of you know that everybody loves Raymond of the world or the or the or the incompetence of who's the two men? You know, Tim? Is it Tim Taylor? Tim? The two man? You know, absolutely incompetent. It's been a long time since we've seen a father on television who was both competent and masculine and at the same time had any modicum of decency or sensitivity to him. I think about that, and I'm thinking, what Bill Cosby, you know Cosby show. Maybe it is the last time we saw anything like that with any you know, any semblance of balance. And so we have young men who are going up today have no idea what it means to be a man. There's no sense of as it relates to being a man. And as a result of that, we try to figure it out. And on the one hand, you get the man who's rambo, who's the ogre, who's the overbearing, hyper masculine, abusive, oppressive man. Or on the other hand, you get the feminized wimp, the jellyfish who never stands up and never plays the man. But how do we distinguish between those? How do we find a balance? Or is it our goal to find a balance between those? I want to make another suggestion. Our goal is not to find our way into manhood or womanhood. Our goal is to discover what the God who created men and women has to say about what men and women are supposed to be and when we do this, we are often surprised because, whoever you are, your understanding of manhood is shaped by a couple of things. Number one, it's shaped by your father. Number two, it's shaped by your mother. And number three, it's shaped by whoever had the lion's share of those fourteen thousand and seat hours that we call education. Those three things shape your understanding of manhood. Your father shapes your understanding of manhood. You look at your father and you either say that's a man. I'm going to be like him. Or if your father disappointed you or abandoned you, then you look at your father and you say, I am going to be anything but what that man is. He shaped your understanding of manhood. Your mother helps shape your view of manhood by the way that she responds to your father. And so if your mother responds favorably favorably toward your father, it helps shape a more positive image in your mind, not just of manhood, but of the kind of manhood reflected by your father. If your mother is negative towards your father, if your mother despised your father, if your mother dishonored your father, then she helps to shape your view of manhood based upon her reaction to what it is that your father epitomized. So whoever you are here and the other thing is those fourteen thousand seed dollars kindergarten through twelfth grade, fourteen thousand set hours in school. Jesus said in Luke chapter six and verse forty, a student is not above his teacher, but everyone, when he is fully trained, will be like his teacher. Aside from your father and your mother, the greatest shaping influence in your life as to what you think manhood is supposed to be is where, how, and by whom you were educated. This also means, parents, that the greatest influences on your children's understanding of manhood and womanhood is their father, their mother and how she reacts to him, and those fourteen thousand seas hours that we call education. Now I say that that because of this you have an opinion about manhood, and your opinion about manhood. Is shaped by those factors. Now, as we walk through Genesis chapters one through eleven, we have come to Genesis chapter two and verse fifteen, and we're going to look at a biblical portrait of manhood. So as we look at the biblical portrait of manhood. Here are some things that I want you to be aware of. Number one, as we look at the Biblical portrait of manhood, here's what I want you to be aware of. Number one, God is not running for God. Amen. There's a lot of people asking for your vote right now. God's not one of them. Okay, God's not running for God. Well what does that mean? That means as we look at the Bible and at what God says about manhood, you have a couple of choices. Choice number one is look at what the Bible says about manhood sifted through the grid of your mother, your father, and your education, and say God. Is out to lunch. Or we can look at this portrait of manhood and see things and hear things in the text that sort of run cross grain to maybe what we saw in our father, what we learned from my mother, and what we learn from our education, and say, praise God for his truth. Let God be true in every man a liar. So that's number one. God's not running for God. Here's number two that I want you to keep in mind as we go through this picture of biblical manhood and womanhood really today's biblical manhood. That's where we are in the text. I want you to see this. We live in a culture that is radically, radically dysfunctional and diametrically opposed to the biblical picture of manhood. Radically dysfunctional and diametrically opposed to this picture of biblical manhood. That's the culture in which we live. Listen to this. This is from Chela Tobias. She writes this in Faces of Feminism, an activist reflection on the Woman's Movement. Chelttle Tobias says, in feminist theory, gender unlike sex, is defined as. A socially constructed role. Don't miss that you notice people talk about gender in our culture and not sex. There's a reason they use gender and not sex. From an academic perspective and from a clinical perspective, there's a reason we use gender in not sex. Chela Tobias is explaining this. In feminist theory, gender unlike sex is defined as a social construct or a socially constructed role, which means that it is the result of political arrangements and is amenable to social and political analysis. To understand this idea, we have to think about roles the way social scientists do, not as God or nature determined, but as how and with what rationale a particular culture distributes certain tasks, certain privileges, and certain responsibilities. So here's what she says. Gender is a socially constructed concept. So don't go to the Bible and ask yourself, what does God say a man is supposed to be? What does God say a woman is supposed to be? No? No, no, no no. You go to the culture and you ask a very simple question, what have we agreed men and women are supposed to be and what their roles are supposed to be. That's the question you have to ask. By the way, what has been the result of this? Listen to this from Rosemarie Hoffman. This is in the Journal of Counseling and Development. This is this. Like most psychological constructs, see that phrase, masculinity and femininity are abstract concepts. Yet for several decades, researchers have been unsuccessful in adequately measuring masculinity and femininity, which suggests that these constructs may be more elusive than most. Nevertheless, there are numerous instruments and scales designed to assess femininity and masculinity that are widely used today by a range of individuals. From researchers in counseling, psychology, and education to human resource personnel. Unfortunately, exactly what is being assessed is often given only cursory consideration by researchers and consumers alike, resulting in in potentially misleading conclusions and assumptions about those individuals whose masculinity and femininity are under scrutiny. Here's what she said. We don't know what masculinity infeminity is, so when as psychologists we are helping people in issues of masculinity in femininity, we're driving without directions. That's what she just said in this journal of counseling. Because masculinity and femininity are completely abstract and up for grabs. We don't know what it is. Now. We have some things that we've designed to measure masculinity in femininity, but they don't agree with one another. So as a trained, degreed professional academic, she says, we're driving blind when it comes to manhood and womanhood. Isn't that interesting? Hundreds of dollars per hour for somebody to help you understand something that they can't even define. That's where we are. That's what it's gotten us. And in the words of that famous theologian doctor Phil how's that working for you? The answer, it's not. Men and women are miserable, absolutely miserable. Marriages are miserable, absolutely miserable, as we try to negotiate in and of ourselves what it's supposed to look like. So let's look here Genesis chapter two. And again last week we looked at biblical environmentalism, which is something that you would. Never expect, but it's there in the text. And because we're committed to systematic exposition, there's stuff that we just run into. Amen, here's one that we've just run into, this picture of biblical manhood, beginning at verse fifteen of chapter two, and we'll spend a couple of weeks on this passage. Well, i'll read it all. The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, you may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die. Then the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. You just need to pause right there for a minute. She need pause right there for a minute. We have to read the scriptures carefully. Now through all of the days of creation, there has been a pattern, and this pattern has happened every day of creation. God says, let there be, then there was, it was good. That's the pattern. Day one, let there be, then there was, it was good. They two, let there be, then there was it was good. Day three, let there be, then there was it was good. They four, day five, day six, All of those days, let there be, then there won it was good. This is the first time God says something is not good, first time in the whole Bible that God says something is not good. What's that? Something that he says is not good for man to be alone? He's not good and. Does just means that every man is supposed to be married. Now, it's not what it means. We'll get to that next week when we talk more specifically about marriage. That's not what it means. If God's called a man to be single and gifted a man to be single or a woman to be single, then praise God, that's what they're called to. Jesus addresses that in Matthew chapter nineteen talks about some people being eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom, some people being called to singleness for the sake of the kingdom. So that's not the point here. However, if God's called a man to be married and has not gifted him to a single and he is Lord helped that man, Amen, I will make him a helper fit for him. Now out of the ground, the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the livestock, to all the birds of the heavens, and every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, took one of his ribs and close up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed. Here we have a picture, our first picture of biblical manhood, of what God intended as it relates to a man. It is a broad strokes look at biblical manhood. We'll develop it more as we go through these next few weeks, and look at man in the general context, look at man in the context of marriage, and then look at man in the context of this covenant relationship with God when we see the fall and the accountability of man in the fall. We'll get to that, that more full old picture. But now we're talking about the basics, just broad strokes. What are the basics as it relates to a man. What are the basics as it relates to that sort of baseline. Minimalist look at what a real man is supposed to be? First? Is this A real man is a man who's committed to God honoring work. A real man is a man who's committed to God honoring work. Look at this verse fifteen. The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden to work it and keep it. That's the first thing we see about this man. That's number one. We don't get his characteristics. We don't know what he looks like, we don't know his personality, we don't know anything. The first thing we know about Adam is Adam had a job. Amen, hallelujah, praise the Lord. So when your daughters are considering suitors, question number one, can he hold down a job? Amen? A real man is a man who is committed to God honoring work. Now, listen to this. This cuts across the grain of our culture because in our culture, here's what we believe. We believe a real man is a man who's rich enough not to have to work. Come on, now, you know that's what we believe. That's what our culture believes. The ultimate picture of manhood in our culture is that man who is independently wealthy, or that man who retires at forty. That's the American dream. Now, you just work for a few years, you say, for a few years, or you hit the lottery or whatever, and then you coast, you get on easy street where you don't have to work. Folks, that is not a biblical concept. God designed men to work. He said, wait a minute, wait, time out, time out, time out. I thought work was a product of the fall. No, no, no, no, no. Work happened long before the fall. The product of the fall was the harshness of the work, the thorns and the thistles, and the sweat of the brow. The product of the fall is us not liking work. Amen, that's the product of the fall. But work in and of itself is not a product of the fall. So if we believe this, if we believe that biblical manhood starts with a man being committed to God honoring work, then there's a couple of things that we also need to be committed to, like for example, because this is carried over into the New Testament. Look with me, if you will at first Timothy chapter five one. Timothy chapter five, in verse eight. If a man does not provide for his relatives, especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. A man who will not work to support his family is denying the faith. He's worse than an unbeliever. That's what the text teaches. If he will not work, if he's not committed to working. If he's a lazy man who won't do it. If he's not willing to roll up his sleeves and do any and everything in his power to provide for his household, the Bible says he has denied the faith. He is worse than an unbeliever. What should our attitude be in such circumstances? Well, turn back with me to the left and look, maybe just a page or two at Second Thessalonians chapter three. Second Thessalonian Chapter three, he says, now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, Because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it. But with toil and labor, we worked night and day that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. Listen to this. Paul's an apostle. He had every right as an apostle to have every financial need taken care of by the Church. Every right as an apostle for his labor, to be the labor in the Word, and to have every financial need taken care of by those for whom he labored in the Word. But evidently in Thessalonika a problem, and the problem was with idleness. So they did not allow the Church to support them so that they could model for the church how a man ought to work. Look at the next part of this, for even when we were with you, we would give you this command. If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. You want to know why we don't. Have a food bank and why we're not interested in a food bank through this church, because most food bank ministries operate in direct violation of this biblical principle. They give out food to people with total disregard for whether or not these people are walking in idleness or laziness. The Bible says, if a man won't work, don't feed him, don't do it. God does not abide lazy men, and neither should we. Amen don't do it. Let him be hungry is one of the greatest motivators in the history of the world. People again he says, if a man's not willing to work. It's a difference between a man who's not willing to work and a man who for whatever reason can't work. That's what true biblical benevolence is about. True biblical benevolence is about when there's a brother who's committed to work and he's walking with God, he has not denied the faith. Or there's a woman who's been abandoned by a man who, by the way, a man who abandons a woman and does not take care of his responsibilities with his children and with his home has denied the faith, and he's worse than an unbeliever. You remember that from First Timothy chapter five, and so the Bible doesn't say that then this woman is to be punished because of that, there's to be no benevolence. No First Timothy chapter five walks us through biblical benevolence for women who have been left in that situation. Or if there's a brother who for whatever reason has some traum in his life, we step in and we assist and we help. But the brother who comes in who's lazy, we are obligated as followers of Christ to look him in his eye and say if you don't work, we won't feed you. We love you enough to let you go hungry. I mean, you love me, and if you love me, you would you would you would give me something. No, uh huh, no, not at all. By the way, this is one of the hardest things to communicate to people with lazy sons. I can't tell you how many times I've run into people, and I've run into families and they have sons in their home who they never taught to work hard. And these sons grow up and become lazy men. And then you have mothers and fathers who are doling out money to support lazy sons to whom they ought to be looking in the eye and saying, listen, you are grown and you've chosen to be lazy. And as followers of Christ, we are obligated to say to you, go be hungry until you're motivated to work. Hardest thing in the world to do, hardest thing in the world to do. But that's why, while our sons are young, it's our job to teach them to work hard, because that is the first distinguishing mark of true biblical manhood. And it's hard to do. Why because they're born in sin and shaped in iniquity, and as sinners, we don't like to work. Amen, how lo you praise the Lord. We want to find the path of least resistance. True biblical manhood is aren't by a commitment to God honoring work. And notice I said God honoring work. You ever know men out there who will give all kinds of effort to things that are shady, but won't do God honoring work. That's not true biblical manhood. It's not. It's not you young women in here who are thinking about suitors and considering suitors. Hear this, Please hear this. If a man doesn't work, not only should you not feed him, but you should not court him either. Amen. If he's not committed to God honoring work, that doesn't mean he has to be rich. Don't mean that he has to be committed to God honoring work. You listen, ladies, you could be happier with a man who's a hard working man who collects trash for a living than you could with a man who's wealthy and lazy. Why Because if he's wealthy and lazy, he's not exemplifying biblical manhood. Did you see. That that's the first thing. Secondly, not only is he committed to god honoring work. Let get the second part of this, he's also committed to the commandments of God. The Lord God commanded the man saying, you may surely eat of every tree of the garden. But if the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die. This commandment from God. It's interesting we talk about the commandments of God and we think, what the Ten Commandments, right, and we think, okay, the commandments of God, they're just those things that we find in the Ten Commandments. News flash, Adam just got a commandment from God. Amen, you can e from all at him. Is one however, in the middle of the garden. Don't touch that one. That's a commandment from God. And so a man is a true man from a Biblical perspective when he is committed to God honoring work. And secondly, when he is committed to the commandments of God. Is he committed to living his life in accordance with the dictates of the God of the Bible. Is that what he's committed to, or he's he committed to satisfying his own desires by whatever means necessary. Is he committed to righteousness? Is he committed to truth? Is he committed to the God of heaven? Or is he just committed to doing whatever is arry to get what he wants when he wants it the way he wants it. True biblical manhood is committed to the commandments of God. He's committed to them by the way. You know, when potential suit come around, I'm just so excited. You know. So I have a daughter who's you know, moving toward that age. Now, I'm just really looking forward to having these young men come around. Yeah, you think my court and my daughter. What are the ten commandments? Sir? Yeah, I'm wanting you to tell me the ten commandments. Sir yeah. I want you to divide them for me too. Want you to give me the first table of the law, then the second table of the law. And I want you to explain the difference between the first table of the law and the second table of the law. Sir. Yeah, you know, first table those vertical commandments, second table those horizontalmandments. Give them to me, sir, Okay, come back when you know, son, Amen, A man who doesn't know the law is not going to keep the law. You have all that. A man who doesn't know the law is not going to keep them law. You ever found yourself riding down a highway and all of a sudden you see a policeman. When you see a policeman, there are two things that happen instantaneously when you see the cop. You're riding down the highway and you see a policeman. The first thing that happens instantaneously is you slow down. That's number one. Even if you go on a speed limit, you see a cop, you slow down. Here's the second thing you do. You try to remember the last speed limit sign you saw. That's what you do. Kind of hard to keep the law if you don't know it, if you haven't been looking for the speed limit signs, it's hard for you to obey the speed limit signs. So all of a sudden, when the. Officer comes, and if, by the way, the officer pulls you over, the last thing you want to say is you know, an officer, I really didn't know what the speed limit was because I didn't. Because he will look at you and he will. Say, sir, ignorance of the law is no excuse, and you'll have to say, I'm sorry. I really liked the uniform. It's a real pretty car. You got too. I was going to see my mama. She in the hospital. She's real sick. And you. Committed to the commandments of God, committed to the commandments of God? Are you, as a man committed to the commandments of God? Do you know the commandments of God? Are you aware of your obligation to God to obey him? Are you aware of that? Are you aware of the standard that God has set for your behavior, for your conduct, for your righteousness? Are you aware of that? Because if you're not aware of it, you are not going to keep it. You're not well. We're talking about legalism orre we talking about this? No? Absolutely not. We're not talking about legalism, because that's not how you're saved. We're saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ. Alone, to the glory of God alone. Amen. However, according to Ephesians chapter two, he saved us for what good works that He prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. How are we going to walk in the righteousness that God desires for us to walk in if we don't know the law. Here's another question, because One of the things that we're going to see when we get to chapter three is Adam was responsible for teaching law. He fell down on the job. How's a man going to teach his wife and children the law of God if he doesn't know it. So, if I, as a father, sign off on a suitor who does not know the law, I am signing off on a suitor who will not lead my daughter in righteousness and will not lead my grandchildren in righteousness. If I sign off on a suitor who does not know and is not committed to the law of God, that's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. I can't do that. I can't do that. True biblical manhood is about a man being committed to god honoring work. It's about a man being committed to the law of God. And thirdly, it's about a man being committed to the family. It's about a man being committed to the family. Look at the next part of this, the next part of this. You know, God goes through this, and we'll look at this more as we look at marriage tomorrow. But God goes through and has Adam to name the animals. You know, Adam names the animals and you know, there's somebody for everybody, nobody for him. God puts him to sleep. God fashions the woman. God wakes him up. This is at last bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Esha because she was taken out of ish. I love that in the Hebrew. It's a beautiful passage in the Hebrew. He looks at this woman, and because of the way that he values this woman, he makes this incredible statement of equality. And that statement is she is made of the same stuff that I'm made of. The rest of this stuff that I named, that's not part of me. This right here, this is part of me. I'm ish Man. She's Esha because she was taken out of man. But there is an incredible phrase that comes at the end of this passage. Look at it there in verse twenty four. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. The fifth commandment is honor your father and your mother. That's our responsibility to honor our father and our mother. By the way, in one Timothy chapter five, we also see that it's our responsibility to look after our parents when they can no longer look after themselves. So we see in the scriptures that we're responsible to honor our parents. And if he's just chapter six and verse one, we see that we're responsible to. Obey our parents. And yet. The Bible says there's one instance and one relationship and one only where a man is to leave his mother and father and cleave to somebody else. That relationship is marriage. What does this mean? This means that until a man is committed to a wife in marriage, he's committed to his household. I get this question all the time from people, And you get this question all the time too. I know they go, well, you guys are a family integrated church. And I understand that you're a family integrated church. And you know, I can see that. I can understand that, But I'm just wondering, you know, what do you guys do about singles? I mean, what do we do about them? We don't eat them, if that's what you're asking. I mean, what I mean, what do we do about singles? Well, well, you know, it just it would just seem you know, if you're a family integrated church, then maybe singles, you know, we just wouldn't have a place there or singles just wouldn't have a what they're not a part of a family. Any any of our singles in here today not part of a family. I just okay, last time I checked, everybody's part of a family. There's only been one man in history who wasn't part of a family. That was Adam, and that only lasted until he got put to sleep. Amen. From that moment on, every human being that's ever been born has been part of a family. So if you're here today and you are single, what is your job? Your job is to plug in and play your role in the household that God has placed you in until he gives you another household. That's your job. Your job is to honor your mother, honor your father, Obey your mother, obey your father. Your job is to give selflessly to that household until such a time as God takes you away from it and places you in another household. That's your job. Biblical manhood is marked by a commitment to the family. So sad what we see in our culture today. What we see in our culture today is this this picture that says a young man is in his household, not committed to his household, He's just in his household. He eats there, he sleeps there, he gets his clothes washed there. It's not committed to it. He's got his own world and his own life. And then when he's eighteen, he goes off and he leaves, never again to return, and he's no longer a part to that household. Nothing could be further from biblical truth. You're a part of that household. You're a single man or a single woman in this room today, you commit yourself to giving and doing whatever you can to the place that God placed you, where he gave you life or he nurtured you. You give to that place. You honor that place with every fiber of your being. You honor that household. You respect that household. Because here's what you don't want to do, single young person. You don't want to dishonor your household and then go start another one and ask God to bless that. Do you see the irony there? God, I have dishonored the household that you gave me, but now I've established another one, and I would really appreciate your blessing here. Thank you very much. He's committed to the family before he's married. He's committed to that household from whence he came. After he's married, he's committed to the household that has now been established. Biblical manhood is marked by a commitment to the family. I am honored honored to be an elder at this church. And one other reason I am so honored to be an elder at this church is because of you men, because of your commitment to your families, because of your commitment to your household. I am humbled by it. I'm humbled by it. I have watched some of you leave jobs before because they were asking from you more than you were willing to give, because you would have to compromise in your household. And there are some of you right in front of me right now. I'm humbled by you because you have been willing to live on less so that you could commit yourself to your household. I'm humbled by that. There are some of you who've moved across country to be here, to be part of a church that honors the family the way you honor the family. I'm humbled by that, especially especially because I travel all over this country and all over this world, and everywhere I go I run into women who wish they had men like the men. In this church. Who are begging God for a man who will step up and be the spiritual leader of his household. And it is a privilege to be an elder in a church where a mass you men are admitted to that. It is an honor, and it's changing the world, whether you know it or not. Listen to this. Nearly seventy five percent of fatherless American children will experience poverty before the age of eleven, compared to only twenty percent of those raised with two parents. Children living in homes where fathers are absent are far more likely to be expelled from school. They are also more likely to drop out of school, develop emotional or behavioral problems, commit suicide, or fall victim to child abuse or neglect. Fatherless males are far more likely to become violent criminals. Fatherless males make up seventy percent of the prison population serving long term sentences. Seventy percent of the prison population now serving long term sentences in America are men who were fatherless. How important are fathers? Listen to this. Marriages linked to. Higher levels of health and happiness, lower levels of alcohol and drug abuse in both adults and teens. Marriage is a wealth creating institution. Married couples earn more, save more, build more wealth compared to people who are single or living together. There is an inverse relationship between marriage and crime. In communities where marriage is common, crime is much less common. Marriage is our most pro child institution. It is our society's best arrangement for helping children to thrive. And the missing ingredient in our culture nine times out of ten is men who are not committed to the family. A man who is not committed to the family is harming himself, He's harming his children, he's harming his future, and he is harming his entire society. But the inverse of that is also true. A man who is committed to God honoring work, a man who's committed to the commandments of God, and a man who is committed to his family is a man who is bringing down blessings from heaven on himself. Is a man who is calling down blessings from heaven on his wife and on his children, And a man who is bringing down blessings from heaven on his future and on his society as well. Again, this is the broad strokes sketch of biblical manhood. This is the bare minimum here, This is the ground floor stuff. These are the basics, but they are the basics without which we get nothing else. If a man's not committed to god honoring work, if he's not committed to the commandments of God, and he's not committed to the family, how are you gonna help him be a better husband? What are you gonna do? How are you gonna help him be a better man? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? There's nothing you can do. My prayer is that you would continue to commit yourselves men, to being the kind of men that you have been and that you are being, but that you would take it a step further, that you would let your light so shine before the world that they might see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. I want to encourage you if you haven't been committed to hospitality in your home. And we talk about this all the time, there is nothing more attractive in this world than a well ordered, god honoring family. Half people in your home, half people around your table. Be this kind of man, be this kind of family, and watch the way God uses it. Because people are hurting and dying inside, because they don't know how to make it work. And if you've not been this kind of man, man, suggest you come to a place of repentance today. If you've not been a man who's committed to God honoring work, if you're a lazy man, you need to repent, you do. If you're not a man who's committed to the commandments of God, if you're not getting into the word and getting the Word into you so that you can know who God is and what it is that God requires of you, so that you can then in turn communicate that through your actions, your words, and your deeds and your household. Then repent. Repent. And if you're a man who has not been committed to your family and you've just had us all fooled, repent. Repent. If you don't treat your wife like she's one flesh, if you don't cherish her, if you don't teach her the law of God, if you don't talk to her about the things of God, and if you don't treat her like she is bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. If you don't honor her, My prayer for you is that you would repent. And ladies, if you've got a man like this, and you haven't appreciated him, You've dishonored him. My call to you is the same, repent. Repent. If you've got a man who's committed to God honoring work, if you got a man who's committed to the law of God, and you've got a man who's committed to your family, then you need to look him in his eyes and tell him that you are grateful to God for gifting you with him as a husband and as the father of your children. You need to do that. You need to do that. Let's pray. Father. I thank you. That you have not left us to wander aimlessly in the dark inn issues so basic as what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman. I thank you for our ultimate example of manhood, Jesus Christ, who laid down his life for his bride, the Church, and who calls up us to love our wives in the same way that he laid loved the church. I thank you. For the godly men under the sound of my voice, committed to God, honoring work, committed to the law of God, committed to their families. I thank you for a church. That stands for that. And that refuses to settle for less than that, and that holds all of us as men accountable to that standard. We bothered before you today, recognizing that in and of ourselves we can't make it. We can't get there from here. We desperately need the presence and power of your spirit to be the men that you've called us to be. And so we asked that you would shower us with your grace, grant us your presence and your power, that we might pursue your truth in the way that we live our lives. We love you, and we are grateful to you. May we hear and heed what it is that you've said, because we believe that it's in accordance with the will and the nature and the authority of Christ, our ultimate example of biblical manhood, and whose name we pray Amen.