The Prison Of Offense

0:00:01.560 --> 0:00:02.840 Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick. 0:00:02.840 --> 0:00:05.840 I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast. 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:08.360 I wanted to thank you for joining us today. Hope 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:10.719 this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith. 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:12.880 Hope it gives your perspective to see God is moving 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:13.600 in your life. 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:18.680 Enjoy the message and must continue in this series. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:24.680 The other half, we believe great relationships still exist. We 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:27.440 don't believe that every marriage has to be dysfunctional. 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:28.400 Amen. 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:30.680 We don't believe parents have to hate their kids, kids 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:34.000 hate their parents. We believe that Christ offers us plenty 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:36.360 of wisdom and the scripture about not only how to 0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:38.400 relate to Him, but how to relate to one another. 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:40.640 And we also believe that you can't worship Christ properly 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:43.199 and treat people like craps. So sometimes you got to 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:45.600 get it right at this horizontal level before the vertical level. 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:47.519 Last week when I left you, I taught you how 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:49.640 to put down the magnifying glass, Thank you worship team, 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.360 and pick up a mirror. Because sometimes when you're looking 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.639 to change stuff in other people, the place you need 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:56.440 to start the most is in yourself. Because if you 0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:57.840 don't see yourself correctly, how in the world. 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.000 Can you help anybody else with their own issues. 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:02.639 You're just going to end up projecting your dysfunctions onto them, 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:04.160 and then you be fixing things that are really wrong 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:05.720 with you, but trying to fix it on the platform 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:06.400 of their life. 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:07.320 And that won't be good. 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:08.920 That won't help you stay married, it won't help you 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:10.600 make friends, it won't help you raise. 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:11.680 Your children or anything like that. 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:13.840 So I want to continue along those same lines today 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:15.640 and go back to the words of Jesus and the 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:16.479 sermon on the Mount. 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:17.479 I want to pick up. 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:20.040 In Matthew chapter five, verse twenty one through twenty six. 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:22.560 And I know you're excited to study God's word today, 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:24.120 and I'm excited to preach. 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:25.399 I want to talk to you about the. 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:29.600 Prison of offense, and I believe God is going to 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:33.640 set some people free today from the prison of offense. 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:36.440 And I asked that you pray for me as I speak, 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:40.039 that I might speak with accuracy in a way that 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:41.080 would liberate people. 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:43.880 Jesus says, you have heard that it was. 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:47.960 Said to the people long ago, you shall not murder. 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:53.520 This begins a series of six theological upgrades that Jesus 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:54.960 Christ has come to reveal. 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:56.440 He's taking some. 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:02.720 Wisdom that has passed down and deluded from the law 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:04.280 of Moses, and he. 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:05.240 Is showing how his. 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:11.000 Perfect wisdom is the fulfillment of what began in Moses. 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:16.200 And he begins with this idea that long before something 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.400 happens in our lives, it happened. 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:19.040 In our heart. 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.080 I said, long before something happens in your life, it 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:27.800 happened in your heart. And he says that there's this 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:31.040 command you shall not murder, and anyone who murders will 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:35.200 be subject to judgment. But I tell you that anyone 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:38.920 who is angry with a brother or sister will be 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:43.480 subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:49.080 or sister raka, I don't even know what that means, 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:50.760 but that sounds like a cushword. 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:53.280 It's got that hard consonant in the middle. 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:58.720 If you say that to your brother and sister, you 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:01.119 are answerable to the court or the Sanhedrin. 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:04.720 And anyone who. 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:09.840 Says to a brother or sister, you fool, will be 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:11.720 in danger of the fire of hell. 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:15.160 That kind of scares me because I've said some. 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:21.040 Worse things than raca and you fool, And I don't 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.480 want to go to hell. But watch this, he said, 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:27.840 in the knowledge of this, that what starts in the 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:31.440 heart doesn't stay in the heart. What starts as a 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:34.680 thought and turns into a word can actually create a 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:36.720 living hell in your life. You know, you can turn 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.560 your home into a living hell just. 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:43.240 By what you allow to access your heart. You really can. 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:48.000 You can turn a beautiful relationship into a garbage dump. 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:50.360 In fact, when Jesus says that you be in. 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:53.400 Danger of the fires of hell, he's not so much 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:54.840 speaking of something. 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:56.440 Abstract and theoretical. 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:00.680 He's referring to Gahinna, which did you people would have 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:03.280 been familiar with. It was like a place where they 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:07.120 used to sacrifice humans. They would sacrifice their babies to 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:10.640 the false god Molik, and they abandoned that practice, but 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.200 they kept it as a garbage dump. And it said 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:17.039 that the fires of Gahinna never never actually went out, 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:20.880 and so there was always a smoldering fire in Gahinna. 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:23.200 And he's bringing up this place, and he's saying that 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:28.159 anger within your heart and unresolved conflict in your relationships, 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:31.040 it can make your heart a living hell. 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:34.560 I hope you guys enjoyed the sermon. Last week. 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:36.159 This was gonna be a little different this week, So 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:41.440 I hope you're but there's a reality to be examined 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:45.760 here about the progression of offenses in our lives. Have 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:49.240 you noticed that we live in an age of perpetual offense? 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:53.040 I mean everybody is. 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.440 Offended about everything all the time. 0:04:56.680 --> 0:05:00.680 No, I'm serious. I have to pray for twenty minutes before. 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:05.000 I post anything on Instagram or Facebook, just to think 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.719 about how could I possibly phrase this where. 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:11.080 I won't offend somebody. I remember a couple of years 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:13.760 ago that I put and this is years ago and 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:14.760 I still remember it. 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.760 I put something on Twitter that I thought was very 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:19.000 clever because I. 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:22.080 Was studying a sermon on sanctification, and I was trying 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:24.520 to find a way to preach about sanctification that wouldn't 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.040 put the people to sleep. Because if I just stand 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:28.320 up to say I'm going to talk to you today 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:31.359 about sanctification, I would lose a lot of my audience 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:34.960 that isn't as spiritual as Brad. So I was trying 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:37.479 to just put it in real terms, and God gave. 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:37.880 Me this phrase. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:42.000 He said, you should live in your sermon. People don't 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:44.720 need sermons that smell like a library. They need sermons 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.000 that smell like real life. 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:50.800 And I was so impressed with that thought I put 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:51.560 it on Twitter. 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.840 I said, sermons should smell less like a library and 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:58.960 more like real life. And this lady tweeted me back 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:02.359 she was a library. She wanted me to know she 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:06.360 was highly offended. She said, great, just what I needed 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:10.080 my pastor taking shots at my chosen career and profession. 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:10.719 How would you. 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:12.640 Feel if you were a library? And well, lady, I 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:20.600 didn't mean it like all that, just offendable. Christians are 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.840 the most offendable people on the planet, which is kind 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:27.160 of ironic considering that our whole religion revolves around a 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:31.320 relationship with somebody that dropped every offense that we had 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:36.800 committed against him. That's kind of weird to me. I'm serious, man, 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:40.120 you have to be really careful. People just get offended. 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:43.320 I know I'm easily offended. God's working with me on this. 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:44.960 He spoke to me a while back. 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:47.200 He said, the reason. 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:49.080 Is so hard for you to stay happy is because 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:52.720 it's so easy for you to get offended. If you 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:54.719 want to make it easier to stay happy, make it 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:58.200 harder for you to get offended. So I'm working on 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:04.120 this becoming unofendable project, and I want to invite you 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:07.320 in on it because Jesus says that this offense, however 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:11.200 it started with your brother and sister, if you entertain it, it. 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:12.240 Creates a living hell. 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:15.040 It spirals out of control, things can sink, things can 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:17.240 spin out of control so quick you don't even know 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:24.360 what's happening. And the enemy's agenda in your life is destruction. 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:26.520 Thief comes to kill, still and destroyer. 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:32.160 That's John chapter ten, verse ten, note takers, and his 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:36.480 agenda is destruction. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:38.760 God's giver. Inemy's taker wants to destroy every good thing 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:41.200 that God puts in your life. Okay, that's his agenda. 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:46.840 His strategy is division. Jesus shared with us in Matthew 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:50.160 twelve twenty five that a house divided against itself can't stand. 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:54.400 Abraham Lincoln didn't say that, Jesus said it. Jesus said 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:56.560 that if the enemy wants to destroy your house, the 0:07:56.600 --> 0:07:58.640 first thing he must do to destroy your house is 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:02.800 to divide your health. Are there any newly married couples 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:08.320 in church today? Newly married? Why are you clapping? 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:13.040 For them. They haven't proven anything yet. Is that pity? 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:17.400 Applause? Newly married couples? Just one more time and I 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:21.520 see Rachie. I'm saying like, maybe, like you're newly married? 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.400 How new a year? That counts? Would you come on 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:25.160 the stage? Do you mind? 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:27.920 I don't want to embarrass you in anyway. Is your 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:28.440 wife here? 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:30.200 She's not here. 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:36.920 You gotta sit down and you would have been great too. 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.920 Anybody here with your wife that's newly married. You guys 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:41.720 actually made it to church together today. 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:44.600 I'm just kidding. I'm sure she's serving any kis. Would 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.640 you two years? Two years? 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:49.360 Yeah? Come on, if you don't mind, come on, let's 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:50.160 get my hand. 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:52.679 Come on, guys, go on my hand. This is brave man. 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:56.120 I have no idea what they're getting into now. I'm 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.120 not just gonna preach about married. It's coach day, but 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:00.520 I think if I use a marriage illustration, imply relationship. 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:03.600 Keep talking while they come. Come on, guys, can talk 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:10.520 to your name Stephanie and Dan. Good to have you guys, Yeah, yeah, 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:11.960 come on all the way off. That'll be great. 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:13.559 Let me show you what the devil wants to do 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:15.880 in your relationship. Because God said that the two shall 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:19.480 become one. This is exactly what the enemy wants. So 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:22.240 every battle you're gonna fight, every argument about the dishes, 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:27.240 really it's a it's the enemies. The enemy's agenda is destruction. 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:34.079 And so his strategy is division. And the enemy, I 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:35.280 don't know if you believe in the devil or not, 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:37.679 but the enemy, Stephanie's not going to be happy until 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.840 he sees you like this. And what I just showed you, 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:42.559 the Bible says that marriage is even a picture of 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:44.440 Christ and the church. So what he wants to do 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:46.040 to them, he wants to do to this whole church, 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:49.400 and what he wants to do to them he wants 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:50.760 to do to you and your teenage or what he 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:57.000 wants to does them, And and so his his agenda 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:01.160 is destruction. He comes to kill still destroy. Histrategy is 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:03.360 the vision. And here's his tactic. And this is the 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:05.240 part I want to preach about. And I appreciate you 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:06.679 helping me, because you guys can help me preach a 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:08.760 sermon today. 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:11.240 His tactic is offense. 0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:17.160 Satan has an offensive strategy because if he walked up 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:18.640 to you, I don't know how I forgot your name 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:22.120 already tell me one more time, Dan, Dan, Dan the man, 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:24.960 Come on, is Dan the man? 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:25.520 Everybody? 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:31.120 And if the devil we're not subtle, Dan wouldn't stand 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:32.040 for his schemes. 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:37.120 But the enemy is very strategic, and Jesus. 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:39.120 Is giving us, really in Matthew chapter five, kind of 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.079 a playbook of how the enemy wants to work in 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:42.800 your relationship. 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.000 And I know Dan's not going to let him, but 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:45.959 he's going to try. Now. 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:50.000 He won't make an announcement, Hey, I'm coming to kill 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:53.200 and steal and destroy, you know, because right now you 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.720 just spend all those money on the flowers and the 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:59.240 dresses and all the groomsmen and all that stuff. And 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:00.920 I know it's been a couple of years, and that's 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:03.680 good because what you see in those first couple of 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:06.520 years is you see that the enemy will usually start 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:10.800 in a small way because if he announced I've come 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.480 to divide, Dann the Man wouldn't stand for that. If 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:16.440 the devil came into divide, come on, stick. 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:16.839 Your chest out. 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:17.079 Dan. 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:20.559 Dan ain't having it. Dan ain't having it. 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:24.440 But if the enemy can just what he'll do, he'll 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:30.320 just use the littlest offense. And what Jesus is doing 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:33.120 in Matthew chapter five. He's showing us how to deal 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:37.280 with the offense so we can keep the devil on defense. 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:39.360 How many want to keep. 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:42.959 The devil on defense in your life and in your family? 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:48.560 Come on church, So you guys, if you sit back down, 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:50.000 I'll bring back in a minute. But I don't want 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:51.160 you to have to stay up here the whole time. 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:53.880 But just stay ready. Okay, all right, we're gonna come 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:54.320 back to here. 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:55.640 Last week when I was freaching. 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:58.040 I don't know if you remembered how many of you 0:11:58.040 --> 0:11:58.800 were here last week. 0:11:58.840 --> 0:11:59.640 Make some now. 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:05.760 If the person next to you isn't making noise, touch 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.040 them and say you really missed it, You really missed it. 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:12.640 I ended remember talking about you got this plank in 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:17.680 your eye, and you're so concerned about the little speck 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:21.440 in my eye while you're walking around your big old 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:26.479 plank just whacking them on the head, just causing distraction, 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:30.600 division and all this stuff. And it's the contrast between 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:33.199 the small things and the big things. And there are 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:35.480 times that a big offense. I mean, there's not a 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:38.120 week that goes by Hollywood. You agree that somebody doesn't 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:41.280 call me for counsel that's going through a marriage situation, 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:42.600 like a divorce of separation. 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:44.800 Buck, is this true. It's not a week that goes by. 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:48.040 It'll be another pastor or maybe a situation in the church, 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:50.880 and I get to talking to them about what happened. 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:53.200 And if you can go back far enough, you find 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:55.920 that every plank is made up of a lot of specs. 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.240 And to me, that's the heart of Jesus teaching. I 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:03.160 really didn't read you the. 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.840 Whole passage because I want to break it down and 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:07.600 show you how it happens. He said, it could be 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:12.440 something as small as a word. Now write this down. 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:17.439 The closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity. 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:19.280 And that goes both ways. 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:27.920 The closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity for intimacy. However, 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.959 the closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity for offense. 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:36.040 That's why nobody can make you really mad, like somebody 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:42.840 that you really love. Really nobody can hurt you like 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:44.480 somebody that you've given your heart to. 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:47.400 Nobody. 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:52.280 And I've asked the question a lot of times of people, 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:54.760 and really in my own mind, I've seen people that 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.360 were so loyal to each other and if you had 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:58.680 asked me ten years ago, who is most likely to 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:03.319 ever have kind of an enemy relationship, or who's most 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.600 likely it could be a divorce, or who's most likely 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:05.959 to not. 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:09.000 Be speaking to each other? And some of those very 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:09.720 same people. 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:13.120 Just in the last year of my life, Ethan, I've 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:15.520 watched some things happen that surprised me and you kind 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.920 of every time you see it, you ask the question, 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:23.680 how did we get here? You see how big Van 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:27.920 was smiling over Stephanie. Now they're going to have a 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:29.760 great marriage and all of that, and it's going to 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.920 be awesome, But you ask the question, how could somebody 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:36.600 who had that same hope, that same smile barely stand 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.640 to be in the room with somebody two kids later. 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:42.160 And it happens, And there's all kinds of ways that 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.400 it happens. I know there's compatibility, and I know that 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:47.400 it's not always something that you can fix because it 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:51.440 takes one to forgive, but it takes two to be reconciled. 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.240 And I guess I want you to know that my 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:57.800 goal today isn't to so much do an autopsy of 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:00.920 anybody's mistakes, but just to show you something that happens 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:05.640 It always happens one offence at a time. 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:07.800 Yes there are. 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:11.480 Betrayals, and yes there's adult tree, and yes there's abuse. 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.880 I'm not really talking about those big things so much today. 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:16.240 As I am what Jesus was talking about. 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.720 He said, if you get something in your heart against 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:21.520 your brother and sister, and then you nurse it and 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:25.920 rehearse it long enough, it will literally create a smoldering 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:29.760 garbage dump of fire in the very relationship that was 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.400 once a garden of potential and love. 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.600 How does this happen? It happens one offence at a time. 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:41.160 How did we get here where we're smiling like everything 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:43.880 is okay? But deep down in my heart, you know, 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:46.640 if we come to church, man, nobody sees this stuff 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:48.880 when we come to church, watch this, jesays. In verse 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:51.720 twenty three, he says, if you are offering your gift 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:55.320 at the altar, and there remember that your brother. 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:57.080 Or sister has something against you. 0:15:57.480 --> 0:16:00.240 Leave your gift there in front of the altar and 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:03.240 get it right with the person that is not right 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:06.240 with before you sing a song or pray a prayer 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:07.720 to try to cover up. 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:11.720 The fact that your relationships are under attack. 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:17.200 We were singing today in church, this song, this beautiful 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.840 worship song. Man, you should have seen the people singing, 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:21.840 and people had their hands lifted. 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:26.720 Mercy's folly. 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:30.160 And that's why was coming out of some people's mouths. 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:31.080 But if you can see. 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:34.480 What's going on in their heart, Jesus as possible for 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:38.080 you to be doing something on an outward level and 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:42.040 at an inward level you're full of anger and resentment. 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:44.720 Mercy is. 0:16:46.960 --> 0:17:06.280 Fall except on my huh husband. He as. 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:10.960 If you could hear what was happening in the hearts 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:17.320 of people. How do we get here? Jesus says. It 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:21.119 starts small, but one offense at a time. The devil 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:24.879 wants to tear dense heart from Stephanie's heart. You know, 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:27.520 God takes the two and makes some one. The enemy 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:29.320 takes the one and makes them two. 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:33.919 How does he do it? One offense at a time? 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:37.360 And God knows I need this message, man, because I'm 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:40.679 not a perfect husband. I give ninety seven percent of 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:43.600 the credit for the happiness that exists in my marriage 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:47.320 to my wife. Three percent is me. I'm pretty proud 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:50.840 of that three But if you put me in the 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.000 wrong situation, I can get offended so. 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:54.760 Quick, just like on Twitter. 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:57.959 There was one woman that went off on me, and 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:01.240 I still remember what she said three years later. 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:04.159 You know, thousands of people have said nice things to me, 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:08.200 but I'm quick to find the offense. 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:12.959 We can train ourselves to find the offense and then 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:16.600 just overreact. Man, it starts off as Raka, you fool. 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:19.560 Next thing you know, I'm in living hell and watsch I. 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:20.040 Bad at this? 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.320 Jesus said, it can get so bad if you don't 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:25.680 deal with it. If you don't learn how to deal 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.359 with this Dan, if you don't deal with the little things, 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.880 little foxes, he says, if you don't settle matters quickly 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.960 verse twenty five, with your adversary who. 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:36.680 Is taking you to According to that confused me because 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:38.880 in verse twenty one, we're talking about your brother or sister, Right, 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:40.199 we're talking about somebody you're close to. 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:42.359 In verse twenty five, we're talking about your adversary. I 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:44.040 always assume these are two different people. 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:44.960 What if it's not. 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:48.600 What if the same person who you called brother and 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:51.240 sister in twenty one is the same person who will 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:52.560 be your enemy in twenty five. 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:56.639 If you don't learn how to deal with offense, it 0:18:56.760 --> 0:19:03.240 happens you ever thought about that. 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:08.879 The person who, he says, the person who doesn't deal 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:11.439 with the offense. And it's interesting how he says it. 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:15.800 If you don't settle matters quickly, that's so powerful. Saddle 0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:19.040 matters quickly with your adversary who's taking you to court, 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:23.560 do what you can while you are still together on 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:26.600 the way, or your adversary may hand you over to 0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:28.639 the judge, and the judge may hand you over to 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:30.879 the officer, and you may be. 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:31.639 Thrown into prison. 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:33.399 And truly, I tell you, knock it out until you 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:37.520 paid the last penny, the prison of offense. And it 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:43.600 all started with Roca. It all started with Roca, the 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:48.239 small offense. It all started in the parking lot. I 0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:52.520 was backing out and this guy honking his horn at 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:55.000 me and his pickup truck. Just a couple months ago, 0:19:55.400 --> 0:19:57.600 I took the boys to see that football movie, the 0:19:57.760 --> 0:20:03.760 Christian football movie. Okay, Wood Wood Woodlock Woodlawn. We went 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:08.080 and saw Woodlawn made a deep impression on him. We're 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:14.840 leaving the movie and and this this guy, he's hollering 0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:19.720 at me because his wife wants my parking spot. The 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:22.480 problem with his wife wanting my parking spot is she 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:25.199 is pulled up so close on my parking spot. I 0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:27.680 can't get out to give it to her. And now 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:30.160 that's somehow my fault to this guy in the pickup truck. 0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.600 So he says to me, or offers a course of 0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:35.160 action to. 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:37.640 Me, Hey, get out of her way. 0:20:37.720 --> 0:20:41.640 She's waiting on your spot, and I'm like, And then 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:43.440 I figure out that this is his wife because I'm 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:46.040 putting it all together, and I rolled down my window 0:20:46.480 --> 0:20:51.400 and I says something back to him. No, it wasn't 0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:54.639 any profanity or anything like that, but it was a 0:20:54.760 --> 0:21:00.720 rocket type thing that I said something about his wife's 0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:03.359 driving skills or something, you know, something like that, just 0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:04.280 something insinuate. 0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:08.879 But then he wants to get out of his truck 0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:11.760 and he's not bigger than me. 0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:15.919 So now I gotta get out of my maximum because 0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:18.840 I got to because my boys are watching this, and 0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:21.159 I need even be a good example that if a 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:23.200 man gets out of his pickup. 0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:25.040 Truck and challenges you. 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:28.200 It doesn't matter whether you have an elevation sticker on 0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:28.680 your car. 0:21:29.000 --> 0:21:36.000 You gotta handle this. Why are you clapping for me? 0:21:36.720 --> 0:21:37.919 I'm so bewildered. 0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:44.560 And I got out and I said what are we 0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:45.080 gonna do? 0:21:46.280 --> 0:21:51.280 Just a question, just a question. There's just a question. 0:21:52.240 --> 0:21:53.680 And I don't know what happened next. 0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:56.240 I think, to this day, I still don't know, because 0:21:56.280 --> 0:21:58.800 his tone changed dramatically. I don't think he was intimidated 0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.720 by me. I think he really who I was. I 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:04.040 think so because it was right here in town. And 0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:05.600 so I think he because I think he put the 0:22:05.640 --> 0:22:07.960 sticker and the all thing together, because all of. 0:22:07.880 --> 0:22:11.360 A sudden he turned real spiritual. He was like, well, God, 0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:13.160 bless you man. We're just all trying to get where 0:22:13.200 --> 0:22:16.640 we're trying to go. And I was like, yeah, we are. 0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:21.880 Around this time, Graham comes out the car. He's eight, 0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:24.960 you know. He comes over and stands by me, and 0:22:25.359 --> 0:22:27.760 he said, you got your boys and I got my wife. 0:22:27.760 --> 0:22:29.480 I says, cool, and we've got over here, and got 0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:31.560 back in the car and I said when Graham got 0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:33.520 in the car, I said, Graham, I said, what were 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:34.280 you gonna do? 0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:38.200 And Graham said I. 0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:40.760 Was gonna kick him in the shin if I had to. 0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:47.919 And Elijah, my older son, he. 0:22:47.960 --> 0:22:51.240 Speaks up and says, Daddy, a better question is what 0:22:51.359 --> 0:23:00.520 were you going to do? I said, what ever needed 0:23:00.600 --> 0:23:05.000 to be done. Son, I hadn't thought that far about it, 0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:08.640 and he said, well, think about it. I mean, let's 0:23:08.680 --> 0:23:10.760 say you'll get in a fight in the parking lot 0:23:11.000 --> 0:23:12.280 of the movie theater. 0:23:12.560 --> 0:23:13.879 Not only are the news. 0:23:13.640 --> 0:23:16.359 People going to put you on the news, but they 0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:18.959 might not even we might not even ever see you again. 0:23:19.400 --> 0:23:21.480 We're in the back of the car, and maybe they 0:23:21.560 --> 0:23:23.959 leave us, and then maybe you end up in prison, 0:23:24.119 --> 0:23:25.320 and maybe we don't have a dad. 0:23:25.480 --> 0:23:26.399 Did you think about that? 0:23:31.520 --> 0:23:35.080 And I said, that's right, son, I'm giving you an example. 0:23:36.560 --> 0:23:43.000 How not to handle a situation. We went and ate 0:23:43.080 --> 0:23:43.920 some Mexican food. 0:23:44.040 --> 0:23:49.280 And here's why I told you that story. When you 0:23:49.520 --> 0:23:51.880 are in these moments I'm talking about, not with somebody 0:23:51.880 --> 0:23:55.440 in parking lot, somebody you love. You're not thinking through 0:23:55.480 --> 0:23:57.560 the fact that this is going to end up with 0:23:57.680 --> 0:24:01.240 me and you and an attorneys sitting down talking about 0:24:01.280 --> 0:24:02.320 dividing our assets. 0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:04.560 That's not how division happens. 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:09.920 Because the enemy's agenda is destruction. His strategy is division. 0:24:10.200 --> 0:24:13.320 But his tactic is those little offenses. 0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:17.560 Come come on, Dan and Stephanie, come back, and I 0:24:17.640 --> 0:24:18.359 just I need. 0:24:18.240 --> 0:24:24.280 Your help because bring up, bring up my garden. Come on, 0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:25.480 it's Dan and Stephanie. 0:24:25.560 --> 0:24:31.600 Everybody two years, We're gonna get them to twenty. We're 0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:34.120 gonna get you to twenty. I so appreciate your help. 0:24:34.119 --> 0:24:36.159 I'm gonna send I'm gonna send you guys to your 0:24:36.200 --> 0:24:40.720 favorite restaurant. What's your favorite restaurant, Stephanie, what's our favorite restaurant? 0:24:41.119 --> 0:24:43.840 I was gonna say Baker's Field, but theF change I 0:24:43.880 --> 0:24:48.520 love it too. So here here's a garden. This This 0:24:48.600 --> 0:24:49.880 represents the love of. 0:24:49.840 --> 0:24:53.840 A relationship and and all the potential of a relationship. 0:24:54.480 --> 0:25:01.520 And this, of course represents the offenses that are going 0:25:01.560 --> 0:25:03.119 to come into your relationship. 0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:04.840 Now you don't have to be married to get a 0:25:04.840 --> 0:25:06.440 whole lot out of what I'm saying right now. 0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:09.639 This will apply to anybody in your life who is 0:25:09.680 --> 0:25:12.879 important to you and show you exactly what the enemy 0:25:12.920 --> 0:25:15.520 will try to do. Like, for instance, I don't know 0:25:15.560 --> 0:25:16.919 if Stephanie's a good cook or not. 0:25:17.280 --> 0:25:21.520 Oh yeah, yeah, good good. And I was talking to 0:25:21.560 --> 0:25:24.040 my mom this morning. No, my mom lives here in Charlotte, 0:25:24.160 --> 0:25:26.640 and she reminded me of this story. This is hilarious. 0:25:26.640 --> 0:25:29.600 It just shows how offenses can come because the question 0:25:29.760 --> 0:25:33.400 isn't our offense is going to come into your relationship. 0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:36.040 That's not the question. They're going to come. They're going 0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:39.560 to come. The question is what are you going to 0:25:39.640 --> 0:25:40.080 do with them. 0:25:41.480 --> 0:25:44.000 That's what determines whether or not you keep a strong 0:25:44.240 --> 0:25:49.720 relationship with God, with others, with yourself. So my mom 0:25:49.800 --> 0:25:54.640 was telling me they were at my father's mom's house, 0:25:54.640 --> 0:25:57.959 so my grandmother my dad's mom's house, for Thanksgiving, and 0:25:58.000 --> 0:26:03.359 she made some stuffing, you know that. Yeah, And when 0:26:03.400 --> 0:26:06.240 she and my grandmother made some stuffing. 0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:08.359 And the way. 0:26:08.200 --> 0:26:10.240 I understood the story, my dad was sitting there eating 0:26:10.240 --> 0:26:11.160 his mom's stuffing. 0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:12.600 And while he's. 0:26:12.480 --> 0:26:15.880 Eating the stuffing, he says, trying to give a compliment 0:26:15.920 --> 0:26:16.760 to his mom. 0:26:17.119 --> 0:26:21.000 He's like, mmm, Mom. 0:26:20.720 --> 0:26:25.720 Nobody makes stuffing like you. I mean, other people try 0:26:25.800 --> 0:26:30.040 to make stuffing, but nobody can make it like you. 0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:33.040 And my mom is thinking. 0:26:33.240 --> 0:26:38.000 While he's saying, nobody makes stuffing like you, my mom 0:26:38.520 --> 0:26:41.600 is thinking, and nobody is going. 0:26:41.280 --> 0:26:42.760 To make stuffing for you. 0:26:43.160 --> 0:26:46.919 Accept your mom, So you better invite your mom to 0:26:46.960 --> 0:26:48.000 be your cook. 0:26:48.040 --> 0:26:50.240 If nobody makes stuffing like her. 0:26:50.920 --> 0:26:53.200 And my mom said, I didn't make that man stuffing 0:26:53.240 --> 0:26:57.840 on Thanksgiving for the next six years, and. 0:26:57.760 --> 0:26:59.679 I said, can I tell the church. That story is 0:26:59.680 --> 0:27:02.120 a good illustration. She said, yes, as long as you. 0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:05.960 Clarify that I really do make better stuffing. 0:27:05.560 --> 0:27:06.480 Than your grandmother. 0:27:09.080 --> 0:27:12.919 Now I got you holding that because he says this stuff. Oh, 0:27:12.960 --> 0:27:15.399 he says these unintentional things, because men are stupid. We 0:27:15.440 --> 0:27:17.280 just say stuff. We don't realize what we're saying, and 0:27:17.280 --> 0:27:19.680 we just say stuff. And maybe Dan hasn't done it yet. 0:27:19.720 --> 0:27:21.920 To me, he looks like an intelligent man, but he's 0:27:21.960 --> 0:27:23.520 gonna say something. 0:27:23.720 --> 0:27:26.960 And it will be unintentional in his mind. He's just 0:27:27.040 --> 0:27:30.439 saying it. He's just saying something. Just say it, just 0:27:30.520 --> 0:27:31.200 says stuff. 0:27:31.600 --> 0:27:35.160 Or sometimes it's not what they say, it's what they 0:27:35.240 --> 0:27:39.440 don't do. It's an unmet expectation. That is the breeding 0:27:39.480 --> 0:27:44.040 ground of offenses and relationships. Unmet expectations. And let me 0:27:44.040 --> 0:27:47.920 tell you the breeding ground of unmet expectations, unexpressed expectations. 0:27:48.280 --> 0:27:50.560 So you got to learn how to talk to people otherwise. 0:27:50.640 --> 0:27:53.680 Like let's say, growing up in Stephanie's house, birthdays were 0:27:53.720 --> 0:27:57.320 a big deal. But maybe at Dan's house they didn't 0:27:57.320 --> 0:27:59.879 make a big deal about birthdays because hey, what did 0:27:59.920 --> 0:28:00.320 you do? 0:28:01.359 --> 0:28:03.000 You didn't do anything on your birthday. 0:28:03.200 --> 0:28:05.720 You were just born so maybe on birthdays at Dan's house, 0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:08.640 nobody celebrates the fact that you just came out into 0:28:08.680 --> 0:28:11.920 the world like it was some great achievement. But Stephanie 0:28:11.960 --> 0:28:13.760 wakes up and her mom used to make her pancakes 0:28:13.800 --> 0:28:15.560 on her birthday, and her dad had a special song 0:28:15.600 --> 0:28:16.800 that he was saying, I don't know I'm making this 0:28:16.800 --> 0:28:18.879 stuff up. I never met Stephanie and Dan before. I 0:28:18.920 --> 0:28:21.280 was making a scenario. And so Dan wakes up on 0:28:21.320 --> 0:28:22.960 the birthday and he's going to take her out to 0:28:23.040 --> 0:28:26.159 pf Change that night because that's her favorite place. But 0:28:26.240 --> 0:28:28.320 now it's morning time and it's like seven, and there's 0:28:28.359 --> 0:28:30.880 no pancakes, and there's no special song and there's no thing. 0:28:31.040 --> 0:28:32.720 And so now all of a sudden, it's the first 0:28:32.760 --> 0:28:34.240 birthday they spend as a married couple. 0:28:34.359 --> 0:28:35.800 And he wakes up and gives her a little kiss 0:28:35.840 --> 0:28:38.600 and goes to work and leaves her with an offense. 0:28:40.240 --> 0:28:42.000 And you're like, well, that's stupid that she shouldn't get 0:28:42.000 --> 0:28:45.600 so offended over that. Well, you get offended over some 0:28:45.640 --> 0:28:50.440 stuff too, some little things, and you hold it and 0:28:50.880 --> 0:28:54.640 it won't just be you offending her. Let's say maybe 0:28:54.720 --> 0:28:57.600 let's say you're working really hard this used to happen 0:28:57.600 --> 0:28:58.880 in me and Holly's marriage. 0:28:59.480 --> 0:29:01.520 This is an example. I did not ask for permission 0:29:01.560 --> 0:29:02.400 to share it. 0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:08.320 When I discovered that her recreational preference was shopping. 0:29:10.360 --> 0:29:13.800 And yeah, yeah, so she said me too, So you 0:29:13.920 --> 0:29:14.800 come home on Saturday. 0:29:14.840 --> 0:29:17.080 Holly would come home on Saturday and she would be 0:29:17.200 --> 0:29:21.040 energized and she would have bags all. 0:29:20.760 --> 0:29:21.680 Over her arms. 0:29:21.920 --> 0:29:25.160 But to me, those bags didn't look like shopping bags. 0:29:25.640 --> 0:29:30.560 Those bags looked like grenades to be launched into our 0:29:30.640 --> 0:29:33.000 financial picture. Here, I am trying to work. 0:29:33.040 --> 0:29:36.000 She walking in with all these bags looking out, and 0:29:36.000 --> 0:29:38.680 then she has the nerve to say, don't worry, because 0:29:38.720 --> 0:29:45.480 I got it on. And this is what the devil 0:29:45.520 --> 0:29:46.160 wants all right. 0:29:46.280 --> 0:29:49.040 Now, Dan is trying to fall asleep on Saturday night. 0:29:49.120 --> 0:29:51.200 And again I'm just making this up, but she handed 0:29:51.240 --> 0:29:52.240 you this official. 0:29:51.880 --> 0:29:53.760 One't trying to offend you. She was just shopping. It 0:29:53.840 --> 0:29:54.480 was just a thing. 0:29:54.520 --> 0:29:56.720 But Dan is working, and doesn't she see how hard 0:29:56.760 --> 0:29:58.640 I'm working? And how does she expect us to get 0:29:58.640 --> 0:30:01.800 ahead financially? Like the last thing she needs is another 0:30:01.840 --> 0:30:03.120 pair of shoes, and the. 0:30:03.720 --> 0:30:05.880 Enemy is like, yeah, yeah, that's good, Dan, that's good. 0:30:05.920 --> 0:30:08.200 She doesn't care about you. She doesn't respect you. 0:30:08.480 --> 0:30:11.400 She doesn't she doesn't appreciate all that you're doing to 0:30:11.480 --> 0:30:12.240 provide for her. 0:30:12.440 --> 0:30:15.320 She's working against you. It's just a little offense. 0:30:16.640 --> 0:30:24.800 Meanwhile, Stephanie is still stuck on her birthday. It was 0:30:24.800 --> 0:30:29.080 four months ago. She's still mad about the pancakes. 0:30:29.080 --> 0:30:30.480 Come here, Stephanie, and. 0:30:30.400 --> 0:30:34.520 She's over here, and she's still she's still nursing that 0:30:34.520 --> 0:30:38.880 that thing about the birthday and see us every time 0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:44.520 she thinks about it, just a little deeper. She should 0:30:44.600 --> 0:30:47.920 drive it down in there with every thought and reliving 0:30:48.000 --> 0:30:50.480 it and thinking about what he said and what she 0:30:50.560 --> 0:30:53.840 did and what they didn't say. He didn't pay attention 0:30:53.920 --> 0:30:57.760 to me, I don't appreciate me, and drives it down deeper. 0:30:58.320 --> 0:31:01.880 And marriage is gonna give you because it's the most 0:31:01.880 --> 0:31:08.840 intimate relationship, and the more intimate the relationship, the more infinite. 0:31:09.560 --> 0:31:14.000 The potential for offense. 0:31:16.720 --> 0:31:21.360 And so you're gonna have like a million offenses, little offenses, 0:31:22.160 --> 0:31:23.440 and if you don't learn how to deal with them, 0:31:23.480 --> 0:31:28.200 because sometimes the thing that you liked about her when 0:31:28.240 --> 0:31:31.120 you were dating will drive you crazy now that you 0:31:31.200 --> 0:31:32.520 have to wake up with it every day. 0:31:33.840 --> 0:31:36.160 No offense to Stephanie. I'm sure she's wonderful. You're like, oh, 0:31:36.160 --> 0:31:38.600 why would you say that about her? It's true about everybody. 0:31:38.680 --> 0:31:39.960 Here's how the country preachers had it. 0:31:40.000 --> 0:31:46.400 He said, before marriage, opposites tracked, after marriage opposite attack. 0:31:46.880 --> 0:31:53.320 Hey man, that's how the country preacher said it. And 0:31:53.360 --> 0:31:57.160 so I know it's kind of heavy. That's how offenses are. 0:31:57.240 --> 0:31:59.080 But it's not all at once, it's just one at 0:31:59.080 --> 0:32:03.640 a time. Let's say that before marriage you liked her 0:32:03.680 --> 0:32:08.920 because she is mysterious and quiet, and that draws you 0:32:09.000 --> 0:32:11.920 to her. But then in marriage it can go this 0:32:12.000 --> 0:32:15.480 way to where it was really attractive that she was 0:32:15.560 --> 0:32:17.959 quiet and mysterious when you were dating her. 0:32:18.200 --> 0:32:22.080 But now in marriage she won't ever talk, and it's 0:32:22.160 --> 0:32:23.840 like no, but yeah, but no. 0:32:24.120 --> 0:32:27.760 But just for example, it's like, why won't you tell 0:32:27.760 --> 0:32:29.280 me what's on your mind? 0:32:29.960 --> 0:32:31.200 But that's why you liked her. 0:32:31.240 --> 0:32:33.480 And before you married him, he was the life of 0:32:33.520 --> 0:32:36.720 the party, and he walked in and he just talked. 0:32:36.480 --> 0:32:38.840 And lit up the room. And now why won't he 0:32:39.000 --> 0:32:44.480 ever shut up? Dan? Will not shut up? Shut up Dan? 0:32:48.360 --> 0:32:51.800 And so what actually was part of building the foundation 0:32:51.840 --> 0:32:53.280 of the relationship. 0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:54.560 Now it's a fence and it happens. 0:32:54.280 --> 0:33:02.320 A million different ways in the enemy, all kinds of opportunities, 0:33:04.920 --> 0:33:08.360 and you don't realize what's happening because it's just one 0:33:08.400 --> 0:33:12.200 little conversation after another. You know, it's just dressing on Thanksgiving. 0:33:12.840 --> 0:33:13.600 Yeah, a big thing. 0:33:14.560 --> 0:33:16.320 It's just me trying to tell Holly how to drive 0:33:16.360 --> 0:33:17.600 and her saying, well, then why don't. 0:33:17.440 --> 0:33:19.440 You drive if you do such a good driver. 0:33:20.240 --> 0:33:22.400 And we have a lot of dysfunction in our relationship 0:33:22.440 --> 0:33:25.160 over what happens in the car because I can't find 0:33:25.160 --> 0:33:29.920 my way places and she can't drive. So she has 0:33:29.960 --> 0:33:33.080 a great sense of direction, but horrible driving skills. 0:33:33.600 --> 0:33:35.720 I'm a great driver with no sense of direction. 0:33:38.000 --> 0:33:42.960 So the other night, we're driving coming from a movie 0:33:43.080 --> 0:33:46.760 as a matter of fact, not the Christian football movie, 0:33:47.040 --> 0:33:50.280 but we're coming back and she almost got us killed. 0:33:53.320 --> 0:33:56.360 And I was mad because to me, she wasn't paying attention. 0:33:57.480 --> 0:34:00.640 And we talked about that later and she was like, well, 0:34:00.760 --> 0:34:03.440 you know, if you want to be in control of how. 0:34:03.360 --> 0:34:06.360 The car works, there's a different seat you can sit in. 0:34:10.040 --> 0:34:20.359 Shut up, lock up, ruck off. 0:34:20.040 --> 0:34:22.040 H that's the biggest problem you have. No, it's not 0:34:22.040 --> 0:34:22.960 the biggest problem we have. 0:34:23.040 --> 0:34:23.719 It's just the one I'm. 0:34:23.600 --> 0:34:25.080 Gonna tell you about. It's none of your business or 0:34:25.080 --> 0:34:31.759 a problem here. But see offense by offense. If we 0:34:31.760 --> 0:34:34.479 don't learn what to do about this, the enemy would 0:34:34.520 --> 0:34:38.279 love just one conversation after another. You don't make a 0:34:38.320 --> 0:34:41.120 decision to walk away from a relationship that you love. 0:34:41.200 --> 0:34:43.879 You don't see them becoming your enemy. In Matthew five 0:34:44.200 --> 0:34:51.440 twenty five, it's just one unacknowledged effort after another, and 0:34:51.520 --> 0:34:54.560 you start thinking, well, I'm the only one who ever 0:34:55.440 --> 0:34:56.719 takes out the trash around here. 0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:04.800 I guess I'll do it, do it again like always. 0:35:04.840 --> 0:35:07.960 No, it's good, I got it, I got. 0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:10.120 It's not a problem. I'm would love. 0:35:10.440 --> 0:35:13.600 To get up with the kid again in the middle something. 0:35:13.680 --> 0:35:21.239 I know, it's fine, I know you gotta work. And 0:35:21.280 --> 0:35:31.480 now what started as just a small offense, Now what 0:35:31.600 --> 0:35:51.000 God joined together separated because of offense. And now the 0:35:51.040 --> 0:35:52.960 crazy thing is Jesus said, if you. 0:35:52.920 --> 0:35:55.919 Let it get to this point, if you live your 0:35:56.120 --> 0:35:59.600 relational life on the basis of well, I'm not apologizing first, 0:35:59.600 --> 0:36:03.319 apology us first last time. If you don't learn how 0:36:03.320 --> 0:36:05.800 to deal with these things, you find yourself in prison. 0:36:07.600 --> 0:36:15.680 It's not them that you imprison. It's you, Hey, Dan, 0:36:18.600 --> 0:36:22.080 Why don't we talk anymore? Where did the love go? 0:36:25.160 --> 0:36:27.360 Then we haven't been the PF change in three years? 0:36:27.440 --> 0:36:40.200 Then you built a fence. The enemies agenda is destruction. 0:36:40.800 --> 0:36:42.239 His strategy is the. 0:36:42.320 --> 0:36:45.480 Vision, and his tactic is offense. 0:36:45.520 --> 0:36:51.080 Thankfully, God has given us another way to deal with offense. 0:36:53.080 --> 0:36:58.279 If only we could find an example of somebody who 0:36:58.360 --> 0:37:02.960 had every right to be offended, of somebody who had 0:37:03.000 --> 0:37:07.520 every right to hold it against us, of. 0:37:07.560 --> 0:37:11.880 Somebody who had every right to stand at a distance, 0:37:15.560 --> 0:37:23.680 but opened his arms and said, this is the way 0:37:23.719 --> 0:37:24.680 of relationship. 0:37:27.920 --> 0:37:32.279 And the Lord gave me a real specific word for 0:37:32.360 --> 0:37:36.000 somebody who needs reconciliation in your relationship. 0:37:36.560 --> 0:37:38.439 It's very simple what they have to do. 0:37:38.600 --> 0:37:41.640 If they're gonna stay like they started, if we're gonna 0:37:41.640 --> 0:37:45.080 get back to where we were, we're gonna have to learn. 0:37:45.239 --> 0:37:47.400 Watch this. This is very this is very profound. 0:37:47.480 --> 0:37:49.120 It's deep. You're gonna miss it. This is what you're 0:37:49.120 --> 0:37:53.200 gonna have to learn. You got to learn to drop it. 0:37:55.200 --> 0:37:58.759 You got to learn to drop it. And I don't 0:37:58.760 --> 0:38:01.040 mean suppress it. I don't mean you don't deal with 0:38:01.120 --> 0:38:04.480 things after they happen, but after you've had the conversation, Dan, 0:38:04.560 --> 0:38:06.240 I like pancakes on my birthday. 0:38:06.520 --> 0:38:09.600 Then drop it. Touch somebody say drop it? 0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:13.600 I mean the moment, the offense, because you can't always 0:38:13.640 --> 0:38:16.279 control what's handed to you, but you can control what 0:38:16.360 --> 0:38:16.759 you do with this. 0:38:16.880 --> 0:38:18.640 So what are you gonna do with the offense? 0:38:20.680 --> 0:38:24.239 Come on, Dan, you can't choose anybody else's actions. The 0:38:24.360 --> 0:38:26.400 enemy wants you to drive it down deep. 0:38:26.640 --> 0:38:28.239 You know. He wants you to ah. 0:38:28.160 --> 0:38:30.560 Think about it and miss all the reasons that the 0:38:30.600 --> 0:38:34.000 person has worked their way into your life, and miss 0:38:34.000 --> 0:38:36.040 all the things they've done for you, and he wants 0:38:36.080 --> 0:38:41.080 to drive it. But God says, drop it. I believe 0:38:41.120 --> 0:38:44.160 that there are some things that we need to drop tonight. 0:38:44.200 --> 0:38:47.160 In fact, Jesus said this is so important that if 0:38:47.200 --> 0:38:50.480 you are in church at the altar offering a gift 0:38:50.520 --> 0:38:54.600 and a sacrifice, but the primary relationships in your life 0:38:54.840 --> 0:39:00.239 are dysfunctional and need reconciliation, you can't even properly connect 0:39:00.280 --> 0:39:01.799 with God unless you. 0:39:03.600 --> 0:39:04.000 Drop it. 0:39:05.680 --> 0:39:10.279 Do it again, Dan, drop it? Every time they do it. 0:39:10.320 --> 0:39:13.680 I want you to reinforce it. One two three, drop it. 0:39:14.360 --> 0:39:16.439 What are you gonna do when they when they don't 0:39:16.640 --> 0:39:17.320 acknowledge you? 0:39:17.360 --> 0:39:19.120 When they don't notice you. What are you gonna do? 0:39:20.719 --> 0:39:22.680 What are you going to do when they when they 0:39:22.880 --> 0:39:25.680 are too busy to show you the love and affection, 0:39:26.000 --> 0:39:27.799 but you know that they're trying as hard as they 0:39:27.800 --> 0:39:32.600 can to you gotta. I'm telling you, being married, being 0:39:32.640 --> 0:39:36.680 in a close relationship is about not how quickly you 0:39:36.719 --> 0:39:39.680 can get offended, but how quickly. 0:39:41.600 --> 0:39:55.040 You can get over it. And I want everyone to stand. 0:39:54.760 --> 0:39:58.080 At every location because I want to pray for some people. 0:39:58.080 --> 0:40:00.400 Thank you, guys, would you give them some love? That 0:40:00.520 --> 0:40:01.080 was amazing? 0:40:02.760 --> 0:40:10.600 They're walking off hand in hand. I asked the Lord 0:40:11.760 --> 0:40:14.239 to help me in this message in a way. He said, 0:40:14.280 --> 0:40:17.200 you need to pray for people for not what they're 0:40:17.200 --> 0:40:19.279 going to experience while they're in the church, but what's 0:40:19.320 --> 0:40:23.319 going to happen when they leave, Because you know, you 0:40:23.320 --> 0:40:25.640 can offer a gift at the altar and feel pretty 0:40:25.680 --> 0:40:27.839 good about it, but what's happening back at home can 0:40:27.880 --> 0:40:33.320 be a living hell. And when I read those words 0:40:33.320 --> 0:40:36.960 of Jesus that he said that when you don't deal 0:40:37.000 --> 0:40:40.200 with the offenses, and when you don't drop the offenses, 0:40:41.200 --> 0:40:43.399 when you allow it to become resentment in your life, 0:40:43.440 --> 0:40:46.960 because hey, sometimes reconciliation isn't possible. 0:40:48.000 --> 0:40:50.799 I mean, sometimes the person is dead, that you've held 0:40:50.840 --> 0:40:56.160 the offense again. Sometimes the person isn't willing, but release, 0:40:57.920 --> 0:41:02.600 release is always available. Release starts in your heart. 0:41:03.040 --> 0:41:08.600 Smeed said that forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and 0:41:08.640 --> 0:41:19.440 finding out the prisoner was you. So I believe God 0:41:19.480 --> 0:41:23.799 wants to release some people today. 0:41:23.440 --> 0:41:25.400 Release you from some things you've been. 0:41:27.160 --> 0:41:31.000 Holding on to, some things that have been keeping you 0:41:31.080 --> 0:41:34.520 at a distance, some things that have been keeping you divided, 0:41:35.800 --> 0:41:39.560 And that in these closing moments of our time together today, 0:41:41.080 --> 0:41:43.360 there are some things, by the power of the Cross 0:41:43.400 --> 0:41:46.440 of Jesus Christ, that God is going to bring to mind, 0:41:47.280 --> 0:41:52.760 some offenses that you've been building in some very important relationships, 0:41:52.760 --> 0:41:55.879 and that God is going to begin to demolish your 0:41:55.960 --> 0:42:00.160 excuses and break down your pride and your walls today, 0:42:00.920 --> 0:42:05.239 and that we're going to receive hundreds of testimonies from 0:42:05.320 --> 0:42:09.200 the word that went forth today of a process of 0:42:09.239 --> 0:42:14.680 reconciliation and healing that began between husbands and wives, between 0:42:15.239 --> 0:42:19.400 parents and children, between friends that haven't spoken. 0:42:20.320 --> 0:42:22.120 God says, drop it, man. 0:42:22.200 --> 0:42:25.520 I feel the spirit of Snoop coming on me right now, 0:42:26.080 --> 0:42:26.800 and I want. 0:42:26.600 --> 0:42:29.440 To say drop it like this hot. 0:42:31.280 --> 0:42:34.719 Come on, you gotta drop it while you can't. He said, 0:42:34.800 --> 0:42:37.600 do it while you're still on the way, or this. 0:42:37.400 --> 0:42:38.880 Won't end well with you. 0:42:39.960 --> 0:42:48.359 Unchecked resentment leads to regret, unbelievable regret, and you don't 0:42:48.400 --> 0:42:52.040 want that for your life. So, with everyone standing today, 0:42:52.040 --> 0:42:55.440 I want to ask you a question. If God dropped 0:42:55.440 --> 0:43:02.120 the charges against you, is what offense is there in 0:43:02.160 --> 0:43:04.960 the universe that you can't let go of. 0:43:05.040 --> 0:43:07.399 It's not just flowing to me. The forgiveness of God 0:43:07.640 --> 0:43:08.480 flows through me. 0:43:08.840 --> 0:43:18.320 And because I'm forgiven, I can forgive now before I pray. 0:43:19.680 --> 0:43:23.040 I'm not saying that you tolerate abuse. I'm not saying 0:43:23.040 --> 0:43:28.920 any of that. Here's what I'm saying. Offense is an event. 0:43:31.400 --> 0:43:34.400 Offended is a decision. 0:43:40.520 --> 0:43:40.840 Again. 0:43:42.520 --> 0:43:45.479 Offense is an event they hurt me. Offense is an event. 0:43:45.640 --> 0:43:48.800 We need to work through this. But to live offended 0:43:50.520 --> 0:43:53.160 as a believer in Jesus Christ, and to stay that 0:43:53.239 --> 0:43:58.439 way and to live in that place, denies the very 0:43:58.560 --> 0:44:01.000 nature of the salvation. 0:44:02.200 --> 0:44:03.600 That you claim to have received. 0:44:05.400 --> 0:44:09.239 So we want to make some decisions today. If you 0:44:09.239 --> 0:44:11.360 feel comfortable, would you just lift your hands as a 0:44:11.400 --> 0:44:14.000 sign of release. Nobody's looking at you. Don't even worry 0:44:14.000 --> 0:44:16.560 about the crowd. Right now, Father, in this moment, we 0:44:16.640 --> 0:44:18.000 come before you and. 0:44:17.920 --> 0:44:22.640 We just release, Release. Release. 0:44:22.760 --> 0:44:26.480 First of all, we acknowledge our own parts. Sometimes we 0:44:26.520 --> 0:44:28.760 are so quick to see the ways we've been offended, 0:44:28.760 --> 0:44:30.400 and we miss the ways that we've offended. 0:44:30.680 --> 0:44:31.920 So we open our hearts. 0:44:31.640 --> 0:44:33.080 To you, and we thank you for grace, and we 0:44:33.120 --> 0:44:35.440 thank you for mercy, and we lift our hands in 0:44:35.480 --> 0:44:39.520 your presence because we want to be free. We lift 0:44:39.520 --> 0:44:42.040 our hands in your presence because we don't want to 0:44:42.080 --> 0:44:44.560 withhold anything, and we want to be right. And so 0:44:44.640 --> 0:44:47.120 we offer our gift on the altar. But God, we ask, 0:44:47.200 --> 0:44:47.600 would you. 0:44:47.520 --> 0:44:48.480 Do a work in us. 0:44:49.680 --> 0:44:51.919 Some of us have some stuff happening back at home 0:44:51.960 --> 0:44:55.239 and in our hearts and then our relationships that is 0:44:55.360 --> 0:44:58.920 killing our joy and killing our peace. So we've come 0:44:58.920 --> 0:45:01.480 into your presence not just to sing a song or 0:45:01.520 --> 0:45:05.160 to hear a sermon, but to be changed at our core, 0:45:05.280 --> 0:45:06.200 to be changed. 0:45:07.280 --> 0:45:10.080 And we've got some things we need to drop. 0:45:10.160 --> 0:45:13.399 With your hands still lifted in the air, I want 0:45:13.440 --> 0:45:15.280 you to ask God in your heart, is there anything 0:45:15.320 --> 0:45:18.600 I need to drop? Is there something I need to drop? 0:45:20.440 --> 0:45:22.000 Is it a decision I need to make in my 0:45:22.080 --> 0:45:24.080 heart to never bring it up again. Is it a 0:45:24.120 --> 0:45:26.439 conversation I need to have to work through it? What 0:45:26.680 --> 0:45:34.759 do I need to drop? Keep your hands lifted. You 0:45:34.800 --> 0:45:38.080 feel how the blood is flowing out of. 0:45:38.000 --> 0:45:39.280 Your fingers in your hands. 0:45:41.360 --> 0:45:43.600 That's what it feels like when you hold on to stuff, 0:45:44.640 --> 0:45:47.560 when you hold on to offensis, when you hold on 0:45:47.600 --> 0:45:51.680 to what happened years ago. But if you would drop it, 0:45:52.800 --> 0:45:59.000 drop it, you feel that come all over your body 0:46:00.040 --> 0:46:04.040 when you finally decided to drop it. I declare that 0:46:04.120 --> 0:46:08.960 God is going to set some captives free today, that 0:46:09.000 --> 0:46:14.200 you are no longer going to be divided, dying behind offenses, 0:46:14.760 --> 0:46:22.360 isolated behind offenses. And in the name of Jesus, I 0:46:22.480 --> 0:46:29.400 declare release to the prisoners. I prayed that this message 0:46:29.440 --> 0:46:30.440 would stay. 0:46:30.239 --> 0:46:35.200 With you, that it would haunt you, that. 0:46:35.239 --> 0:46:39.400 You would see Dan and Stephanie dropping those planks on 0:46:39.480 --> 0:46:43.600 the stage until you come out from behind every offense 0:46:44.080 --> 0:46:47.480 that has kept you in prison. I want to pray 0:46:47.520 --> 0:46:49.440 before I walk off stage, for people who need a 0:46:49.520 --> 0:46:51.640 right relationship with God, would you buy your head and 0:46:51.640 --> 0:46:54.560 close your eyes again, because there is someone here who 0:46:55.600 --> 0:47:00.960 doesn't have that relationship right. What calls your name, and 0:47:01.000 --> 0:47:03.600 when he speaks to your heart, it's not a good 0:47:03.600 --> 0:47:07.200 thing to wait around. You want to get right now. 0:47:08.760 --> 0:47:12.720 You want to receive grace now, and with your heads bout. 0:47:12.520 --> 0:47:13.160 And eyes closed. 0:47:13.160 --> 0:47:14.880 At every campus, I would love to lead you in 0:47:14.920 --> 0:47:18.160 a prayer to let you know that everything that needs 0:47:18.200 --> 0:47:20.480 to be done for you to be a child of 0:47:20.520 --> 0:47:23.239 God has already been done. Everything that needs to be 0:47:23.320 --> 0:47:25.839 done for you to be forgiven has already been done. 0:47:26.000 --> 0:47:28.399 There's nothing you need to earn, there's nothing you need 0:47:28.440 --> 0:47:31.640 to do. God is the one who changes lives today. 0:47:31.680 --> 0:47:34.400 If you'll reach out for his grace, you will receive it. 0:47:34.640 --> 0:47:36.480 So with your head's bout and your eyes closed, we're 0:47:36.480 --> 0:47:38.560 going to pray as a church family out loud for 0:47:38.600 --> 0:47:39.040 those who. 0:47:38.960 --> 0:47:41.319 Are coming to God or coming back to God. 0:47:41.480 --> 0:47:45.319 Let's pray together, Church, Heavenly Father, I confess that I'm 0:47:45.360 --> 0:47:50.920 a sinner and I need a savior. And today I 0:47:51.080 --> 0:47:55.840 declare that Jesus Christ is my savior. 0:47:56.160 --> 0:47:57.719 And my Lord. 0:47:57.840 --> 0:48:02.520 I believe that Jesus Christ died to forgive my sin, 0:48:03.840 --> 0:48:05.759 rose to give me life. 0:48:05.880 --> 0:48:09.600 And right now, right now, right now. 0:48:09.800 --> 0:48:13.920 I receive this new life. This is my new beginning. 0:48:14.800 --> 0:48:17.920 I am a follower of Christ, I will never be 0:48:18.000 --> 0:48:21.600 the same. With your heads about an ice close on 0:48:21.680 --> 0:48:23.720 the count of three. If you just prayed that prayer, 0:48:23.960 --> 0:48:25.040 shoot your hand in the air. 0:48:25.080 --> 0:48:25.760 Don't be ashamed. 0:48:25.840 --> 0:48:28.560 Let's celebrate one, two, three, Shoot. 0:48:28.320 --> 0:48:31.640 Them up right now, right now, right now. God bless you, 0:48:31.719 --> 0:48:33.520 God bless you. Love every little fiction. 0:48:33.680 --> 0:48:38.000 Come on, Church, Come on, chart, come most celebrate these stignis. 0:48:39.480 --> 0:48:45.360 Celebrate these new lives, Celebrate these new beginnings. 0:48:45.840 --> 0:48:50.239 Come on, celebrate the marcy of God. I'll be their rest. 0:48:54.400 --> 0:48:55.440 Let your hand. 0:48:57.440 --> 0:48:58.560 Thank you for joining us. 0:48:58.880 --> 0:49:01.319 Special things to those of you who give generously to 0:49:01.400 --> 0:49:04.880 this ministry. Is because of you that this ministry is possible. 0:49:05.320 --> 0:49:07.879 You can click the link in the description to give now, 0:49:08.400 --> 0:49:12.280 or visit Elevationchurch dot org slash podcast for more information 0:49:12.840 --> 0:49:15.440 and if you enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe. 0:49:15.880 --> 0:49:17.200 You can share it with your friends. 0:49:17.480 --> 0:49:19.759 You can click the share button, take a screenshot and 0:49:19.800 --> 0:49:21.920 share it on your social stories and tag us at 0:49:21.960 --> 0:49:22.799 Elevation Church. 0:49:22.880 --> 0:49:29.560 Thanks again for listening. God bless you.