Taking A Stand For Your Family

0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:03.800 Hi, this is Jorlan Victorium. Thanks so much for listening 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:07.520 to the podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry. We 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.400 believe you're going to have an awesome twenty twenty four, healthy, productive, 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:15.640 and favor filled. God bless you today and enjoy the message. Well, 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:19.200 God bless you. It is always a joy to come 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.400 into your homes, and we come with good news. I 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.080 know that God is on your side. He rewards people 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:27.720 that seek after Him and you wouldn't be watching today 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:29.880 if you weren't doing just that, so we know God 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:32.280 has great things in store. I've been saving since the 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:34.640 first of this year. Two thousand and six is going 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:36.360 to be your best year so far, so you be 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:39.320 believing that as well. If you're ever in our area, 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.960 come out and see us. We give you a personal invitation. 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:44.519 We'd love to have you, and thanks for tuning in 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:46.760 to day. I like to get started each week with 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.080 something funny. I heard about this man that was very 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:52.280 stingy with his money. Just before he died, he made 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:55.040 his wife promise that she would have him buried with 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:58.880 the twenty thousand dollars he had saved. She reluctantly agreed, 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:01.880 and eventually he died. At the funeral, just before they 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:05.560 closed the casket, she slipped in this envelope. Her friends 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.560 stood there in disbelief. She said, surely you didn't just 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:10.920 put the money in there. The lady said, of course 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.200 I did. I'm a Christian. I promised him I would 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:16.080 do that. I can't lie. She said, you mean you 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:19.440 just buried twenty thousand dollars. The lady said, I sure did. 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:25.120 I wrote a check. All right, hold off your Bible. 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:28.200 Say it like you mean it. This is my Bible. 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.319 I am what it says I am. I have what 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.880 it says I have. I can do what it says 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:36.800 I can do. Today I will be taught the word 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:41.440 of God. I boldly confess. My mind is alert, my 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:46.280 heart is receptive. I will never be the same. In Jesus' name, 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:49.720 God bless you. I want to talk to you today 0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:53.400 about taking a stand for your family. I believe one 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:56.520 of the greatest attacks that we're facing in this twenty 0:01:56.560 --> 0:02:00.920 first century is not a terrorist attack or a financial attack, 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:05.280 but it's an attack on our homes. There's nothing the 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:09.320 enemy would love to ruin anymore than your relationship with 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:12.840 your husband or wife, or your relationship with your children, 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:16.480 your sons and daughters. And I see too many homes 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:22.799 being destroyed through strife, through lack of commitment, through wrong priorities, 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:26.080 through bad attitudes. And if we're going to have strong, 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:29.799 healthy families, we've got to dig our heels in and 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:33.200 fight for our families. And in the Old Testament, here 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:37.520 Niemiah was rebuilding the walls of his city. They were down, 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:41.400 and now the enemy was coming against them, against their homes, 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:45.400 their wives, their children. And his men had a hammer 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:48.200 in one hand working on the walls, and a sword 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:51.079 in the other hand, and he said to them in 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:56.160 Niamiah four verse fourteen, men, fight for your sons, fight 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:59.600 for your daughters, fight for your wives, fight for your families. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:03.040 He went on to say, if you will fight, then 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:06.160 God will fight. And I believe God saying the same 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.639 thing to each one of us today. If we will 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:12.559 do our part and take a strong stand for our families, 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:15.400 then God will do his part and help us to 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:19.760 have great marriages and great relationships with our children. And 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:22.280 in our marriages. There are two things we need to 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:26.440 settle first and foremost. Number one, we as a couple 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:29.280 are committed to God. We're going to live a life 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:32.400 that honors him. We're gonna come to church, We're gonna 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:36.240 read our Bible. We're gonna be people of excellence and integrity. 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:40.240 The second thing is we as a couple are committed 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:44.160 to each other. We may disagree, we may say things 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:47.160 we shouldn't, we may pou we may throw some fits, 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:49.480 but when it's all said and done, we're gonna get 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:53.240 over it. We're gonna forgive and move on. In other words, 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:56.800 leaving is not an option. We're committed through the good 0:03:56.840 --> 0:03:59.760 times and the tough times. We're committed through thick and 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:05.240 in lid. Then see if bailing out of that relationship 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:08.440 is an alternative, then you will always find some reason 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:10.800 to justify it. And Joe, we just can't get a 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:14.400 long man. We're not compatible. We tried and tried. No, 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:18.080 the truth is, no two people are really compatible. We 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.680 have to learn to become one. That means we have 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:25.159 to make sacrifices, we have to overlook things, we have 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:29.039 to be willing to compromise. Most of the time, when 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.920 somebody tells you that they're not compatible, what they're really 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:35.680 saying is I'm just too selfish, I'm not willing to change, 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:38.880 and I see too many people today getting married with 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:41.800 the attitude I'm gonna try this out and see if 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:44.520 it works. We'll go a couple of years and if not, 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:47.800 no big deal, I'll find somebody else. No, you'd be 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:50.599 much better off to stick with that person and make 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:53.000 that marriage work then to go try to make another 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:56.279 marriage work, and it'll always look like the grass is 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:59.320 greener on the other side. But don't ever forget. It 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:02.760 still has to be mode. You have to put something 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:07.960 into that relationship. There is no such thing, no such 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:11.400 thing as the perfect spouse. I know Victoria's been up 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.960 here before and said, oh, Joe, he's the perfect husband. 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:16.320 Don't believe that for a minute. She is calling that 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:21.600 by faith. I know I'm good looking, but I'm not perfect. 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:26.320 Stick with that man, Stick with that woman, Stay committed. 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:30.200 I heard somebody ask Billy Graham's wife if she ever 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:36.080 contemplated divorce. She said, divorce no, but murder yes. One 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.680 lady said, my husband and I got married for better 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:41.599 or for worse. He couldn't do any better, and I 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:46.920 sure couldn't do any worse. But sometimes we let the smallest, 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:51.040 most insignificant things build up and cause us to grow apart. 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:54.039 We've got to learn to let these things go. Don't 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:57.080 keep a running record of all of your mate's faults, 0:05:57.480 --> 0:06:00.680 everything they've done wrong. You get into a disc agreement, well, 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:02.880 I remember back in nineteen forty three you did the 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:06.760 same thing. Get rid of your list. Quit going back 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:10.279 to the past. You will never have a healthy relationship 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:12.719 as long as you keep bringing up a bunch of 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:16.680 negative history. Let it go and start each day afresh 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:20.159 and anew. And when you do have disagreements, learn to 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:23.200 disagree from the neck up. Don't let it get down 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:26.719 in here. Victoria and I don't always see eye to eye, 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:31.080 but we've learned how to agree to disagree. When you 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:34.039 present your case, don't try to make that other person 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:36.960 change their mind. Give them the right to have their 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:39.760 own opinion. If you're not going to be happy unless 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.400 they agree with you, then really what you're doing is 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.720 trying to manipulate them. You're trying to force your opinion 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:48.680 down their throat. Now, a better approach is to present 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:52.279 your case, share your heart, and then step back and 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:55.040 allow God to work on that person. But as long 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:57.960 as we're argumentative and we're trying to force our opinions 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:02.720 there's going to be strife. Their strife, there's confusion. There's 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:07.280 nothing worse than living in a home that's tense. Everybody's 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:10.520 on edge. You feel like in any moment something could explode. 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:13.640 Or you don't have to live that way. Do your 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.440 best to create an atmosphere of peace and unity in 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:20.360 your home. And when you're tempted to say things that 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:24.040 you know you shouldn't, maybe you're tempted to pop off 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:27.320 and say hurtful, critical things. The next time you have 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:31.360 that opportunity, do yourself a favor. Take a deep breath, 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:34.960 pause about ten seconds, and think about what you're going 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:38.160 to say. Do you know those words can cut like 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:41.640 a knife. It may only take you fifteen seconds to 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:45.200 say them, but three months later, the person will still 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:48.640 be feeling the steam. It's like a burn dealer touched 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:51.600 the stove. Men. You pull your hand off immediately, but 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:55.360 weeks and weeks later, it's still bothering you. That's what hurtful, 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:59.320 critical words can do. And we should never threaten our 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:03.440 spouse with divorce. It's very unhealthy. I've heard people say, 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.240 if you ever do that again, I'm out of here. 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:08.320 If you don't do this, I'm leaving. No, don't even 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:11.920 let those words out into the atmosphere. Your words have 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:15.680 created power. When you speak something like that out, you're 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.240 just giving the enemy a right to bring it to pass. 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:22.920 And the Bible tells us to be angry and sin not. 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:26.280 The truth is, at times we're all going to get angry. 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:29.400 Anger is an emotion God has given us. But we 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.520 don't have to blow up and say these hurtful things 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.599 that are going to damage our relationships. Let's learn to 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:38.920 take a step back, collect our thoughts, and think about 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.640 what we're gonna say. I love what my mother did. 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.160 One time, she and my father had gotten into a 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:47.319 disagreement and my dad was kind of put out, and 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:49.360 he decided he was going to give my mother the 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:52.440 silent treatment. Mother had come through the house and ask 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:55.719 him something, and Daddy would answer back in the shortest, 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:59.080 most unfriendly way he possibly could. I mean, he was 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:02.480 giving her the cold shouldered Deluxe. And this went on 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:04.840 for an hour or two, and he was doing his 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:07.760 best to ignore my mother. Well, my mother finally got 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:10.240 tired of it. She's kind of feisty, and she decided 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:13.000 to do something about it. So she went and hid 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:16.520 behind a door and she stayed there as still and 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:19.520 quiet as she could be. Well, my father got to 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:23.280 looking for her everywhere, couldn't find her anywhere. The more 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.840 he looked, the more frustrated he got. He said, it's 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:28.040 terrible to try to ignore somebody and you can't even 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:31.640 find them. This went on for ten or fifteen minutes, 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.439 and finally Daddy started getting kind of worried. He thought, man, 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:38.160 maybe the rapture came and I got left behind. About 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:41.200 that time, he walked past the door where my mother was, 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:45.080 and my mother jumped out on my father's back, wrapped 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:47.760 her arms and legs around him, and said, John, I'm 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:51.680 not getting off until you cheer up. They laughed so 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.040 much that my father forgot what he was mad about. 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:57.760 What's my point, ladies, You need to start jumping on 0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:03.680 your husband's back now, seriously. What I'm saying is to 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:09.160 create a fun, loving atmosphere in your home. These are 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:13.400 stressful times. We all get up tight. We all have disagreements, 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:16.400 but we should not allow that to linger, and too 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:19.520 often we get complacent. Well, I know I shouldn't say this, 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.400 but I'm mad. I'm gonna say it anyway. I know 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.319 I need to forgive, but I don't feel like it. 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.240 I'm gonna go around poutin for a couple of weeks. 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:30.240 Little by little, the relationship gets worse and worse. But 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:33.040 if we're gonna have strong, happy marriages, we have to 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:35.560 fight for that marriage. Now. I want to sound the 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:38.080 alarm while there's still time to do something about it. 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:41.680 Don't allow strife in your home. Don't play these petty games, 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:44.880 don't go around with bad attitudes. Do whatever it takes 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:47.400 to keep the peace. Victoria and I have been married 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:50.280 going on twenty years now, and we don't agree on 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:52.720 every single thing. But one thing I can tell you 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:56.400 is we are committed to each other. We're committed to 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:59.959 our family, we're committed to our children, and any difference 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:03.160 says we're going to work through them. I've known people 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.680 they're committed while they're dating. They're committed the first couple 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:10.320 of years of marriage. They're committed while everything's rosy. But 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.319 how about when the sizzle wears off, so to speak, 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:16.360 and you're not in never never Land so in love? 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.600 Now instead of that man romancing you, you're having to 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.360 pick up his dirty socks, You're having to wash his 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:26.040 smelly workout clothes. That takes commitment. For some of you, 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:29.600 it takes real commitment. Are men? How about when you 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:33.000 were dating she always looked perfect, dressed to a tea 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:36.040 you never saw or without her makeup. Now you wake 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:37.839 up in the morning you think, who is that woman 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:42.280 over there? But marriage is a commitment, not a feeling. 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.560 I heard a true story about a president of a 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:49.960 very prestigious university. He was an older gentleman, very well 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:54.840 respected leader. Later in his life, his wife developed Alzheimer's, 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:58.200 and unfortunately, month after month, it continued to get worse. 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.640 Several years down the road, it got so bad that 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:05.439 she could not even recognize her husband anymore. This man 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:08.120 was well to do, had plenty of people taking care 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.720 of her. But one day he went in and announced 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.120 to the board of the university that he was going 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:16.680 to resign so he could spend his full time taking 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:19.560 care of his wife. And man, they just couldn't understand it. 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:21.880 They tried to talk him out of it. They told 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:24.880 him how needed he was. One board member spoke up 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.160 and said, why would you even want to do this. 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:30.400 She doesn't even know who you are. He looked at 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:32.840 him and said, listen, I made a commitment to this 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.760 woman over fifty years ago. And she may not know 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.640 who I am, but I know who she is. That's 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:43.520 the kind of commitment that we need to have. And men, 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:47.400 God is going to hold us responsible to keep our 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:51.360 families together. The word husband comes from a Latin word 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:55.240 which means house band. Think of a rubber band that 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:58.319 keeps something together. That's what the husband is supposed to do. 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.840 And Solomon is a great examples for us. Men. He 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.600 was the wisest men that ever lived. And you know 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.400 what he did when he got up every morning, he 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:11.680 blessed his wife. He looked her in the eyes and said, 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:15.040 there are many beautiful women in the world, but you 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:19.400 excel them all. He started his day off by praising 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:23.480 and encouraging his wife. Men, you can imagine how our 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:27.680 relationships would improve if we'd start complimenting our wives like that. 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:30.600 I know some ladies they hadn't had a compliment in 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:33.360 ten years. All they hear about is what they're doing wrong, 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:35.559 How the dinner wasn't any good, The kids are being 0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:39.760 too loud. Now, that's out of balance. Take inventory of 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.920 what you're saying to your spouse. Are you complaining all 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.800 the time? Telling them what they're not doing right? Or 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:50.480 are you doing like Solomon blessing, encouraging, uplifting that man, 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:54.560 that woman. I heard somebody say that compliments are like 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:58.800 the glue that hold a relationship together. We all go 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:02.120 through difficult time, but if our spouse knows how much 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.439 we appreciate them and love them, then it's going to 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:07.960 make it a lot easier to get through those difficulties. 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:10.520 And Solomon wrote a book in the Bible. It's called 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:14.000 the Song of Solomon. It's a love story eight chapters long. 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:18.319 And in those eight chapters he praised his wife forty 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:23.160 different times. He was constantly talking about her strength, her beauty, 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:26.680 her intelligence. Well, you say, Joe, you don't know my wife. 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.440 She's the problem. She's argumented and she's hard to get 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.760 along with. Now let me tell you men, if you 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:34.840 start praising your wife, if you start telling her how 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.400 beautiful she is and how glad you are to have 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:40.480 her in your life. When you talk about the good, 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.280 you'll draw out the good. You talk about the negative, 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:45.320 you'll draw out the negative. It's up to each one 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.280 of us. Every day we should be saying, I appreciate 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:50.440 you being so kind, And you know what. You're a 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:53.080 great mother to our children. I'm so glad I can 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.720 always count on you. Men, speak the blessing over your 0:14:56.760 --> 0:14:59.560 wife and you'll see that lady rise to a new level. 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.160 Most people, all they need is a little encouragement, a 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:07.040 little praise. Now I've found if you'll treat your wife 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:10.640 like a queen, then she'll make you the king. And men, 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:14.240 we have to understand our wife needs our blessing, she 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:17.560 needs our approval. Well, Joel, I'm just not a real 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:19.600 romantic kind of guy. I just don't get into all 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:22.680 those gooey things. Now, this is not an option, it's 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:25.600 a necessity if you're going to have a healthy marriage. 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.160 Just like Solomon, we got to get in a habit 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:30.960 in the morning looking at your wife and saying, man, 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:33.840 you are beautiful. I'm glad you're in my life. There's 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:36.120 a lot of pretty girls, but you excel them all, 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:38.280 just like you brush your teeth in the morning. You 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.520 need to speak the blessing over your wife. Too. Many 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:46.160 women today are beaten down, depressed, lonely, insecure, and low 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:50.840 self esteem, all because the husband is not giving her 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:55.200 what God requires of him. The Bible says the wife 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:59.320 is a reflection of the man's glory. If Victoria got 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:02.480 up here, all be down and depressed, hair's missed up 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:05.600 clothes on iron, Well, me, as the husband, I have 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:09.280 the problem. She's reflecting my glory. I need to examine 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:12.960 my life. I should ask myself, Hey, am I treating 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:15.800 her right? Am I making her secure? Does she know 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:18.440 I'm proud of her that I think she's the best. 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.160 Men on a regular basis, we need to look at 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:24.280 our wives and see if they're reflecting our glory. Your 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:30.480 wife should be strong, confident, secure, beautiful, radiant healthy. You 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:32.480 should see it in her smile. You should see it 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:35.600 in the way she carries herself. I remember I used 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:38.000 to play basketball with this guy, and every time after 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:40.280 the game was over, he said, well, Joel, I got 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:43.160 to go home and see my old lady talking about 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:45.600 his wife. And I used to think, if you talk 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:48.240 about your wife like that, you must not think too 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:50.960 much of yourself, because she's reflecting you a glory. I'd 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:52.640 always smile and say, well, I'm gonna go home and 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:58.240 see Queen Victoria. She's the queen of our house. And 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.560 guess what, Since I've made her the queen, that makes 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:03.960 me the king, and I kind of like that. The 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:09.840 scripture says, because Solomon praised his wife, his children rose 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:13.640 up and blessed her as well. In other words, when 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:17.719 the husband praises and blesses the wife, the children are 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:21.679 going to follow. Men, we're setting an example. How we 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:25.159 treat our wives is going to have a great impact 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:30.360 on how our children respect and honor their mother. Your voice, tones, 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:35.159 your body language, all those things are being subconsciously taken 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:39.320 in by your children. Here's the thing, Dad's your daughter 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:42.239 is going to marry somebody just like you. That's what 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.679 all the studies tell us. We tend to marry people 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:48.600 like our parents. If you're hard and disrespectful, you go 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:53.199 around saying rude, hurtful things to your spouse, don't be 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:56.439 surprised if your daughter gravitates towards somebody just like that. 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.520 What this tells me is I need to treat my 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:03.280 wife the way I want somebody to treat my daughter. Ladies, 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:05.440 you need to treat your husband's the way you want 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:08.880 somebody to treat your sons. Men, open the car door 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.800 for your wife, take a coffee in the morning, go 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:15.200 out of your way to show respect. I heard somebody 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:17.800 say If a man ever opens the car door for 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:20.919 his wife, he's either got a new car or a 0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:24.440 new wife. But we need to get back to the 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:28.120 good old days of respect in an honor. May you say, Joel, 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:30.359 if I do that, my friends may look at me 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:32.320 as being kind of weak. They may give me a 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:34.640 hard time. Let me tell you you need to get 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:37.440 some new friends, because those are weak friends. A real 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:41.919 man can open the car door for his wife. And 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:46.640 here's the thing. Being male doesn't necessarily make you a man. 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:49.800 Taking care of your family makes you a man. Watching 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:53.920 over your children makes you a man. Speaking the blessing 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:57.280 over your wife, that makes you a real man. You 0:18:57.320 --> 0:18:59.520 may not have been raised in this kind of environment. 0:18:59.840 --> 0:19:03.640 You can set a new standard. You can raise the bar. Men. 0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:05.520 We're only going to go as high as how we 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:08.520 treat our wives. And if we're treating them a second class, 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:11.240 that's going to keep us from being everything God's created 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:15.240 us to be. And it's interesting. In reproduction, the father 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:18.960 is the one that gives the child identity. The female 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:22.480 has two X chromosomes. The male has an X and 0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:25.199 a Y. If the father gives the female an X, 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:27.560 it'll be a baby girl. It gives a wy, it'll 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:30.800 be a boy. But the female has no power to 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:34.840 determine the sex of the baby. The child's identity comes 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:38.199 solely through the father. What am I saying, Father's we 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:42.160 need to make especially sure that we affirm our children. 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:46.320 We have incredible influence over them, and every day, just 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:48.560 like we bless our wife, we need to be blessing 0:19:48.600 --> 0:19:51.040 our children. Look at that child and say, you know what, 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:54.080 I'm proud of you. I think you're great. There's nothing 0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:58.200 that you can't do. Your children need your approval. You're 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:01.400 helping them to form their identity. And if we're too 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:04.879 busy as fathers we're never there, or maybe we're just 0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:08.879 always correcting our children without ever showing them this other side, 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:11.840 then our children are not going to be as confident 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:15.359 and secure as they should be. And I know there 0:20:15.359 --> 0:20:17.560 are times when the father can't be there. There are 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:21.400 other responsibilities, but fathers, I'm asking us to do our 0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:26.040 best to keep our priorities in order. No amount of 0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.560 success in our career is going to make up for 0:20:28.600 --> 0:20:32.320 failure at home. Now, I've seen some men, they do 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:36.040 great things in the corporate world. They're great business leaders. 0:20:36.240 --> 0:20:39.080 And listen, I'm all for that, but they've done it 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:42.200 at the expense of their children. Their children grew up 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:46.119 without a father figure. Now, fathers, be involved in your 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:50.119 child's life. Bring them to church, be at their ballgames. 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:53.399 Know who their friends are. Listen to what they're listening 0:20:53.480 --> 0:20:57.920 to on their iPods. Children are looking for direction and guidance. No, 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:00.240 that young man comes over to take your daughter on 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:02.399 a date, you should be the first one at the door. 0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:05.160 Let him know there's a man in the house that's 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:08.359 watching after that young lady. Parents, we have to fight 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:11.840 for our children. If we will fight, then God will fight. 0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:17.200 A friend of mine growing up, this friend growing up, 0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:19.800 he told me as a teenager that he had a 0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:22.919 drug problem. I thought that was strange. He seemed like 0:21:22.920 --> 0:21:24.560 a good kid. I knew him very well. It didn't 0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:26.639 look like he was on drugs. He said, yeah, Joel, 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:31.720 every Sunday, my parents drugged me to church. They drugged 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:34.280 me to Sunday school, they drugged me to Bible study. 0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:37.120 And he said, you know what, those drugs are still 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:40.439 in my veins. They affect everything that I say and do. 0:21:41.960 --> 0:21:44.399 He went on to say, this world would be a 0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:48.159 better place if everybody had those kinds of drugs. What 0:21:48.240 --> 0:21:50.639 he was saying was, my parents took time from me. 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:55.080 They poured into my life. Years ago, at the largest 0:21:55.080 --> 0:21:58.840 game reserve in South Africa, they discovered that the elephants 0:21:58.880 --> 0:22:02.359 were overpopulated. There wasn't enough room for them all, and 0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:05.280 so they decided to take three hundred of the youngest 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:09.600 male elephants and separate them from their parents, from the 0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:12.440 other adults, and they sent them a couple hundred miles 0:22:12.440 --> 0:22:16.480 away to another national park. And the dominant animal at 0:22:16.520 --> 0:22:20.320 this national park was the white rhinoceros. And the rhinoceros 0:22:20.359 --> 0:22:24.040 has no natural enemies, nothing stocks it, not a line, 0:22:24.119 --> 0:22:27.119 a tiger, a bear. It's too powerful, and so they 0:22:27.119 --> 0:22:29.840 thought there would be no problem mixing the elephants in there. 0:22:30.359 --> 0:22:33.399 But over time they begin to find these dead rhinos 0:22:33.440 --> 0:22:36.440 out in the brush. They couldn't understand what was happening, 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:40.159 so they set up some surveillance cameras, and much to 0:22:40.280 --> 0:22:45.159 their surprise, they found that those young male elephants, the 0:22:45.160 --> 0:22:48.400 ones that no longer had a father figure a mother figure, 0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:51.840 they had formed gangs and they had gone in there 0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:55.080 and started killing the rhinoceros, which is not even in 0:22:55.240 --> 0:22:58.600 the elephant's nature. It's not even in the elephants god 0:22:58.680 --> 0:23:02.800 given instincts to that way. I believe that's the same 0:23:02.880 --> 0:23:06.800 thing that happens to our children many times. The reason 0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:10.000 our children get off course and teenagers do things that 0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:13.240 they shouldn't is because they don't have any positive role 0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:16.320 models in their life giving them any kind of guidance. 0:23:16.600 --> 0:23:19.600 They don't have anybody speaking the blessing, they don't have 0:23:19.640 --> 0:23:22.800 a father figure, and it doesn't mean that they're bad children. 0:23:23.280 --> 0:23:26.280 Is just when they're left without this guidance, any of 0:23:26.359 --> 0:23:29.320 us can do things that are not even in our nature. 0:23:29.840 --> 0:23:32.240 And I don't know if you realize today, but half 0:23:32.359 --> 0:23:36.560 of the children being raised are in fatherless homes. Fifty 0:23:36.600 --> 0:23:39.800 percent do not have a father figure in their life. 0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:42.840 And if you're a single parent mom in here, I 0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:45.320 know that God's going to give you the grace and 0:23:45.359 --> 0:23:47.600 the strength to do what you need to do. But 0:23:47.680 --> 0:23:51.639 I'm asking the fathers today to rise up and become 0:23:51.680 --> 0:23:56.000 the man that God's created you to be. Where are 0:23:56.040 --> 0:23:59.399 the fathers that will make a difference. Where are the 0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:03.200 fathers it will take time and make sacrifices to pour 0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:06.480 into that child's life. Don't take the easy way out. 0:24:06.520 --> 0:24:08.840 Man and just be a career man and make your 0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:12.240 wife do all the parenting your child needs you. You 0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:15.280 have something to give that only the father can give 0:24:15.320 --> 0:24:19.600 that child. And really, all of us who are healthy fathers, 0:24:19.880 --> 0:24:23.480 we have a responsibility to reach out to other children 0:24:23.680 --> 0:24:26.600 that don't have a father figure. We should all be 0:24:26.720 --> 0:24:30.439 mentoring a young man, mentoring a young woman. If you 0:24:30.520 --> 0:24:33.720 really want to be blessed, don't just fight for your family, 0:24:33.920 --> 0:24:37.080 fight for somebody else's family. Stand in the gap for 0:24:37.160 --> 0:24:40.760 that single parent mom. When you take your son out 0:24:40.800 --> 0:24:43.359 to hit base falls, swing by and pick up that 0:24:43.440 --> 0:24:46.120 young man that doesn't have a father figure. Or when 0:24:46.119 --> 0:24:49.040 you go camping with your family, ask that single mom 0:24:49.119 --> 0:24:52.040 if she and her children want to go along. Dads, 0:24:52.320 --> 0:24:56.400 reach out to some other child, help them discover their identity. 0:24:56.720 --> 0:24:58.240 I have a good friend that grew up in a 0:24:58.359 --> 0:25:02.320 very dysfunctional home. Her father was never around and her 0:25:02.320 --> 0:25:05.000 mother had plenty of problems on her own, and this 0:25:05.119 --> 0:25:08.639 young lady, as a teenager, was basically raising her younger 0:25:08.680 --> 0:25:11.800 brother and on the inside, she was crying out for help. 0:25:12.400 --> 0:25:15.000 One day, a friend of hers at school mentioned that 0:25:15.080 --> 0:25:18.840 her father owned a fast food restaurant and maybe he 0:25:18.880 --> 0:25:21.679 would give her a job. She went up there, and 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:24.280 that gentleman not only gave her a job, but he 0:25:24.320 --> 0:25:28.080 took her under his wing. He began to watch after her. 0:25:28.520 --> 0:25:30.639 He made sure she changed the oil in her car, 0:25:30.880 --> 0:25:33.199 made sure she was doing okay in school, on and on. 0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:36.639 He didn't even realize it, but he became the father 0:25:36.800 --> 0:25:40.880 figure that she had so longed for. Years later, when 0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:43.840 this young lady went to get married, father still not 0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:46.720 around at the wedding. You know who gave her away? 0:25:47.280 --> 0:25:50.359 The men from the fast food restaurant. See, he took 0:25:50.440 --> 0:25:53.480 time to care. He fought not only for his family, 0:25:53.960 --> 0:25:57.200 he fought for somebody else's child. That's what I'm asking 0:25:57.240 --> 0:26:00.880 you to do today. Don't be passive, too busy, don't 0:26:00.920 --> 0:26:05.720 be indifferent. Get involved in somebody else's life. Friends, Our 0:26:05.920 --> 0:26:09.320 homes are under attack today. Where are the fathers that 0:26:09.359 --> 0:26:11.920 will stand up? Where are the mothers that will be 0:26:11.960 --> 0:26:15.439 a great example? Where are the couples that will stick together? 0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:19.280 Let me challenge you. Fight for your marriage, fight for 0:26:19.320 --> 0:26:22.240 your sons, fight for your daughters. Keep the strife out 0:26:22.280 --> 0:26:25.280 of your home, and stick with that person that God 0:26:25.320 --> 0:26:28.080 has given you. If you will stay committed to each 0:26:28.119 --> 0:26:31.320 other and committed to God. There is nothing that you 0:26:31.400 --> 0:26:35.439 cannot overcome as a couple. Learn to be free with 0:26:35.560 --> 0:26:39.399 your compliments. Speak the blessing over your wife, over your husband, 0:26:39.480 --> 0:26:42.760 over your children, and then take it one step further. 0:26:43.080 --> 0:26:46.320 So is sde and mentor a young man mentor a 0:26:46.359 --> 0:26:49.399 young lady. If you do this, I know you'll not 0:26:49.480 --> 0:26:52.600 only have a great marriage, but your children will go further. 0:26:53.119 --> 0:26:56.199 Your family will grow stronger, and I believe you'll live 0:26:56.240 --> 0:26:58.600 the life of victory God has in store. Do you 0:26:58.640 --> 0:27:02.320 receive it today? I know you do. We never like 0:27:02.359 --> 0:27:05.760 to close all broadcast without giving you an opportunity to 0:27:05.840 --> 0:27:08.320 make Jesus the lord of your life. Would you pray 0:27:08.359 --> 0:27:12.879 with me? Just say, Lord, Jesus, I'll repent of my sins. 0:27:14.080 --> 0:27:19.400 Come into my heart. I make you my Lord and savior. Friends, 0:27:19.440 --> 0:27:21.680 if you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got 0:27:21.720 --> 0:27:24.840 born again. Get in a good Bible based church. Keep 0:27:24.880 --> 0:27:27.600 God first place. He's going to take your places you've 0:27:27.600 --> 0:27:28.240 never dreamed of. 0:27:30.119 --> 0:27:33.000 Sometimes the stresses of life can feel like you're just 0:27:33.040 --> 0:27:37.359 getting by. God wants to bless us, But how do 0:27:37.440 --> 0:27:40.680 you move from barely enough to just enough to more 0:27:40.760 --> 0:27:41.280 than enough? 0:27:42.920 --> 0:27:45.560 We all face difficulties and people that are hard to 0:27:45.640 --> 0:27:48.879 deal with. You can't eliminate all the stress, but if 0:27:48.920 --> 0:27:51.280 you'll handle it the right way, you don't have to 0:27:51.320 --> 0:27:55.040 live stressed out. Much of our frustration is we're trying 0:27:55.040 --> 0:27:58.480 to control things that we can't control, letting things stress 0:27:58.560 --> 0:28:01.000 us that don't have to. I'd love to send you 0:28:01.040 --> 0:28:04.040 by new book, fifty five Ways to be Blessed and 0:28:04.160 --> 0:28:07.360 Not Stressed. I'll show you practical things you can do 0:28:07.600 --> 0:28:10.200 to live more peaceful and enjoy each day. 0:28:10.640 --> 0:28:14.159 You can move from stressed to blessed and fully realize 0:28:14.160 --> 0:28:18.000 God's goodness, favor, and blessings. As our way of saying 0:28:18.080 --> 0:28:20.920 thank you for your gift of any amount to the ministry, 0:28:20.960 --> 0:28:23.720 this month, Joel and Victoria would like to send you 0:28:23.840 --> 0:28:28.240 this powerful life transforming resource, fifty five Ways to be 0:28:28.280 --> 0:28:32.280 Blessed and Not Stressed. With this book, you'll not just 0:28:32.359 --> 0:28:36.919 see one pathway forward, but fifty five powerful life changing 0:28:36.960 --> 0:28:39.880 ways to kill the stress and give life to a 0:28:39.960 --> 0:28:43.959 life of blessing. These fifty five promises will open God's 0:28:43.960 --> 0:28:47.640 floodgates and release double the impact of his divine direction, 0:28:48.040 --> 0:28:53.280 opportunity and blessing every day. Now expect, declare, and receive 0:28:53.360 --> 0:28:58.080 a blessed not stressed over the top outpouring in your life. 0:28:58.120 --> 0:29:01.800 How much time are you spending worry, upset, and frustrated. 0:29:02.080 --> 0:29:05.000 Life is too short to live stressed. If you'll make 0:29:05.040 --> 0:29:08.800 some simple adjustments, you can live blessed and not stressed. 0:29:09.280 --> 0:29:11.400 Victoria and I want you to know we're praying for 0:29:11.480 --> 0:29:14.680 you that you'll experience peace and joy and see your 0:29:14.720 --> 0:29:17.640 dreams come to pass. Thank you so much for your 0:29:17.680 --> 0:29:22.160 prayers and support. Your generosity is impacting lives all over 0:29:22.240 --> 0:29:26.720 the world. Remember you can watch the services online Sunday mornings, 0:29:27.080 --> 0:29:32.400 download our daily podcast, listen on Serious XM YouTube social media. 0:29:32.520 --> 0:29:35.120 But until we meet again, let the Lord bless you 0:29:35.320 --> 0:29:36.000 and keep you. 0:29:36.720 --> 0:29:39.600 Be sure to request your copy of fifty five Ways 0:29:39.640 --> 0:29:43.640 to be blessed and not stressed today. Visit Joelostein dot 0:29:43.640 --> 0:29:47.120 com or call eight eight eight five six seven Joel