Recognizing What Battles To Fight

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See terms and conditions at 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:30.120 UNEs dot co. 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:33.440 Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:36.520 Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:37.240 the ministry. 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:39.680 If you enjoyed today's messy, why don't you be a 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:41.240 blessing and share it with a friend. 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:44.280 We appreciate you and pray for God's very best in 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:44.840 your line. 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:49.120 Well, God bless you. 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:52.360 It is always a joy to come into your homes. 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:54.960 We love you, We know God has great things in 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:57.559 store for you. And if you're ever in our area, 0:01:57.680 --> 0:01:59.320 I hope you'll stop by and be a part of 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:01.600 one of our service says. I say it often, but 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:03.920 these are the finest people in all of Houston, right 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:04.720 here at Lakewood. 0:02:04.880 --> 0:02:06.280 We'll make you feel right at home. 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:09.280 Thanks for tuning in. Thank you again for coming out. 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:12.000 I like to start with something funny each week. And 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:15.320 I heard about this blonde lady. And you know I'm 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:18.360 married to a beautiful, smart, intelligent blonde. This is just 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:21.880 a joke. But this blonde was at Target and she 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:24.680 saw this thermous up on the shelf. She asked the 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:27.480 clerk what it was. He said, that's a thermist. You've 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:28.480 never used one of those. 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:30.000 She said, no, What does it do? 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:33.600 He said, it keeps things hot and it keeps things cold. 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:36.280 The next day she showed up at work with it. 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:38.680 Her boss said, I've never seen you with the thermist. 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.200 What do you have in there? She said, two popsickles 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:46.280 and some coffee. All right, hold up your Bible. Say 0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:49.400 it like you mean it. This is my Bible. I 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:52.000 am what it says I am. I have what it 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:54.600 says I have. I can do what it says I 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:57.880 can do. Today I will be taught the word of God. 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:03.040 I boldly confess. My mind is alert, my heart is receptive. 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:07.040 I will never be the same. In Jesus' name, God 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:10.400 bless you. I want to talk to you today. About 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:15.360 recognizing what battles to fight. One thing I've learned is 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:19.640 not every battle is worth fighting. Many of the challenges 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:23.120 that come our way are simply distractions to try to 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:26.959 lure us from our destiny. And when we have opportunities 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:30.760 to get upset, maybe somebody is talking about us, or 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:33.480 a competitor at work is spreading rumors, or. 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:35.440 Our spouse says something that they shouldn't have. 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:39.160 You have to ask yourself if I engage in this 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:43.200 battle and spend my time and energy trying to straighten 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:48.000 somebody out, defending myself, arguing with the family member, trying 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:49.160 to prove that I'm right. 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:51.120 Even if I win. 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:54.480 This battle, what is the prize going to be? What 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:58.480 is this fight going to accomplish? For instance, that person 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:01.600 that cuts me off in traffic, If I get upset 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:04.040 and cut him back off and let that ruin the 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:07.240 rest of my morning, how is that going to benefit me? 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.760 I don't even know the person. Five minutes later, they're 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:14.560 not in my life. What's my point? There are no spoils. 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.440 That's not a battle that is worth fighting. The reason 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:21.720 many people are missing out on God's best is they're 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:26.559 distracted fighting battles that don't really matter. Trying to prove 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:30.440 themselves to people, trying to win over all their critics, 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:34.159 playing up to someone trying to get their approval, those 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:35.520 are all distractions. 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:37.840 We need to choose our battles. 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:41.440 Wisely, we're not supposed to be in a fight mode 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:42.200 all of the time. 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:45.000 And I know people every other minute. 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:48.760 They're upset with their spouse, aggravated at a neighbor, going 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.560 to straighten somebody out at the office where they're. 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:52.159 Talking about me. 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:55.120 I'm going to show them how wrong they are the 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:58.400 next six months. That consumes them, their time, their energy. 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:00.279 They don't realize. 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:04.000 That's not a battle worth fighting. There are no spoils. 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:06.480 Even if they do win, it's not going to put 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:09.600 them further down the road. If we make the mistake 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:13.400 of engaging in every battle that comes along, and we're 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:18.640 constantly defending ourselves, proving our point, straightening somebody out, then 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:21.240 we're not going to have the energy we need to 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:25.120 fight the battles that do matter. We're supposed to be warriors, 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:28.840 But a warrior doesn't just fight any battle. He only 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:32.520 fights battles where there is a spoil, a battle that 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.359 is between him and his god given destiny. 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:38.680 I think about David as a shepherd boy. 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:42.479 His father asked him to take his brother's lunch that 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:43.920 were out on the battlefield. 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:45.239 They had a much. 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:48.800 More prestigious position. David was stuck just taking care of 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:52.120 his father's sheep, and when he got out there, he 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:55.919 heard Goliath taunting the people, making fun of them. He 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.800 asked the men standing around, what is the prize for 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:03.440 the man that defeats this giant. They said, the reward 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:06.560 that person will get is one of the king's daughters 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:09.880 in marriage, and they won't have to pay any more taxes. 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:13.120 Of course, that got David's attention. He knew that was 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:15.920 a battle worth fighting. There was spoils, there was a 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:21.479 reward there. When David's older brother Eliab heard David talking 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:25.000 about fighting the giant, he tried to embarrass him and 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.400 from all those men, he said, David, what are you 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:31.560 even doing out here? And what have you done with 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:34.800 those few sheep our father has left you with. He 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:37.840 tried to make him feel small. He was saying, David, 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:41.200 you're just a shepherd boy. You're not important, You'll never 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:42.159 do anything great. 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:44.880 I love the way David responded. 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:50.120 The scripture says that David turned and walked away from Eliab. 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:54.679 One reason David was a champion was he knew which 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:59.000 battles to fight. David had feelings just like you and I. 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.760 I'm sure he wanted to say, oh, Eliab, you think 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:03.320 you're something great, You're. 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:03.839 Nothing at all. 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:08.880 He could have easily gotten into strife, started arguing, trying 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:10.680 to prove to Eliab. 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:11.400 That he was important. 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:14.800 But if he would have engaged in that battle, if 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.920 he would have taken that bait, he would have gotten distracted, 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:21.720 wasted his time and energy. And who knows if he 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:25.400 would have ever defeated Goliath. Who knows if he had 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.640 ever gotten to the battle that really mattered. 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:29.240 You have to ask. 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:33.960 Yourself, are the battles I'm engaged in worth fighting? Do 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:37.520 they have any rewards? Are they furthering me toward my 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:41.440 god given destiny? Or am I just fighting to pay 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:44.520 somebody back that offended me, or fighting to prove to 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:48.320 someone that I'm important? Now those are distractions. Now, I 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:52.280 dare say most of the frustrations that come our way 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:56.240 are not worth fighting for. If it's not between you 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:59.680 and your god given destiny, you should simply ignore it. 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:04.080 Somebody doesn't want to be your friend. Somebody doesn't accept you. 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.480 That's not going to keep you from your destiny. Somebody's 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:09.880 rude to you at the office, somebody cuts you off 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:13.000 in traffic. That's not worth starting World War three over. 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:17.160 Don't engage in that battle. In the big picture, it 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:20.120 doesn't even matter. When we get caught up in the 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:24.600 petty battles, the non essential ones, we may miss the 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.800 goliath that God puts in our path to push us 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:29.160 into our divine destiny. 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:32.480 The battles that do matter will come. 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:36.000 We need to save our strengths, save our energy for 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:40.640 what's really important. And these days we're too easily offended, 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:44.600 We're too touchy. I had a lady tell me last week, Joel, 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.720 the reason I quit coming to church, the reason I 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:51.760 hadn't been here in two months, is because everybody was 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:52.520 talking about me. 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:54.760 Everybody was against me. 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.200 I didn't say it, but I thought, ma'am, everybody doesn't 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:01.440 know you sit on that side of the building. The 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:03.960 people that sit over there probably have never even seen you. 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.920 What happened She got engaged in a battle that wasn't 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:12.160 worth fighting. One person offended her, somebody said something she 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:16.440 didn't like. Instead of letting it go and thinking, this 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.400 battle doesn't have any spoils. This battle, even if our 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.400 win's not gonna bring me a prize. She fell into 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:25.320 that trap. Well, I'm not gonna come to church. Just 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:25.840 show them. 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:27.120 See how they take that. 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:30.280 Funny thing is services seem to be just as good 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:32.200 as ever, matter of fact, a little bit better than normal. 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:34.880 That's what happens when we. 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:37.959 Get involved in a battle that's not important. Things get 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:41.920 blown out of proportion, things get magnified. Everybody's against me, 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:47.160 everybody's talking about me. Now I say this respectfully. Everybody 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:52.559 doesn't know you. Everybody's not really interested. She got distracted 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.319 trying to prove her point, and it ended up not 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:59.160 hurting anyone except herself. I remember years ago I was 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:01.280 at the mall with the friend of mine and we 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:04.040 were headed toward our car. It was about fifty or 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.800 sixty feet in front of us out the doors, and 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:08.760 all of a sudden he stopped and said, now let's 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:11.560 don't go this way, let's go that way. I said, why, 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:15.000 our car's right here. He said, no, I don't walk 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:19.040 by that store. They did me wrong. He said, it's 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:22.559 so dramatic and so serious. I thought, for sure they'd 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.160 accused him of something terrible, or they'd stolen a lot 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:25.920 of money from him. 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:27.000 I said, what happened? 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.640 He said, they wouldn't take back a pair of shoes 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:33.960 that had been like twenty years earlier. No doubt the 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:38.880 original people were dead and gone. Here he's still trying 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:42.320 to fight a battle that has no spoils. The people 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:45.360 he's trying to prove a point to are probably in heaven. 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:48.400 If not, they're in Florida, sitting on the beach, enjoying 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:52.400 their life. He's wasting his time and energy trying to 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:55.280 pay somebody back. They're not even there to pay back. 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:57.560 I want to say, man, live, just let it go. 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:01.160 I'll buy you some new shoes. Let me ask you, 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:06.000 are you still fighting battles that have no spoils, battles 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:09.280 that are taking your time and energy and keeping you 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:12.800 from pursuing what's really important, your god given goals, your 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:13.840 god given dreams. 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:15.920 Choose your battles wisely. 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:19.560 We only have so much energy, and when we get 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:23.319 caught up in these things that don't matter, upset, offended, 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:27.400 holding a grudge, paying somebody back, then when the real 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:31.160 giant comes along, a real goliath, that's there to push 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:34.400 us into our divine destiny. We won't have the focus 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.680 nor the energy to win that battle. We have to 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:41.640 realize some things just don't matter. Don't make a big 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:44.719 deal out of it. When I first got married, I'd 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:47.920 get so up tight if Victoria didn't turn all the 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:51.040 lights off at the house when she left. That was 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.040 my pet peeve, and I'd give her my speech again 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:54.640 and again. Victoria, you got to be sure and turn 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:56.760 all the lights off when I'd come home and all 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:58.960 the lights were on, and I'd get so up tight 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:01.480 and go give her my say speech. She didn't do 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:04.880 it on purpose. We just have different personalities, different strengths. 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:10.120 And after about five years of harping on that I'm 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:14.720 a slow learner, y'all, bringing tension into the house, getting 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:17.840 up tight, it finally dawned on me, Joe, this is 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.960 not a battle worth fighting. If it costs you an 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:24.200 extra ten dollars a month in electricity, that is well 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:25.760 worth keeping the peace in your home. 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:27.400 What's my point? 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:32.240 The rewards were not big enough for the heartache it 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:35.080 was causing me. It is worth ten dollars to have 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:38.680 peace in our homes. How many battles are you involved 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:42.280 in that do not have big enough rewards? How many 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:46.120 arguments are you instigating or how much tension are you 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:49.640 bringing into the home that could easily be avoided, which 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:53.240 is some minor adjustments. And you may be right, you 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:55.960 may be able to win the victory, but a lot 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:58.880 of times we win the battle, but we come out 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:02.280 so battles. Guard were beat up, wounded, We said things 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.560 we know we shouldn't have, mad at ourselves, brought tension 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:08.520 into the house. We won the battle, but we're sleeping 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.720 in the garage. We won the battle, but our spouse 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:15.880 is not talking to us. Recognize that battle does not 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.800 have big enough rewards. You'd have been better off to 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:21.280 be the bigger person, to overlook it, to let it 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.600 go for the sake of peace. I heard somebody say 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:28.200 a bulldog can whip a skunk any day of the week, 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:29.439 but sometimes he. 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.720 Realizes it's just not worth the stink. 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:35.280 You may be right, you may have all the facts 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:37.800 on your side, but is it worth the stink? Is 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:39.720 it worth the pressure the tension is going to bring 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:43.360 into the home. What are the rewards? It's not enough 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:46.400 to just well, I prove that I was right now 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.440 you'd be better to let someone else think they're right 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:52.200 so you can keep peace in your home. Now, I 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:56.240 found it's easy to start a fight, but it's hard 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:59.240 to end to fight. It's easy to start an argument. 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:01.920 It's to get offended and say things that we know 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.280 we shouldn't, but it's hard to stop it. It's hard 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.600 to let it go. It's much better to never even 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:10.960 start it. That's what it says in Proverbs twenty verse three. 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:15.480 Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor. If you 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.600 want God to honor you, if you want to enjoy 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:21.600 your life, you need to be a peacemaker. Be the 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:25.840 kind of person that will avoid an unnecessary fight, a 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:29.280 fight that's not going to produce any good rewards. Your 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:32.440 home needs to be a place of peace. You and 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:35.800 your spouse need to be in harmony. You are stronger 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:39.800 together than you are a part. Not only that, your 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:43.240 children need to see a good example. They're gonna treat 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.680 their family the same way they see you treating each other. 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:48.920 Don't make a big deal out of things that are 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:52.080 not a big deal. Remember the reason why you fell 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:55.040 in love with that person. Focus on their good qualities. 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:59.640 I heard somebody say people will leave a marriage. They'll 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:03.800 leave somebody that has eighty percent of what they need 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.600 because they find the other twenty percent in somebody else. 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:11.680 But what they don't realize is nobody has it all. 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.960 And if you leave the eighty to find the twenty 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.040 that your spouse doesn't have, you'll soon realize that other 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:21.960 person is lacking in twenty percent of something else. You're 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:24.520 still gonna have something to deal with. It'd be better 0:15:24.600 --> 0:15:27.440 to just recognize no one person. 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:28.720 Can give me everything that I need. 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.240 I'm not gonna get frustrated and try to change something 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.800 I can't change, or try to make somebody. 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:36.320 Give me something that they don't have. 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:40.200 And yes, the grass always looks greener on the other side, 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:42.480 but remember it still has to be mode. 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:43.720 Just stick with what you have. 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:49.040 I've known people that have spent years and years trying 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:52.520 to win the approval of someone playing up to them, 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:56.600 sacrificing their own identity, their own goals, to try to 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.720 impress a boss or to try to win over one 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:03.320 of their critics. The problem is that person is never 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:06.200 going to give them their approval. If we're gonna live 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:09.760 in victory, we have to accept the fact that not 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:13.360 everyone is going to like us, and not everyone is 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:14.800 going to agree with us. 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:16.880 I saw an interesting statistic. 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.560 It said, twenty five percent of the people you meet 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:25.440 won't like you and never will. Twenty five percent won't 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:29.920 like you but could be persuaded to twenty five percent 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:34.120 will like you, but could be persuaded not to twenty 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:36.800 five percent will like you and stand by you no 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:40.560 matter what. Life gets a lot freer when we realize 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.120 if this person doesn't like me, if they don't want 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:44.680 to be my friend, if they don't give me the 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:46.480 time of day, no big deal. 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:48.080 I'm not gonna get upset. 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:51.600 I'm not gonna spend the next two years frustrated trying 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:54.600 to win them over. I realize they're one of the 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:57.360 twenty five percent that are never gonna like me. I 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:01.080 could compliment them every hour, send them flowers every day, 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:04.119 mow their lawn every week, but this old go I mean. 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:07.960 This person is never gonna like me. Here's the key. 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:12.560 You should not waste your valuable time and energy playing 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:15.879 up to them, trying to change their mind, trying to 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:17.760 convince them that you're important. 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:19.600 Those are distractions. 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:23.040 You don't need their approval to be who God made 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:23.399 you to be. 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:25.879 You don't have to have them accept you. 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:30.280 If you will let that go and not get involved 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:33.440 in battles that don't matter, then God will not only 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:37.240 send you people that accept and approve you, but he'll 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:41.680 send people that celebrate you, people that celebrate your talents 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:45.800 and celebrate your personality and celebrate your accomplishments. You won't 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:49.359 have to constantly be trying to prove yourself, walking on 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:52.359 eggshells hoping that you're good enough. No, you can just 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:55.639 relax and be who God made you to be, and 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:57.440 they'll think you're the greatest. 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:57.879 Thing in the world. 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:01.280 It's like when I was growing up, my grandmother, in 0:18:01.359 --> 0:18:04.639 her eyes, I could do no wrong. Somebody ate the 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.760 chocolate chip cookies before dinner. Who was it not my 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:12.120 darling Joel. It may have been one of his three sisters, 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:15.520 but I know Joel would never do that. My sisters 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:19.080 used to get so aggravated. They'd say, Grandmama thinks Joel 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:21.640 is a saint. I can't help it. I even had 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:25.840 favor back then. But that's the kind of people God 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.840 wants to bring you. People that are for you, people 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.800 that believe the best, people that celebrate. 0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:35.560 Who you are. Here's something important. 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:40.120 Quit wasting your time trying to win somebody over that's 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:43.280 never gonna be one over. Quit trying to make somebody 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:46.199 love you that's never gonna love you. Quit trying to 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:49.119 persuade them to be your friend when they're never gonna 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:52.359 be your friend. If you have to constantly play up 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:55.800 to them and convince them you're important and talk them 0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:58.800 into spending time with you, that is a battle that's 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:02.000 not worth fighting. You need to have the attitude. I 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.920 know I have something great to offer. I am one 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:07.960 of a kind. I have a great personality, I have 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.320 the right looks, and I'm not going to live my 0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:13.360 life trying to make people love me, trying to convince 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:15.399 them that I'm good enough. I'm going to let that 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:19.480 go and start trusting God to bring me divine connections 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:25.480 people that will celebrate who I am. Years ago, there 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:28.240 was this couple that I knew and I really wanted 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:31.240 to be their friend, but they were not that friendly 0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:34.520 to me. They were cordial, they would say hello, but 0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:37.240 it just seemed like there was always something that was 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:41.240 keeping them from accepting and approving me. I just could 0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:44.760 not understand that I went out of my way to 0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:49.159 win their approval. I introduced them to friends of mine. 0:19:49.520 --> 0:19:52.680 In fact, one connection led to them starting a business together. 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:54.280 You'd think they'd be. 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:57.399 Appreciative and it may at least be friendly, but still nothing. 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:01.320 And eventually they got transferred and re located to another city, 0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:04.280 and I found people to help them move and even 0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:06.840 gave them a gift for their new home. But in 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:09.360 spite of all that I did, they would never even 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:11.920 give me the time of day. And on top of that, 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:14.880 a couple of years later, I got word that they 0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:18.240 were talking bad about me. They thought I hadn't done enough, 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:21.919 hadn't treated them right. And here there was nobody in 0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:24.760 the world that I had done more for than that couple. 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.400 I realize now they're just one of the twenty five 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.040 percent that are never going to like me. I wish 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:34.520 i'd known back then what I know now, that you 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:37.040 don't have to play up to people. You don't have 0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:39.280 to convince them to like you, don't have to buy 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:41.920 people off if they don't want to be your friend. 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:44.480 Just have the attitude. Too bad for you. 0:20:44.480 --> 0:20:46.040 You don't know what you're missing out on. 0:20:47.240 --> 0:20:51.960 When I quit fighting those battles, that's when God began 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:55.040 to bring people into my life that would celebrate me. 0:20:55.680 --> 0:20:58.760 It wasn't long after that that I met Victoria, And 0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:00.560 even if she does leave the life so on, I'll 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:05.920 still take her. She celebrates me, I celebrate her. One 0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:10.120 reason people will never accept us is because they're so insecure. 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:13.560 They'll never give you a compliment, never let you in 0:21:13.640 --> 0:21:17.560 their group, because they're intimidated. They're threatened by you, and 0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:20.560 the way they express that insecurity is to try to 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:24.560 push you down so they will look bigger. They minimize 0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:28.119 so they can equalize. They'll diminish who you are and 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:31.280 what you have to offer and your accomplishments so they 0:21:31.280 --> 0:21:34.760 won't look so small. People like that you're never going 0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:38.200 to change. That's a battle that's not worth fighting. If 0:21:38.200 --> 0:21:41.320 you'll let it go, God will bring people into your 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:44.320 life that add value, not take away. 0:21:44.840 --> 0:21:46.719 People that will celebrate. 0:21:46.200 --> 0:21:49.040 Who you are and be happy for you when you succeed, 0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:52.560 not people that find fault, not people that get jealous. 0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:57.000 We shouldn't waste our time in battles that are not winnable. 0:21:57.800 --> 0:22:00.880 Some people, no matter what you say or do, they're 0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:03.480 never going to change their mind. Really, all they want 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:04.560 to do is argue. 0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:06.080 They just like to fight. 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:08.480 If they're not fighting with you, they'll be fighting with 0:22:08.520 --> 0:22:12.439 somebody else. One thing I've especially learned is don't argue 0:22:12.440 --> 0:22:17.480 the scripture, don't debate doctrine. Right after I first started ministering, 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:20.480 this older gentleman came up to me, and he was. 0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:21.600 Very, very serious. 0:22:21.880 --> 0:22:24.960 He said, Joel, I need to know what you believe 0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:29.440 about the second dispensation of the spirit. I thought, dear God, 0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:31.440 I must have missed the first one. 0:22:32.560 --> 0:22:33.440 I said, sir, I. 0:22:33.400 --> 0:22:36.480 Don't really know all about that. He said, well, Joel, 0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:39.919 I believe this and this and this. I said, you 0:22:39.920 --> 0:22:41.800 know what, I think you're right. I agree with you. 0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:44.520 He looked at me kind of puzzled. He said, yeah, 0:22:44.560 --> 0:22:47.600 but I believe this and this and this. I said, 0:22:47.600 --> 0:22:50.480 I agree exactly. He looked at me more confused, got 0:22:50.520 --> 0:22:52.280 a little bit redder in the face. Yeah, but Joel, 0:22:52.280 --> 0:22:54.639 I believe this and this here. He had won the 0:22:54.760 --> 0:22:55.640 argument three. 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:58.960 Times, but he wasn't happy. He wasn't satisfied. He wanted 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:02.440 to keep arguing. He was in that fight mode. 0:23:02.600 --> 0:23:05.879 Finally, he was halfway convinced that I agreed, and he 0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:08.520 walked away. And when he got about ten steps from me, 0:23:08.800 --> 0:23:12.040 I say, excuse me, sir, I'm not sure I agree 0:23:12.080 --> 0:23:14.200 with that one thing. He turned back around. I said, 0:23:14.200 --> 0:23:15.800 I'm just kidding. I'm just playing. 0:23:16.800 --> 0:23:18.040 He's ready to fight again. 0:23:18.960 --> 0:23:21.960 People like that that always want to argue, that's a 0:23:22.000 --> 0:23:26.160 battle that's not worth fighting. Even if you do win 0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:28.480 over one of your critics, you know what, I found, 0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:31.359 two more are gonna pop up. The best way to 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:33.960 answer your critics is not with your words, but with 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:37.200 your actions. The best way to answer them is to 0:23:37.280 --> 0:23:38.280 let them see the. 0:23:38.160 --> 0:23:40.480 Fruit of a well lived life. 0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:44.520 A reporter asked Bill Cosby the secret of success. He said, 0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:47.000 I don't know the secret of success, but I do 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.720 know the secret of failure, and that is. 0:23:49.720 --> 0:23:51.119 To try to please everybody. 0:23:51.840 --> 0:23:54.399 You have to accept that not everybody's gonna like you, 0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:55.639 not everybody's. 0:23:55.119 --> 0:23:57.160 Gonna understand you. But that's okay. 0:23:57.680 --> 0:24:00.199 Just run your race, be the best that you can be, 0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:03.280 and God will take care of your critics. I think 0:24:03.320 --> 0:24:07.440 about when Niamiah was rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. There 0:24:07.480 --> 0:24:09.960 were two men at the bottom of the mountain named 0:24:10.000 --> 0:24:14.560 Sanballat and Tobias. They were his biggest critics the whole 0:24:14.600 --> 0:24:18.159 time he was up there working. They were hollering, Neemiah, 0:24:18.440 --> 0:24:21.320 come down here and fight with us. You are never 0:24:21.359 --> 0:24:23.600 going to finish that wall. You don't have what it takes. 0:24:24.200 --> 0:24:27.360 But I love the fact that Niamiah was focused. They 0:24:27.359 --> 0:24:31.320 were making a lot of noise, threatening him, calling him names, 0:24:31.520 --> 0:24:35.400 but he recognized there was no benefit to fighting with them. 0:24:35.920 --> 0:24:39.199 That was not going to accomplish anything. He knew they 0:24:39.240 --> 0:24:42.840 were simply a distraction. When God puts a dream in 0:24:42.920 --> 0:24:45.800 your heart, there will always be the sand ballads and 0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:50.080 Tobias is trying to engage you in battles that don't matter. 0:24:50.800 --> 0:24:54.320 They may talk a mean talk, say things behind your back. 0:24:54.760 --> 0:24:57.920 They'll try to lure you into strength, but you've got 0:24:57.960 --> 0:25:01.320 to be disciplined enough to reckonognize when it's. 0:25:01.200 --> 0:25:02.919 A battle that's even worth fighting. 0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:07.760 Just like David recognized that Elieb was simply a distraction, 0:25:08.520 --> 0:25:10.440 Niamiyah realized. 0:25:10.119 --> 0:25:11.800 These two men were one as well. 0:25:12.400 --> 0:25:15.720 You have to evaluate that situation and only get involved 0:25:15.760 --> 0:25:18.880 in battles that will bring you a prize. I'm sure 0:25:18.960 --> 0:25:21.240 Niamiah could have come down off the wall and put 0:25:21.240 --> 0:25:23.440 a stop to those two men. I'm sure he could 0:25:23.440 --> 0:25:27.639 have defeated them. But Niamiah understood this principle of not 0:25:27.840 --> 0:25:31.760 wasting time and energy fighting battles that don't really matter. 0:25:32.680 --> 0:25:35.600 One time in the Old Testament, a prophet was walking 0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:38.880 down the street and this young man started making fun 0:25:38.920 --> 0:25:42.919 of him, calling him names, even throwing rocks. He followed 0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:46.680 him everywhere that he went, just pestering him, trying to 0:25:46.720 --> 0:25:49.480 pick a fight, trying to aggravate him. Finally, the men 0:25:49.560 --> 0:25:51.800 with the prophet said, do you want us to put 0:25:51.800 --> 0:25:52.560 a stop to him? 0:25:52.680 --> 0:25:54.080 Do you want us to shut him up? He is 0:25:54.119 --> 0:25:54.960 a real pain. 0:25:55.760 --> 0:25:58.359 I love the way the prophet answered. He said, no, 0:25:59.000 --> 0:26:02.840 let him keep talking. Maybe God will hear him and 0:26:03.000 --> 0:26:06.040 bless me for it. That's the attitude we need to 0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:09.040 have when somebody's talking about us. Instead of getting upset 0:26:09.359 --> 0:26:12.520 trying to defend ourselves, let's believe God will hear them 0:26:12.760 --> 0:26:16.359 and bless us for it. That takes all the pressure off. 0:26:16.760 --> 0:26:19.280 We don't have to try to pay people back. We 0:26:19.320 --> 0:26:23.480 don't have to get involved in battles that don't really matter. 0:26:23.960 --> 0:26:27.200 We know God is our vindicator and he's gonna bless 0:26:27.280 --> 0:26:31.479 us because of what they're saying. That means if somebody's 0:26:31.520 --> 0:26:35.480 trying to make you look bad, spreading rumors, telling lies. Really, 0:26:35.680 --> 0:26:38.280 they have done you a favor. What they mean for 0:26:38.359 --> 0:26:40.959 your harm, God is going to use to promote you. 0:26:41.800 --> 0:26:44.320 And I know this to be true because we have 0:26:44.440 --> 0:26:47.680 never tried to answer our critics. The more they talk, 0:26:47.840 --> 0:26:50.480 the more God promotes us. The more they talk, the 0:26:50.560 --> 0:26:53.800 higher we go. And when you're pursuing your goals and 0:26:53.880 --> 0:26:56.280 dreams in life, there's gonna be the critics in the 0:26:56.400 --> 0:26:59.920 naysayers telling you you can't do it, threatening you, try 0:27:00.119 --> 0:27:03.720 to distract you, but understand you don't have time to 0:27:03.760 --> 0:27:06.439 come down off that wall. You don't have time to 0:27:06.480 --> 0:27:09.399 convince your critics. You don't have time to argue. You 0:27:09.520 --> 0:27:14.000 have a destiny to fulfill, You have an assignment to accomplish. 0:27:14.320 --> 0:27:17.399 Those are battles that are not worth fighting. Learn to 0:27:17.560 --> 0:27:22.200 ignore the sand, balants and to biases. Before long, like Nehemiah, 0:27:22.240 --> 0:27:25.800 you'll complete your wall and your actions will answer your 0:27:25.840 --> 0:27:27.120 critics and. 0:27:27.080 --> 0:27:27.919 Some of you today. 0:27:28.400 --> 0:27:31.240 If you just get a little more focused and not 0:27:31.320 --> 0:27:34.840 get involved in battles that don't matter, you would see 0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:38.240 God bring the golias across your path. In other words, 0:27:38.280 --> 0:27:40.879 you would see God bring the battles that are there 0:27:40.960 --> 0:27:44.080 to bring you greater opportunity to bring you greater promotion. 0:27:44.840 --> 0:27:47.879 When things don't go your way, you're tempted to get upset. 0:27:48.119 --> 0:27:51.400 You need to ask yourself is this a battle worth fighting? 0:27:52.040 --> 0:27:55.280 Is it between me and my destiny? Or is it 0:27:55.400 --> 0:27:59.200 just another distraction to waste my time and energy? If 0:27:59.200 --> 0:28:01.160 I engage it in this conflict, is. 0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:02.240 It going to be worth it? 0:28:02.800 --> 0:28:05.800 Remember, we don't have to fight battles to prove to 0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:09.120 people who we are, or try to win over our critics, 0:28:09.200 --> 0:28:11.159 or to play up to someone to get them to 0:28:11.359 --> 0:28:15.240 like us. Those are all distractions. Just stay focused on 0:28:15.320 --> 0:28:17.640 the main goals that God has put in your heart. 0:28:18.400 --> 0:28:20.320 Learn to not make a big deal out of things 0:28:20.320 --> 0:28:22.639 that are not a big deal. Let it go for 0:28:22.680 --> 0:28:25.679 the sake of peace. And if you'll be disciplined to 0:28:25.760 --> 0:28:28.280 fight the battles that do matter, then you'll see God 0:28:28.320 --> 0:28:31.800 do amazing things. Like David, you will defeat your giants 0:28:32.400 --> 0:28:36.000 like Dehemiah. You will complete your walls. That means you'll 0:28:36.000 --> 0:28:39.760 accomplish your goals. You'll overcome your obstacles, and you'll see 0:28:39.760 --> 0:28:42.880 God bring every dream, every desire He's put in your heart. 0:28:43.040 --> 0:28:45.800 It will come to pass. Amen. Do you receive it today? 0:28:46.800 --> 0:28:47.360 I know you do. 0:28:47.800 --> 0:28:50.800 Thanks so much for listening to today's message. I hope 0:28:50.800 --> 0:28:54.200 you'll subscribe so you can receive the latest podcast to 0:28:54.280 --> 0:28:56.760 keep you encouraged and inspired all through the week. 0:28:56.960 --> 0:28:59.160 Help us to continue to share the message of hope 0:28:59.160 --> 0:29:00.720 with those all aroun around the world. 0:29:01.000 --> 0:29:03.760 Visit Joelosting dot com or click the link in the 0:29:03.800 --> 0:29:05.959 description to partner with us today. 0:29:06.200 --> 0:29:08.680 We hope you'll share this message with a friend and 0:29:08.760 --> 0:29:09.800 be sure to follow. 0:29:09.600 --> 0:29:12.000 Us on social media. 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