Healthy Families

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See terms and conditions at 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:30.080 UNEs dot co. 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:31.560 Hi, this is. 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:34.399 Joel on Wednesdays. We bring you the best of I 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:51.440 hope you enjoy the podcast. Well, God bless you always 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:53.880 enjoy to come into your homes and if you're ever 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.680 in our area, please stop buy and be a part 0:01:56.720 --> 0:01:59.320 of one of our services. I promise you we'll make 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:01.560 you feel right at home. But thanks so much for 0:02:01.600 --> 0:02:04.000 tuning in, and thank you again for coming out. And 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:06.880 I like to start with something funny and heard about 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:10.200 this mom. She had two young boys that were known 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:14.840 for their mischievous behavior. Anytime trouble occurred, they were certain 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:17.320 to be a part of it. She decided to take 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:20.000 them one at a time to see her pastor. The 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:23.400 pastor said to the first boy, son, where is God? 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:27.720 He sat there silently. You ask again, where is God? 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:31.440 Still no reply. The third time the pastor asked, the 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:34.560 young boy bolted out the door, ran home, said to 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.480 his brother, God is missing, and they think we did it. 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:41.080 Hold off your bible and say it like you mean it. 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:44.280 This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:46.960 I have what it says I have. I can do 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:49.560 what it says I can do. Today I will be 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:53.359 taught the word of God. I boldly confess. My mind 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:56.600 is alert, my heart is receptive. I will never be 0:02:56.680 --> 0:03:01.160 the same. In Jesus' name, God bless you you. I 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:04.240 want to talk to you today about having a healthy home. 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:07.839 The people God put in your life are not there 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:11.880 by accident. It's not a coincidence that you met that woman, 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:15.440 fell in love and got married. The creator of the 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:19.560 universe brought your paths together. You didn't just decide to 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.800 have those children. They didn't just show up because you 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.919 and your spouse got together. God knew your children before 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:30.040 they were ever born. They had your name on them 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:32.680 before you even thought about having a child. 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:36.600 Your parents, the people that raised you. You didn't just 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:39.560 happen to end up in that home. God put you 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:40.960 there on purpose. 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:46.080 He's given you, your spouse, your children, those parents as 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:46.640 a gift. 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:50.280 They're on loan to you for a period of time. 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:53.640 They're not always going to be there, and God is 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:55.920 counting on you to take care. 0:03:55.840 --> 0:03:57.600 Of his most prized possessions. 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:02.880 They're not ordinary. There are extremely valuable. Don't take them 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:06.880 for granted. Your husband, your wife, they may have some faults, 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:10.040 you may not always see eye to eye, but they 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:10.560 are a. 0:04:10.600 --> 0:04:13.160 Treasure given to you by Almighty God. 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.800 Those children may be a lot of work, they don't 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:18.640 always do what's right, but they're a. 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:19.440 Gift from God. 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:23.880 You have to see your spouse, your children, your family 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:28.760 as being extremely valuable, as a special treasure that God 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:30.000 has entrusted you with. 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.000 And every day you need to. 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:35.600 Tell them I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:38.279 so glad that you're in my life. They need to 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:42.520 hear this on a regular basis, not just on their birthday. 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:47.000 Their anniversary. Honey, it's Valentine's Day. I love you. 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:48.720 No, once a year is not going to cut it. 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.080 If you don't tell your wife how much you love her, 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:57.320 somebody else will be generous when it comes to expressing 0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:57.840 your love. 0:04:58.279 --> 0:04:59.880 Be free with your compliment. 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:03.920 Men, you can never tell your wife too many times 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:07.760 how much you think she's beautiful and how glad you 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:09.320 are to have her in your life. 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:11.240 Tell her again and again. 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.520 That's one of the best habits we can all develop, 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:19.800 complimenting our spouse. Victorious, she knows she's beautiful. She's been 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:22.680 told that her whole life. Now I could think I 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:24.760 don't need to tell her again. I've told her a 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:29.440 thousand times. No, I understand this principle. People never get 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:33.080 tired of hearing how much you love them, how proud 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:36.160 you are of them. I tell her again and again, Victoria, 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:37.360 you are so beautiful. 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:38.240 Do you know? 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:42.479 Not once has she ever said Joel stops saying that 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:43.680 I know I'm beautiful. 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.600 No, it's funny. The other day we were in the room. 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:51.360 Behind the platform, getting ready for the early Sunday morning service, 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:53.920 standing in front of this mirror, and I was adjusting 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:58.200 my time. She was putting her microphone on, I said, why, Victoria. 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.640 You look great. You look so beautiful. 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:03.719 She thanked me, and later that morning we were in 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:07.599 the same room getting prepared for the second Sunday morning service. 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:09.960 Just as we were about to walk. 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.240 Out, she nudged me and said, you didn't tell me 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:16.120 I looked beautiful. I said, oh, I thought you would 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:21.400 remember from two hours ago. Every time I walk off 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:23.800 this platform, Victoria says, Joel. 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:25.520 That was a great message today. 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:28.000 And I know she thinks I'm great. She's told me 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:29.880 a thousand times, but my. 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:32.279 Attitude is keep the cards and letters coming. 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.200 One time, when I finished speaking, she said, Joel, that 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:40.880 was magnificent today. I walked out on cloud nine. The 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:43.600 next week she went back to that was great today. 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:44.520 I was offended. 0:06:46.400 --> 0:06:50.200 But I wonder how many relationships would go to a 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:54.280 new level, how many marriages could be saved, how much 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:58.880 arguing and Petty's strife would stop if we'd simply start 0:06:58.920 --> 0:06:59.960 expressing our. 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:01.920 Love on a daily basis. 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:06.400 I've learned yesterday's I love you is not good enough 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:10.200 for today. Every day you need to express it, and 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:13.960 one of the best ways is with our words, with compliments. 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:18.640 Do you know people don't know what you're thinking. Victoria 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:20.920 could have thought all day long that sure was a 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:25.520 good message, but her thoughts were not blessing me. A 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:29.360 blessing is not a blessing until it's spoken. You have 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:33.440 to express it, tell them what you're thinking. Words have 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:39.080 created power. Words can lift people. They can bring out confidence, 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:43.720 self worth. When you tell someone, hey, I'm proud of you, 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:44.760 You're a gift. 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:45.360 In my life. 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:48.280 Honey, if I had to do it all over, I'd 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.600 marry you again in a split second. Those are not 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:55.480 just nice phrases. Those words are like glue. 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:57.840 They strengthen the relationship. 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.600 They're deepening the roots, and that's what makes it easier 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:04.840 to go through the difficult times of life. When people 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:08.400 know you believe in them, you're proud of them, When 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:12.160 you keep the emotional accounts full, then when you hit 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:14.680 a bump in the road, you have the strength to 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:18.440 stick together and overcome it. But the reason some people 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:22.560 they split apart so easily, they can't withstand the smallest 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:27.720 adversity is because they don't have any gloom. They don't 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:32.360 have kind words. They're not expressing their love. When you 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:36.520 tell your spouse something as simple as honey, I love you. 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:39.760 You are speaking the blessing over your marriage. You are 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:44.079 adding more glue and ladies. One of your husband's greatest 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:45.720 needs or is for you to. 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:46.600 Be proud of him. 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:51.800 He may seem big, strong, invincible, like he doesn't need anything, 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:57.760 but underneath that tough outer shell is a little boy longing. 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:58.280 For your approval. 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:01.720 One of the most powerful you can tell your husband 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:05.760 is I am proud of you. When that man hears 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:10.160 that you're proud, something comes alive on the inside. And 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:14.400 this is something only you can give as his wife. 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:16.679 His parents can be proud of him, and that's good. 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:17.280 They should be. 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:21.480 His colleagues can give him awards, that's nice. His friends 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:24.840 can tell him how amazing he is. That's fine, But 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.800 nothing compares to the power you have as his wife 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:32.000 to tell him I'm proud of you. When you do that, 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:36.000 that does more than all of the others combined. Studies 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:39.440 show us having a wife that's proud is at the 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:43.280 top of the list of what every male longs for. Women, 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:47.719 don't withhold your blessing. Just as you like to hear 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:51.120 your beautiful I love you, your husband needs to hear 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:54.880 I'm proud of you. Well, Joel, I do this if 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.160 he was more of this and less of that. No, 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.120 don't focus on all of his faults. Focus on on 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:04.319 his good qualities. The more you praise him, the better 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:08.440 he will do. Your husband is like a cork floating 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:12.559 in the water. The more honor you pour in, the 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:15.120 more you tell him that you're proud of him. It's 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.600 just like you're pouring water into that bucket. That cork 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.319 your husband will keep rising higher and higher. 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:22.160 Now. 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:26.760 He may be down right now, but instead of nagging complaining, 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:28.440 try a different approach. 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:30.160 Pour some honor in. 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:34.360 Find something he's doing right and say, hey, I'm proud 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.760 of you for being at that job for twenty years. 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.480 I'm proud of you for coaching our children through school. 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:43.480 I'm proud of you for coming to church with our 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:47.040 family each Sunday. He may be doing one hundred things 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:50.960 you don't like. Find three things you do like, and 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:52.960 start pouring some honor in. 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:55.000 Ladies, think about this. 0:10:55.720 --> 0:11:00.840 Maybe your husband is not reaching his highest potential because 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:01.840 the honor. 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:02.560 Level is low. 0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:08.120 You, as his wife, control the honor fawcet. You have 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:10.640 the most power to do something about it. 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:14.000 Don't complain. Pour in honor. 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:17.240 Honey, I'm proud of you. You may not have broken 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:19.560 the addiction altogether, but I'm proud of you for at 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:23.480 least trying. You didn't get the promotion, but that doesn't 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:26.680 change one thing in my mind. I'm still as proud 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:29.840 as I can be of you. Here's the key, Ladies, 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:34.400 your husbands cannot live off of old honor. You were 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.680 proud of him when he graduated from college. That's good, 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.839 but that was five years ago. You were proud when 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:43.600 he stepped up to take care of your parents. That's great, 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.160 but that was in the past. What has he done 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:51.000 lately that you can tell him you're proud of If 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:54.480 you'll pour in some new honor, not only will he 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:58.480 rise higher, but the whole family will rise higher. When 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:00.800 you get up tomorrow morning to give your husband a 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:02.480 big hug and say I'm. 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:04.600 Proud of you, you good looking thing. 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:08.440 When you pick him up off the ground, he'll go 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.840 out with the spring in his step. But you'll be 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:15.440 amazed at how these simple words will lift his spirit. 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:20.000 They'll cause him to accomplish more. He'll have a better attitude. 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:21.959 He'll not only treat other. 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:23.959 People better, but he'll treat you better. 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:26.760 He'll go out of his way to do kind things 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:30.520 for you and the children, all because you met one 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:34.080 of his greatest needs, that longing for you to be 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:38.360 proud of him. In the same way, men, your wife 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:43.240 needs your approval. She needs your blessing. This is vital 0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:46.960 to her becoming who God created her to be. And 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:50.720 God is going to hold the men responsible as the 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:56.000 spiritual authority in the home for blessing our wives. That 0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:59.920 means to build her up, to make sure she feels loved, 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:04.280 valued and respected. Now I know men, they never give 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:07.960 their wife the blessing. These women only hear about what 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:11.160 they're doing wrong, how the dinner was late, the kids 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:15.080 are too loud, how they're not that attractive. Men, you're 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:17.880 not going to be blessed. If you're pushing your wife down. 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:23.520 She's connected to you. If you say disrespectful, demeaning things, 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:27.079 you're not only pushing her down, you're pushing yourself down. 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:32.200 Many women suffer from low self esteem from depression because 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:35.320 they never received the blessing from their husband. 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:37.880 Men, don't let that be your wife. 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:42.360 Solomon is considered one of the wisest men that's ever lived. 0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:44.959 You know what he did every morning. When he first 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:48.440 got up, he blessed his wife. He looked her in 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:51.600 the eyes and said, there are many beautiful women in 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:55.800 the world, but you excel them all. He started his 0:13:56.000 --> 0:14:01.160 day complimenting his wife. What would happen, men, if every 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:04.960 day before we went to work, before we started the project, 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:08.560 we told our wife, you're the most beautiful girl I've 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:09.160 ever seen. 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:11.880 There's nobody like you in all the world. 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:14.839 Well, you said, Julie. If I did that, I would 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:18.440 be lying. No, your wife, I know. 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:19.000 What you're thinking. 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:24.520 Your wife should be the most beautiful woman in the 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:28.280 world to you. Don't compare her with your neighbor's wife. 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:34.520 Don't compare her. Don't compare her with the girl on 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.920 the cover of the magazine or the actress on television. 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:43.800 They've had a lot of help, perfect lighting, professional makeup, surgery, 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:48.720 more surgery, and then more surgery. Your wife is the 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:54.840 gift God gave you. Physical beauty can be fleeting, but true, 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:58.840 lasting beauty is found on the inside. That woman God's 0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:03.120 given you is a gift. She's a treasure. She's one 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.480 of a kind. Nobody has her fingerprints. When you realize this, 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:09.320 you can get up like Solomon and say hey, baby, 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:10.720 you're looking fine today. 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:12.960 That's even in the scripture. 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:18.560 It's my version, though, But I'll admit I am not 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:22.400 the most romantic person. I don't sit around and write 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:26.560 poetry to Victoria all day long and plan these candlelight dinners. 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:31.840 I tell people I'm not Romeo, I'm Jolio. But I 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:36.920 have learned this principle of blessing my wife. I realize 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:40.040 I will not rise any higher. I can have the talent, 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:44.760 the education, the opportunity, but our family will get stuck 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:49.200 if I withhold my blessing. Men, don't ever put your 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:54.080 wife down. Get out of the habit of saying sarcastic remarks. 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:56.640 Don't always have to have the last word. 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:01.760 Let it go. Keep peace in the home. Somebody's receiving. 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:03.080 It's gonna buy it for a husband. 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:08.560 If you can't say anything good, don't say it. 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.920 Words can cut like a knife. You can say something 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.480 hurtful that only takes ten seconds, but ten years later 0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:18.560 the person still feels the wounds. 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:23.000 Be careful what you say, especially to those that are 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:23.880 closest to you. 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.560 Are you taking care of your gift? 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:30.160 Used to play basketball with a young man, and every 0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.480 time after the game. He'd say, well, I gotta go 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:36.120 home and see my old lady. Talking about his wife. 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:40.200 He didn't realize putting his wife down didn't make him 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:43.280 look good. If she's the old lady, that means he's 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:43.880 the old man. 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:46.040 I used to tell him, I'm. 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:49.680 Gonna go home and see my wife, Queen Victoria. If 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:51.960 she's the queen, that makes me the king, and I 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:56.080 like that. Solomon wrote a book in the Bible. It's 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:59.160 called the Song of Solomon. In the eight chapters of 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:03.560 his book, he praised his wife over forty times. He 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:08.120 was constantly talking about her strength, her beauty, her intelligence, 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:09.040 all through the day. 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:10.919 There's no woman like her. 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:14.520 Hey, you said, Joel, you don't know my problem my wife. 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:17.440 She's hard to get along with. She's got a bad attitude. No, 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:21.440 you start praising her, You start telling her how beautiful 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:24.600 she is. When you talk about the good, you'll draw 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:27.560 out the good. You talk about the negative, you'll draw 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:31.320 out the negative. You need to remember the reasons you 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:35.240 fell in love. When you were dating that person, you 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:40.520 only focused on their good qualities. She's beautiful, she's fond, 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:42.159 she's got a great sense of style. 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:45.679 Or he's so smart, he's so talented. I love his 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:46.600 sense of humor. 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:52.880 That person had the same negative qualities back then as 0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:56.840 they have right now, you just didn't focus on it. Ladies, 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:59.119 think about this. When you were dating that man, you 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:03.720 knew was the ball game every Sunday afternoon, dressed up 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:08.040 like the team mascot, had twelve of his friends over, 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:11.280 and didn't acknowledge you existed for three and a half hours. 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:14.480 You knew when you were dating him he wore the 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:18.120 same pair of shorts for seven years. You knew when 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:21.360 you were dating his breath was a weapon of mass destruction. 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:25.359 You knew his forty. 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:28.960 Inch waistline was bigger than his IQ, but you were 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:32.320 so in love you overlooked those qualities. Didn't bother you 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:36.320 a bit. Men, when you were dating her, you knew 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:40.400 that cooking wasn't her specialty. She made your dinner once 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:44.399 and you were out sick for three days. You knew 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:48.159 she had an assigned parking spot at the mall. You 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:50.760 knew she would buy the shoes and not pay the rent. 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:55.200 You knew she had a direct phone line with her mother, 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:59.600 But you were so in love, didn't bother you too 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:03.560 off and we fall out of love and start noticing 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:07.440 little annoyances become magnified. 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.880 What's the solution. We've got to fall back in love. 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:15.440 Start remembering the reasons why you couldn't live without that person. 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:19.840 Magnify their good qualities, Overlook the things that are bothering you. 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:24.800 Bring some freshness into the relationship. Laugh more often, take 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.760 more walks, do something out of the routine. 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:31.359 That person God has given you is a gift. 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:36.000 They have approximately eighty percent of what you need. No 0:19:36.200 --> 0:19:40.240 person has one hundred percent. If you're not careful, you'll 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:43.280 focus on the twenty percent that they don't have what 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:47.159 you don't like, and you'll end up frustrated. Some people 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:50.440 even leave the eighty to go find the twenty in 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:54.240 somebody else, but they'll soon realize that person is missing 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:57.080 twenty percent as well. It's better to stick with who 0:19:57.160 --> 0:20:01.439 you got, see their good qualities of what they do have. 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:07.120 In the scripture, it says that because Solomon praised his wife, 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:11.600 their children rose up and blessed her as well. In 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:15.560 other words, when the husband takes the lead and blesses 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:20.600 the wife, the children will as well. Husbands, fathers, we're 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:24.000 setting the example in the home how we treat our 0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:27.320 wife is going to have a great impact on how 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:29.880 our children respect and honor their mother. 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:32.280 Men, go out of your. 0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:36.040 Way to show respect to your wife. Treat her like 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:39.720 you want somebody to treat your daughter. Ladies treat your 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:43.040 husbands like you want somebody to treat your own son. 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:46.520 I've heard it said if you see a man opening 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:49.600 the car door for his wife, that means he either 0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:54.080 has a new car or a new wife. But men, 0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:56.760 we need to get back to the days of respect 0:20:57.119 --> 0:20:57.800 and honor. 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:00.840 It takes a man to open the door for his wife. 0:21:01.440 --> 0:21:05.960 It takes a man to say I love you, You're beautiful, I'm. 0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:09.240 Proud of you. You're not a man just because you're 0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:12.880 a male. Treating your wife with respect makes you a man. 0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:16.760 Taking care of your family makes you a man. Watching 0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:19.680 after your children that's what really makes you a man. 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:24.720 It's interesting in reproduction, the father is the one that 0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:29.560 gives the child identity. The female has two X chromosomes. 0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:33.600 The male has an X and a Y chromosome. If 0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:36.760 the male gives the female another X, the baby will 0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:37.280 be a girl. 0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:39.520 If he gives her a Y, it will be a boy. 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:43.840 But the female has no power to determine the sex 0:21:43.880 --> 0:21:48.879 of the child. The identity always comes from the father. Now, 0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:53.040 I believe not only physically, but God has given us 0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:56.920 power as fathers to help our children know who they are. 0:21:57.720 --> 0:22:00.840 We have incredible influence in our ch children's lives. 0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:06.080 Fathers, we have a responsibility to affirm our children every day. 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:08.680 I'm proud of you. You're going to do something great. 0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:13.600 You've got an amazing future. Our children need our approval. 0:22:14.040 --> 0:22:17.640 We're helping them to form their identity. But if we're 0:22:17.640 --> 0:22:20.720 too busy, we're never there. That child is not going 0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:24.840 to be as confident and secure as he should be. Fathers, 0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:29.240 be involved in your children's life. Bring them to church, 0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:33.920 be at their ballgames, meet their teachers, know who their 0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:37.840 friends are, Listen to what they're listening to, pay attention 0:22:37.960 --> 0:22:41.159 to what they're watching. They may not like it, but 0:22:41.280 --> 0:22:45.200 a child that has boundaries deep down, that child knows. 0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:47.440 That he's loved. That's what gives him value. 0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:51.479 Fathers, when that young man comes over to take your 0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:54.359 daughter on a date, be the first one at the door. 0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:59.040 Put the shotgun down, but be there to let him 0:22:59.080 --> 0:23:02.040 know there's a man in the house watching. After this 0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:05.040 girl friend of mine told me when he was a 0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:08.199 teenager that he had a drug problem. He is so 0:23:08.440 --> 0:23:10.879 clean cut, I couldn't believe he was on drugs. 0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:12.600 He said, yeah, I was. 0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:16.879 Drugged to church every weekend. I was drugged to Sunday school. 0:23:16.920 --> 0:23:19.960 I was drugg the youth class. He said, you know, Joel, 0:23:20.440 --> 0:23:23.720 those drugs are still in my veins. They still affect 0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:27.560 everything that I do. He was saying, my parents poured 0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:31.200 into me. They watched over me, heard the story about 0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:34.640 a lady that had lived a very promiscuous life, one 0:23:34.800 --> 0:23:39.399 man after another, couldn't stay in a stable relationship. Friend 0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:40.920 of mine is a minister, and. 0:23:40.880 --> 0:23:43.960 He asked her what went wrong? Where did you lose 0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:44.400 your way? 0:23:45.200 --> 0:23:48.119 She told how when she was seventeen years old, she 0:23:48.720 --> 0:23:52.880 walked into her family room wearing her brand new prom dress. 0:23:52.920 --> 0:23:54.160 Feeling so special. 0:23:54.760 --> 0:23:57.280 Her father was sitting in a chair reading the newspaper. 0:23:57.760 --> 0:24:01.000 She said, Dad, what do you think to spin around 0:24:01.080 --> 0:24:04.520 and around dancing, feeling so special, so. 0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:05.880 Beautiful, so proud. 0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:09.920 But her father never looked up from reading the newspaper. 0:24:10.520 --> 0:24:13.399 Her dance slowed down a little more, a little more, 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:17.320 until she realized her dad wasn't interested, walked out of 0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:22.000 the room because she didn't feel valued and approved by 0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:26.040 her father. She went through man after man trying to 0:24:26.080 --> 0:24:30.960 get that approval that only her father could give. We 0:24:31.080 --> 0:24:37.400 have something extremely powerful. Your children need your blessing. Make 0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:42.240 them a priority. It's not an option, it's a responsibility. 0:24:42.720 --> 0:24:45.840 You have something to give as a father that nobody 0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:46.600 else can give. 0:24:47.800 --> 0:24:50.679 Friend of mine was watching the football game on television. 0:24:51.119 --> 0:24:52.960 His little boy came in said, Dad, I've got to 0:24:53.000 --> 0:24:55.960 ask you something. My friend never took his eyes off 0:24:55.960 --> 0:24:57.880 the television. He said, yes, So what do you need? 0:24:58.480 --> 0:25:01.480 The little boy said no, Dad, listen to me with 0:25:01.520 --> 0:25:06.680 your eyes. What a great principle. Give your children your 0:25:06.800 --> 0:25:11.639 undivided attention. Make sure they know that they're a priority 0:25:11.760 --> 0:25:15.760 in your life. When our daughter Alexander was a little girl, 0:25:16.400 --> 0:25:19.760 maybe three years old, she used to come in to 0:25:19.840 --> 0:25:22.639 my office at home when I was preparing my messages 0:25:22.680 --> 0:25:25.800 for the weekend. This was right after my father went 0:25:25.840 --> 0:25:27.639 to be with the Lord, and I didn't know if 0:25:27.640 --> 0:25:30.240 I could do this. I felt very pressured, and even 0:25:30.280 --> 0:25:32.359 though we tried to keep her in other parts of 0:25:32.359 --> 0:25:34.760 the house, at least once or twice a day she 0:25:34.800 --> 0:25:37.280 would come in and say, Daddy, can we wrestle. 0:25:37.840 --> 0:25:39.720 She didn't want to wrestle. She wanted to wrestle. 0:25:39.760 --> 0:25:41.760 And most of the time I'd take a five minute 0:25:41.760 --> 0:25:45.000 break and we'd go play. But this particular day, it 0:25:45.040 --> 0:25:48.560 was a Friday evening, I was running behind, and here 0:25:48.640 --> 0:25:52.720 comes little Alexander, little bitty toddler, long blonde hair, blue eyes, 0:25:52.840 --> 0:25:56.639 cute as can be. Daddy, can we go play? I said, honey, 0:25:56.680 --> 0:25:58.520 I would love to, but I can't write now. 0:25:58.560 --> 0:26:02.160 Maybe a little later. She said okay. She came back. 0:26:02.240 --> 0:26:05.480 Five minutes later, Daddy, are you ready now? I said, no, honey, 0:26:05.680 --> 0:26:07.919 I'll come get you. You don't have to come get me. 0:26:08.320 --> 0:26:08.720 Okay. 0:26:08.920 --> 0:26:11.280 Five minutes later, Daddy, can we go now? It's getting 0:26:11.320 --> 0:26:14.440 so frustrated. I said, listen, baby, I'm going to come 0:26:14.480 --> 0:26:19.240 get you. Don't come back anymore. Daddy is trying to concentrate. 0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:21.800 She looked at me kind of confused, said okay, and 0:26:21.840 --> 0:26:25.800 walked out. Five minutes later, she came barely opened the door, 0:26:25.840 --> 0:26:30.240 said very seriously, Daddy, are you still trying to constipate? 0:26:33.600 --> 0:26:38.439 I said no, actually, I'm pretty regular. Men take time 0:26:38.800 --> 0:26:42.880 for your children. Don't become the greatest pastor the greatest athlete. 0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:46.600 The greatest coach, the greatest business person, at the expense 0:26:46.720 --> 0:26:50.840 of your children. Your first mission field is your own family. 0:26:51.359 --> 0:26:54.760 The prophet Joel said, to wake up the mighty men. 0:26:55.440 --> 0:26:59.280 I know today I am speaking to mighty men. I'm 0:26:59.320 --> 0:27:02.960 speaking to me men of valor, men of honor, Men 0:27:02.960 --> 0:27:06.560 that rise up like Solomon and bless their wife. Men 0:27:06.600 --> 0:27:09.879 that make their children a priority, men that speak the 0:27:09.920 --> 0:27:13.800 blessing over their family. Not only that, I'm speaking to 0:27:14.280 --> 0:27:17.119 women of faith, women of honor. 0:27:17.040 --> 0:27:19.360 That rise up and tell their husband. 0:27:19.080 --> 0:27:21.920 I'm proud of you, women that keep pouring the honor 0:27:22.040 --> 0:27:25.280 in Listen, ladies, I can say, like Solomon, there are 0:27:25.359 --> 0:27:28.840 many beautiful women in the world, but you excel them all. 0:27:29.240 --> 0:27:33.160 You radiate strength, beauty, intelligence, dignity. 0:27:33.320 --> 0:27:34.399 You are one of a kind. 0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:38.399 Now, my challenge to us is make sure you're taking 0:27:38.480 --> 0:27:41.040 care of the gifts God has given you. 0:27:41.400 --> 0:27:43.200 They're not always going to be here. 0:27:43.720 --> 0:27:47.000 Be generous with your words. I love you, I'm proud 0:27:47.040 --> 0:27:50.199 of you. I'm glad that you're in my life. Express 0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:52.000 love on a daily basis. 0:27:52.400 --> 0:27:53.440 Men, get up every. 0:27:53.280 --> 0:27:56.600 Morning, tell your wife how beautiful she is. Make sure 0:27:56.640 --> 0:28:01.320 she feels special. Women, remember you control the honor fawcet. 0:28:01.680 --> 0:28:04.360 You keep pouring honor into your husband, and he's going 0:28:04.400 --> 0:28:07.520 to keep rising higher. If you will do these simple things, 0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:12.200 I believe and declare you will have a strong, healthy 0:28:12.600 --> 0:28:17.120 faith filled of family. Every force that's trying to stop you, 0:28:17.119 --> 0:28:20.120 your marriage, your children is being broken. 0:28:20.200 --> 0:28:20.840 Right now. 0:28:21.200 --> 0:28:27.520 God is releasing strength, healing, deliverance, favor, new beginnings. You 0:28:27.600 --> 0:28:31.280 and your family will rise up and become everything God's 0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:34.840 created you to be. I speak the blessing in the 0:28:34.960 --> 0:28:37.760 name of Jesus. If you receive it, Can you say 0:28:37.880 --> 0:28:43.040 then today we never like to close our broadcast without 0:28:43.120 --> 0:28:45.760 giving you an opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of 0:28:45.800 --> 0:28:49.920 your life. Would you pray with me? Just say, Lord, Jesus, 0:28:51.040 --> 0:28:52.320 I repent of my sins. 0:28:53.560 --> 0:28:57.200 Come into my heart. I make you my Lord and savior. 0:28:58.600 --> 0:29:01.280 Friends, if you prayed that simple we believe you got 0:29:01.280 --> 0:29:04.800 born again. Get in a good Bible based church, Keep 0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:05.760 God first place. 0:29:06.040 --> 0:29:08.480 He's going to take your places that you've never dreamed of. 0:29:09.960 --> 0:29:13.400 Thank you for listening to the joel Ostine podcast. Help 0:29:13.480 --> 0:29:16.200 us continue to share the message of hope with those 0:29:16.320 --> 0:29:20.200 all over the world. Visit joeloastin dot com, slash give 0:29:20.280 --> 0:29:21.959 Hope to give a gift today. 0:29:23.240 --> 0:29:26.160 Thanks so much for listening to today's message. I hope 0:29:26.160 --> 0:29:29.560 you'll subscribe so you can receive the latest podcast to 0:29:29.640 --> 0:29:31.680 keep you inspired all through the week. 0:29:31.880 --> 0:29:32.840 We're praying for you. 0:29:33.000 --> 0:29:34.760 I know God's best is still ahead. 0:29:34.960 --> 0:29:36.000 We'll see you next time. 0:29:42.080 --> 0:29:46.640 Nice buns, soft, fluffy and ultralow net carbs. Discover hero 0:29:46.840 --> 0:29:50.720 Bread the delicious ultra low net carbbread with incredible taste 0:29:50.720 --> 0:29:53.920 and texture. 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