Forgiving What You Can’t Forget (Lysa TerKeurst)

0:00:02.120 --> 0:00:03.400 Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick. 0:00:03.400 --> 0:00:06.439 I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast. 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:08.360 I wanted to thank you for joining us today. 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.280 Hope this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith. 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:13.440 Hope it gives your perspective to see God has moving 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:14.160 in your life. 0:00:14.440 --> 0:00:20.159 Enjoy the message. My message title is forgiving what you 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:24.120 can't forget. And I know the minute that I say forgiveness, 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:28.040 a lot of you are like, oh, please, not this today. 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:30.840 You don't know what I've been through this week, because 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:33.760 a minute I say forgiveness, you start to feel like 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:36.640 I'm going to attach this to the hardest thing that's 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.720 ever happened to me. And I am not in the 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:43.920 mood right. I understand that. That's why I'm going to 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:48.800 preach this message with great tenderness. Let's go to the Lord. Lord. 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:54.120 Thank you so much that you came and you died 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:58.520 for us so that we might have life and be 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:04.160 set free. Jesus, you are so well acquainted with the 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:08.160 hurts and the heaviness of what we walk through as humans. 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.600 You loved us so much, and Hebrews that you tell 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:15.320 us that you came to be a merciful and faithful 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:18.920 High Priest. And how true that is because you know 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:23.600 the grit and the grime and the gruesome heartbreak that 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:33.200 can happen when we are hurt, betrayed, overlooked, devalued, lied about, 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:39.959 cheated on. Lord. You know, right before you went to 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:43.600 the cross, Lord, you gave us these amazing words to 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:49.000 give us an insight into how much you understand. When 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:51.680 you cry out from the garden of Kosemite, my soul 0:01:51.920 --> 0:02:00.240 is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. And then, Lord, 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:03.080 you prayed the same prayer I prayed so many times. 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:08.160 Everything is possible for you, God, take this cup from me. 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:14.720 But then, in your great mercy, because you are a 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:18.840 God of freedom, you reminded us at the end of 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:24.680 that prayer these nine glorious, health shaking, demon quaking, earth 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:33.480 shattering words. Yet not what I will, but what you will. God, Lord, 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:38.440 help us to trade our will for thy will, because 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:43.919 we are so confident you will. And all God's people said, amen, 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:54.760 you can have a seat. So my journey with forgiveness. 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:56.960 You know, it's kind of ironic that I'm preaching a 0:02:57.040 --> 0:03:00.600 sermon today on forgiveness when this very week I have 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:05.240 struggled to forgive something hard that has happened. You know, 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:07.720 I feel like sometimes life is like whack a mole. 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:10.200 Did y'all ever play whack a mole? It's like, we 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:13.280 get one thing taken care of, and it's like kind 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.720 of calmed down, but then three more pop up, and 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:17.800 then those three you work as hard as you can 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:20.000 to get those to calm down, and then two more 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:22.360 pop up over here and one over here, and it 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.400 just feels like we're never going to get to the 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:26.640 place where life can be tied up in a neat, 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:31.240 nice bow and where things just all line up, the 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:35.040 birds sing, the sun shines, and you think, ain't nobody 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:40.560 hurt my feelings today? Wouldn't that be amazing? Right? So Yeah, 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:44.200 preaching a message on forgiveness in a very week that 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:48.760 I've struggled with being hurt. It's a tough thing. But 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:52.520 as I was praying about it, I thought, Lord, thank 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:57.839 you for bringing this hurt so fresh, so I can 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:02.119 preach this message with the deep tenderness that a message 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:06.680 on forgiveness deserves. You See, sometimes when we hear that 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.520 word forgiveness, like I said, we will attach it to 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:14.960 the hardest things that we have ever walked through, and 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:20.000 we will feel like some of us like forgiveness is 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:23.400 such an unfair gift that we now have to give 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.400 to the person who hurt us the most. Have you 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:29.640 ever felt that way about forgiveness? You see, I have 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:32.880 an attitude toward forgiveness. As a matter of fact, when 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:35.080 I set out to write my book Forgiving What you 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:39.960 Can't Forget, I did over a thousand hours with a 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:45.480 theologian studying in the Bible exactly what God's word says 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.720 about forgiveness. That is a lot of hours. But before 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.000 you get all impressed, I want you to know about 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.880 seven hundred and fifty of those hours I was looking 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:58.920 for the loophole. Surely, God does not mean we are 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:05.680 to forgive everyone, right, surely, But what I discovered is 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:12.200 that forgiveness is an absolute command by God. Forgiveness is 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:18.560 an absolute command by God. But here's the comfort. Reconciliation 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:24.640 is not a command that you always have to reconcile. 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.560 God would not put us in a position where we 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.880 have to stay close enough to someone who has used us, 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:35.480 abused us, and let that person keep doing it over 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:40.440 and over and over. Forgiveness is not their ticket to 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:45.039 keep hurting us. Absolutely not. So. While forgiveness is a 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:49.720 command by God, reconciliation is very conditional, and I think 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:51.960 we're going to see that as the message goes on. 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:58.919 Why did I even start studying forgiveness with an attitude 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:04.200 because I walked through some really hard stuff. A lot 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:08.080 of you know my story. You know it's inconvenient to 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:12.400 be a private person who lives a very public life, 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:17.160 and so when hard things happen, everybody knows about it. 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:20.720 And even if I chose not to tell the story, 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.080 the media would get a hold of it and they 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.839 would tell the story for me. So, for those of 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:27.880 you who don't know what my family and I have 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:33.440 walked through the past ten years, our family changed into 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:38.280 something that I never thought it would be. I was 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:45.200 married almost twenty nine years, and my marriage ended in 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:51.440 an incredibly devastating way. I was heartbroken. I felt so 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:56.600 incredibly betrayed, and though I fought and begged God to 0:06:56.680 --> 0:07:02.039 save my marriage for years and years and years, I 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:05.200 would forgive, and then things would fall apart. I would forgive, 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:07.520 and then things would fall apart. I would forgive, and 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:11.600 then things would fall apart. And in the end, I 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:17.840 walked through the devastation of an unwanted divorce. It was hard, 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:22.720 it was awful, and it was something I never thought 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:28.960 my family would face. But I'm not unique with that story. 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.840 So many of you have a very similar story to me. 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.560 And you came to church this week and you were 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:38.920 just hoping that I would preach a message about how 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:42.200 bad people really are, you know, and then you walk 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:46.760 in here and you're like, dang, she's preaching on forgiveness. Great, 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:50.240 you know, But I just want you to know I 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:54.520 understand the hurt. And maybe your story is nothing like mine, 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.440 but here's what I know to be true about all 0:07:57.440 --> 0:08:01.480 of us. We've either just been through so hurt, we're 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:03.640 in the middle of some hurt, or we're about to 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:05.840 go through some hurt. And you go, wow, that's not 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:09.080 very positive. No, I'm positive we've either been through some hurt, 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:12.440 we in some hurt, We've had to go through some hurt, right, 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.200 And so I think this is a message for all 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:18.640 of us. In the middle of one of the hardest 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:23.640 parts of my journey, I was in one of those 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:25.800 places where it was hard to get out of bed, 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:32.160 and I remember I had scheduled a counseling appointment, and 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:37.200 I drove up to the counselor's office and I remember 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:39.760 looking in the riover mirror and thinking, how long has 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:42.600 it actually been since I washed my hair. Now, you 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:46.920 with short hair, you will not understand this. But for 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:50.760 those of you with hair that's more complicated like my hair, 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:54.040 you know, the top knot is God's gift to us, right, 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:57.040 because you can just have dirty hair whip it up 0:08:57.080 --> 0:08:59.080 into a top knot. And so as I looked at 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:03.839 my reflection, I thought to myself, I look awful. And 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.400 then I was walking into the counselor's office and I 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:10.120 had a second thought, I can't remember if I put 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:13.200 on deodorant today or not. And I thought, you know, 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:15.480 I can deal with dirty hair, but I'm not walking 0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:17.760 in my counseling a point of stinking. And so I 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:19.679 went to the bathroom and I thought, I am a 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:23.360 resourceful girl, and so I opened up the bottom cabinet 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:26.040 and there was no deodorant in there, but there was 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:33.760 peach air freshener, and I thought that'll do, and so 0:09:34.280 --> 0:09:36.600 I applied the peach air freshener to me, and I 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:39.360 walked into that counseling session, and I smelled like a 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:44.400 freshly baked peach cobbler. I really did. The counselor looked 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:47.200 at me. His name is Jim. Jim has been such 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:51.400 an incredible gift to me and my family, and so 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:55.040 I looked at Jim, and Jim looked at me and 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:58.080 he said, catch me up. How are you doing? And 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:02.240 I said not well at all. I said, I'm hurting 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:03.839 so bad. I just don't want to get out of 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:07.600 bed some days. And he said, huh, well, today is 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:11.760 a good day then for us to start working on forgiveness. 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:13.960 And I looked back at him and I said, are 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:19.840 you high, Mike? Truly? Like I just said, I am hurting, 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:23.760 and now you say we have to work on forgiveness. Yeah, 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:27.280 I'm not going to do that today. And he said, okay, okay, 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:33.120 why don't we start with your pain? And he handed 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:38.640 me a big stack of three by five cards and 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.719 I said, great, very well acquainted with my pain, I 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:45.440 will definitely be able to participate in this activity. And 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:48.160 so he handed me this stack of three by five 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:50.360 cards and he told me to write one thing on 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:54.160 each card of something that had been done that had 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.080 hurt me, something that had been said to me that 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:59.360 had hurt me. Just write down all the facts of 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.600 the trauma that you've experienced. And so I did. I 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:06.280 wrote card after card after card after card, and then 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:09.000 he told me to lay out the cards on the 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:12.720 floor of his office, and I did that, and before 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:17.559 too long, the entire office floor was full of those cards. 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:20.640 And as I turned and placed the last card and 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:24.199 I looked at all of that pain, I thought to myself, 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:29.040 no wonder, I feel so heavy inside. No wonder, I 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:31.040 don't want to get out of bed because look at 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:37.120 all I have been carrying. And so I looked up 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:42.600 at Jim, and Jim did the best thing that anybody 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:46.920 could do in a situation like that. He looked back 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:52.360 at me and he said, I believe you. What's been 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:56.520 done to you is terrible. It should have never happened. 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:05.160 And if no other human ever dares to say these words, 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:10.920 I'll say them to you. I am so sorry. I'm 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:16.920 so sorry. And in that moment, something in me softened, 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:22.840 and I realized I have been waiting all this time 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:27.439 for the person who hurt me to give me that gift, 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:31.440 to acknowledge how badly they've hurt me, to say that 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:35.480 they were sorry, to do some kind of repentance and 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:38.680 to promise they would never ever do it again. But 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:42.439 if I continue to wait for that person who hurt 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:46.040 me to say they're sorry before I can heal and 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:49.000 move forward, then I am allowing that person to hurt 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:53.000 me twice, because that's a choice they may never ever 0:12:53.320 --> 0:13:00.640 make right. And I realized in that moment, I didn't 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:03.720 really need that person to say that they were sorry. 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:07.640 What I needed was for another human to bear witness 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:11.360 to the pain of what I'd walk through. And so 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:14.400 I want to do that for you today. Before we 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:18.160 even get into the scriptures and the message, I want 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:24.559 to say to you, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:30.600 I'm sorry that they said what they said. I'm sorry 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:34.280 that they didn't say what they should have said. I'm 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.640 sorry that they hurt you. I'm sorry that they stole 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:43.280 from you. I'm sorry that they belittled you. I'm sorry 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:48.440 that they abused you. I'm so sorry for what you've 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:56.040 gone through. But friend, you deserve to stop suffering because 0:13:56.040 --> 0:14:00.480 of what another person has done to you. Right, deserve 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:05.000 to stop suffering because of what another person has done 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:09.320 to you. Forgiveness It's my choice. It's your choice. We 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:12.400 can take a stake and drive it in the ground today, 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:16.280 on this very day, and say I refuse to keep 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:20.160 suffering because of what they did to me. Forgiveness is 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:25.200 my choice, and I choose to receive this provision from 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:29.440 God to help my human heart heal. That's what forgiveness 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:34.920 really is. Now here's the other thing about forgiveness that 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:40.840 can seem very very complicated forgiveness. It can seem if 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:43.840 we forgive that person, then that's us saying that what 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:47.440 they did is now okay, and it's not okay. So 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:51.600 that's not what forgiveness means. Forgiveness can seem like, well, okay, 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:54.800 if I participate and I forgive, does that mean that 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:59.840 I can't ever process this Again, That's not what forgiveness means. 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:04.760 You can keep processing, you can keep healing. And also, 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.200 for a long time, I felt like a forgiveness failure 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:11.720 because I would say that I forgave that person, and 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:14.280 then a minute down the road or a week later, 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:16.800 all of a sudden, I would get triggered in my pain. 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:20.320 Do you know what a trigger is? Yes? Is so complicated, right, 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:23.240 don't you wish we could time triggers like Tuesday night 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:25.080 would be a good time for a trigger to hit, 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:28.560 and so let's schedule it. I'll be in the bathtub, 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:36.720 I'll be taking communion and I'll be listening to praise songs, right, 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:41.040 and then a trigger can hit me and I will 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:42.960 just cry it all out in the privacy of my 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.800 own bathtub. Right. But that's not how triggers happen. Triggers 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:47.800 just happen in the middle of our every day. And 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:49.800 have you ever been hit with a trigger. You've already 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:52.480 forgiven that person, but then a trigger hits and the 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.400 pain feels so fresh, and you think to yourself, I'm 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:59.240 bitter still. I must be a forgiveness failure. You're not 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:05.880 a frigid giveness failure. Every trauma is two parts. It's 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:12.440 fact an impact. Therefore, forgiveness can be two parts as well. 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.800 We can forgive for the facts of what happened, and 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.720 that satisfies the command of God to forgive. At the 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:24.800 same time, we can also walk through the healing process 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:29.080 of healing from the impact and forgiving for the impact. 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:32.280 What that person did to us. It cost us something. 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.440 That's the impact, and that is going to take time. 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:39.080 I used to think that triggers were such a curse, 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:42.840 But now I see it as God's mercy, because if 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.160 the full impact would have hit me at once, it 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:48.400 probably would have killed me. So how good of God 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:52.200 to let the impact leak into my life over time. 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.600 As I'm healing, I've already forgiven for the fact. But 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:59.600 then when an impact hits me, when a trigger hits me, 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:03.800 and I realize an impact is nothing more than an indication. 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:06.639 There's a little more healing needed right here. There's a 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:11.040 little more forgiveness needed right here. So I had all 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:15.960 those cards laid out on Jim's office floor, and then 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:21.119 he handed me a stack of red felt squares and 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:24.640 he looked at me and he said, Lisa, I think 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:28.080 you should just go card by card by card, and 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:32.119 you should make the choice to forgive. And I said, 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:35.040 that's great, except my mouth will say it, and my 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:37.240 feelings haven't signed up for it yet. So what do 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:37.960 I do about that? 0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:38.520 Right? 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:41.679 And he said, why don't you say this? Out of 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:46.400 obedience to God, I am choosing to forgive this person 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:49.240 for the fact of what they did to me. And 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:51.520 then take a piece of redfelt and lay it on 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:54.800 top of that card. And then say, and whatever my 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:58.000 feelings will not yet allow, for the blood of Jesus 0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:06.120 will surely cover it. Right, So I went card by 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:09.399 card by card and said, I forgive this person for 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.119 this fact of how they've hurt me, and whatever my 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:15.520 feelings will not yet allow, for covered it with a 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:19.680 red card. The blood of Jesus will surely cover it. 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:24.080 And when I was done and I looked back, I 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:27.720 didn't have all that pain staring back at me. I 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:33.280 saw the beautiful work of Jesus Christ. Jesus died so 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:39.800 that we could receive God's forgiveness. And as we receive 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:45.400 God's forgiveness, we simply must cooperate with his forgiveness as 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:49.640 his forgiveness flows to us, because we are not perfect, 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:55.000 and we have also sinned and fallen short. But that 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:58.639 doesn't justify what they did at all. And maybe we 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:02.720 didn't participate in in in that situation where they hurt us, 0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:06.480 but maybe we've been carrying some bitterness. And so as 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:10.520 we receive God's forgiveness as it flows to us, we 0:19:10.640 --> 0:19:13.200 must cooperate with it and then let us flow through 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:16.760 us to other people. We don't have to originate forgiveness. 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:18.560 I used to feel like I would just have to 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:22.800 grit my teeth like I forgive you and conjure up 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:27.320 some forgiveness from mimy. That's not forgiveness. Forgiveness originates from God, 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:32.119 flows to us, flows through us, and it goes to 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:37.120 other people. So what does God's word say about forgiveness? 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:41.359 I want to start with Matthew chapter six, verses nine 0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:45.960 through thirteen. I find it pretty amazing that when Jesus 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:51.800 was asked how should we pray, think about all the 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:55.800 things that could be taught in that moment of how 0:19:55.880 --> 0:19:59.080 you can pray. This is Jesus and the people are 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:03.240 asking him how do we pray? So if I was 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:08.639 put in charge of saying the ultimate Lord's prayer, I 0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:12.520 probably would never have thought that forgiveness should be such 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:16.280 a big part of it. And yet Jesus knows the 0:20:16.400 --> 0:20:21.480 human heart so well. He answers the people, this is then, 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:25.560 how you should pray our Father in heaven, how it 0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:28.840 would be your name, your kingdom, Come, Your will be 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:33.040 done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us 0:20:33.080 --> 0:20:38.440 today our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as 0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:41.960 we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:48.360 into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. And 0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:51.479 then he goes on in verse fourteen and as another 0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:55.120 little section, for if you forgive other people when they 0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:58.159 sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. 0:20:58.480 --> 0:21:01.240 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:07.719 father will not forgive your sins. Isn't it incredible that 0:21:08.160 --> 0:21:11.040 of all those words that we just study, that's in 0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:14.960 the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray, that forgiveness 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:18.960 is one of the main subjects in that prayer. And 0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:22.800 this is supposed to be a daily prayer. In other words, 0:21:23.280 --> 0:21:27.880 each day when we wake up, we should pray something 0:21:27.920 --> 0:21:31.399 similar to this. We should pray our Father in heaven, 0:21:31.800 --> 0:21:34.440 how would be your name, your kingdom? Con Your will 0:21:34.480 --> 0:21:37.400 be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:40.560 us today our daily bread, that daily provision. That's how 0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:43.240 I know this is a daily prayer. And then make 0:21:43.320 --> 0:21:47.240 forgiveness part of that prayer. How incredible would it be 0:21:47.720 --> 0:21:50.640 if we laid in our beds before our feet ever 0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:53.400 hit the floor, and we wake up and the day 0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:57.040 is fresh, and there's new opportunities, and we decided one 0:21:57.040 --> 0:21:58.720 of the main things we're going to do before we 0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.080 get out of bed, is that we are already going 0:22:01.160 --> 0:22:04.160 to pre forgive the fools that hurt us that day. Right, 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:07.960 wouldn't that be so amazing? It would be so amazing. 0:22:08.000 --> 0:22:10.400 You know where I got this idea years ago? Pastor 0:22:10.440 --> 0:22:13.200 Steven preached a message on a fence, and he brought 0:22:13.320 --> 0:22:15.919 up a fence up here was anybody else here? It 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:19.040 was so amazing, right, And so I started doing this, 0:22:19.560 --> 0:22:22.760 And how great is it that as I walk into 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:26.640 my day, inevitably it's like I'll be happy, happy, happy, 0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:30.360 and then somebody bumps into my happy And it used 0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:33.439 to be that they would hijack my day because of 0:22:33.480 --> 0:22:36.240 their foolish situation whatever they were doing to me, right, 0:22:36.640 --> 0:22:42.680 But now I'm like, oh, you do, you boo? You 0:22:42.760 --> 0:22:45.480 get all stirred up right here in the coffee line 0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:48.800 because they frapaid your latte and waylaid your whole day. Okay, 0:22:49.200 --> 0:22:51.640 I got it right. I mean, if that's the worst 0:22:51.640 --> 0:22:53.280 thing that happened to me today, I would still have 0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:56.639 a pretty good day. But you do, you boo, because 0:22:56.680 --> 0:22:59.840 you know what, You're the person I brak for this morning, 0:23:00.000 --> 0:23:03.320 and I have already preforgiven you and Just because you 0:23:03.400 --> 0:23:05.359 laid down on a fence does not mean I'm going 0:23:05.440 --> 0:23:08.040 to pick it up, carry it with me, and let 0:23:08.119 --> 0:23:13.240 it ruin my whole day. Right. It is incredible what 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:24.159 can happen when we make forgiveness part of our everyday routine, eating, sleeping, breathing, loving, forgiving. 0:23:25.520 --> 0:23:27.240 But there's one other thing I want to point out. 0:23:27.280 --> 0:23:31.080 In this section of the Lord's Prayer. Right after we're 0:23:31.119 --> 0:23:35.760 instructed to forgive, it says, and lead us not into temptation, 0:23:36.000 --> 0:23:39.800 but deliver us from the evil one. There is a 0:23:40.080 --> 0:23:45.879 pattern throughout scripture, and it is all throughout scripture wherever 0:23:46.000 --> 0:23:54.000 there's unattended to anger, bitterness, resentment, desires for revenge. Right 0:23:54.200 --> 0:23:59.119 near that passage, it's instructive. We are instructed to forgive, 0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:03.320 and if we don't, the evil one comes close. It 0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:06.879 is like drop dropping blood in a body of water 0:24:07.000 --> 0:24:10.000 and it draws the sharks near. Let me show you 0:24:10.040 --> 0:24:13.080 a couple of other passages where we see this very thing. 0:24:13.080 --> 0:24:15.879 If we go all the way back to Genesis in 0:24:15.960 --> 0:24:21.560 Genesis chapter four, verses two through seven. Now Abel kept 0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:25.320 flocks and Cain worked the soil. Adam and Eve had 0:24:25.359 --> 0:24:29.680 two children, Cain and Abel, Right, two brothers. Abel kept 0:24:29.680 --> 0:24:32.600 the flocks and Cain worked the soil. In the course 0:24:32.640 --> 0:24:35.320 of time, Cain brought some of the fruits of the 0:24:35.400 --> 0:24:38.440 soil as an offering to the Lord, and Abel also 0:24:38.560 --> 0:24:41.480 brought an offering fat portions from some of the firstborn 0:24:41.520 --> 0:24:44.560 of his flocks. The Lord looked with favor on Abel 0:24:44.560 --> 0:24:49.520 and his offering, but on Cain and his offering, he 0:24:49.600 --> 0:24:54.120 did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry 0:24:54.600 --> 0:25:00.280 and his face was downcast. Now some people, as we've 0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:04.040 studied these scriptures, you know, some people really are concerned. 0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:07.959 Why is it that the Lord favored Abel's offering and 0:25:08.040 --> 0:25:11.480 not Cain's offering. Theologians have debated this, but I'm going 0:25:11.560 --> 0:25:13.920 to give you what I personally see in the scripture. 0:25:13.960 --> 0:25:18.760 Here it says that in the course of time, Cain 0:25:19.240 --> 0:25:24.760 brought his offering, but Abel brought his first fruits, right 0:25:25.040 --> 0:25:29.159 his first born. And so I don't know if that's 0:25:29.560 --> 0:25:32.760 what it is, but I do know that whatever it was, 0:25:33.320 --> 0:25:37.080 the Lord was not pleased with Cain, and Cain was 0:25:37.200 --> 0:25:40.880 very angry and his face was downcast. Now, if you've 0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:44.439 studied the Bible before, you know that Cain goes on 0:25:44.600 --> 0:25:48.760 to murder his brother Abel. But there's something that happens 0:25:48.800 --> 0:25:53.399 in between Cain being very angry and Cain murdering his brother. 0:25:53.920 --> 0:25:58.640 The Lord himself comes and talks to Cain. What how 0:25:58.680 --> 0:26:00.919 many times have I just prayed? Lord? I will not 0:26:00.960 --> 0:26:02.919 tell anybody, but if you can just come right here 0:26:03.040 --> 0:26:05.719 into my closet, let me see you and tell me 0:26:05.760 --> 0:26:08.600 what to do. I will listen, right. And I know 0:26:08.640 --> 0:26:10.399 that that's not going to happen, but if it did happen, 0:26:10.440 --> 0:26:12.439 I would keep it a secret, just between me and you. 0:26:12.840 --> 0:26:16.320 But look what happens here. Cain gets that. The Lord 0:26:16.400 --> 0:26:19.600 comes to Cain and says, in verse six, why are 0:26:19.640 --> 0:26:23.600 you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do 0:26:23.760 --> 0:26:27.080 what is right, will you not be accepted? But if 0:26:27.119 --> 0:26:31.080 you do not do what is right, sin is crouching 0:26:31.240 --> 0:26:34.520 at your door. It desires to have you, but you 0:26:34.960 --> 0:26:40.159 must rule over it. Unattended to anger, and sin is 0:26:40.240 --> 0:26:44.240 crouching out the door, right, and it says, sin is 0:26:44.280 --> 0:26:49.600 crouching out your door, desires to have you, but you 0:26:49.720 --> 0:26:51.840 must rule over it. Let's look at one other place 0:26:51.880 --> 0:26:55.840 in scripture Ephesians, chapter four, starting in verse twenty six, 0:26:56.000 --> 0:26:59.359 in your anger, do not sin do not let the 0:26:59.400 --> 0:27:01.719 sun go down while you are still angry, and do 0:27:01.920 --> 0:27:06.000 not give the devil a foothold. And then it goes 0:27:06.040 --> 0:27:08.360 on in verse twenty nine to say, do not let 0:27:08.440 --> 0:27:11.120 any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only 0:27:11.160 --> 0:27:14.160 what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, 0:27:14.200 --> 0:27:16.760 that it may benefit those who listen. And do not 0:27:16.880 --> 0:27:19.439 greet the Holy Spirit with whom you recealed for the 0:27:19.480 --> 0:27:26.080 day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, 0:27:26.520 --> 0:27:30.280 brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be 0:27:30.520 --> 0:27:35.600 kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just 0:27:35.800 --> 0:27:43.040 as in Christ, God forgave you. We don't want to 0:27:43.080 --> 0:27:47.640 reduce our life down to the limitations of living heard. 0:27:48.880 --> 0:27:54.160 There is a big, beautiful world out there, full of 0:27:54.320 --> 0:27:59.119 such possibilities that you do not want to miss. And 0:27:59.160 --> 0:28:03.520 if we are so stuck on the hurt that has 0:28:03.600 --> 0:28:06.840 been caused to us and we think about it over 0:28:06.960 --> 0:28:10.879 and over and over and over, that's just allowing that 0:28:11.040 --> 0:28:16.000 trauma to traumatize us over and over and over. When 0:28:16.080 --> 0:28:20.359 cruel things have been done to you, it is life altering, 0:28:21.080 --> 0:28:28.320 but it does not have to be life ruining. Forgiveness 0:28:30.400 --> 0:28:36.040 forgiveness is God's provision for us to heal. Forgiveness is 0:28:36.160 --> 0:28:41.200 actually a gift from God. Now, if I were you 0:28:41.240 --> 0:28:43.600 and I was sitting there and I was thinking, Okay, 0:28:43.800 --> 0:28:47.760 that's nice, But what do I do when the person 0:28:47.760 --> 0:28:52.440 who hurt me seems to get away with everything? What 0:28:52.520 --> 0:28:55.520 do I do about that? Because honestly, as I take 0:28:55.560 --> 0:28:59.520 an assessment in my heart, sometimes the very thing that 0:28:59.680 --> 0:29:06.920 pull's bitterness back into my feelings is that it feels 0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:11.600 like they're off living in happy, happy world and I'm 0:29:11.680 --> 0:29:14.720 here dealing with all the pain and the fallout of 0:29:14.760 --> 0:29:18.000 the decisions. Have you ever been there, Well, let me 0:29:18.040 --> 0:29:22.760 read you what the scripture says Galatians six seven through eight. 0:29:22.880 --> 0:29:27.480 Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man 0:29:27.960 --> 0:29:32.080 reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh 0:29:32.120 --> 0:29:35.400 from the flesh will reap destruction. Whoever sows to please 0:29:35.440 --> 0:29:39.560 the spirit from the spirit will reap eternal life. God 0:29:39.600 --> 0:29:43.800 will not be mocked. There's a story of Esther, and 0:29:44.120 --> 0:29:47.920 there's several characters in Esther, but there's this one character 0:29:48.720 --> 0:29:51.440 that his name is Hayman, and he has bent on 0:29:51.560 --> 0:29:57.120 destroying the Jewish people. Mordecai, Esther's uncle finds out about 0:29:57.160 --> 0:30:01.479 Hayman's plans. Esther has access to the king, and so 0:30:01.840 --> 0:30:05.080 through the course of time, Esther is able to reveal 0:30:05.480 --> 0:30:12.040 Hayman's plot to the king. The very gallows that Hayman built. 0:30:12.560 --> 0:30:14.840 I want you to listen to what scriptures said. The 0:30:14.960 --> 0:30:17.920 very gallows that Haman built to kill the Jewish people 0:30:18.280 --> 0:30:20.880 are the very gallows that he was then hanged on. 0:30:21.840 --> 0:30:24.640 Esther seventeen. So they hanged Hayman on the gallows that 0:30:24.680 --> 0:30:29.840 he had prepared for Mordecai. Romans twelve nineteen through twenty one. 0:30:30.000 --> 0:30:33.120 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room 0:30:33.160 --> 0:30:36.000 for God's wrath. For it is written it is mine 0:30:36.080 --> 0:30:40.320 to avenge. I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary, 0:30:41.000 --> 0:30:44.920 if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, 0:30:45.440 --> 0:30:48.840 give him something to drink. In doing this, you will 0:30:48.880 --> 0:30:53.600 heat burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome 0:30:53.800 --> 0:30:58.840 by evil. Sin is crouching at your door, but you 0:30:58.920 --> 0:31:03.040 must rule over You must rule over it. Do not 0:31:03.160 --> 0:31:06.280 let it have you. Do not give the devil a 0:31:06.320 --> 0:31:10.040 foothold in your anger. Do not sin, Do not give 0:31:10.080 --> 0:31:15.120 the devil a foothold, Lord, deliver us from the evil one, 0:31:15.360 --> 0:31:18.080 And forgiveness is such a powerful part of that. Do 0:31:18.200 --> 0:31:23.680 not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. 0:31:25.120 --> 0:31:28.520 I think that the very vest the very best time 0:31:29.000 --> 0:31:35.080 to forgive is before we're ever offended. But the next 0:31:35.120 --> 0:31:41.120 best time to forgive is right now. You know. I 0:31:41.200 --> 0:31:46.120 started doing these things as I was working on forgiveness 0:31:46.160 --> 0:31:50.880 because I really had reduced my life down to the 0:31:50.920 --> 0:31:55.000 limitations of living hurt. I really had done that. I 0:31:55.080 --> 0:31:58.600 don't know if you can just check your heart and see, 0:31:58.800 --> 0:32:01.840 are there places where I've limited myself because of the 0:32:01.920 --> 0:32:05.560 hurt that I've endured? Right? And so I started doing 0:32:05.600 --> 0:32:11.000 these things called rebellious acts of resilience. And what a 0:32:11.040 --> 0:32:14.960 rebellious act of resilience? First of all, I love the 0:32:15.000 --> 0:32:17.960 word rebellious because I'm such a rule follower that it 0:32:18.040 --> 0:32:21.240 kind of feels good to say I'm doing something rebellious, honestly, 0:32:21.960 --> 0:32:25.000 But what a rebellious act of forgiveness is is for 0:32:25.040 --> 0:32:28.080 me to start listening to the I can'ts and I 0:32:28.200 --> 0:32:34.360 don't in my vocabulary. So I had forgiven for the 0:32:34.440 --> 0:32:36.880 hurt that it happened to me, but I was still 0:32:37.040 --> 0:32:40.520 dealing with the impact very much. So I went on 0:32:40.560 --> 0:32:43.760 a beach trip with some friends. And on this beach 0:32:43.800 --> 0:32:47.960 trip we had a little house and the ice maker 0:32:48.080 --> 0:32:51.400 wasn't working. Now I am very into ice, especially at 0:32:51.400 --> 0:32:54.560 the beach. I like cold things, very very cold. I 0:32:54.600 --> 0:32:56.720 have this thing about the beach. I like to pack 0:32:56.800 --> 0:32:59.200 it cooler with ice in it. I like to put 0:32:59.280 --> 0:33:02.320 my water and my Dike Cob. Don't send me a 0:33:02.320 --> 0:33:04.840 message about that. I understand how that it is for me. 0:33:05.240 --> 0:33:07.320 I understand that police use it to clean blood off 0:33:07.320 --> 0:33:09.920 the road. I got the whole thing, okay. But I 0:33:10.040 --> 0:33:12.200 like my water, and I like my Dike coke, my 0:33:12.240 --> 0:33:14.720 little sandwich, and I put it in a cooler with 0:33:14.760 --> 0:33:16.600 some ice, go down to the beach, and that is 0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:19.440 my happy place. I just love it. The problem was 0:33:20.080 --> 0:33:23.760 I quickly discovered the ice maker was broken, and I 0:33:23.920 --> 0:33:28.360 had an out of portion reaction to the situation at hand. 0:33:29.120 --> 0:33:32.280 I was like yet another thing he's taken from me. 0:33:32.720 --> 0:33:34.720 You see, if he would have been faithful, then we 0:33:34.760 --> 0:33:36.640 would still be married. And if we were so married, 0:33:36.680 --> 0:33:38.640 he would be here and he would fix the ice maker. 0:33:38.640 --> 0:33:42.520 But because he isn't here, I can't have ice, you know. 0:33:43.960 --> 0:33:47.120 And I'm like, it's ice, Lisa, like it's ice, right, 0:33:47.840 --> 0:33:51.760 But boy, did it flood me with I can't. I can't. 0:33:51.920 --> 0:33:55.880 I can't. That's reducing your life down to the limitations 0:33:55.920 --> 0:34:01.080 of living hurt. And so I stopped myself after being 0:34:01.240 --> 0:34:05.480 very embarrassed at my overreaction, and I said, but what 0:34:05.520 --> 0:34:10.319 if I could? What if I could? And so I 0:34:10.520 --> 0:34:14.239 googled instructions how do you fix an ice maker? I 0:34:14.280 --> 0:34:18.080 am terrible with written instructions. They were utterly unhelpful. But 0:34:18.200 --> 0:34:25.879 then I remembered the YouTube, y'all, and so I YouTube directions, 0:34:25.960 --> 0:34:28.600 how do you fix an ice maker? And I thought, 0:34:28.640 --> 0:34:30.360 what's the worst that can happen? It's already broke? What 0:34:30.360 --> 0:34:33.560 if I broke it more? Okay, you know? And I 0:34:33.640 --> 0:34:35.960 tinkered with it, and I looked at the video and 0:34:36.000 --> 0:34:40.200 I did what it said and I fixed that ice 0:34:40.280 --> 0:34:48.200 mak God. And in that moment, it wasn't like I 0:34:48.280 --> 0:34:54.399 epically healed, but I absolutely epically proved to myself I 0:34:54.440 --> 0:34:57.879 still have a lot of life to live. I reduced, 0:34:58.160 --> 0:35:01.279 I refused to reduce my life down to the limitations 0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:05.200 of living hurt. And when that I fell into that bucket, y'all. 0:35:05.560 --> 0:35:08.480 I did the EMC hammer dance around the kitchen, right. 0:35:09.160 --> 0:35:12.040 It was glorious. So then my two friends who were 0:35:12.040 --> 0:35:15.640 with me, they said, hey, Lisa, let's go down to 0:35:16.080 --> 0:35:19.239 the ocean. And I thought, great, I've got my cooler now, 0:35:19.400 --> 0:35:22.720 all prepared. So I get my book, I get my towel, 0:35:22.840 --> 0:35:25.319 I get my chair and my little cooler and I'm 0:35:25.360 --> 0:35:27.919 headed down to the ocean. And my friend Jess, who 0:35:28.000 --> 0:35:30.120 was with me, she says, wait, wait, wait, wait wait, 0:35:30.440 --> 0:35:34.200 I have a boogie board for you. And I said, 0:35:34.200 --> 0:35:36.160 why do I need a boogy board because I'm gonna 0:35:36.160 --> 0:35:38.040 sit in my chair and read my book. That does 0:35:38.120 --> 0:35:41.360 not require a boogie board, right, And she said no, no, no, no, 0:35:41.360 --> 0:35:43.640 We're going to play in the ocean. I said, oh, 0:35:43.760 --> 0:35:46.840 I don't do oceans. There are sharks in there that 0:35:46.960 --> 0:35:50.320 eat people every day. There's like shells that cut your feet, 0:35:50.400 --> 0:35:54.680 jellyfish that sting. I don't do oceans. And we sat 0:35:54.760 --> 0:35:58.160 down on the beach. She grabbed her boogie board. She 0:35:58.280 --> 0:36:01.040 went and jumped into the water. But before she did that, 0:36:01.120 --> 0:36:02.920 she laid my boogie board right in front of me 0:36:02.960 --> 0:36:06.080 because she had carried it down for me, and I 0:36:06.120 --> 0:36:08.480 was looking at her. I was looking at that boogie board, 0:36:09.040 --> 0:36:12.920 and I saw her laughing and smiling, and I kept thinking, 0:36:12.920 --> 0:36:16.600 I don't do oceans. But then I stopped myself again. 0:36:16.840 --> 0:36:19.120 I'm not going to reduce my life down to the 0:36:19.160 --> 0:36:24.640 limitations of living hurt. Therefore, what if I did? What 0:36:24.719 --> 0:36:28.640 if I did? And before my overthinking brain could kick in, 0:36:29.000 --> 0:36:32.160 I grabbed that boogie board. I went and I jumped 0:36:32.160 --> 0:36:36.840 into the ocean. It was disastrous. The wave took me under. 0:36:37.280 --> 0:36:40.120 My bathing suit bottoms came down. It was like a 0:36:40.200 --> 0:36:43.879 whole situation, you know. I stood up. I did get 0:36:43.920 --> 0:36:47.920 my bathing suit bottoms back on, just to clarify, and 0:36:49.040 --> 0:36:53.719 then I laughed and I played, and for a few 0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:59.680 minutes I wasn't a woman who was living in pain. 0:37:01.080 --> 0:37:04.399 I was that same care free person that I had 0:37:04.440 --> 0:37:13.520 been for so long. I can't I don't listen for 0:37:13.600 --> 0:37:19.280 those types of words, because even after you've forgiven, sometimes 0:37:19.920 --> 0:37:23.640 you stay stuck in this place where you just feel 0:37:23.680 --> 0:37:30.040 like you can't move forward rebellious acts of resilience. You can, 0:37:30.840 --> 0:37:41.160 and you will, and you should, and it is good right. Indeed, 0:37:41.600 --> 0:37:44.520 the best time to forgive is before we're ever offended. 0:37:45.080 --> 0:37:49.240 But the next best time is now, if you're physically able, 0:37:49.400 --> 0:37:51.920 will you please stand. I have something that I've written 0:37:51.920 --> 0:37:57.759 that I really want to share with you. This is 0:37:57.800 --> 0:38:03.640 a declaration. And when I wrote this, it was a 0:38:03.680 --> 0:38:09.520 message really to myself, because I remember waking up at 0:38:09.600 --> 0:38:13.680 two am in the morning and just feeling the weight 0:38:13.840 --> 0:38:17.200 of all that I was facing. Two am is such 0:38:17.280 --> 0:38:20.480 a complicated hour, isn't it. It's like too late to 0:38:20.520 --> 0:38:23.200 call your late friends, too early to call your early friends. 0:38:23.280 --> 0:38:28.400 So it is just you, right, And so often I 0:38:28.440 --> 0:38:32.560 would pray just the simplest prayers, like Jesus, I love 0:38:32.640 --> 0:38:36.120 you and you love me, and that's all I've got. 0:38:37.520 --> 0:38:40.000 And so to comfort myself, a lot of times I 0:38:40.000 --> 0:38:43.440 would pull out my journal and I would write declarations. 0:38:44.120 --> 0:38:49.040 So this declaration was something that I wrote for myself, 0:38:49.120 --> 0:38:51.239 but I'm so grateful I get to share it with 0:38:51.280 --> 0:38:56.520 you today. This is forgiveness, making the decision that the 0:38:56.520 --> 0:38:59.640 ones who hurt you no longer get to limit you, 0:39:00.239 --> 0:39:04.160 label you, or project the lies they believe about themselves 0:39:04.200 --> 0:39:09.920 onto you. Somewhere along the way, they got hurt, really 0:39:10.360 --> 0:39:16.799 really hurt. Maybe they really aren't necessarily bad people, but 0:39:17.000 --> 0:39:24.440 chances are maybe they're unhealed people. But honestly, aren't we 0:39:24.600 --> 0:39:28.840 all unhealed people? Do we ever really get to the 0:39:28.920 --> 0:39:31.560 place where we're like, finally I figured it all out, 0:39:32.160 --> 0:39:34.360 like I'm not going to do anything else or wrong. No, 0:39:34.440 --> 0:39:36.840 we never get to that place. On this side of eternity. 0:39:37.040 --> 0:39:40.200 We can grow, we can go to counseling, we can 0:39:40.239 --> 0:39:43.520 study the Bible, we can allow God to have his 0:39:43.600 --> 0:39:48.480 way with the sanctification process, all of that. But you see, 0:39:48.480 --> 0:39:50.920 if if I look at people who have hurt me 0:39:52.800 --> 0:39:58.160 and I just say to myself like they're such bad people, 0:39:58.800 --> 0:40:02.120 then forgiveness will feel like a really unfair gift that 0:40:02.200 --> 0:40:04.600 I have to give. But if I just change my 0:40:04.719 --> 0:40:10.640 perspective and I say they're unhealed people, it helps. And 0:40:10.800 --> 0:40:13.440 something happened to them along the way. I don't have 0:40:13.480 --> 0:40:15.880 to know what it is. But if they're doing something 0:40:15.920 --> 0:40:18.120 cruel to you, something cruel has been done to them, 0:40:18.680 --> 0:40:21.640 it doesn't make it right, It doesn't justify it. It's 0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:25.520 just a fact to consider. When people have a deep wound, 0:40:25.600 --> 0:40:29.120 they feel they must protect the pain from that festering 0:40:29.160 --> 0:40:32.759 place is often what they'll project. So you must make 0:40:32.800 --> 0:40:36.480 the decision that their offense will not define you or 0:40:36.560 --> 0:40:40.880 confine you by the smallness of bitterness. The sum total 0:40:40.920 --> 0:40:44.560 of your one incredible life must not be reduced to 0:40:44.600 --> 0:40:49.520 the limitations of living hurt. The completely delightful, beautiful, fun 0:40:49.600 --> 0:40:53.239 and brilliant way God made you must not be tainted 0:40:53.600 --> 0:40:56.960 by someone else who lost their way. You've got much 0:40:57.040 --> 0:40:59.960 too much going for you to be stunted by anger 0:41:00.360 --> 0:41:03.840 or haunted by resentment, or held back by fear. Grow 0:41:03.920 --> 0:41:10.880 into God's grace by giving forgiveness kindly and receiving it freely. 0:41:11.280 --> 0:41:14.319 Throw your arms up in victory and declare, I'm free 0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:18.560 to forgive so that I can live. Do it once, 0:41:18.840 --> 0:41:22.080 do it twice, do it seventy times seven. Make it 0:41:22.120 --> 0:41:26.200 an undeniable fact that you are indeed bound one day 0:41:26.280 --> 0:41:29.759 for heaven. This forgiveness message you dare to declare is 0:41:29.880 --> 0:41:35.080 evidence of Jesus in you that not one soul can deny. 0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:38.719 Sing it like an anthem that the one who was 0:41:38.840 --> 0:41:42.880 crushed will not have their joy hushed. Scatter it like confetti, 0:41:42.960 --> 0:41:46.680 coloring bland, surviving with the radiance of thriving. Release it 0:41:46.760 --> 0:41:51.920 like the fantastic fragrance everyone loves and always wants more of. Now, 0:41:52.680 --> 0:41:55.680 put your fingers on your pulse. Go ahead, you can 0:41:55.719 --> 0:42:01.600 do it. Do you feel that it's your heart is beating, pumping, 0:42:02.160 --> 0:42:07.279 willing you to press onward and upward your life, your 0:42:07.360 --> 0:42:11.000 future is full of possibility, new joys that you do 0:42:11.040 --> 0:42:14.840 not want to miss. So maybe it's time to get 0:42:14.880 --> 0:42:19.160 carried away dancing to that song, you know, the one 0:42:19.440 --> 0:42:22.040 where you can't stay down when its rhythm gets turned 0:42:22.080 --> 0:42:26.480 all the way up. And if it's not a pray song, 0:42:27.440 --> 0:42:31.600 if it's not a Jesus song, sing it to Jesus anyways, Right, 0:42:32.920 --> 0:42:36.680 it's time to get moving and on with living. This, 0:42:37.000 --> 0:42:40.640 my friends, is the power of forgiving. 0:42:45.719 --> 0:42:48.279 Thank you for joining us special thanks to those of 0:42:48.280 --> 0:42:51.279 you who give generously to this ministry. Is because of 0:42:51.320 --> 0:42:54.239 you that this ministry is possible. You can click the 0:42:54.280 --> 0:42:57.560 link in the description to give now, or visit Elevation 0:42:57.719 --> 0:43:01.359 Church dot org slash podcast for more information and if 0:43:01.360 --> 0:43:03.040 you enjoyed the podcast. 0:43:02.719 --> 0:43:03.719 You can subscribe. 0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:06.200 You can share it with your friends. You can click 0:43:06.239 --> 0:43:08.440 the share button, take a screenshot and share it on 0:43:08.480 --> 0:43:11.359 your social stories and tag us at Elevation Church. Thanks 0:43:11.400 --> 0:43:17.799 again for listening. God bless you