Fake Friends

0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:03.160 Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. Thanks for listening to 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:06.360 our podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry. If you 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:09.040 enjoy today's message, why don't you be a blessing and 0:00:09.080 --> 0:00:11.880 share it with a friend, reappreciate you and pray for 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:14.920 God's very best in your life. Oh God, bless you. 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:17.919 It's great to be with you today, and I hope 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:20.640 you'll stay connected with us during the week through our 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:24.599 daily podcast, our YouTube channel, and social media, and you 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:26.920 can come visit us in person. We'd love to have 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:29.560 you be a part of one of our services. I'd 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:32.200 let to start with something funny, and I heard about 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:36.360 these three sisters, ages ninety six, ninety four, and ninety 0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:39.760 two that lived together. One night, the ninety six year 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:42.599 old draws a bath and she puts one foot in 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:46.400 and stops. She hollers, downstairs, I can't remember if I 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:49.400 was getting in or getting out. The ninety four year 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:51.479 old says, hang on, I'll come up and help you, 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:54.560 and she gets halfway up the stairs and stops. He says, 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:56.720 I can't remember if I've gone up or coming down. 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.400 The ninety two year old shook her head said, ma'am ope, 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:03.400 I never get that forgetful. She knocked on wood for 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:06.680 good luck. Then she said, hang on, I'll come help 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:08.759 both of you as soon as I see who's at 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:12.360 the door. No, no, no, that's not us. We're gonna 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:16.200 have sound mind, clear minds. In Jesus' name, Come on, 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.960 say like you mean it. This is my Bible. I 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.319 am what it says I am. I have what it 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:23.760 says I have. I can do what it says I 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:27.080 can do. Today I will be taught the word of God. 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:31.960 I boldly confess my mind is alert, my heart is recepted. 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:36.080 I will never be the same. In Jesus' name, God 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:39.520 bless you. I want to talk to you today about 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:44.240 fake friends. There are people, I should say ushers lock 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:49.040 the doors. But there are people that God brings into 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:53.200 our lives that are amazing people. They love us unconditionally. 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:57.040 They cheer us on, celebrate our victories, and stick with 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.880 us through thick and thin. But in the midst of 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:04.200 all these great people will be some fake friends, people 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:08.880 that have hidden agendas and ulterior motives. They're not concerned 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:11.959 about you. They're concerned about what you can do for them. 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.079 They see you as an opportunity in they'll use control 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:20.400 and manipulation to get what they want, guilty into doing 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:24.840 things make you feel bad because you can't meet their expectations. 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:29.240 A fake friend is two faced. They clap when you 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:33.760 succeed and act like they're happy. Down deep, they're jealous. 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:37.520 They were hoping you would fail. They compliment you on 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:41.840 your new outfit and act excited about the promotion, but 0:02:41.960 --> 0:02:44.880 behind your back talk about how you didn't deserve it, 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:52.639 make derogatory remarks. Fake friends create unnecessary drama, stir things up, 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:57.520 bring confusion. They act like they're watching after you doing 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:01.160 your favor. Their real agenda is to get you upset, 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:06.000 cause your strife and turmoil. If you don't have discernment 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.959 and recognize who's a true friend who has your best 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:13.640 interest at heart, and who's a fake friend who's just 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:16.440 here for what you could do for them, that life 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:20.520 can be frustrating. Jesus said in Matthew you will know 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:24.000 them by their fruit. Does it say you will know 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:27.880 them by their words? People can say one thing, they 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.840 can talk a good game, but they're not always who 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:35.040 they say They are. Their actions and how they treat you, 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.640 what they do is who they are. You won't have 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:40.720 to go up to an apple tree and ask it, 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:43.840 what kind of tree are you? You look at the fruit. 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:47.480 This is an apple. I know it's an apple tree. 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.080 You've never gone to an apple tree and found a 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:53.400 lemon growing one of the branches, never gone to an 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:56.520 orange tree and found a banana growing off of it. 0:03:56.920 --> 0:04:00.360 The tree will only produce the fruit of what it is. 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:04.360 If someone is always telling you one thing, but the 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:08.400 fruit is different, the fruit is not lying. The fruit 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:12.560 is who they are. Well, I'm loyal, I'm faithful, I'm 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:15.680 always gonna be there for you. But they never show off. 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.479 They always have an excuse. They're always too busy. That's 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:24.120 who they are. If they're gossiping, talking bad about people, 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:28.760 stirring up trouble, that's showing their true colors. Pay attention 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:32.880 to people's fruit. Well, Joel, they're nice to me, they 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:37.200 compliment me, they say kind things. But behind your back, 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:40.440 when you're not around, you hear how they talk bad 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:45.039 about you, push you down, discredit you. And I'm all 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:48.080 for giving people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they're 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:52.000 having a bad day, but if it happens again and again, 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:56.080 when it's a pattern, their fruit is not lying. That's 0:04:56.120 --> 0:05:01.320 who they are. Bottom line is you don't need fake friends. 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:03.680 You don't need people you have to play up to. 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.919 People that have hidden agendas, people that are too faced. 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:11.760 They're not helping you move forward. They're keeping you from 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:15.279 your destiny. If you'll get rid of the wrong people, 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:19.400 God will bring the right people. And sometimes the reason 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:22.440 we're not seeing true friends is we're holding on to 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:26.120 the wrong friends. Down deep, we know something's not right. 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:30.719 Our discernment's going off. They don't have integrity. They just 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.360 stir me up. They just want what I can do 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:36.839 for them. We try to defend them, make excuses. You 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:39.360 need to make a change. You don't have to make 0:05:39.400 --> 0:05:43.039 a big announcement you're fake. I'm done with you. Just 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:46.679 little by little, spend less and less time with them. 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:51.359 The scripture says, to redeem the time. Your time is 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:55.920 too valuable to spend with people that are draining your energy, 0:05:56.000 --> 0:06:00.000 that have hidden agendas, that don't really care about you. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:03.640 But what you can do for them. Life is flying by. 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:09.400 The enemy would love for us to waste years distracted, confused, 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:13.400 trying to figure out what they meant control. Do yourself 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.320 a favor, get rid of the fate friends you have 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:20.440 a destiny to fulfill. There's a calling on your life. 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:24.479 We have a responsibility to live with purpose and not 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.800 be sidetracked by people that can pull us off course. 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:32.760 This is what happened with Sampson. His birth was predicted 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:36.320 by the prophets. He was destined to save the Israelites, 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:40.479 and God gave him supernatural strength and this power to 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:45.040 defeat his enemies. But Sampson started hanging around the wrong people. 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:48.880 He fell in love with a lady named Delilah. She 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:53.240 was beautiful. He was so infatuated and so caught up 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:57.400 he ignored what he was feeling inside. He didn't pay 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:01.440 attention to the alarms that were going off. God will 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:05.440 always give you a warning. There will be an uneasiness 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:09.800 and unrest. Don't push it down. That's God speaking to you. 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:14.600 That's the spirit of discernment telling you be careful. Something 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:18.080 is faith. It's not what it looks like. Sampson was 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.360 a Hebrew and the Philistines were trying to capture him 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:25.040 because he was so powerful. They couldn't defeat him by 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:28.920 normal means, so they decided to try to trick him. 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:32.720 They told Delilah to go seduce him and try to 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:36.080 find the secret of his strength. They said in verse five, 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:39.480 if you'll do this, will each pay you eleven hundred 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:43.960 pieces of silver. She got all dressed up and put 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:48.240 her fake eyelashes on, her hair extensions in, got her 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.920 new Louis Vaton bag, strutted in there to see Sampson. 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:55.920 He looked up and saw how beautiful she was. He 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:59.160 thought he was dreaming. He was so caught up in 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:03.080 how amazing she looked on the outside. He didn't think 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:06.960 anything about what was happening on the inside. What were 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:10.480 her motives? Why was she there? Who is this girl? 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:15.560 She was so nice, kind, beautiful. Sampson thought this must 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:18.560 be the hand of God, when in fact it was 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:22.040 the enemy at work. She wasn't there because she cared 0:08:22.080 --> 0:08:25.800 about Sampson. She was there because of what Samson could 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:28.760 do for her. She had a hidden agenda. She could 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.880 get paid a bunch of silver for just finding out 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:36.360 a secret. She acted so loving, Sampson, You are everything 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:39.800 I dreamed of. You are so good looking. I want 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:43.400 to spend my life with you. All eyes don't believe 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:49.000 everything you hear. The scripture says, test the spirit, dig 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:53.360 down a little deeper, listen to what you're feeling inside. 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:56.920 Every person is not who they say they are. When 0:08:56.960 --> 0:09:00.200 there's a hidden agenda, they'll say what you wanted here, 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:05.360 They'll use manipulation, deception, flattery to try to get what 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:09.160 they wanted. She had Sampson lay his head in her lap. 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:12.560 She said, now, sammy boy, if you really loved me, 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:16.679 please tell me the secret of your strength. What's amazing. 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.960 If Sampson knew she was trying to trick him, he 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:24.040 knew she wasn't being truthful, but he didn't take it seriously. 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.760 He thought he could play around with it. He told her, 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:31.239 if you tie me up with seven fresh bow strings 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:34.520 that have never been dried, then I will become weak, 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:38.120 have the strength of an ordinary man. She's knuck out 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:41.280 and told the Philistines. While he was sleeping, they came 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:44.320 in and tied him up with seven fresh bow streams. 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:48.320 Delilah woke him up, Sampson, Samson, the Philistines are here. 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:52.040 He sat up and broke those strings like they were nothing. 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:56.440 Delilah was so upset she came and said, Sampson, you 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:59.720 lied to me. If you loved me, you would tell 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:03.600 me the truth. The whole time she's been lying she's 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:07.520 got an ulterior motive. She's working for the enemy. Now 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:10.680 she's trying to make him feel guilty for not telling 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:15.160 this secret. This happened two more times. Sampson made up 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:18.360 things where he could be captured, but it wasn't the truth. 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:22.400 You would think Sampson would see right through this man. 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:25.200 This girl is not for me. She's in it for 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:28.280 herself for what she can get out of me. Has 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:33.080 seemed obvious. She's a fake. She's two faced. She's saying 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:36.480 she loves Sampson to his face, but behind his back, 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.760 she's telling the enemy how to capture him. Look at 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:43.960 this pattern. Three times she's done something so obvious to 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:48.079 show her colors. She asking the secret, then runs tells 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:51.920 the Philistines. How could Sampson not see that she was 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:57.040 a phony? Sometimes you need to step back and examine relationships. 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:01.240 Which ones have a pattern of causing you trouble, a 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:05.160 pattern of bringing strife and drama where you feel guilty, 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:10.040 you feel used. Perhaps you have a Delilah, a person 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:14.439 that's saying one thing but meaning something else, a hidden agenda, 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:18.719 using you for their gain. On the outside, they may 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:23.880 have great qualities, looks, position, charm, but what's going on 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:28.600 on the inside, what's happening behind the scenes. If there's 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:32.320 a pattern of things that are not right, lack of integrity, 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:36.240 a pattern of feeling guilty it's always my fault, I'm 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:41.440 not enough, a pattern of manipulation, drama, you're having to 0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:46.760 defend yourself, recognize what's happening. A fake friend is going 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:51.120 to drain your energies, take your peace, and cloud your vision. 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:55.359 Best thing you can do is put up some boundaries. 0:11:56.120 --> 0:12:00.040 Stop allowing them to manipulate you. Quit letting them and 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:04.360 get that close to you. Don't share those secrets, those 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:08.480 hidden dreams that you know they're going to use against you. Now, 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:11.360 I'm not saying they're a bad person. They just don't 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:14.760 have your best interests at heart. They may be kind, 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:18.160 they tell you nice things, they say they care about you, 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:23.400 so did Delilah. You have to judge them by their actions, 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:27.000 not by what they say. Look at the track record, 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:31.880 study the patterns. Ask yourself, why do I always feel 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:35.199 drained when I spend time with them? Why am I 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:38.960 having to constantly defend myself? Why do what I tell 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:43.040 them in confidence? Three other people ask me about Samson 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.520 kept overriding all these signs of a fake friend, of 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:50.160 a hidden agenda, And he had plenty of opportunities to 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:54.240 make a change, but he didn't do it. Delilah kept 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:57.360 asking and pleading with him, Samson, you know how much 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.840 I love you, How could you do me this way? 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:04.120 Tell me the secret of your strength? Verse seventeen says 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:08.920 she pressed him very hard with her words, day after 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:14.360 day until his soul was vexed unto death. That means 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.960 she nagged and nagged until he couldn't take it anymore. 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.440 This time he told her the truth. If you cut 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:25.120 my hair, I'll lose my strength. They cut it and 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:29.440 captured him. That was it. She got her pieces of silver. 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:33.560 He ended up bound and missed his destiny. Now I 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:37.199 realize not every fate friend is going to be this dramatic, 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.920 but the principle is there. They don't have your best 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.679 interests at heart. It's all about what you can do 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:48.120 for them. They'll pretend and charm, try to make you 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:51.679 feel bad when you don't do what they want. Recognize 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:56.199 what's happening. A true friend doesn't pressure you into doing 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:59.760 things you don't want. They don't try to manipulate you 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:03.560 in to getting their way. That's people with hidden agendas, 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:07.520 ulterior motives. They play up to you and get on 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:12.080 your good side and build your trust because eventually they're 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:15.160 going to try to get something from you. I pray 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:18.840 every day, God give me discernment, Help me to see 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:21.160 things for what they really are. Help me to know 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:26.360 who doesn't have good motives, who's trying to manipulate, who's pretending, 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:30.680 who's two faced. I heard someone say I ask God 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:34.760 to protect me from my enemies, and I started losing friends. 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:39.400 Sometimes it's not the enemy holding us back, it's fake friends. 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:44.600 It's deliless people that we're allowing in our lives that 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:48.040 don't have good motives, that are only out for what 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:51.080 we can do for them. If you're going to fulfill 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:55.040 your destiny, you have to be strong and take control 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:59.640 of your life. You have a responsibility to redeem your time, 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.080 to use the gifts God's given you to make the 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:07.040 most of each day. Like the apostle Paul tells us, 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.440 when my father went to be with the Lord and 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.440 I stepped up to pass through the church, I was 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.960 very insecure and I didn't know if I could do it. 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:18.520 This was all new to me and I'd never ministered before. 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.480 There was a man that I had grown up with 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:24.120 that was a part of the church and a friend 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:26.760 of our family. And it was a good man, and 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:30.520 I believe had good intentions, but he saw this as 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:33.760 an opportunity to take the church where he wanted it 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:37.040 to go. He would encourage me and tell me I 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:41.080 was doing good, but there was always this underlying message 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:44.160 that I needed to do more of this and less 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:47.720 of that. I felt this pressure that I was being 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:50.520 squeezed into a mold that I didn't want to be in. 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:55.000 And it wasn't anything overtly critical or negative. It was 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:58.160 just the feeling I would get from him, little subtle 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:02.000 innuendos to really be good if you did it this way, 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:04.400 or I think you'd be better off doing it this 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:09.160 other way. And I'm all for taking advice, getting good counsel. 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.520 But only you can hear what God is saying to 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:17.080 your spirit. God may confirm what he's saying through other people, 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:20.400 but God is not going to tell someone else what 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.080 you need to do for your life. He's not gonna 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:27.000 give them direction. He's gonna come straight to you. Seeing 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:30.720 the Old Testament, God would speak to the prophet to 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:34.160 tell the people what to do. But since Jesus came, 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.400 the Holy Spirit lives on the inside of each one 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:40.720 of us. You don't need a prophet to speak to you. 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:44.920 A priest, a rabbi, a pastor, a friend. God will 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:48.880 speak directly to you. And yes, he can use people, 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:53.240 but deep down you know what bears witness to your spirit. 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:57.040 Nothing this man was telling me felt right to me, 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:00.640 and over time he got more and more out spoken. 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:05.120 I'm very nice, I like to please people. But something 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:08.639 rose up in me so strongly. I thought to myself, 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.000 I am not going to be who you called me 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:13.480 to be. I'm gonna be who God called me to be, 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:16.960 because when we come to the end of life, we're 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:19.720 not going to answer to people. We're gonna answer to God. 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.399 And I was nice, I was kind, but I didn't 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:28.400 let him pressure me into his mold. Eventually he got 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.600 upset and left the church and we had a party. 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:34.640 I mean, we were so upset. But I don't mean 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:39.000 this derogatory. But he was a fake friend. He didn't 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:42.080 want what was best for me. He wanted to manipulate 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:46.080 me into doing what he wanted. All those times he 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:49.680 was encouraging me wasn't out of a pure spirit. There 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:52.840 was a hidden agenda. I gotta wind Joel over so 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:55.280 I can get my way. I can tell you this, 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:58.800 If I had not been strong and taking control of 0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:02.480 my life, wouldn't be up here today. If I had 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:05.720 not listened to the discernment, if I had pushed down 0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:09.320 that feeling that this is not right doesn't bear witness, 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:13.600 and just giving into what he wanted, letting him control me, 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.400 I would have missed what God called me to do. 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.480 It's good to evaluate why we do things. Am I 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:23.280 doing this out of guilt because this person is going 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:25.959 to look down on me if I don't. That's a 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:29.760 fake friend. A true friend wants the best for you. 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:33.520 A true friend will get an agreement with what God 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:37.000 put in your heart and cheer you on, even if 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.960 it's not what they were hoping for. And yes, they 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:43.360 may challenge you, they may give you good advice. They're 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.160 not going to pressure you try to make you feel 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:49.359 bad if you don't do what they want. If not, 0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:54.040 it's manipulation. Too many of us are letting other people 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:58.679 run our lives, all the demands, the expectations. If I 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:02.119 don't stop by joy, they'll get their feelings hurt. If 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.600 I don't call them three times a week, they're not 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:08.439 going to be happy. Here's the key. You're not responsible 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:13.439 to keep everyone happy. Your responsibility is to keep yourself happy, 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:18.520 keep yourself peaceful, keep yourself focused. If you have a 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:23.360 friend that always stirs things up, brings drama, gets you upset. 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:26.040 Did you hear what they said about you? You shouldn't 0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:28.760 let that happen. Can I tell you you don't need 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:33.280 that friend. They're a peace stealer. They're a drama queen. 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:36.760 You have enough drama in your life. You don't need 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:41.040 them bringing drama. Some people's hidden agenda is to stir 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:44.840 things up, turn you against your coworker, get you jealous 0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:48.040 of your neighbor, critical of your cousin. You don't have 0:19:48.119 --> 0:19:51.639 time for that. They don't have your best interests at heart. 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:57.840 That's a fake friend. Their goal is to create chaos, discontentment. 0:19:58.320 --> 0:20:01.320 When they're around, there's always some kind of trouble. But 0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:05.520 God is not the author of confusion. Your friends shouldn't 0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:10.680 drain you upset you. True friends bring peace. True friends 0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:15.280 bring joy. You're better when they leave, not worse off. 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:19.439 We all know Judas the most famous fate friend. He 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:23.760 was one of Jesus' disciples. He traveled with Jesus, saw 0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:27.879 the miracles, saw Lazarus come back to life, saw the 0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:31.960 food multiplied, saw Jesus going around being good to people. 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:35.720 All this love and compassion. You would think Judas would 0:20:35.720 --> 0:20:40.200 be layal, trustworthy, someone you could count on. But when 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:44.200 Jesus was in the garden of Gaseimonea about to be crucified, 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:48.080 Judas came up with the Roman soldiers to betray him. 0:20:48.600 --> 0:20:53.000 When he saw Jesus, he said hello, rebbi and kiss Jesus. 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:58.040 Seemed like a friendly greeting, a warm embrace. Look at 0:20:58.040 --> 0:21:01.520 how people can be two faced. The kiss was assigned 0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:06.080 for the soldiers to arrest Jesus. Behind the friendly greeting 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:10.399 was a hidden agenda, and Jesus knew all along what 0:21:10.480 --> 0:21:13.800 was going to happen. After the kiss, Jesus said to 0:21:13.880 --> 0:21:18.240 Judas in verse fifty, do what you came to do. Friend. 0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:25.200 He called Judas friend. He could have called him enemy, betrayer, hypocrite, 0:21:25.640 --> 0:21:29.399 but he called him friend. Jesus was showing us that 0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:32.919 not everyone that calls your friend is truly a friend. 0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:38.200 Some people that seem like Therefore, you have hidden agendas. 0:21:38.600 --> 0:21:41.080 They see all the goods you do. They see you 0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:45.520 loving your family, excelling at work, being a blessing to others, 0:21:46.280 --> 0:21:50.159 instead of celebrating you and cheering you on. Sometimes the 0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:54.320 enemy will plant a seed of jealousy, seed of bitterness, 0:21:54.560 --> 0:21:58.320 a set of strife. We all have a few enemies 0:21:58.359 --> 0:22:01.520 in life, people that don't want us to succeed. But 0:22:01.640 --> 0:22:05.920 sometimes the enemy is not obvious. It's a fake friend. 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:10.480 It's a Judas, someone that greets us warmly but has 0:22:10.520 --> 0:22:15.280 wrong motives, that gives us that friendly kiss, but not 0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:19.720 out of affection, it's out of betrayal. Pay attention to 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:23.840 your enemies, but stay aware of your friends. May not 0:22:23.920 --> 0:22:28.000 be something so dramatic like Judas betraying Jesus. But friends 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:32.200 can get jealous, friends can turn manipulative, friends can have 0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:35.400 wrong motives. And again it doesn't mean they're a bad 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:38.679 person and you have to never see them again. No, 0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:42.160 but you should be aware so you don't open yourself 0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:46.000 up to harm. The scripture says, don't cast your pearls 0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:51.320 among swine. Your pearls are your gifts, your dreams, your personality. 0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:56.400 Now I've learned some people can't handle your success. They 0:22:56.440 --> 0:22:59.320 were fine as long as you were at the same level, 0:22:59.640 --> 0:23:03.520 in the same department. You're still single. But if you 0:23:03.600 --> 0:23:07.359 pass them up and see more favored you get married, 0:23:07.560 --> 0:23:10.840 you move into that nicer house that can stir them up. 0:23:11.760 --> 0:23:14.639 They may applaud you on the outside, but on the 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:18.200 inside they think they don't deserve that promotion. I'm smarter 0:23:18.280 --> 0:23:22.080 than they are. A true friend will celebrate your success. 0:23:22.880 --> 0:23:27.080 They're not competing with you, trying to outperform you, secretly 0:23:27.160 --> 0:23:31.240 hoping you'll fail, You'll get left out. You don't need 0:23:31.320 --> 0:23:34.879 people like that. If you see these signs of people 0:23:35.119 --> 0:23:39.679 critical not for you, sometimes you just feel it on 0:23:39.760 --> 0:23:43.960 the inside. Something's not right. Don't make excuses for it, 0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:48.119 don't try to win them over. Just move forward and 0:23:48.160 --> 0:23:51.399 God will bring you friends that do celebrate you, friends 0:23:51.400 --> 0:23:55.359 that are happy when you succeed. And I'm sure you 0:23:55.480 --> 0:23:58.720 have some of those friends now, amazing people that you 0:23:58.840 --> 0:24:02.679 dearly love, that you can always count on. And I 0:24:02.680 --> 0:24:06.040 would guess that you may have a few fake friends 0:24:06.080 --> 0:24:10.520 as well. The key is to know the difference. You 0:24:10.600 --> 0:24:14.840 need to know when Judas is among you. Jesus never 0:24:14.880 --> 0:24:17.879 got rid of him. He was a part of his destiny, 0:24:18.160 --> 0:24:21.399 but he knew who he was now a fake friend. 0:24:21.960 --> 0:24:25.560 You don't bring into your inner circle. You don't tell 0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:28.920 them things that are confidential that you don't want repeated. 0:24:29.720 --> 0:24:33.080 You don't let them control and manipulate you. You set 0:24:33.119 --> 0:24:37.280 some boundaries. You don't play up to them, waste your 0:24:37.359 --> 0:24:41.439 valuable time trying to keep them happy. These may be 0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:44.320 coworkers that are going to be there for the next 0:24:44.359 --> 0:24:49.520 ten years, maybe family members, relatives that you know have 0:24:49.600 --> 0:24:53.280 hidden agendas. They act like they like you, but you 0:24:53.359 --> 0:24:56.840 know better. They don't want you to succeed. That's okay. 0:24:57.440 --> 0:25:01.720 You have the grace to handle it. Let them upset you. 0:25:01.720 --> 0:25:03.960 You don't take de bait when they try to stir 0:25:04.040 --> 0:25:06.920 you up. You don't get offended when they leave you out, 0:25:07.600 --> 0:25:10.399 You stay in peace. You know who they are. They're 0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:15.000 just a fake friend. Jesus came riding into Jerusalem on 0:25:15.040 --> 0:25:19.439 that donkey palm Sunday. People shouted Hosanna, blessed is he 0:25:19.480 --> 0:25:22.800 who comes in the name of the Lord, celebrating his arrival. 0:25:23.480 --> 0:25:27.960 All this praise and people cheering him on. Three days later, 0:25:28.359 --> 0:25:32.240 the same people were shouting, crucify him. He's not our king. 0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:35.840 Jesus had a lot of fake friends to deal with 0:25:36.720 --> 0:25:39.920 in our journey. We're going to have some fake friends. 0:25:40.560 --> 0:25:42.679 You can't get rid of them, but you need to 0:25:42.720 --> 0:25:46.840 be aware. Are you spending time and energy trying to 0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:51.600 keep people happy that have ulterior motives, or if you're 0:25:51.600 --> 0:25:55.640 doing things out of guilt pressure they don't meet your demands, 0:25:55.680 --> 0:26:00.399 they get upset. Maybe you have some delilahs, people with 0:26:00.480 --> 0:26:04.520 hidden agendas trying to take advantage of you, wanting only 0:26:04.560 --> 0:26:08.160 what you can do for them. Pay attention to who's 0:26:08.200 --> 0:26:12.840 in your life. Listen to the warnings, don't override that uneasiness. 0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:16.720 That's God's speaking to you. Remember you will know them 0:26:16.760 --> 0:26:20.680 by their fruit, not by their words, but by their actions. 0:26:21.280 --> 0:26:25.600 Notice patterns that are not right, things that don't ever change. 0:26:26.200 --> 0:26:30.360 You don't have time to waste playing games, being distracted. 0:26:30.760 --> 0:26:32.879 That may have happened in the past, but this is 0:26:32.920 --> 0:26:36.119 a new day. God is going to show you people 0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:40.840 that have hidden agendas. He's going to reveal wrong motives. 0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:43.600 You don't have to be rude to them, just quietly 0:26:43.680 --> 0:26:46.880 spend less and less time with them. If you'll weed 0:26:46.920 --> 0:26:50.800 out the wrong people. I believe and declare God is 0:26:50.840 --> 0:26:53.919 going to bring you true friends, people that want the 0:26:54.000 --> 0:26:58.800 best for you, that push you forward, that are loyal, trustworthy, 0:26:59.119 --> 0:27:01.679 that help you become all you were created to be 0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:05.600 in Jesus' name, And if you receive it, can you 0:27:05.640 --> 0:27:09.760 say amen? I'd like to give you an opportunity to 0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:12.720 make Jesus the Lord of your life. Would you pray 0:27:12.800 --> 0:27:17.440 with me? Just say, Lord, Jesus, I'll repent of my sins. 0:27:18.280 --> 0:27:22.120 Come into my heart. I'll make you my Lord and savior. 0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:25.200 If you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got 0:27:25.240 --> 0:27:28.320 born again. We'd love to send you some free information 0:27:28.480 --> 0:27:30.720 on your new walk with the Lord. You can text 0:27:30.720 --> 0:27:33.560 the number on the screen or go to the website. 0:27:33.800 --> 0:27:36.280 But I hope you'll get into a good Bible based 0:27:36.359 --> 0:27:40.919 church and keep God first place. When we face challenges, 0:27:41.080 --> 0:27:43.680 it's easy to feel like God has forgotten about us. 0:27:44.000 --> 0:27:46.680 We don't see anything happening, and God's telling us it's 0:27:46.680 --> 0:27:49.520 not going to work out. But God is not called 0:27:49.560 --> 0:27:51.840 the Great I was or the Great I will be. 0:27:52.359 --> 0:27:55.600 He's called the Great I Am. In my new book, 0:27:55.680 --> 0:27:58.800 he is I Am, You'll discover that God is with 0:27:58.840 --> 0:28:01.960 you in every area of your life. I Am is 0:28:02.080 --> 0:28:05.560 always in the present, not at a later time. God 0:28:05.640 --> 0:28:08.920 is working in your life right now. I Am means 0:28:09.040 --> 0:28:11.800 I am your healer. I am your provider, I am 0:28:11.880 --> 0:28:16.440 your waymaker. Whether you're facing a challenge or pursuing your dreams, 0:28:16.640 --> 0:28:19.440 stay in faith. The Great I Am is right there 0:28:19.480 --> 0:28:19.920 with you. 0:28:20.920 --> 0:28:23.320 As our way of saying thank you for your gift 0:28:23.320 --> 0:28:25.800 of any amount this month, we would like to send 0:28:25.800 --> 0:28:29.240 you a copy of Joel's book, he Is I Am. 0:28:29.600 --> 0:28:32.879 God is for you here and now. Are you in 0:28:32.960 --> 0:28:37.040 need of protection or provision today? Jesus assures us, I 0:28:37.119 --> 0:28:40.840 Am the good Shepherd. Does the path ahead seem uncertain 0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:45.080 or dark? Jesus declares, I Am the Light of the world. 0:28:45.640 --> 0:28:48.640 Do you feel like your career, calling or marriage just 0:28:48.680 --> 0:28:53.640 beyond hope? Jesus promises, I Am the Resurrection and the Life. 0:28:54.200 --> 0:28:57.880 With every I Am statement, You'll discover more about who 0:28:57.960 --> 0:29:00.600 God is and what He has made of being for you, 0:29:01.040 --> 0:29:05.440 not someday, but today. Request your copy today and watch 0:29:05.480 --> 0:29:09.600 God's promise come alive. No matter what you face, He 0:29:09.720 --> 0:29:13.080 is here and now for you. Be sure to request 0:29:13.160 --> 0:29:16.080 your copy of he Is I Am. God Is for 0:29:16.200 --> 0:29:20.520 you here and now today. Visit Joeloastin dot com or 0:29:20.600 --> 0:29:23.760 call eight eight eight five six seven, Joel. 0:29:24.480 --> 0:29:28.000 You're never alone. The Great I Am is behind the scenes, 0:29:28.120 --> 0:29:33.040 making ways, opening doors, turning things in your favor. Victoria 0:29:33.040 --> 0:29:34.640 and I want you to know we love you. We 0:29:34.760 --> 0:29:37.680 pray for you every day. Thanks for your prayer and 0:29:37.760 --> 0:29:41.479 support of the ministry. Your generosity is making a difference 0:29:41.560 --> 0:29:45.160 in people's lives around the world. Special thank you to 0:29:45.200 --> 0:29:48.720 our Champion of Hope partners for your monthly support. If 0:29:48.720 --> 0:29:51.560 you're not a partner, I hope you'll consider becoming one. 0:29:51.880 --> 0:29:55.400 Remember you can watch the services online every Sunday morning, 0:29:55.960 --> 0:30:00.120 download our daily podcast, listen on Serious XM, watch OHI 0:30:00.120 --> 0:30:03.840 our YouTube channel, and the new Joel Ostein network streaming 0:30:03.880 --> 0:30:06.880 on television twenty four hours a day. But until we 0:30:06.920 --> 0:30:09.360 see you next time, may the Lord bless you and 0:30:09.480 --> 0:30:10.000 keep you. 0:30:10.720 --> 0:30:13.760 Be sure to request your copy of he Is I Am. 0:30:14.080 --> 0:30:18.080 God is for you here and now today. Visit Joelostein 0:30:18.160 --> 0:30:21.480 dot com or call eight eight eight five six seven 0:30:21.720 --> 0:30:25.480 Joel for an additional donation. This month we are offering 0:30:25.600 --> 0:30:29.760 the IM Collection. It includes a beautiful two piece scripture 0:30:29.800 --> 0:30:34.160 walart plus the he Is IM book bundle. The stretched 0:30:34.200 --> 0:30:39.200 canvas elegantly features IM and scripture reference John fourteen six. 0:30:39.720 --> 0:30:43.120 You can request these unique resources by calling eight eight 0:30:43.160 --> 0:30:47.000 eight five six seven Joel for logging on to joelostein 0:30:47.080 --> 0:30:51.120 dot com today call or click anytime, twenty four hours 0:30:51.160 --> 0:30:55.000 a day. Yes, be reminded that the power of IM 0:30:55.320 --> 0:31:00.200 is for you, each and every day