Don't Rely On People

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It's time 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:02.200 to get the recognition you deserve and earn a degree 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:04.840 you'll be proud of, one that employers will trust and 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:07.119 respect when you take the next step in your life 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.280 and career. Make it count with Purdue Global Produce online 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:14.920 university for working adults. Start your comeback at Purdueglobal dot edu. 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:29.440 We're a God bless you. 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:32.399 It's joy to come into your homes, and if you're 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:34.920 ever in our area, please stop buy and be a 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:36.320 part of one of our services. 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:38.759 I promise you will make you feel right at home. 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:41.920 I like to start with something funny, and I heard 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:45.280 about these three sons that left home and went out 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:48.400 and prospered. They got back together to talk about the 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:50.560 gifts they bought their elderly mother. 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:52.040 The first son. 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:55.559 Said, I built mom a big house. The second one said, 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.920 I got her a fancy car. The third son said, 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:01.840 since mom loves to read the Bible. 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:03.840 But she can barely see anymore. 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:06.880 I got her a specially trained parent that can quote 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:10.440 the entire Bible. A few months later, they received a 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:13.360 letter from their mother. It said, Milton, the house you 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:14.800 built me is way too big. 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.880 Gerald, the car you bought me is way too small. 0:02:18.280 --> 0:02:21.840 But my dearest Donald, your simple gift is my favorite. 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:23.360 The chicken was delicious. 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.480 Say it like you mean it. This is my Bible. 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.040 I am what it says I am. I have what 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:33.480 it says I have. I can do what it says 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:36.280 I can do. Today I will be taught the word 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:40.480 of God. I'll boldly confess. My mind is alert, my 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:44.760 heart is receptive. I will never be the same. In Jesus' name, 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:48.400 God bless you. I want to talk to you today 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:52.720 about not relying on people. It's great when people believe 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:56.919 in us, cheer us on, make us feel valuable. We 0:02:56.960 --> 0:03:00.320 love when our spouse compliments us, a friend is there 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:03.800 to give encouragement, our coworker stays late to help us 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:07.359 on a project. God uses people to help move us 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:09.080 toward our destiny. 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:10.000 But here's the key. 0:03:10.480 --> 0:03:14.040 You can't become so dependent on people that you're getting 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:16.840 your worth and value. 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:17.359 Out of how they treat you. 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:24.560 It's easy to become addicted to compliments, addicted to encouragement, addicted. 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:25.040 To them cheering you on. 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:28.959 Now you rely on them to keep you feeling good 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:32.640 about yourself, to always be there to validate you, to 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:36.080 make you feel approved and like a drug. If they 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:41.040 don't keep you fixed meet all your expectations, you get discouraged, 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:45.200 feel inferior. Work over time to try to win their approval. 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:49.400 The problem is you're trying to get from people what 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:50.640 only God can give. 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:52.160 Your worth. 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:56.800 Your value doesn't come from another person. It comes from 0:03:56.840 --> 0:04:01.040 your creator. If you rely on people, you'll be disappointed. 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:04.120 People will let you down, people will. 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.120 Get busy and not be there when you need it. 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.520 Sometimes people will even turn on you. 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:13.320 In the scripture, Peter was Jesus's close friend. They were 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:14.680 with each other day and night. 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:18.600 But when Jesus needed Peter the most, when he was 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:22.960 about to be crucified, Peter denied that he even knew Christ. 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:26.920 Jesus could have been upset. God, I don't understand it. 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:29.599 Why wasn't my friend there for me? He would have 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:31.320 missed his destiny. 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:33.120 Quit relying on people. 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:37.320 What they do or don't do doesn't determine your worth. 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:41.040 What they give you or don't give you cannot stop 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:44.840 your purpose. God breathed his life into you. He has 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:48.479 crowned you with his favor. Quit waiting for people to 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:53.640 approve you and start approving yourself. People may not encourage you. 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:57.520 You can encourage yourself. People may not make you feel special, 0:04:57.760 --> 0:05:00.680 you can make yourself feel special. I'm a child of 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:03.640 the most high God. I know I'm crowned with favor. 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:07.200 I'm one of a kind, I'm a masterpiece. You'll have 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:10.919 better relationships if you'll start validating yourself. 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:12.960 If you're always. 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:17.560 Depending on somebody else, you'll become needy, a burden, waiting 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:20.640 for other people to keep you fixed. Can I tell 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:24.800 you your friends, family members, they have enough problems of 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:28.200 their own, They have enough issues that they're dealing with 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:31.120 to not come home and have to work on you 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:35.640 for three hours. That's not only hurting you, it's unfair 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:39.039 to the people God put in your life. They're not 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:43.039 responsible for your happiness. They're not responsible to keep you 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:47.560 cheered up. Don't put that extra pressure on them. Learn 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:52.119 to receive your value, your self worth from your heavenly Father. 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:55.480 If you're basing that off of what people give you, 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.160 then if they change their mind, if they stop doing it, 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:03.120 you'll feel devalued. But when you go to God for it, 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:06.440 nobody can take it away. It's not dependent on how 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:09.600 somebody treats you, how they make you feel how many. 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:10.520 Compliments they give you. 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:14.039 It's dependent on the fact that you're a child of 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:17.680 Almighty God, and you know he has already approved you. 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:20.120 That's where you're getting your value. 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:21.160 Well, Joel, my. 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:24.520 Parents didn't raise me right, I didn't have a good childhood. 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:28.680 Or my spouse never compliments me. My boss didn't give 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:31.760 me the credit that I deserve. I say this respectfully. 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:35.480 If you didn't get it, you didn't need it. They 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:36.839 can't stop your destiny. 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:41.280 What they say or do cannot override God's plan for 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:42.040 your life. 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:43.840 Shake off the negativity. 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:49.080 That person that walked away did you wrong, made hurtful comments, 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:53.160 Shake off the disrespect. Don't believe the lies that you're 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:57.600 not talented enough, attractive enough, good enough. They don't determine 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:01.760 your value. They can't lessen your self worth. The only 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:05.000 power people have over you is the power that you 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:10.320 give them. Jesus had all kinds of people come against him, politicians, 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:15.280 religious leaders, haters, critics trying to discredit him, make him 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:18.800 feel inferior, cause him to give up. He could have 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:22.600 taken debit, thought I must not be too special. Listen 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:25.000 to what they're saying. Look at how they're treating me. 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:30.200 But Jesus understood this principle. He knew his value didn't 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:31.120 come from people. 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:33.120 It came from his heavenly father. 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:37.200 He said to them in John chapter five, your approval 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:39.560 or disapproval. 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:42.600 Means nothing to me. He was saying, I don't need 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:44.760 your approval to feel good about myself. 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:48.360 I don't have to have your encouragement, your support to 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:52.320 keep me moving forward. Paul said it this way in Philippians. 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:54.920 I am self sufficient. 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:59.240 In Christ's sufficiency, not in our own strength. But when 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:02.800 we know the creator of the universe lives in us. 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:07.360 He's equipped us, empowered us, anointed us, we can put 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:10.760 our shoulders back, hold our head up high, knowing that 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:14.120 if God approves us, we don't have to have people's approval. 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:17.680 And this good when people encourage us, when they cheer 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:21.680 us on. What I'm saying is, don't become dependent on that. 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.840 If somebody's not given you what you expect, they're not 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:30.200 validating you. That's okay. You can validate yourself. You can 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:31.280 approve yourself. 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:34.479 You are self sufficient in Christ's sufficiency. 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.920 You can feel good about who you are knowing that 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:41.640 God hand picked you, created you in his image, put 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:44.240 seeds of greatness on the inside. 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:45.240 What am I saying? 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:49.400 You don't need somebody else's praise. You don't have to 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:53.240 have people's applause. You have the applause from the one 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:57.040 who matters most, from the God who spoke worlds into existence. 0:08:57.240 --> 0:09:00.920 I'd rather have his applause than people's applause. Well, if 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.840 I could convince this person to like me, they know 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:07.040 a lot of people, then maybe some new doors would open. 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:11.359 The scripture says promotion doesn't come from people. 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:14.840 It comes from the Lord. God knows where all the 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:16.000 opportunities are. 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:19.839 He can make things happen for you without you having 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:23.240 to convince somebody to like you. You don't have to 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:26.079 play up to people try to win their favor. 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:28.800 If they don't want to be your friend, it's their 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:30.040 loss and not yours. 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:32.760 Do yourself a favor and keep moving forward. 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:34.560 They're not a part of your destiny. 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:39.960 God has divine connections people. He's already lined up. They're 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:44.360 already in your future. Sometimes the reason people don't give 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:46.679 us what we need is because. 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:47.160 They don't have it. 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:50.760 Nobody gave it to them. They didn't see it modeled 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:51.360 growing up. 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:53.040 If they weren't. 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:57.440 Raised showing affection with people expressing feelings, being good to 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:57.960 each other. 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:00.920 The problem is that don't have it to give. 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.360 If you're trying to get it from them, you're going 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:07.360 to be frustrated. Why don't you let them off the 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:10.079 hook and go to God for what they can't give you. 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:12.000 Here's the key. God has it all. 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:16.079 If you'll learn this principle to not rely on people, 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:19.920 but to go to Him for your encouragement, for your approval, 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:23.520 for your self worth, then you want live stressed out 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:27.560 because somebody is not giving you what you expect. If 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:29.320 nobody's complimenting. 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.720 You, you can compliment yourself. Get up in the morning, 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:33.880 look at yourself in the mirror, good morning, you good 0:10:33.920 --> 0:10:38.439 looking thing. Call it by faith. God calls you a masterpiece. 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:40.839 Say what God says about you. 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:43.480 I'm strong, I'm healthy, I'm one of a kind, I'm 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:49.360 highly favored. You have to build yourself up, encourage yourself, 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:54.680 compliment yourself. You cannot rely on your spouse, your parents, 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:55.520 your coach. 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:56.400 Your teacher, your pastor. 0:10:56.640 --> 0:11:00.520 They may mean well, they couldn't love you anymore, but 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.160 no person can meet all of your needs. 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:04.600 Only God can. 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:09.120 If you're just looking to people, eventually you're going to 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:14.040 become resentful, bitter, start holding that against them, it will. 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:17.960 Sour the relationship. And the truth is it's not their fault. 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:21.760 Maybe they have issues, they could be doing better in areas. 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:25.920 But if you'll not rely on people instead go to God, 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:30.000 then you won't be dependent on what somebody does. If 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:32.599 they're not giving you what you need and that was 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:35.800 the only way to get it, they would control your destiny. 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.480 God didn't design the plan for your life and say, Okay, 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:42.520 it's all dependent on if these other people do what's right, 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:45.160 if they encourage you, if they cheer you on, if 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.640 they never let you down, or God put everything. 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.079 You need within your power, and. 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.120 Instead of us live in needy. Oh man, why don't 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:56.080 they compliment me? Why won't they be my friend? The 0:11:56.200 --> 0:12:00.560 right attitude is nobody owes me anything. I don't have 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:03.560 to have people's credit, their applause, their support. 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:05.640 Their compliments. I am self sufficient. 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:08.720 I know where to go for everything that I need. 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:13.320 My father was raised very poor on a cotton farm 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:17.319 during the Great Depression. He didn't have enough food, hardly 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:22.160 any clothes, a limited education. It was a very rough childhood. 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:25.160 At the age of seventeen, my dad gave his life 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:27.839 to Christ, and he left the farm and went out 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:31.760 and started ministring. Years later, when he was in his 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:36.120 forties and had become a successful minister, he started thinking 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.040 about how he was raised and all the things he 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:43.400 had to endure. He wondered why his parents didn't give 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:45.760 him a better childhood, and why he had to go 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:49.880 without food and without a good education. All these negative 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:53.480 memories filled his mind and he started thinking, Ah. 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:54.040 That wasn't right. 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.040 They should have done better. They didn't give me what 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.560 I needed. He got so stirred up about it. He 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:04.080 was about to travel back to his parents' hometown and 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:08.320 confront his parents and tell them what he thought. Just 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:11.920 before he left, he heard something on the inside saying 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:15.559 they did you wrong, didn't they? He said, yeah, they 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:19.439 sure did. It said it wasn't fair, was it. They 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:21.680 didn't give you what you needed. He answered, no, it 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.080 wasn't fair. You're gonna let them have it? Yeah, I'm 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:27.400 gonna let them have it. Then the boy said, how 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:29.960 do you think you would have done if you would 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:33.360 have been in their shoes, with no income, with the 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:37.120 banks closing, with nobody to buy the cotton, with six 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:41.520 children to raise, no electricity, no washing machines, no modern 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:46.840 day conveniences. That conversation changed my father's perspective. 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:50.960 He realized his parents did the best they could with 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:54.320 what they had. They couldn't give him what they didn't have. 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:58.680 Why don't you let the people in your life off 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.600 the hook. They did the best they could. 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:05.400 They may have made decisions that you don't understand. Feels 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.280 like it puts you at a disadvantage, but you didn't 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:12.040 have to walk in their shoes. Maybe nobody gave them 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:15.600 what they needed to give to you. Bottom line, nobody 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:19.120 owes you anything. God is keeping all the records. 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.200 He has seen everything. 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:25.760 That's happened in your life, the injustice, the bad breaks, 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:30.320 the person that did you wrong. Those people cannot pay 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:34.280 you back. They cannot make your whole. Only God can. 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:37.760 He said he would give you beauty for the ashes. 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:40.880 He would pay you back double for the unfair things 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.880 that have happened. Quit looking to people to make it 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.320 up to you. Quit trying to get somebody to apologize, 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:50.680 to admit they were wrong, to give you what they 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:53.880 don't have. If you'll go to God, he'll bring you 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:56.840 out better. He'll make the rest of your life more 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:00.080 rewarding more fulfilling than it would have been if that 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:01.600 hadn't have happened in the first place. 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.440 And that's what my father did. He let it go. 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:08.440 He realized his parents couldn't give him what they didn't have. 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:12.200 Daddy went on to live a blessed, prosperous, successful life. 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.800 And when you let people off the hook and quit 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:19.520 trying to make them perform perfectly and keep you fixed, 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:23.960 not only would their life be better, but your relationships 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:28.080 will improve. No matter how good of a person is, 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:32.600 they can't give you everything that you need. I realize 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:35.960 I can't meet everyone of Victoria's needs. I can do 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:40.320 my best. I can compliment her, encourage her, treat her 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:41.440 with respect. 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:42.960 But I'm human. 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:47.320 I have flaws, shortcomings. If she just looks to me, 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:51.120 she'll be disappointed. But if you'll look to God, you'll 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:58.640 never be disappointed. No person has one hundred percent. I've 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:01.520 heard it said in a real life relationship, the most 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:05.320 the other person will have is eighty percent what you need. 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:09.280 There will always be twenty percent that they don't have 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:09.960 to give you. 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.880 The mistake we make is we leave the eighty to. 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:17.360 Go find the twenty in somebody else. The problem is 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:21.160 that next person will be missing twenty percent as well. 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.080 I know some of you thinking, Joel, my wife is 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.840 missing a lot more than twenty percent. Think of it 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.720 this way. If she had more, she wouldn't have married you. 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:39.080 I'm thinking with the ladies, part of the twenty percent 0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:42.760 that I'm missing that Victoria needs is I don't like 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.200 to talk a lot. You see me up here and 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:49.400 I seem outgoing, but in private, I'm more quiet and reserved. 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:52.760 Small talk is not one of my favorite things. And yes, 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:55.080 at home we talk and laugh and have fun together. 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:58.160 But Victoria and her family they can talk for hours. 0:16:58.200 --> 0:16:59.360 They enjoy each other. 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.920 We were having lunch one time at our house with 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:06.120 all of her family, and you know, after about thirty minutes, 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:09.280 when I'd finished eating, I asked to be excused and 0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:12.120 I went to the back and watched the football game. 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.479 Three and a half hours later, I came back and 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:17.119 they were still sitting at the table. 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.520 Nobody had moved. I was so amazed. 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.480 I asked them, did y'all go somewhere? Victoria said no, 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:24.840 we didn't go anywhere. I said, what are you talking about? 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:26.040 Victoria said nothing. 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:31.000 They talk about nothing longer than anybody I know. But 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:34.040 the key to a good. 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:39.800 Relationship is to recognize the other person's strengths and weaknesses, 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:43.880 then give them room to be who they are. Don't 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:46.840 try to squeeze them into your mold. What I appreciate 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.520 about Victorious she doesn't say, Joe'll come in here and 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:50.560 visit with us for three and. 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:53.080 A half hours. I'll get upset, I'll give you the 0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:53.679 cold shoulder. 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:56.960 She recognizes that's a part of the twenty percent that 0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:59.480 I don't have. I thank God every day that I 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:05.639 didn't get it. But Victoria, she doesn't try to squeeze 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.960 me into her mold, and even more importantly, she doesn't 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:11.480 try to get something from me that I don't have. 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:15.760 If you're relying on another person to meet all your 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:18.200 needs and become everything in your. 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:21.200 Life, you're going to be disappointed. You have to let 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:22.119 them off the hook. 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:26.760 Sometimes God will let us go through seasons where we're 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:30.840 not getting what we expect from people. On purpose, He'll 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:34.040 have them withhold it to teach us to not rely 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:37.720 on another person, but to get our encouragement, our value, 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:41.200 our worth from Him. And when I first started ministering 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:45.120 back in nineteen ninety nine, I was very insecure, very 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:46.320 unsure of myself. 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:47.160 I'd never done it. 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:49.760 My dad had that heart attack and went to be 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:51.520 with the Lord, and I. 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:54.119 Stepped up to pastor the church. Now I was so 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:57.600 concerned about what people thought and was I doing it 0:18:57.640 --> 0:18:58.160 good enough? 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:01.480 Were they going to accept me after the services when 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:04.640 I talk with visitors and different people. I lived off 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:08.159 of people's compliments. Joel, that was good today. I really 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:12.960 enjoyed it. Those comments were like water to a thirsty soul. 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:16.280 Now it's getting my approval, my validation from people, and 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:19.040 you know, God uses that to keep us going, keep 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:19.639 us moving. 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:22.200 But at some point, like a. 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:25.880 Mother weans a baby off a bottle so the child 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:28.920 can grow up, God is going to wean you off 0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:33.400 having to have people's compliments. People's applause doesn't mean it's 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:36.320 never going to happen. It means you're going to get 0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:39.880 to a place where you're not dependent on someone else 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:43.000 cheering you on so you can feel good about yourself. 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:47.360 You're not dependent on them complimenting you and keeping you encouraged. 0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:52.959 It's nice to hear, but you've developed this self sufficiency. 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:56.000 You don't rely on people for their approval. You go 0:19:56.080 --> 0:20:00.280 to God for your approval. The first year that I 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:03.479 started ministering at Lakewood, every time I got up to speak, 0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:07.600 people would cheer for me. They were very encouraging, very loyal, 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:11.520 and supportive. Every time I walked off the platform, Victoria 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:13.439 would say, Joe, that was amazing today. 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:16.399 You did so good. Could have been the worst message 0:20:16.400 --> 0:20:16.959 in the world. 0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:19.359 I could always count on her to tell me it 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:19.840 was good. 0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:22.600 Now, I know sometimes she was lying, but I needed 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:23.120 it back then. 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:28.480 One day I just finished my message about a year 0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:31.880 in and I walked off the platform, and Victoria didn't 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:32.480 say a word. 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:35.639 I stood there and waited and waited. 0:20:35.720 --> 0:20:37.240 Gave her plenty of opportunities. 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:38.000 Still nothing. 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:41.240 I thought, well, she just preoccupied thinking about something else. 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:43.880 I went out to visit with the visitors and talk 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:48.640 with different people. Not one person complimented me on my sermon. 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:52.560 Usually every other person says something just being polite. I 0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:54.960 thought they were playing a trick on me. I left 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:58.960 there so discouraged. I got home. My little dog can 0:20:59.000 --> 0:21:00.159 hear our car coming in. 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:03.359 She's always at the back door, so happy to see me, 0:21:03.440 --> 0:21:06.200 jumping up on me. I opened the door. My dog 0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:10.960 wasn't even there. I walked over. She was in her bed. 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:14.360 She looked up at me, barely opened her eyes, like, oh, 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:15.120 it's just you. 0:21:15.320 --> 0:21:17.159 Close your eyes, went back to sleep. 0:21:18.760 --> 0:21:20.919 God will use your dog given to work on you. 0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:27.239 Looking back now, I realize God was teaching me to 0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:28.200 not rely. 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:29.920 On what people think to. 0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:33.520 Have to have their applause and their approval. If I 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:36.600 had not learned that back then, I wouldn't be standing 0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:40.360 here today. Because the higher God takes you, there will 0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:44.480 be more disapproval, more opposition, more critics. If you're basing 0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:50.200 your work and value on how people are treating you 0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:52.840 and how much they're cheering you on, and you're trying 0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:56.480 to keep all of them happy, you'll never become everything 0:21:56.560 --> 0:21:59.959 God created you to be. In those early years, if 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:03.160 I heard one negative comment, it ruined my whole Sunday. 0:22:03.640 --> 0:22:06.320 I'd go home discourage, thinking that I didn't do good enough. 0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:10.040 But now that I've been weaned off that bottle, so 0:22:10.160 --> 0:22:12.760 to speak, if I hear something negative. 0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:13.280 Doesn't bother me. 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:17.040 I realize, as long as I'm doing my best honoring God, 0:22:17.320 --> 0:22:19.160 I don't have to have people's approval. 0:22:19.240 --> 0:22:20.800 I have al Mighty God's approval. 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:26.720 Here's the thing you're never going to keep everyone happy. 0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:29.560 Quit trying to please people. 0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:32.199 When you come to the end of your life, you 0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:35.200 are not going to stand before people and give an account. 0:22:35.440 --> 0:22:38.119 You're going to stand before God. He's not going to 0:22:38.160 --> 0:22:40.959 say did you keep everyone happy? Did you please all 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:44.040 your family? Did you have the support from your coworkers. 0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:47.720 He's going to ask, did you fulfill my purpose for 0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:48.400 your life? 0:22:48.760 --> 0:22:52.040 Did you run your race? Did you finish your assignment? 0:22:53.240 --> 0:22:56.679 Maybe, like with me, you're not getting from people what 0:22:56.800 --> 0:23:00.600 you used to, the compliments, the support, the encouragement. Instead 0:23:00.640 --> 0:23:03.400 of being frustrated, have a new perspective. 0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:05.040 God is growing you up. 0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:08.960 He's getting you prepared for the next level of your destiny. 0:23:09.320 --> 0:23:14.200 The less you depend on people, the stronger your spiritual muscles. 0:23:13.880 --> 0:23:16.159 Are going to become, and the higher you're going to go. 0:23:17.520 --> 0:23:21.640 In Judges chapter seven, the Midianites joined forces with two 0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:24.640 other armies that crossed the Jordan. 0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:26.960 River and were about to attack the Israelites. 0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:29.880 Gideon put out a call to all of his men. 0:23:30.400 --> 0:23:32.159 Thirty two thousand. 0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:36.200 Israeli warriors showed up ready to fight. Gideon was feeling good. 0:23:36.640 --> 0:23:40.119 He had a large army to protect the people of Israel. 0:23:40.640 --> 0:23:43.720 They marched out toward those enemies. But God said to 0:23:43.800 --> 0:23:47.479 him in verse two, Gideon, you have too many people 0:23:47.560 --> 0:23:47.879 with you. 0:23:48.640 --> 0:23:51.280 If you win the battle, you'll think you did it 0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:52.440 in your own strength. 0:23:53.320 --> 0:23:57.160 God instructed him to tell everyone that wanted to leave, 0:23:57.320 --> 0:24:00.800 anyone that was afraid they could go back home. Twenty 0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:04.680 two thousand men turned around and left. He lost two 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:09.600 thirds of his army. I'm sure Gideon gulped and said, God, 0:24:09.640 --> 0:24:11.320 did you see what just happened. 0:24:11.800 --> 0:24:13.080 God said, yes, I saw it. 0:24:13.280 --> 0:24:17.240 But Gideon, you still have too many people. And God 0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:21.359 told Gideon to take those remaining ten thousand men down 0:24:21.400 --> 0:24:24.280 to get a drink. He was to divide them into 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:27.520 two groups. Every man that put his mouth to the 0:24:27.560 --> 0:24:30.840 water and drank that was one group. The second group 0:24:31.280 --> 0:24:33.720 was the men who cupped their hands and brought the 0:24:33.760 --> 0:24:38.560 water to their mouth. Nine thousand, seven hundred men put 0:24:38.600 --> 0:24:39.240 their mouth. 0:24:39.040 --> 0:24:41.520 To the water. That was the group that was to 0:24:41.520 --> 0:24:42.040 go home. 0:24:42.760 --> 0:24:46.199 Only three hundred men drank it the other way. His 0:24:46.480 --> 0:24:49.640 army went from thirty two thousand to three hundred. 0:24:50.359 --> 0:24:52.440 I can imagine Gideon. 0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:55.679 Thought God, I was confident with thirty two thousand, I 0:24:55.720 --> 0:24:58.320 was a little worried with ten thousand, But God, three 0:24:58.400 --> 0:25:03.399 hundred men, this is impossible. God was saying, Gideon, you 0:25:03.520 --> 0:25:06.240 don't need everyone that you think you need. 0:25:06.840 --> 0:25:10.560 You're depending on too many people. God is saying that 0:25:10.600 --> 0:25:11.080 to us. 0:25:11.560 --> 0:25:15.120 You don't need all of your coworkers to support you. 0:25:15.119 --> 0:25:17.600 You don't have to have all your friends and family 0:25:17.640 --> 0:25:18.679 members cheering you on. 0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:19.640 Here's the key. 0:25:20.280 --> 0:25:24.000 The less you depend on people, the greater the anointing 0:25:24.080 --> 0:25:24.760 in your life. 0:25:25.920 --> 0:25:28.159 When you're not depending on someone. 0:25:27.800 --> 0:25:32.080 Else hoping that they'll help you, thinking that they're the savior, 0:25:32.440 --> 0:25:35.399 then God will release his favor in your life in 0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:38.960 a greater way. Gideon went out with those three hundred 0:25:39.000 --> 0:25:43.760 men one percent of what he started with. God supernaturally 0:25:43.840 --> 0:25:47.080 helped them to defeat those armies that were much bigger 0:25:47.359 --> 0:25:51.240 and much more equipped. In the same way, God is 0:25:51.280 --> 0:25:54.440 going to give you victories where the odds were totally 0:25:54.480 --> 0:25:58.160 against you. You know, you could accomplish your goal if 0:25:58.200 --> 0:26:02.480 you had the support, the connect You could overcome that obstacle. 0:26:02.880 --> 0:26:05.840 If you had the strongest players, the best people on 0:26:05.880 --> 0:26:09.120 your legal team. God is saying, don't worry about it. 0:26:09.440 --> 0:26:12.560 You don't have to have all those people. You and 0:26:12.680 --> 0:26:16.320 God are a majority the forces that are for you 0:26:16.680 --> 0:26:19.560 are greater than the forces that are against you. Now, 0:26:19.640 --> 0:26:22.719 quit saying, oh, if they just train me, if they 0:26:22.920 --> 0:26:26.320 just get behind me. If you'll quit depending on people, 0:26:26.560 --> 0:26:30.040 the anointing will increase in your own life. You'll accomplish 0:26:30.119 --> 0:26:33.840 more with less help, with less people because of God's 0:26:33.880 --> 0:26:38.080 favor on your life. Are you frustrated because you don't 0:26:38.119 --> 0:26:41.359 think you have enough support? Have this new perspective. 0:26:41.720 --> 0:26:45.000 The greatest force in the universe is breathing in. 0:26:44.920 --> 0:26:49.160 Your direction right now. Are you discouraged because people are 0:26:49.160 --> 0:26:52.399 not giving you what they used to. It's because God's 0:26:52.440 --> 0:26:56.440 growing you up. Quit trying to get from people what only. 0:26:56.200 --> 0:26:56.880 God can give. 0:26:57.400 --> 0:26:59.840 Go to Him for your value, your self worth, for 0:26:59.840 --> 0:27:04.640 your encouragement. If you'll start passing these tests, not relying 0:27:04.760 --> 0:27:08.680 on people, you'll not only live more confident, more secure, 0:27:09.240 --> 0:27:12.960 but I believe and declare, like Gideon, You're going to 0:27:13.000 --> 0:27:18.680 overcome obstacles that looked insurmountable, accomplish dreams that seemed impossible, 0:27:19.000 --> 0:27:22.520 and reached the fullness of your destiny in Jesus' name, 0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:23.159 If you. 0:27:23.200 --> 0:27:25.000 Receive it, can you say it then? Today? 0:27:27.040 --> 0:27:30.000 We never like to close our broadcasts without giving you 0:27:30.040 --> 0:27:33.080 an opportunity to make Jesus the lord of your life. 0:27:33.560 --> 0:27:38.000 Would you pray with me, Just say, Lord Jesus, I'll 0:27:38.040 --> 0:27:39.200 repent of my sins. 0:27:40.720 --> 0:27:46.480 Come into my heart. I make you my Lord and savior. Friends, 0:27:46.480 --> 0:27:49.200 if you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got 0:27:49.240 --> 0:27:49.840 born again. 0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:53.720 Get in a good Bible based church. Keep God first place. 0:27:54.040 --> 0:27:56.520 He's going to take your places that you've never dreamed. 0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:00.879 As a thank you for your support department this month, 0:28:01.000 --> 0:28:03.480 Joel and Victoria, we'd like to send you a copy 0:28:03.480 --> 0:28:07.680 of Joel's new three message series, Victory in the Storm. 0:28:07.920 --> 0:28:10.720 In this new series, you learn you don't have to 0:28:10.720 --> 0:28:13.480 stay stuck in defeat when the winds and storms come. 0:28:13.840 --> 0:28:16.840 You have the power to stay strong regardless of what 0:28:16.920 --> 0:28:19.800 comes against you. Request your copy of Victory in the 0:28:19.840 --> 0:28:23.800 Storm today at Joeloustein dot com or call eight eight 0:28:23.800 --> 0:28:25.119 eight five six seven. 0:28:25.359 --> 0:28:29.720 Joel, we can't control everything that happens to us, but 0:28:29.800 --> 0:28:33.240 we can't control how we respond in difficult times. We 0:28:33.280 --> 0:28:35.760 don't have to get upset. We can stay in peace 0:28:36.320 --> 0:28:39.240 knowing that God promised all things are going to work 0:28:39.240 --> 0:28:40.120 out for our good. 0:28:40.480 --> 0:28:43.200 That difficulty is not going to defeat you. It's going 0:28:43.240 --> 0:28:46.320 to promote you request this resource. It will help you 0:28:46.400 --> 0:28:49.040 live the victorious life that belongs to you. 0:28:49.560 --> 0:28:52.800 Several years ago, I was diagnosed with what's called a goiter, 0:28:53.080 --> 0:28:56.000 that's an extremely enlarged thyroid. It was the size of 0:28:56.000 --> 0:28:58.720 both of my surgeon's fists. I had to have surgery 0:28:58.720 --> 0:29:01.520 in a tobat never sing again, and I felt hopeless. 0:29:01.640 --> 0:29:04.040 But you know what this ministry teaches us that we're 0:29:04.040 --> 0:29:06.920 never victims, but we are always victors, and that is 0:29:06.960 --> 0:29:08.760 what gave me the hope and the faith to be 0:29:08.760 --> 0:29:15.320 able to press on God. I have that surgery, but 0:29:15.480 --> 0:29:18.440 now I'm singing like I could before, and my life 0:29:18.440 --> 0:29:19.440 has never been the same. 0:29:19.960 --> 0:29:23.240 Your support is changing lives. Thank you so much for 0:29:23.320 --> 0:29:26.600 your prayer and your generosity. If you'd like to partner 0:29:26.640 --> 0:29:28.680 with us to take hope around the world, we'd love 0:29:28.680 --> 0:29:30.560 to have you do it. Go to the website and 0:29:30.560 --> 0:29:32.560 find out how Victory and I. 0:29:32.480 --> 0:29:34.480 Pray for you and your family. Every day. 0:29:34.840 --> 0:29:37.480 Twenty seventeen is going to be a blessed fear for you. 0:29:37.800 --> 0:29:41.640 Keep believing, keep expecting. We just declare right now you're 0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:43.760 going to have a blessed, prosperous week. 0:29:43.960 --> 0:29:47.000 We loved you very much. Until next time. God bless you. 0:29:51.240 --> 0:29:55.840 Nice buns, soft, fluffy and ultralow net carbs. Discover hero 0:29:56.000 --> 0:29:59.640 Bread the delicious ultralow net carbbread with incredible taste in 0:29:59.720 --> 0:30:02.480 text sure. 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