Conversation with Joel & Victoria: Peaceful on Purpose Part 1

0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:03.040 Are you ready to move your career forward? Make your 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:06.520 comeback with Perdue Global and get college credit for your work, school, life, 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:09.760 or military experiences. With these credits, you may have already 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:12.560 completed up to seventy five percent of your undergraduate degree. 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:14.720 You've worked hard to get where you are. It's time 0:00:14.720 --> 0:00:16.880 to get the recognition you deserve and earn a degree 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:19.520 you'll be proud of, one that employers will trust and 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:21.799 respect when you take the next step in your life 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:25.480 and career. Make account with Purdue Global produce online university 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:29.600 for working adults. Start your comeback at Purdueglobal dot edu. 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:32.120 He'll forget about the video game you gave him on 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:32.680 his birthday. 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.360 Wow, Thanks Grandpa. 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:36.680 But he'll never forget how you invest it in his 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:38.080 future with the uns stapp. 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:40.640 Wow, Thanks Grandpa. 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:43.479 The units stap makes it easy for grandparents and family 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:46.199 friends to give funds to a child's investment account for 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:48.880 limited time. Download the uns stapp and use the code 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:51.280 iHeart fifty at sign up to receive a fifty dollars 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:53.960 bonus when you fund your account. That's code iheard fifty 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:57.160 When you sign up at unest dot co for fifty 0:00:57.200 --> 0:00:59.880 dollars bonus see terms and conditions at UNS dot C. 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:03.560 No one likes to talk about money. Am I saving enough? 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:05.720 Can I buy a house? Am I paying too much 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:08.440 in taxes? Will I be able to retire? What if 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:11.039 you could unlock insights about your finances in less than 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:13.520 five minutes, with a clear picture of where you stand 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:16.360 today and where your money can work harder. Now you 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:19.440 can visit facet dot com to take the free quiz 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:24.080 and get your financial wellness score today. That's Facet dot com. 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:26.039 This ad a sponsored by Facet Facet Wealth in Corporated. 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:27.880 It is an SEC registered investment advisor. This is not 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:29.759 an offer to buy your self security snor is it investment, 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:30.760 legal or tax advice. 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:32.640 Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:35.720 Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:36.440 the ministry. 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.920 If you enjoy today's message, why don't you be a 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:40.479 blessing and share it with a friend. 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:43.520 We appreciate you and pray for God's very best in 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:44.400 your life. 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:48.720 Welcome to this live virtual event hosted by Books a Million. 0:01:48.800 --> 0:01:52.120 I'm here with Joel and Victoria Ostein, and we're going 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:55.840 to have a conversation today about first and foremost. Joel's 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:59.960 new book, Peaceful on Purpose that released today. We're also 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:04.880 to have a conversation as well about family, life, relationships, ministry, 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:09.320 and so much more. Well, Joel new book released today. 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:11.520 Thoughts how you're feeling about it. 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:14.560 Very excited, always excited to put out a new book. 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:15.560 And thank you guys. 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.920 For being with us today. Thanks for buying my books, 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:21.400 and we just speak blessings over you. We'll take the 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:23.240 next hour if you have some time to just like 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:26.920 Nick said, talk about life and family and maybe answer 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:29.960 some questions. I was telling them guys earlier. Y'all hear 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:32.520 me speak all the time. I'd rather maybe talk about 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.560 some you know, personal things, maybe a little bit different 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:38.560 than a normal teaching, but just believe you know Nick 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:41.680 the book. You know, there's a lot in life that 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:43.880 can weigh us down these days. And I don't have 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:46.079 to tell you, but with the pandemic and just life 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:49.320 in general, there can be stress and worry and always 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:50.240 something going on. 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:53.000 I believe if you're going to stay peaceful, you have 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:54.720 to do it on purpose. In other words, you have 0:02:54.760 --> 0:02:55.680 to make a decision. 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.400 And my thought I use the analogy in the book, 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:01.600 like in your car you have a spare tire. You're 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.280 not planning on having a flat, but just in case 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:06.839 something happens, you hit a pothole or something doesn't go right, 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:07.320 you have. 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:07.960 That spare tire. 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:11.360 You've made provision and think in case something happens. I 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:14.040 think it's the same way with peace plan. We get 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:15.919 up in the morning, let's plan to have a good day, 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:19.160 plan on great things happening. But I think at the 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.600 same time we should make the decision no matter what 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:24.280 comes my way today, I will stay in peace because 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:26.200 you know, we may go out it's expecting to have 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:28.240 a good day, and you know what, somebody's rude to us, 0:03:28.320 --> 0:03:32.160 or our plans don't work out, we go through some delays. Well, 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:35.000 if you're not prepared, if you hadn't made that provision, 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:37.520 it's easy to get stressed and oh man, I can't 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:40.080 believe this didn't work out. But you know when you've 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:42.720 already made that decision. And I believe Nick, the reason 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.440 we could make that decision is because we know. 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:46.400 God's in control. 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.200 The scripture says our steps are ordered by the Lord. 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:51.880 So I like to remind myself in the good times 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:54.480 and in the tough times, God still ordered my steps. 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:57.600 He's still in control. Nothing that happens to us as 0:03:57.640 --> 0:04:00.760 a surprise to God. So I just bel that life 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.640 is too short to live it upset and worried. 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:05.160 Once we live this day. 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.040 May eighteenth, twenty twenty one, we can never get it back. 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:10.600 And that doesn't mean we don't have difficulties. I know 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:13.240 we all do, but I believe that's what faith is 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:17.640 all about. Hey, I should be worried, upset, you know, frustrated, 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:19.200 But you know what, I'm at peace God. 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:20.480 I know you're on the throne. 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:22.839 When you do that, you can go be good to somebody. 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:25.520 You can have a song of praise instead of complaining, 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:28.320 you can have a smile and instead of being depressed. 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:30.960 So I hope you'll make the decision. You know that 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:33.120 you're going to choose to stay in peace, that you're 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.320 going to know that God's in control, that you're going 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:36.239 to do it on purpose. 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:37.280 That's awesome. 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:41.880 As you guys know, you can submit questions throughout this conversation, 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:45.560 personal questions, leadership, ministry questions, any questions you would like. 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.960 I know we already have questions coming in a lot 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:52.960 of questions that we've gathered Joel and Victoria. There's a 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:57.080 question here about just a person who's young, who's facing 0:04:57.120 --> 0:05:00.240 anxiety and facing fear with everything going on, going through 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:04.719 the pandemic. Any advice specifically that you would give to 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:08.000 a young person who's maybe overwhelmed with anxiety right now 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:10.880 trying to discover peace. I know you mentioned it broadly, 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:13.480 but any specific tips as it relates to someone who's young. 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:17.280 Well, you know, it's interesting because this is such a 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:20.880 pandemic with the young people. I was just praying with 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:25.159 one young person today and they were very pressured into 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:29.760 achieving and they felt like they really I think deep 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:33.680 down they didn't feel prepared for their opportunity, and so 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:38.720 you could see the anxiety of trying to just measure 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:41.400 up to these demands in their life. And I think 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.760 that for a young person it can be overwhelming, especially 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:48.400 with social media, especially with the expectation put on them. 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:50.680 So what I just said was, you know what, let's 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:51.720 just pray. 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:56.360 Let's pray, because really that is our best weapon, is prayer. 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:59.000 And it was interesting because by the end of the prayer, 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.280 I could see is just relief come on on this 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:05.640 young girl, and she was just like, Okay, you know, 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:09.000 I had just a better perspective. And my prayer was 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.040 simply that you know, she could rest in what God 0:06:12.080 --> 0:06:14.679 had given her and that she do just has gifts 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:18.560 and talents, and that God knows how she is made, 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:22.440 and you know he will work with her personality, but 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:25.520 he's gonna help her rest in who she is. 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:28.520 And just you know, some simple prayer like that. And 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.960 it was just amazing the demeanor on her face. She 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:32.960 just felt so much. 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:37.640 I could just feel her relaxing and just being able to. 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:38.240 Take it all in. 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:40.960 So, you know, these young people they need support, they 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:44.960 need our support. They look at what's going on, and 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:49.600 the pressures the social media gives is just really really ridiculous, 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:51.600 you know, the pressure you can put on yourself in 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:55.760 comparison and trying to measure up to all these things 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.760 that are not really they're not real. You know, I've 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:02.720 noticed about social media most things are filtered, you know, 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:04.840 And I'm like, you can see at the top the 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:08.000 filter usually they use if they're you know, on it, 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:12.960 and I'm just like, everything is filtered, everything has its 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:14.320 best face forward. 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:15.200 You know. 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:17.880 The thing about it is you don't need any filters 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:19.080 with God. God. 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:22.160 God doesn't need you to put on a filter, a facade, 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:26.040 a fake face. He wants you just the way you are. 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:28.840 He wants you to come to him with your problems, 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:30.120 with your disappointments. 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:31.160 He wants you to. 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:34.320 Find hope in him and trust in him. But that's 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.000 what I love about God. When you have a relationship 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:39.400 with him, you can talk to him about the things 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:42.240 that are bothering you. But there's one key to that, 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:45.080 and that is you have to believe that he's listening. 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:47.480 You have to believe that he cares, and you have 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:48.240 to believe that he. 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:49.000 Wants to help you. 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:51.760 And if you can put that belief system in place, 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:54.520 and then you can have a conversation with God. 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:57.120 I believe that it will help in these. 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:01.679 Trying times of pressure and anxiety that young people are facing, 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.400 but also all of us are facing. 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:06.680 You know, I think Nick too, and adding to what 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:10.480 Victoria's saying, for a young person or a person that's anyone, 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.560 and it's this principle that what belongs to you is 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:16.280 going to come to you. You know, sometimes I think, 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:18.920 you know, whether we're young or old, you think, oh man, 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:22.280 you know what, I missed my chance? Or somebody married 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:24.560 the guy I wanted to marry, somebody got the promotion 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:27.200 that I wanted, but somebody bought that house that I 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:28.040 thought should. 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:28.320 Have been mine. 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:29.800 But you have to come back to this. 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.720 You keep honoring God with your life, and what belongs 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:35.520 to you won't go to anybody else. At the right time, 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:37.960 God will bring it into your life. So I just 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:41.280 encourage it to you know, not have to live frustrated and. 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:42.720 Wondering when it's going to happen. 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:45.040 Just stay in that place of peace, knowing that God's 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:47.839 going to bring the right people, the right opportunities. 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:50.640 He's going to cause solutions to problems. 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:53.400 May not happen on our timetable, but you know, I 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:54.360 go back to that key. 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:55.880 You know, Nick, from the time. 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:57.559 I was a little boy, I always taught to honor 0:08:57.600 --> 0:08:59.560 God with my life and are not perfect. It doesn't 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:02.080 mean you don't mistakes, but you have that desire to 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.920 please God. You keep in first place. And I saw 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:07.920 God brought this building to us. We tried to get 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:10.199 other property to build something on, but you know what 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:13.200 this building was, you know was destined to be ours. 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:16.440 There are things that God is already destined to be ours, 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:19.000 to be yours. I call them those marked moments. So 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:21.000 you know, as a young person, you know what am 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:22.280 I going to do with my future? I got to 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:24.000 keep up over here, I got to do this well, 0:09:24.000 --> 0:09:25.720 you know what, the right doors are going to open. 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:27.559 And I would encourage you to be your. 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:30.240 Best right where you are while you're waiting maybe for 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:33.320 God to change something. Why maybe you're you're waiting for 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:36.880 a bigger position, you're waiting for a scholarship to come through. 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:39.080 Be your best right where you are. You know, I 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:39.920 think that's a key. 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:42.560 If you'll prove to God that you will be faithful 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:44.920 where you are, then I believe God can open up 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:45.559 new doors. 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:47.680 I think the mistake we make. 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:49.200 Sometimes is, you know what, this is not where I 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:50.840 want to be, So I'm gonna slack off or i 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:52.640 want to be depressed. I'm not going to be my best. 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.480 But you know what, you got to say God, this 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:55.120 is where you have. 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:55.760 Me right now. 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:57.440 May not be where I want to be, but I 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.679 want to be my best. I won't be good to somebody. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.240 Think about a story nick who was that I don't know, 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:06.000 well you would know the name anyway, Somebody told me 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:09.040 they got laid off and it was a he had 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.240 a good position and it was not fair. But they 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:14.280 didn't sit around at home. They came up to the 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:17.360 church and volunteered, like for month and month. Now they 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:20.520 go on job interviews and do everything they could, but 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:23.280 instead of sitting at home being depressed, they'd come up 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:26.520 and volunteer and answer the phone for us, pray for people, 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:29.080 and just do random things. And I thought that was 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:31.280 that was a great seed that they were so and 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.360 eventually a great door opened up, something better than he 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:36.840 ever imagined. But I went back to think, I wonder 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:38.840 if that would have happened if he had not, if 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:39.880 he had just been. 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:42.800 Depressed and bitter where he was. I think he made 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:43.200 the choice. 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:44.800 You know what, I almost shine right where I am, 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:48.199 and I think about it. Says our steps are ordered 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:49.760 by the Lord that tells. 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:50.080 Me where we are. 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:51.880 We're at the where, at the right place. 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.040 It may be a difficult time, but if you know 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.319 that God's ordered your steps, that means He's going to 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.040 bring good out of it. It's a step on the 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:01.480 way to your destiny. And I used Joseph a lot 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:03.760 in the scriptures, but he went through one bad break 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:07.240 after another, but when you step back, it always leading 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:09.280 him to where God was taking him, but yet they 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:11.880 were difficult times. So you know, if you're in a 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:15.000 difficult time, a door's not opening, or you know, maybe 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.000 you just don't feel like you got more in you, 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:18.080 but you feel kind of stuck. 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:19.720 Keep in your best where you are. 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.440 You've got some marked moments where God's going to open 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:26.160 some doors because you've stayed faithful, you've kept honoring him. 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:28.640 He's going to bring the right to your things to 0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:29.280 you as well. 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:31.360 That's so good because sometimes we can get so caught 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:34.680 up in our performance. You know that we have to perform, 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:38.400 we have to perform perfectly, and that perfection when we 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:41.640 forget to do our best, like Joel's saying, and rely 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:44.400 on God to do what we can't do. And I 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.400 think that takes the pressure off. It's just like Joel said, 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:49.920 be your best and don't feel like you have to 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.840 perform to make things happen. But God's got the plan 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:53.719 that's unfolding. 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.200 So that's so good. You know that already makes me 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:58.680 feel relaxed again. 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:03.080 We're talking about Joel's new book, Peaceful on Purpose. Another 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:06.280 question that has come in and it kind of relates to, 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.839 you know, the young generation, But what are some things 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:13.480 that you guys do as parents to spiritually invest into 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:16.440 your family. A lot of questions from parents moms asking 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.920 what can we do to help guide our kids in 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:22.560 the right direction. Any practical things or things that you 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:23.080 guys do. 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:25.240 Well, one thing in Victor, you speak to this, but 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:29.400 one thing is we Nick, we try to model the 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:30.920 way we want our children to live. 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:32.800 And again we're not perfect. 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:34.400 But I think, you. 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:35.960 Know, one of the things you can do is be 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:36.480 a good. 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:40.440 Example, be loving, be kind, be respectful. I think that's 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:42.720 a that's a big part of it. I guess just 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:45.679 when I think about growing up, my parents never made 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:47.839 us come to church, but we always wanted to come 0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:49.959 to church because that's where our friends were and that's 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.280 where we had fun. We learned about God, but we 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:53.160 had fun as well. 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:57.199 So I saw my parents. They were the same on. 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.720 The pulpit in front of people as they were at home. 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.319 And I saw my parents, you know, in the morning, 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:04.920 reading their Bible and taking time for God, treating people right, 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:05.760 you know, you. 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:07.520 Know, both of them. But I remember my dad. It 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.920 didn't matter who you were. He he loved everybody. He 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:10.720 was for everybody. 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.040 Well, that made a big impression on me to you know, 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:16.440 how I lived my life. So I think a lot 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.800 of it is by example, and you know, I think 0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:21.480 that's that's a big, big. 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:21.640 Part of it. 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:23.840 Of course, you you know, you speak faith into your 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:26.840 children as well, but leading by example is one thing. 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:30.680 Yeah, you know that old saying more is caught than taught. 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:34.240 You know, they're like video recorders on legs, so they're 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.640 taking everything in and they're so smart they know when 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:41.520 there's when you're acting one way at home preaching something 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:43.640 else to them. But I think one of the things 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:47.280 that I feel like that I was able to accomplish 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:50.800 with my children was early, early on, I communicated with them. 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:54.240 And it started even as simple as reading books together 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:58.360 and just when they were little, you know, reading books 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:00.679 like at night time or when you know, during the 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:02.320 day when there was some time. 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.160 And it's just like an open dialogue because it's not 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:06.520 just about reading a book, but it's. 0:14:06.400 --> 0:14:09.599 About talking about the book, talking about the animals in 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.640 the book. And so it's it's like you keep this 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:16.800 dialogue going with your children. And I think that when 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:19.600 they're older and then you have to say some things 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:24.560 that are like guidance their parental things they're not like, 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:25.840 where did you come from? 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:28.160 You know, you haven't talked to me up to this point. 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:29.960 Now you're telling you what to do, you know. 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:33.920 I think that's super important because when they're sixteen going 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:35.680 out on their first date, that's not when you start 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:37.880 telling them all they're what they should be doing. You've 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:42.160 already planted in them a good foundation. And so even 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:43.960 to this day, I have a twenty two year old 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:47.160 and a twenty six year old, and I can talk 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:50.400 to them. I'm learning that I can't talk to them 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:52.560 the same way I did when they were ten. I 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:55.720 talked to them as an adult. Now I phrase my 0:14:56.120 --> 0:15:00.760 questions differently. So I'm very aware of how I talk 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.040 to them because I want to keep those lines of 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:08.640 communication open. So I tried to take their cues and learn. 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:11.720 I just really try to learn. I think I try 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:14.120 to learn still with Joel, how to talk to him. 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:17.080 I know when he's feels a lot of pressure. I 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:20.560 know when he doesn't want to talk. I'll never forget 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:25.640 when he first started ministering his father past and before that, 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.840 it was like a different world. We could just do 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.800 and go and we had a lot of responsibility. But 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:35.280 it wasn't the same, and I'll never forget he. It 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:37.920 was one Thursday afternoon and he was at home and 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:40.040 he was having lunch and he was studying, and so 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:41.760 I was like, Oh, he's having lunch. 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:43.240 I'm going to go have lunch with him. 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:45.840 So I got some lunch and I sat down with him, 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:47.720 and I'm trying to talk to him, and he's not 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:48.480 saying anything. 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:51.000 And I keep trying to talk to him. 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.760 And he's just nodding, and I'm like, Wow, he's so rude, 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:57.440 you know, because he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:02.440 I realized, you know, that was like starting this new 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:05.160 pattern in our life. I realized he's took on a 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:08.320 responsibility that was taking a ton of his time and 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:11.240 a ton of his energy. Then I started studying his 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:15.280 patterns and how Thursday was a very important day for him. 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.880 He would start writing his message on Thursday and he 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:19.080 wanted to stay focused. 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:25.080 So I really adapted to that pattern and I studied him. 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:27.880 That's basically what I did, and I adapted, and I 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.040 really think that that helped our relationship. 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.760 I think it helped our transition a lot. And I 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:35.080 think that's just what we have to do. 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:37.280 If we want to have good relationships with each other, 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.560 we have to be mindful of the other person, and 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:43.800 not just what we want to say or what we 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:45.920 want them to say to us, but really mindful. And 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.520 I think when you do that, you can open lines 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:52.720 of communication to your husband, your boss, your friends, your children. 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:55.840 You know, just to be aware, self aware of how 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:58.600 you're saying things and how you're doing things, because really, 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:01.200 you can have all the money world, you can have 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:03.720 all the opportunity in the world, but if you don't 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:07.680 have good relationships, you really have nothing, because that's the 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:11.720 richness of life. So it's really worth it's worth developing 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:13.160 your communication skills. 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:13.560 I think. 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:17.040 Yeah, another thing we started doing Victoria got me to 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.879 do it that it's praying for our children at different 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:22.200 times of day, and so on our phone, we set 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:25.840 an alarm at ten and at five ten am, at 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:28.440 five pm ten am to pray for Jonathan, a five 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:31.080 pm to pray for Alexander. So you know, the alarm 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:33.520 goes off and it may take ten seconds, but you 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:36.359 know what, I know, wherever Victoria is in this world, 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:38.359 that she's going to take a minute and we're going 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:39.080 to pray together. 0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:39.840 We're in agree. 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:42.560 And you know, the scripture talks about when you know, 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.199 when you're in agreement, it's you. You know, one can 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:47.040 chage a thousand and two can put ten thousand flight. 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:49.000 I like to say, when you're in agreement, you're ten 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:50.000 times more powerful. 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.120 So how do these just little things like that too? 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:55.000 Now? Granted, our children a little older, but you know, 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:56.720 I think you never stopped praying for that. 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:59.800 What's so funny is sometimes I won't always have them 0:17:59.800 --> 0:18:03.600 off in my hand. And so now Alexandra, who who 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.480 just graduated from college and she lives with us, She's like, 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.080 there's your phone, Mom, it's five o'clock. That's what you're 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:11.200 supposed to You're supposed to be praying for me. So 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:14.560 she knows, and I would think that's a good feeling. 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:17.159 I mean, she knows that her mom and dad are 0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:20.240 praying for her. Her my son knows that we pray 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:23.840 for them. In fact, when we're talking and discussing, I'll 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:25.840 just say, hey, let's just take a second to pray, 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:28.360 you know, and my children will pray. 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:31.560 They've always prayed. I remember that. Sometimes I can feel 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:34.159 my son kind of lean into that prayer, you know, 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.680 So it becomes just something that you do. It's what 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:38.879 they're accustomed to. 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:42.400 And then when they get older, I believe that they're 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:44.760 going to pray with their children and with their spouses 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:48.480 and pray for themselves in these difficult times because Lord 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:50.680 knows we need him, we need to pray. 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:52.320 So that's fantastic. 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:57.000 There's there's a chapter in here about not trying to 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.879 control everything. Yeah, and there's even been a lot of 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:03.720 questions that have come in from people about just not 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:07.400 trying really hard not to control, letting go of things 0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:09.200 that have happened in the past, or letting go of 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:12.919 frustrations that they're working through. Unpack that a little bit 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:14.000 for people who are watching. 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:15.040 Yeah, the power of that. 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:17.920 Yeah, I think so, Niked. It's an important principle to 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.360 stay in peace. I think a lot of times we're 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:23.920 frustrated because we're trying to control things that we can't control. 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:26.680 I mean, we can't make other people do what's right. 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:29.960 You can't make the traffic be right or make the 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.120 medical report turn around. We can do what we can, 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:35.840 but where it gets frustrating is, you know what, it's 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:38.640 not changing like we want, or somebody's not changing as 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:40.680 fast as we like, and there's why we get frustrated. 0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:42.480 Well, you have to take your hands off of it. 0:19:42.880 --> 0:19:45.919 Control what you can, your attitude, what you think, how 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:48.200 you treat people, and then tho's other things you have 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:49.160 to release control. 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:51.560 That's what faith is all about. God. 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:55.000 I'm praying, I'm believing, But this boss isn't changing, or 0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:56.520 my child isn't changing. 0:19:56.440 --> 0:19:59.160 Or the medical report. But you know what, I can't 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:01.600 control that. Lord, I know you're on the throne. I 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:02.680 know you're in control. 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:05.440 I think a lot of our frustrations would go away 0:20:05.560 --> 0:20:08.040 if we'd we'd turn those things over to God, not 0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:11.160 try to control things that we can't control. Because Nick, 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:13.440 if we don't learn this, you can go twenty or 0:20:13.480 --> 0:20:16.679 thirty years letting somebody at work get on your nerves. 0:20:17.040 --> 0:20:18.439 You know you can't make them do what's right. 0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:21.320 You know you can't, you know, or letting the traffic 0:20:21.480 --> 0:20:25.080 or just just certain situations. So I just the older 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:27.320 I get, the more I realize life is too short 0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:31.360 to live negative, discourage, worried, And if we will turn 0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:33.840 these things over, I call it release in control. 0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:35.040 Do what you can. 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:37.719 You know, I'm not saying the scripture says cast your 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.840 cares on the Lord. It doesn't say cast your responsibilities, 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:43.159 do what you can. But there are certain things we 0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:45.720 have no control over. You got to let that go 0:20:45.800 --> 0:20:47.760 where they're gonna it's gonna steal your joy for the 0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:52.119 next many many years. See, sometimes Nick, we're trying to 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:56.159 change people, but only God can. And I think what 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:59.280 we have to do is recognizing I don't want to 0:20:59.280 --> 0:21:02.000 say this in negative way, but that person may not change. 0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:04.359 But you know what I can change my approach. I 0:21:04.400 --> 0:21:06.760 don't have to let them steal my joy anymore. I 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:09.600 don't have to give away my power if somebody, you know, 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:12.600 somebody's you know, I just say, getting on my nerves 0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:15.200 at work. You know, when you let them, you know, 0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:18.119 take your joy, you're giving them your power. So I 0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:20.760 like to you know, things that I can't change or 0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:24.240 may be tempting to frustrate me, I like to say, Okay, God, 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:26.359 how can I change? I'm not going to let that 0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:30.960 frustrate me anymore. And really, sometimes God allows these things. 0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:32.959 I don't think he'll you know, he doesn't send all 0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:35.359 the bad things, but he'll allow things so that we 0:21:35.480 --> 0:21:38.239 can grow. And as you pass that test, and all 0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:40.040 of a sudden, the same thing that used to bother you, 0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:41.320 doesn't bother you anymore. 0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:44.080 Where you're coming up higher, You're getting ready to go 0:21:44.200 --> 0:21:44.880 to a new level. 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:47.920 God's getting you prepared so you can handle more influence 0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:50.560 and more favor. So I like to see those things 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:53.239 as tests that we have to pass. You know, if 0:21:53.320 --> 0:21:55.680 something's not changing, I can't control it. 0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:56.520 Even when we. 0:21:56.600 --> 0:21:58.800 Tried to buy that property to build to build a 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:01.560 new facility. On twice we tried to buy it sold 0:22:01.600 --> 0:22:03.880 out from under us. There wasn't any more property. 0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:05.800 You know. I finally came to the place. 0:22:05.640 --> 0:22:08.120 That God, if you want us to have a new auditorium, 0:22:08.440 --> 0:22:11.280 I know you'll work it out. But these doors have closed. 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:13.840 These people didn't do us right. They sold property out 0:22:13.880 --> 0:22:15.960 from under us. But I did what I can. But 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:18.600 I'm gonna I'm gonna release control and just think you 0:22:18.640 --> 0:22:19.760 that you have the right place. 0:22:20.160 --> 0:22:22.399 So I try to I try to teach you what 0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:23.320 I've learned. 0:22:23.359 --> 0:22:25.360 But the point is is I could have been frustrated 0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:27.400 and bitter and discouraged. 0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:29.240 Because you know, we couldn't buy that property that I 0:22:29.320 --> 0:22:31.800 wanted to build a new auditorium, never dreaming that God 0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:32.159 had this. 0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:34.960 So you pass some tests and who knows what. 0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:38.360 God will bring you into, so you know, release control 0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:41.200 of the things that you have no control over, even 0:22:41.680 --> 0:22:45.120 in a medical situation. I believe in you know, getting well, 0:22:45.240 --> 0:22:48.320 that's God's destiny for your life. But you do what 0:22:48.440 --> 0:22:50.720 you can and then you say, okay, God, I'm gonna 0:22:50.720 --> 0:22:53.320 do all my part. Now I'm just gonna rest in you. 0:22:54.200 --> 0:22:56.080 In other words, Nick, I don't think we're supposed to 0:22:56.160 --> 0:22:56.560 live in a. 0:22:56.600 --> 0:22:57.760 Fight mode all the time. 0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:01.400 Otherwise, you know what we're we're upset because this person 0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:03.480 at work and we're believing for our health to turn. 0:23:03.960 --> 0:23:07.040 Then it's always this stress on the inside. I like 0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:09.720 to say that when you rest, God goes to work. 0:23:10.280 --> 0:23:13.199 When you work, then God rest. So you take your 0:23:13.240 --> 0:23:15.119 hands off and do what you can. But what you 0:23:15.160 --> 0:23:17.560 can't control, God, you're in control. I want to enjoy 0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:20.600 this day. Won't be good to others, And as you 0:23:20.720 --> 0:23:22.280 do that, I believe you know, it's one of the 0:23:22.320 --> 0:23:25.280 steps to stay peaceful on purpose because you know, again, 0:23:25.520 --> 0:23:25.960 we want. 0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:26.840 You to enjoy your life. 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:29.159 We want you to not just endure it, but just 0:23:29.280 --> 0:23:32.280 to have a peace even in the midst of the storms. 0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:35.840 You know, talking about control, I was thinking about how 0:23:35.920 --> 0:23:40.119 sometimes we want someone to make us happy, you know, 0:23:40.400 --> 0:23:44.040 and so with this person's not making me happy, I'm frustrated. 0:23:44.200 --> 0:23:47.000 I wish and talk a little bit about that because 0:23:47.160 --> 0:23:49.919 we know that, you know, people can't make you happy. 0:23:50.400 --> 0:23:53.000 You've got to depend on God to make you happy. 0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:55.960 And so a lot of times that's where we find 0:23:56.000 --> 0:23:58.040 a lot of frustration and we lose our peace, we 0:23:58.160 --> 0:24:01.359 lose our joy because someone's no performing the way we 0:24:01.480 --> 0:24:04.240 think they should. And so, you know, I know that 0:24:04.359 --> 0:24:07.040 even in my marriage, I realize that Joel can't keep 0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:10.119 me happy. I have to have a joy on the 0:24:10.240 --> 0:24:13.000 inside of me. I have to have I'm a responsible 0:24:13.480 --> 0:24:17.440 to keep myself happy. I'm responsible to keep myself motivated. 0:24:17.520 --> 0:24:22.159 I'm responsible to, you know, keep moving forward because you know, 0:24:22.600 --> 0:24:25.680 especially in a marriage, relationships, or even children, sometimes people 0:24:25.720 --> 0:24:28.480 want their children to keep them happy, fulfill them. But 0:24:28.960 --> 0:24:31.359 you just you can't depend on people to do that. 0:24:31.520 --> 0:24:33.119 You've got to find that in God. You got to 0:24:33.160 --> 0:24:35.320 find that in his word. You got to tap into 0:24:35.400 --> 0:24:38.439 your gifts and your talents. Stir up that joy, because 0:24:38.720 --> 0:24:41.320 the Bible talks about that. You've been you know, God 0:24:41.680 --> 0:24:44.320 has given you joy on the inside, but sometimes we 0:24:44.440 --> 0:24:47.440 let it get so buried that we can't find it, 0:24:47.560 --> 0:24:50.600 and that joy is our strength, it's our inspiration, it's 0:24:50.680 --> 0:24:54.160 our vision. So I think that sometimes I've seen people 0:24:54.200 --> 0:24:55.639 and I've seen it happen, and I could feel it 0:24:55.680 --> 0:24:57.920 happened to myself, you know, I was like, Joel, well, 0:24:58.080 --> 0:24:59.560 you know, I want to do this, or I want 0:24:59.560 --> 0:25:01.200 to do that, or you should be telling me this 0:25:01.480 --> 0:25:04.159 or you know, nobody can keep up with that all 0:25:04.200 --> 0:25:06.879 the time. So I think that's another thing that you 0:25:07.000 --> 0:25:10.480 talk about in this book. You know, you just can't 0:25:10.600 --> 0:25:12.840 have you can't depend on other people to keep you happy. 0:25:13.119 --> 0:25:15.280 You said, it's a good bit dry. Is any better 0:25:15.359 --> 0:25:16.520 than that? It's really this. 0:25:17.080 --> 0:25:19.680 We are responsible for our own happiness. And I think 0:25:20.000 --> 0:25:22.080 what she said, if you're relying on somebody else, you're 0:25:22.080 --> 0:25:24.920 going to be frustrated. You know, take the pressure off 0:25:24.960 --> 0:25:27.560 that other person, because that's very you know, you know, 0:25:27.600 --> 0:25:30.119 it's going to say, very unfair, that's very difficult. Nobody 0:25:30.160 --> 0:25:33.040 can keep you happy. You come back and you get 0:25:33.119 --> 0:25:35.480 the happiness on the inside, the joy, get at peace 0:25:35.560 --> 0:25:39.320 with yourself, and release that other person, take the pressure 0:25:39.320 --> 0:25:41.280 off of them, and you know you're going to live 0:25:41.320 --> 0:25:44.200 your life more free and you're going to have better relationships. 0:25:44.640 --> 0:25:45.000 Awesome. 0:25:45.119 --> 0:25:50.200 Again, we are talking about Joel's new book, Peaceful on Purpose. Well, 0:25:50.240 --> 0:25:53.000 a lot of questions are coming in about your personal life. 0:25:54.440 --> 0:25:58.280 Maybe there's some things about each other that the public 0:25:58.359 --> 0:26:02.720 doesn't know, maybe some personal core, personal habits, funny stories. 0:26:03.200 --> 0:26:06.000 Does anything come to mind, Victoria? Maybe one thing that 0:26:07.040 --> 0:26:09.679 that maybe everyone may not know about Joel that. 0:26:11.320 --> 0:26:13.480 Yeah, Well, I always like to say this because when 0:26:13.480 --> 0:26:16.920 you look at Joel, he looks so fit, he looks like, 0:26:17.160 --> 0:26:18.240 you know, he's so nice. 0:26:18.440 --> 0:26:24.439 He's You're right, You're absolutely right. He's very. 0:26:26.000 --> 0:26:26.400 Children. 0:26:27.160 --> 0:26:29.160 But you wouldn't believe this about him. 0:26:29.720 --> 0:26:34.240 He eats a Sprinkles cupcake almost every single night before 0:26:34.280 --> 0:26:37.920 he goes to bed, a chocolate cupcake, Sprinkles, Sprinkles, dark 0:26:38.040 --> 0:26:38.840 chocolate cupcake. 0:26:38.880 --> 0:26:39.440 But he's done it. 0:26:39.600 --> 0:26:42.720 We've been married thirty four years and he's always eaten 0:26:42.880 --> 0:26:45.920 a dessert before he goes to bed. It's almost like 0:26:46.040 --> 0:26:48.840 it just kind of tells him it's a bedtime. I 0:26:48.880 --> 0:26:50.479 don't know, you'll have to talk about him. 0:26:50.480 --> 0:26:51.040 It's good too. 0:26:51.240 --> 0:26:53.920 But I used to make I used to I used 0:26:53.960 --> 0:26:57.480 to make a chocolate cake every week because he would 0:26:57.560 --> 0:26:59.360 just like to eat on that all through the week. 0:26:59.520 --> 0:27:01.119 But that's that's one thing that people don't know. 0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:06.760 He loves chocolate cake or chocolate cupcakes or something chocolate 0:27:06.920 --> 0:27:09.840 at night, but he is kind of picky about his chocolate. 0:27:09.920 --> 0:27:12.000 It's got to be just the right texture. You got 0:27:12.080 --> 0:27:14.080 to be just the right amount, it's got to be 0:27:14.400 --> 0:27:16.560 just the right this do you want to describe? Do 0:27:16.680 --> 0:27:17.639 you want to talk about you? 0:27:19.840 --> 0:27:23.560 I don't have this show. I don't have any good comments. 0:27:23.560 --> 0:27:27.520 Also, Joel is extremely which this may not be surprising, 0:27:28.040 --> 0:27:33.360 extremely focused and very very disciplined. And I think that's 0:27:33.520 --> 0:27:36.040 kind of why I even brought up that you can't 0:27:36.680 --> 0:27:39.000 get some you know, put the pressure on someone to 0:27:39.080 --> 0:27:41.520 make you happy, because early on in our marriage he's 0:27:41.560 --> 0:27:45.920 always been very focused, very disciplined, almost like works off lists, 0:27:47.720 --> 0:27:50.560 and so you know, he's busy all the time, and 0:27:50.720 --> 0:27:54.440 so you learn, you have to learn that, you know what, 0:27:54.880 --> 0:27:57.040 Let him do his thing. Let him that's where he 0:27:57.160 --> 0:28:00.800 functions the best. But that's one thing about that's he's 0:28:01.200 --> 0:28:04.480 very focused, very disciplined. He probably can get more done 0:28:04.520 --> 0:28:06.680 than most people. 0:28:06.720 --> 0:28:08.440 Will add that he's pretty competitive. 0:28:10.640 --> 0:28:12.680 We're roasting him. We're roasting him. 0:28:12.680 --> 0:28:15.120 So we have to tell this, so we play. 0:28:15.520 --> 0:28:19.320 We played tennis off and and we've played fifty games 0:28:19.760 --> 0:28:23.359 of tennis together, and I'm kind of learning to play tennis. 0:28:23.560 --> 0:28:26.800 He's actually got me pretty passionate about it. And when 0:28:26.880 --> 0:28:31.240 we've when we've played, it gets competitive. And I asked 0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:34.159 him to sign a book for me recently, and he 0:28:34.240 --> 0:28:35.639 gave me the copy of the book. And when I 0:28:35.720 --> 0:28:38.440 opened the book, in the book with a sheet of 0:28:38.520 --> 0:28:42.280 paper and it said thirty to twenty with about six 0:28:42.760 --> 0:28:46.440 exclamation points after that's the score. So he's up ten 0:28:46.680 --> 0:28:49.040 ten games on me. But he wanted to remind me 0:28:49.600 --> 0:28:52.800 as well as encouraged me. At the same time, I 0:28:52.960 --> 0:28:55.680 was still ten games behind him that he had that 0:28:55.840 --> 0:28:56.200 he had. 0:28:57.840 --> 0:29:00.560 A great athlete football. I did all this stuff. 0:29:00.600 --> 0:29:03.160 So I've found the sport where he's the worst death 0:29:03.480 --> 0:29:04.720 because otherwise he'd killed me. 0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:07.400 And quick to remind me that he is up ten games. 0:29:07.680 --> 0:29:08.920 What about What about Victoria? 0:29:09.000 --> 0:29:12.320 Anything about her that maybe some people may not know. 0:29:12.520 --> 0:29:15.720 Oh well, they've probably well a lot of things. 0:29:16.040 --> 0:29:16.760 Where do I start? 0:29:17.160 --> 0:29:19.520 Victoria loves to laugh, and I think that's what it's 0:29:19.560 --> 0:29:23.120 a great characteristic is She's she laughs. I hear laughter 0:29:23.280 --> 0:29:25.360 going through the house all the time. And I think 0:29:25.400 --> 0:29:28.000 it's important that the atmosphere we set in our homes. 0:29:28.040 --> 0:29:31.480 And she's she's a great example of setting an atmosphere 0:29:31.520 --> 0:29:34.360 of joy and just uh, you know, because there's a 0:29:34.400 --> 0:29:35.600 lot of stress in the world today. 0:29:35.640 --> 0:29:38.200 You guys, you deal with it too. You've got things 0:29:38.280 --> 0:29:38.600 going on. 0:29:38.760 --> 0:29:41.440 And I think sometimes Nick, we bring the pressures from 0:29:41.560 --> 0:29:44.440 work and from outside, we bring them into the home 0:29:44.560 --> 0:29:46.640 and for long we're all tense and we're up tight 0:29:46.720 --> 0:29:48.760 in there, and it's stressing the relationships. 0:29:48.800 --> 0:29:50.920 But I think it's important. You got to check that 0:29:51.000 --> 0:29:51.800 stuff at the door. 0:29:52.080 --> 0:29:54.840 You've got to keep your home, you know, set the 0:29:54.920 --> 0:29:58.640 atmosphere in your home of peace and joy and learn 0:29:58.760 --> 0:30:00.520 to laugh. I mean, like she said, we've been married 0:30:00.560 --> 0:30:03.120 thirty four years. We still laugh all the time, you know, 0:30:03.200 --> 0:30:05.840 and laughter's healthy. And you know, you may not be 0:30:05.920 --> 0:30:07.600 jumping up and down every day, but there should be 0:30:07.640 --> 0:30:11.400 a sense of joy and you know that laughter. But anyway, 0:30:11.440 --> 0:30:13.760 I'll tell you something funny that happened with Victoria. 0:30:14.440 --> 0:30:17.880 So Victoria is out in the backyard the other day. 0:30:18.280 --> 0:30:20.000 Well, I'm well, I should sit up like this. So 0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:20.800 I'm in the kitchen. 0:30:20.840 --> 0:30:22.760 They're going there in the morning, to get make my 0:30:23.760 --> 0:30:26.640 protein drink, and I hear some noise out in the backyard. 0:30:26.880 --> 0:30:27.959 I hear some music. 0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:29.920 I think the neighbors are having a party. 0:30:29.960 --> 0:30:31.160 And it's like eight in the morning. 0:30:31.240 --> 0:30:33.240 I think, what in the world is going on? It's 0:30:33.320 --> 0:30:34.800 so loud. I opened the door. 0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:37.520 Victoria's in the backyard and she's got her what are 0:30:37.520 --> 0:30:40.080 those earbuds in? She got her ear pods in and 0:30:40.240 --> 0:30:45.600 she's singing Waymaker, miracle worker or promise Keep and she's 0:30:45.640 --> 0:30:47.360 seeing like four times louder than. 0:30:47.320 --> 0:30:49.000 She's supposed to because those are in. 0:30:49.440 --> 0:30:51.560 I just got her and said, do you realize you're 0:30:51.640 --> 0:30:53.120 screaming the helll neighbors? 0:30:53.200 --> 0:30:56.240 But she's crazy, she's full of victory. 0:30:56.640 --> 0:31:00.960 I thought, Okay, thanks so much for listening to today's message. 0:31:01.240 --> 0:31:04.000 I hope you'll subscribe so you can receive the latest 0:31:04.080 --> 0:31:07.520 podcast to keep you encouraged and inspired all through the week. 0:31:07.720 --> 0:31:09.920 Help us to continue to share the message of hope 0:31:09.960 --> 0:31:13.280 with those all around the world. Visit Joelosting dot com 0:31:13.520 --> 0:31:16.040 or click the link in the description to partner with 0:31:16.200 --> 0:31:16.680 us today. 0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:19.360 We hope you'll share this message with a friend and 0:31:19.520 --> 0:31:21.440 be sure to follow us on social media. 0:31:21.760 --> 0:31:25.000 We're praying for you. I know God's best is still ahead. 0:31:25.280 --> 0:31:26.320 We'll see you next time. 0:31:28.320 --> 0:31:31.040 With millions of books on Amazon, there's a reading feeling 0:31:31.120 --> 0:31:35.440 for everyone. For example, Olivia's after learning she has quite 0:31:35.440 --> 0:31:37.880 a lot in common with a ninth century Viking, is 0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:42.240 different to Luna's who after the old man narrowly escaped 0:31:42.280 --> 0:31:45.720 being bitten by zombies, which is also different to Jerome's 0:31:45.960 --> 0:31:49.040 ha ha ha his eureka moment on finding the perfect 0:31:49.120 --> 0:31:54.840 new quote for his dating profile from haoo to haha. 0:31:55.360 --> 0:31:58.040 Amazon books that reading feeling awaits. 0:32:00.040 --> 0:32:03.360 Lusive vacations make life easy with endless eights, bottomless drinks, 0:32:03.400 --> 0:32:05.880 and never ending fun, so booking an all inclusive vacation 0:32:05.960 --> 0:32:09.120 should be easy too, write. That's where Apple Vacations comes in. 0:32:09.360 --> 0:32:11.920 Book your all inclusive getaway with Apple Vacations and receive 0:32:12.000 --> 0:32:14.840 exclusive perks as select resorts. You'll find the best deals 0:32:14.880 --> 0:32:17.440 to secrets resorts in spas, in Mexico and the Caribbean, 0:32:17.520 --> 0:32:20.760 and enjoy a selection of exclusive NonStop vacation flights. Turn 0:32:20.840 --> 0:32:23.440 on Easymode at Apple vacations dot com or call your 0:32:23.480 --> 0:32:25.120 local travel advisor to get started. 0:32:28.640 --> 0:32:32.920 Be a barbecue Hero with delicious ultralownet carb Hero bread 0:32:33.000 --> 0:32:36.160 buns and tortillas, soft and fluffy, high in fiber, and 0:32:36.320 --> 0:32:38.920 with zero grams of sugar, end up to ten grams 0:32:38.960 --> 0:32:41.920 of protein, coming in at under one hundred calories per serving. 0:32:42.200 --> 0:32:45.040 Oh and did I mention they taste like their mouthwatering 0:32:45.120 --> 0:32:48.920 traditional versions. It's enough to have the neighbors asking for seconds. 0:32:49.280 --> 0:32:52.200 Use code IHM ten for ten percent off your first 0:32:52.320 --> 0:32:55.840 hero Bread purchase at hero dot co. That's quote IHM 0:32:55.960 --> 0:32:58.440 ten for ten percent off at hero dot co